‘I think it’s more like weeks,’ Sarah said.
‘Don’t interrupting Charlie,’ Nadia snapped.
‘Charlie! What are you doing?’ I asked, trying to pull him back into his chair. He swatted me away.
‘Well, he’s not breaking up with her,’ Paul whispered.
‘And so, I am asking you, Nadia, if you will do me the honour of being my wife.’
‘Wait!’ I interrupted. ‘Charlie, listen to me, why can’t you just live together? Why do you have to get married?’
‘Ava, we’ve discussed this already. Stop trying to ruin my romantic moment,’ Charlie grumbled, and took a ring out of his pocket.
‘I does. I does. I does,’ Nadia shrieked, grabbing it and clamping it on her finger.
‘Is that Mum’s ring?’ I gasped. ‘The one I asked you to keep for the girls?’
‘Oh, shit,’ Sally mumbled.
Charlie looked a bit sheepish.
‘No girls’ ring. My ring,’ Nadia said, admiring my mother’s diamond ring.
‘Their boyfriends can buy them rings,’ Charlie said.
‘They’ll have to now.’ I was furious.
‘It’s cool, Mum, seriously,’ Sarah said. ‘It’s way too small for me. My engagement ring is going to be three times the size of that or there won’t be a wedding.’
‘It’s fine with me too,’ Ali said. ‘I’ll probably never get married anyway.’
‘Of course you will, you’re a real catch,’ Paul said, putting his arm around her. It looked enormous on her tiny shoulders.
‘Right, well, that’s sorted. Let’s toast the bride-to-be,’ Charlie said, and ordered a bottle of champagne while I tried, in vain, to look pleased at the idea that Nadia was going to be my new stepmother.
‘Come on, Ava, you can do better than that,’ Paul murmured in my ear.
‘No, I bloody can’t.’
‘He’s sixty-eight – you can’t stop him,’ Sally reminded me.
‘He’s making another huge mistake.’
‘We all know that, but it’s his big night so we just have to try to be happy for him,’ Paul urged.
‘Look on the bright side. Maybe it’ll be third time lucky. Charlie married your Mum for love. The second time he married Catherine because she was good fun – far too much fun, as it turned out. This time he’s marrying for pure lust. Who knows? It could work.’ Sally was doing her best.
‘She’s a money-grabbing wench. Even Magda says so,’ I hissed.
‘He’s happy,’ Paul said. ‘Look at him. He’s the happiest he’s been since he discovered Catherine was a roaring alcoholic.’
He had a point. Charlie did look happy. But the whole thing was insane. He had jumped into marriage with Catherine and look how that had turned out. This was headed in the same direction. Nadia didn’t love him. How could he be so naïve? Why did he have to rush into marriage? I didn’t want to see him get hurt again. ‘But she’s a gold-digger,’ I mumbled.
‘If that’s how he wants to live out his twilight years, who are we to judge?’ Paul said.
‘I’ve had one awful stepmother. I don’t want another. Why is he so clueless?’
‘He’s not clueless, he just doesn’t care. He likes her.’
Charlie was sitting with his arm around Nadia, beaming. Nothing and no one would ever persuade me that this was a good idea, but I decided to make an effort for Charlie’s sake. ‘Well, cheers to you both.’ I raised my glass.
‘Well done.’ Sally squeezed my arm.
‘I’d like my granddaughters to be bridesmaids,’ Charlie announced.
‘As long as we can choose our own outfits,’ Sarah said.
‘No problem.’
‘Congratulations, guys,’ Ali said, going over to kiss them both. ‘I’m heading off to bed now. Goodnight.’
I watched her walk into the hotel, pulling her cardigan around her – still thin, still cold, still unhappy.
The rest of us stayed in the restaurant to ring in the New Year. At half eleven Paul’s phone buzzed. He took the call and then came over to me. ‘Sorry, Ava, there’s a problem in the pub. I have to go back to the room – I need my laptop. Hopefully it won’t take too long to sort out.’
He was gone before I could respond. I sat back and sighed. Sarah said she wanted to go and call Bobby, then Charlie and Nadia got up and said they were going for a moonlight walk on the beach.
‘Happy bloody new year,’ I said, draining my glass.
‘It’s not that bad,’ Sally said.
‘Isn’t it? My husband’s holed up in our hotel room watching his pub on his computer! My father has just got engaged to a pole dancer and my daughter won’t eat.’
‘When you put it like that it doesn’t sound so good.’
‘Let’s get really drunk.’ I ordered a bottle of wine and twenty cigarettes. My family had driven me to drink and smoking.
One bottle led to another and then I insisted on going to a nightclub. ‘I’m not going back to my room until the sun comes up,’ I announced. ‘I need a blow-out. Come on, we’re going dancing.’
‘OK, but maybe you should have a bottle of water so you don’t pass out.’
‘To hell with water. Let’s do shots.’
‘Whatever you say.’
We went to Mambo, a local club, and sat up at the bar. I ordered tequila – I hadn’t drunk it since I was in college and ended up with alcohol poisoning after consuming half a bottle at a twenty-first-birthday party. ‘To a successful year at Happy Dayz,’ I said, toasting Sally and knocking back the shot.
‘To parents with pots of money, no sense and spoilt kids,’ Sally said.
‘To my best friend. I hope you meet Mr Right or, if not, then I hope you meet lots of gorgeous Mr Wrongs to have fun with,’ I slurred.
‘I’ll drink to that.’ Sally laughed. ‘And here’s to Ali getting better and to Paul working less.’
‘Fat chance.’ I drank anyway.
‘Can I buy you ladies a drink?’ the barman asked. I peered at him. He wasn’t bad-looking. His deep tan was set off by a very white shirt, open to the navel to reveal a smooth, hairless chest. He had dark eyes and black hair with flecks of grey in it.
‘Yes, you most certainly can. What’s your name?’ I asked.
‘Carlos.’
‘I’m Ava and this is my friend, Sally.’ But Sally wasn’t paying attention because she was being chatted up by an English guy who had just arrived at the bar.
‘Ava is a beautiful name,’ Carlos told me.
‘Thank you. Your English is very good.’
‘That’s because ninety per cent of my customers are English.’
‘Do you like working here?’
‘I hope so – I own it.’
‘Oops, sorry, I didn’t realize.’
‘No problem. Now, what can I get for you, beautiful Ava?’
‘Surprise me!’ I giggled like a schoolgirl. This was fun – I was having fun. I was still young and attractive. To hell with everyone, I deserved to have a good night out.
Carlos served me up some kind of cocktail that had smoke coming out of it. At this stage I would have drunk pond water. I knocked it back in three gulps.
‘Slowly, Ava, there is a lot of alcohol in there.’
‘I need it.’
‘You are sad?’
‘No, I’m demented.’
‘Your husband is a bad man?’
‘Not bad, neglectful. My father is a lunatic and my daughter won’t eat.’
‘You don’t have a daughter! With a body like this, I can’t believe it.’
‘Oh, Carlos, you’re good at this.’
‘You have very beautiful eyes.’
I leant forward. ‘Really?’
‘Yes, they are like emeralds. And your mouth is like a rose.’
‘And is my hair like woven silk?’ I giggled.
‘Yes, and your breasts are like two perfect melons.’
‘And is my skin like satin?’
‘
Exactamente!
’ He took my hand and kissed the inside of my wrist. It was nice, and I felt all tingly.
‘Let’s dance, Carlos. I never dance any more. I used to love dancing. I was really good. My husband and I went to clubs all the time, but then we had kids and jobs and now we never go anywhere.’
‘Come on,
mi amor
, I will dance with you all night.’
Carlos helped me down from the bar stool and led me onto the dance-floor, where I proceeded to shake, writhe and twirl like a mad person. Sally and her new friend, Fred, came to join us. Carlos went to talk to the DJ and suddenly a slow song came on. It was Céline Dion’s ‘My Heart Will Go On’, which Sally and I proceeded to sing along to, screeching at each other while Fred and Carlos tried to prise us away to dance.
I found myself being swept around the dance-floor with Carlos pressed up against me, leaving me in no doubt that he wanted to have sex with me. Just in case I hadn’t felt the enormity of his hard-on, he whispered into my ear, ‘I want to make love to you all night long.’
Suddenly all the twirling was making me feel a bit queasy and his aftershave was very pungent. ‘I just need to pop to the toilet,’ I said, tapping Sally on the shoulder as I passed her. She followed hot on my heels.
‘I think I’m going home with Carlos,’ I announced, splashing water on my face.
‘No, you’re not. You’re just having some fun and then you’re going to your own bed and your husband.’
‘Maybe I won’t,’ I said, flicking my hair. ‘Carlos said I’m the sexiest woman he’s ever met and he wants to make me scream with desire.’ I started laughing.
‘Fred’s a lot more eloquent.’ Sally giggled. ‘He said I’m the best bit of Irish totty he’s ever seen.’
‘Oh, God, Sally, what are we like?’
‘We’re two friends having a bit of fun.’
We heard someone knocking on the door. ‘Ava,
guapa
, I am waiting for you,’ Carlos shouted.
‘Coming, just one second,’ I said, trying not to laugh. ‘What are we going to do?’ I slurred. ‘Maybe I should just go for it.’
‘No, no, no.’ Sally wagged an unsteady finger in my face. ‘Come on, I’m getting you out of temptation’s way.’ She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the emergency door in the corner of the Ladies. We pushed it open, setting off a piercing alarm, and ran back to the hotel, laughing hysterically all the way.
Paul was awake when I stumbled in. ‘Where the hell were you?’
‘Out having a good time.’
‘It’s six in the morning. I was worried.’
‘It was New Year’s bloody Eve. You’re supposed to go out and have a good time. We’ve never spent New Year together because of the pub and the one time I get you to come away you spend it in the hotel room on the phone.’
‘Johnny needed my advice,’ he snapped.
‘Did he? Or did you just need to feel you were in charge?’
‘There’s no point talking to you – you’re drunk.’
‘Gee, I wonder why. Maybe it was because my life is pretty stressful right now and I could do with some bloody support,’ I said, beginning to cry.
‘I know I messed up tonight, but I am here for you, Ava.’
‘It doesn’t feel like it. I need more help with Ali.’
‘Look, January’s always quiet in the pub. I’ll be around more, I promise.’
There he goes again, I thought, fitting us in around the pub. I lay down on the bed and passed out.
27
We arrived home on 2 January. Ali and I had an appointment with Mary Boland, the psychologist, for Monday morning. It was a relief to know that I’d be getting Ali seen by more professionals. I needed all the help I could get.
On the Sunday evening I phoned Sally to remind her that I’d be late into work the next day because I had to take Ali to the doctor. ‘OK,’ she croaked. ‘No problem.’
‘You sound exhausted. Were you out last night?’
‘I certainly was.’
‘I know that giggle, Sally Keene. Tell me everything.’
Sally started talking and didn’t draw breath …
Her friend Judy, having woken up on New Year’s Day feeling depressed at the thought of facing into yet another year alone, had decided to throw a post-New Year’s Eve party for all the single people she knew. You just had to turn up with one single heterosexual male you were not dating and a bottle of booze. Sally had no plans for Saturday so she bribed her friend Mark to go with her. He had recently been dumped and was feeling very angry.
For the first hour or so everyone was very polite and made small-talk, while coyly eyeing up any talent in the room. But the drinks flowed and soon inhibition went out of the window. Unfortunately the alcohol fuelled Mark’s bitterness towards women and he ended up abusing some poor girl. Sally could hear him roaring, ‘You’re all the same. Bitches, the whole lot of you.’
‘Who brought that nutter?’ Judy asked. Sally shrugged her shoulders and denied any knowledge of Mark.
She decided to hide behind the Christmas tree in case he saw her and came over. She was crouching down when she heard a noise. She was not alone in the hiding place. A very attractive man was huddled behind the other side of the tree, looking terrified.
‘Who are you hiding from?’ he asked.
‘That lunatic is the male friend I brought to the party. I’m disowning him,’ she whispered. ‘What about you?’
‘My ex-wife has just turned up and she has some serious anger issues. Maybe I should introduce her to your friend – they might hit it off.’
‘Or kill each other.’ Sally giggled. ‘Why is your wife so angry? Did you cheat on her?’
‘Why does everyone presume that men cheat on women?’
‘Because they do.’
‘OK, fair point, but in this case, she had an affair and when I left her and proceeded to move on with my life, she decided she wanted me back. Needless to say I told her to take a hike and she went doo-lally.’
‘What did she do?’
‘She set my car on fire.’
‘Were you in it?’
‘Are you joking? I’d be six feet under – she doused it in petrol.’
‘Wow. I kind of admire that.’
‘You do?’
‘It’s a very passionate thing to do.’
‘And psychotic.’
‘It’s fiery.’
‘And mad.’
‘Sizzling.’
‘And insane.’
‘Hot.’
‘So you’re good at synonyms. Can I kiss you now?’
The last time someone had asked Sally if they could kiss her, she was sixteen years old at the local disco. There was something incredibly nice about being asked as opposed to being lunged at. ‘Shouldn’t we exchange names first?’ She smiled at her fellow fugitive.
‘Sorry, of course. Simon.’
‘Sally,’ she said, proffering a hand as he leant in and kissed her. Just as she was savouring the moment, she felt a sharp pain on the side of her head. ‘Ouch.’