Piercing The Fold (3 page)

Before I can get my money out, Ezra puts his hand up. “Nonsense. My treat. Be safe on your walk home. I will see you around campus, all right?”

I sit back, thinking on that for a second. “Yes, I’m sure you will. Seems like I’ve gotten to see you more regularly lately.”

Ezra gives me a look of awkwardness.

I quickly correct myself. “I mean it’s not a bad thing. I really like your company.”

God, I hope that didn’t sound weird to him.

I genuinely feel comfortable in his presence, like you would with a dad or uncle.

Yep, that sounded weird.

I mean, he’s practically a stranger. I only know him through classes at the university. It isn’t like we’ve known each other forever.

Ezra’s awkwardness clears, and his face lights up. “Not at all, Jesca. I feel the same way. It is nice to talk with you and listen to your dilemmas, no matter how mundane you may think they are. Life will definitely not get easier. But you will get better at it. Does that make sense?” He looks at me with hope in his eyes. A desperate type of hope for me to really understand what he is saying.

I really didn’t. I hated to burst his bubble, though. “It makes sense. I hope I get better at life sooner than later. This part of my life is kind of sucking.”

Ezra says, “It will, Jesca, sooner than you may realize.”

We say our brief goodbyes, and I grab my bag and head out the door, walking quickly toward the market.

Chamomile tea.

I never knew the market had a whole section on teas for relaxing. I get the tea and head home. The walk home is quiet. Not many people wandering the streets at this hour. I decide to call Mom and Dad to keep me company while I walk.

“Hi, Mom. Yes. I’m fine. Just had to head to the market for some chamomile tea. Okay. I will add a touch of milk.”

Gross.

“All right. Hey, is Dad around?”

Dad gets on the other line. “Remember the imagery we used to practice with you? I hope you have been using it. First breathe deeply in. Then out. In. Then out. Now, close your eyes and imagine your favorite peaceful place.”

I interrupt, “I remember the rest, Dad, thanks. Uh, I’ve got to go. I just made it home. I’m going to try and get some rest.”

Before hanging up, they both ask me to promise to call if things don’t get better. I halfheartedly promise.

I sit in bed with my cup of tea in hand. Sipping and flipping through a magazine. I close the magazine and sit the almost empty cup of tea down.

Okay. My favorite place. The ocean. The sand is warm from the afternoon sun.

I continue to set the scene in my mind as I close my eyes. The sea breeze is blowing steadily, as I sit on the beach, facing the hypnotic waves. I begin synchronizing my breath with the consistent ebb and flow of the waves.

“Breathe in. Breathe out.”

I become limp. Each muscle from the tip of my big toe to the tips of my ears feels numb. I slip into sleep, and I’m at peace for now.

I’m running in the woods. I hear the low, dull humming vibration coming from all around me. I’m not sure if it is coming from inside of me or outside of me.

“Jesca. You are safe. I am with you.”

The voice is so familiar, but I just can’t pinpoint it. I don’t feel vulnerable, though. I feel the breath of this guiding voice on my shoulder; I turn to find nothing but wooded terrain. I do not feel the sinister darkness that I have felt in the other nightmares and visions. All I feel is warmth, a shielding embrace. I’m running faster, out of the woods into the clearing near the lake. Just a few strides and I flash to treading on familiar concrete heading back to Mom and Dad’s old house. The mist is seeping in on the streetlights.

I’m back in the nightmare.

The warm voice comes again. “You are ready to learn the truth.”

Flashes of the nightmare come crashing into my mind. For a moment, my anxiety rises. Then I remember the voice and feel its presence. Calm and relief wash over me. My pace slows as I come to the front of my house. I hear the yelling from Dad and screaming from Mom.

The voice interrupts my brief anxiety spike.

“They are fine, Jes. You have done this many times. See the truth. This time look into the darkness. Face it, and fight it.”

My heart is pounding frantically. I want to run for the door, but I hesitate.

The voice comes again. “Jesca. You are in control. This time see what you fear. See why this vision is tormenting you. Nothing can hurt you or your parents right now. Your physical body is at home in bed; you are sleeping.”

My breath becomes more even as the voice of reason soothes me.

My hand reaches for the doorknob. In the blink of an eye, I’m in the entryway with the door shut behind me.

This speed thing is pretty convenient.

I start to sense the heavy, musky dark crawling around me on the wooden floors. I feel it creeping onto the walls. The darkness begins the pulling from within me. It is like a magnetic feeling drawing me toward it. I pull back against it slightly.

“Jesca, push back. You have done this before. You have this powerful force within you. Wield that power; use your energy.”

I push back as I have always done in this nightmare. I am praying to God under my breath.

“Create a shield of white light around you, Jes. Imagine a white powerful light surrounding you.”

I focus my entire mind on drawing this shield around myself. I feel this force of light reverberating off of me, molding around me. I sweep my arms to the right, then the left. The dark shifts away at my every move. I head up the stairs slowly.

It’s working. The pull isn’t as strong now. I am breaking its hold on me.

In an instant, I am in my parents’ room.

The terrible scene. My mother convulsing on the ground, struggling to remain herself. My father praying over her, tears and anguish on his face.

“Encircle your parents within your shield. Surround the three of you.”

I whisper, “I don’t think I can.” I feel like I am sinking against the door.

The voice is at my ear now and more forceful than before. “Yes, you can. You have the strength. Now do it!”

I shiver at the sternness of the voice and the lingering feeling of the warm breath on my ear. I close my eyes, walk toward my parents, and focus on spreading the energy from within myself around my mother, father, and I.

All of a sudden, the chaos becomes silent. My eyes shoot open, fearful that I have done something very wrong. My parents are looking at me, faces contorting into terrible, monster-like beings. Their eyes are jet black with no whites to them; they don’t look human. Their expressions are full of hate, anger, and a yearning to attack me. I am their prey. My heart and stomach begin to twist and burn with fear. I feel my focus slipping.

The voice comes again. “Don’t, Jes. Don’t let your energy slip away. You need to save them. The dark entity is pulling at your fear. Take it on.”

I lean in to my mom first. She looks like she is going to attack me, but I don’t back down. I close my eyes.

Dear God, save me.

I feel the white-hot energy spill from me onto her. I grab hold of my father by his shoulder. I press them both against me. My shield is encircling us. I open my eyes and see my mom’s face as her own.

Her eyes are filled with tears. She mouths to me, “You did it, Jes.”

My father’s holding on to my mother and me.

He says, “We’re safe. You are safe, Jes.”

The powerful shelter I created is still radiating from us. I can feel that the dark presence is still pushing against me.

Why is it not backing off?

The voice responds to my thought. “It is waiting for our weakness to show. Any sign of it and it will attack again. Your energy is still strong. Now imagine yourself turning up the energy slowly, building it inside you until you feel like you need to let it burst from within you.”

I whisper, “How the heck do I do that?”

“Your mind, Jes, can do so much more than you are aware of. Just do as I am telling you. Your mind will know what to do.”

I shut my eyes and feel heat bouncing from me to my parents.

That must be the energy radiating from me.

I breathe in, imagining I am taking in the energy around me from everything, the earth, all of it.

The voice confirms my actions. “Yes, that is it. You’ve got it.”

I feel the air around me. It feels intensely electrified. The warmth of the energy is pure, electrifying energy. I open my eyes to see what effect it is having around me. The energy is a pulsating wave moving around us in time with my racing pulse. Every pulse I feel a wave of pure energy roll around me, my parents, and the darkness. My pulse quickens out of fear of what is happening.

I’m doing this?

The energy synchronizes with my pulse instantly. I quicken my pulse with determination now.

I’m doing this!

The energy waves roll over the room in a consistent hypnotic flow; quicker and quicker until there is a silent flash every second: flash, flash, flash. The darkness falls back as the strength of my energy drowns it. I don’t move from my mother and father. We are holding on to each other. All I hear is our breathing.

I wake breathing fiercely, and my heart feels like it is pounding out of my chest. I am unable to move, though.

Damn it, sleep paralysis.

I lie there and try to recollect the dream step by step before it slips away. I am physically exhausted even though everything happened in my sleep.

I quickly shift my thoughts to the voice, my guide. The voice was so strong and protective. I felt safe for the first time in there, remembering the words that this comforting voice gave to steer me through my nightmare to save my family.

My family!

I look at the clock, 5:30 a.m. I am able to move my arm very slowly if I concentrate on it.
The numbness is fading quicker this time.

I pick up the phone even though it may be too early to call. I need to talk with them. The nightmare is still so fresh, so intense in my mind. I need my parents to separate the ethereal and reality that are intermingling in my mind.

Dad picks up on the first ring. “Jes. Is everything okay?”

I answer quickly, “Everything is fine. I just wanted to hear you. Are you guys okay?”

I hear Mom in the background. “Is she okay?”

I answer before Dad has the chance to relay her message. “Yes. It was the nightmare. This time it was different. I made it through. I can’t really explain it all. But I saved you and Mom. I know this sounds crazy, but I think it was a test.”

I hear Dad walking as he listens.

“Dad? What are you doing?”

Dad is speaking to someone else, not Mom. I hear muffled voices as if he is covering the receiver.

That makes me anxious.

“Dad? What is going on over there?”

Dad quickly uncovers the receiver. “Jes? Sorry, um, Mom was answering the door.”

I wait for Dad to elaborate, but he doesn’t. I’m irritated by his unwillingness to give me an explanation.

“At 5:30 in the morning? Who is it?”

Dad dodges my question. “Hey, do you think you could come over for breakfast before you head into work. We, uh, need to talk about something.”

Dad quickly adds, “Everything is fine. We just need to talk about some decisions we are making.”

Wearily, I agree. “Sure. I’ll be over in a couple of hours. I go in to work at noon today.”

There is a silence between us. In the background I hear rustling and other voices. I can’t help but pry. “Are you sure everything is all right over there? Do you want me to come over now?”

“No. Just take your time, honey. We are just getting up and about. We have a friend that just popped in. So we have catching up to do before you get here. Take your time.” He sounds more himself now, which brings relief to my flighty emotions. We say our goodbyes and hang up.

A friend at 5:30 in the morning?

I crawl back into bed. I can’t help but wonder who the friend is and why he or she is over at the house so early in the morning.

I close my eyes, still tired from the active dream state I was in for most of the night. I felt so strong and in control of myself and everything around me. I think about the terrible nightmares and hallucinations. The people that I have encountered over the past week. How the dreams have become more intense, severe, spontaneous, and chaotic almost. Somehow, I was able to find stability and control in the chaos.

The guide’s voice helped me.

The comforting feeling comes over me again. I feel empowered and confident for the first time in a long time. Maybe I will be able to sleep now that I have this energy within me to protect myself. I’m curious if this ability, this energy within, will bleed into my waking hours just as the visions and hallucinations have found their way into my reality.

The ability to hear even the smallest whisper found its way in. The speed I possessed in the woods found its way into my reality as well. The humming sound and vibration around my body, like a shield warning me of impending danger, has found its way in. What if I have unlocked a part of my mind that has been hibernating, until now.

What has awakened this inside of me?

I fade back into sleep.

I head over to Mom and Dad’s around 12:30. Mom and Dad got me a blue 2001 Mazda CRV on my 16th birthday. I remember being so excited. I had just gotten my license; that was a liberating moment. My car is reliable, practical, nothing fancy or sporty. I only use it to get to Mom and Dad’s and when the weather is beyond wind and light drizzle.

I turn on the radio. The national news fills the car’s speakers. I am partially listening just to have some background noise as I drive. The news is riddled with global warming theories, upcoming elections, living green eco tips, earthquakes, tsunamis, unstable weather conditions setting unprecedented records this decade. I turn it off before I make it to the turn onto my street. So much is happening lately. Or maybe I was just more aware of the events in the news.

Why the awareness now?

I arrive on my street, and immediately the anxiousness turns to a dull burning, starting in my head to my heart, then stomach. It is like that burning sensation you get when something scares you to the core.

Damn, I hate this feeling!

My dad says it is called the flight or fight reflex.

The vibration in my head, my body, starts. I take some deep breaths as I pull into our drive.