Pike's Folly (23 page)

Read Pike's Folly Online

Authors: Mike Heppner

Tags: #Fiction

BOOK: Pike's Folly
11.38Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub

“That's not true. What about ‘Surf 's Up'? That song kills ‘A Day in the Life.' And ‘Cabin-Essence,' and ‘Do You Like Worms,' and—”

“No,” Brian insisted. “It wasn't good enough. Hey, I was stoned out of my mind. I was fat and depressed and I couldn't write anymore. I
blew
it, man, you know? There I was: twenty-four years old, I'd just had a number-one hit single, the Beach Boys were the most popular band in England—more popular than the Beatles—and everyone in the world was waiting to hear what I'd do next. I couldn't just come out with another
album,
could I? I had to do something amazing. A super album! So that's what I did. I went into the studio and kept the tapes rolling . . . and went fucking nuts, man. It's as simple as that. That's what
Smile
is—it's me going nuts. Playin' with fire trucks and makin' barnyard sounds and gettin' on my brothers' nerves and”—he laughed—“and just gettin' it all on tape, you know? And all the while, people were asking me, ‘When's the next Beach Boys record comin' out?' And I kept saying, ‘It's gonna be great, man, it's gonna be great!' But I had no idea.”

Heath had stopped listening. He'd heard enough already. Up until now, his own project—the hours of footage that he'd shot with Pike and Marlene—had failed to cohere. It lacked structure, lacked a thesis. But after talking to Brian, he knew what his thesis was. The lost movie. The unfinished work of art.

When their meeting was over, Heath and Brian walked out of the clearing and back to the staging area, where a helicopter was waiting to take Brian to a sound check in Concord. Before leaving, he said, “Denny had a lost album, too, called
Bamboo.
He never finished it. I don't like it when a person finishes everything he starts. It means he's not tryin' hard enough.”

Heath smiled. “Sounds like Mike Love.”

Brian was surprisingly generous toward his cousin. “Let me tell you something—Mike Love
is
the Beach Boys. Without Mike there wouldn't have been a group. I love that guy. Every one of those fellas—Mike, Carl, Dennis, even Al and Bruce—was more responsible for the Beach Boys' success than I ever was. They played the
concerts,
man. They went on the road, they took the music to the
people.
I'm grateful to each one of 'em, and I miss Carl and Dennis somethin' terrible.” He held out his hand. “Look, if you need anything else, just let me know. Nate's got my number. I'll be on tour through August, but any time after that's cool.”

“There might be
one
thing,” Heath began, but then the helicopter pilot shouted, “Brian, we've got to go.”

Brian waved for the pilot to hold on. Putting his arm around Heath's shoulder, he said, “I wrote a little tune once. I think it made it on to one of our records. It's more like a Boy Scout chant than a real song. It goes”—he sang in his nearly worn-out falsetto—“Eat a lot, sleep a lot, brush 'em like crazy. Run a lot, do a lot, never be lazy.”

Heath knew the song, of course. “ ‘Mama Says,' from
Wild
Honey.
The original version was supposed to be on
Smile.

“It's good advice,” Brian said, maintaining a strong grip on Heath's shoulder. “Don't forget it.” Then, releasing him, he jogged across the field and climbed into the helicopter, which took off almost immediately. Heath watched the chopper rise, hover at a low altitude and make a 180-degree turn toward its destination. He couldn't see Brian through the glass canopy but kept waving anyway, until the helicopter dipped over the mountains and the sound of the chopper blades faded into silence.

Thanks, Mr. Pike,
Heath thought, and walked back to the store.

5

Foreword
—by Brian Wilson

Man, I wish you could've seen it.

Most of what you're about to read doesn't exist anymore; some of it does, though who knows what happened to it—ask Heath. I was one of a few invited guests who happened to get a peek at Heath Baxter's unfinished masterpiece, and I can tell you that I haven't been so blown away by a movie since the first time I saw
2001
. Heath's movie is hard to describe—part guerrilla documentary, part sex film and part time capsule, it manages to incorporate a staggering array of visual techniques as it offers a glimpse into the lives of its famous, real-life characters. For now, all we can do is savor these collected fragments—adapted from the director's own transcripts—and to hope that, one day, Heath will come to his senses and release the rest of it.

Man, I wish you could've seen it.

Love and Mercy,
BW, Summer '02.

 

Fragment #3b—“Ich bin der Zorn Gottes!” (1:13)

(NATHANIEL PIKE, 43, stands beside a construction site in a
heavily wooded area, where workers are deforesting the land
to make room for a parking lot. He looks uncomfortable in
front of the camera, which slowly tightens in from a wide
shot.)

PIKE:
(Speaking directly into the camera.)
Welcome to my kingdom. My little, uh . . . this is where I like to take my clothes off and run around naked.
(He laughs.)
No, I don't . . . but I
would,
if I wanted to. Nothing wrong with that.
(Getting impatient.)
Hey, Heath, is this gonna take all day?

HEATH:
(Behind the camera.)
I'm just practicing my zoom.

(The camera pulls back as twice more, HEATH BAXTER, 26,
rehearses his technique. Pike checks his watch, then fiddles
with his shirtsleeves.)

PIKE: All right, let me tell you a joke. You wanna hear a joke?

I'm gonna make up a joke. Two guys walk into a bar, and one of 'em says, “Hey, you know what? I just got laid.” And the other one says, “So did I.”
(He pauses, thinking of a
punch line.)
And then the first one says, “Was it good?” And the other one says, “I don't know . . . was it good for you?”
(He smiles, proud of himself.)
Hey, Heath, did you hear that?
(No reply, so he asks again.)
My joke. Did you hear my joke?

HEATH:
(Preoccupied.)
I'm sorry, I was just practicing my zoom.

PIKE: Well, screw you, then . . . he don't listen to my jokes.
(Pike lapses into a ponderous silence, as again,
Heath Zooms in with his camera, then pulls quickly
back out.)

Fragment #7a—“Have You Seen Me?” (2:57)

(MARLENE BREEN, 32, poses at the entrance to the Sakonnet
Bridge, a small link of state highway that crosses the
Sakonnet River near Tiverton. The day is gray and breezy,
and she's bundled up in a long winter coat. About twenty
yards down the empty road, STUART BREEN, 31, keeps an
anxious lookout for approaching cars. After a truck passes,
he signals to Marlene, who slips off her coat and stands
naked. She looks very cold as she smiles for Heath's camera.)

HEATH: Hold it. Hold it. Good.

(A gust sweeps up from the river, blowing Marlene's hair in
her face. Both she and Heath laugh.)

MARLENE: Ooo, it's cold!

HEATH: You wanna stop?

MARLENE:
(With the wind dying down.)
No, it's okay.
(Looking
over her shoulder, she gets an idea and starts across the
bridge, walking away from the camera.)
Let's go over here.

HEATH:
(Laughing.)
Oh, shit . . .

(He follows her, stops to frame his shot, then runs to catch
up. Stuart yells at them from far off, but his words are
unintelligible.)

HEATH:
(Teasing her.)
Damn, girl, you've got a nice ass!

(She smiles back at him and keeps walking. For several
seconds, all we hear is the wind, Heath's breathing and
Stuart's distant shouts.)

HEATH: All right, we should probably head back.

(She ignores him and picks up the pace.)

HEATH: I can't believe this.
(A few steps later.)
This is
so
fucked up.

(Midway across the bridge, she stops and leans back against
the guardrail.)

MARLENE: This looks like a good place.

HEATH: A good place for what?

MARLENE:
(Shrugging.)
What do you want to talk about?

(The picture goes in and out of focus as Heath makes an
adjustment to his camera.)

HEATH: Uh . . . whatever you want to talk about, Marlene. You're doing fine.

MARLENE:
(Holding her breasts.)
How about how fucking
hot
I am?

HEATH:
(Good-natured but without much enthusiasm.)
You are pretty fucking hot, ma'am.

(Footsteps approach as Stuart runs in from the corner of the
screen and covers her with her jacket.)

STUART: What the hell are you doing?

MARLENE: Jesus, Stuart, you're gonna push me right off the bridge!

(Stunned, she holds the jacket in front of her but doesn't put
it on. Off camera, a car whooshes by.)

STUART:
(Pointing at the jacket.)
Get that on, and let's go.

MARLENE: All
right
! Ask nicely.

HEATH: Yeah, Stu's probably right. Let's not push it.

(Heath puts his camera down; the rest of the scene is a close-up of his pant leg.)

HEATH:
(To himself.)
I think I fucked up the audio when I—
(Marlene and Stuart argue in the background.)

STUART:—when I'm telling you something!

MARLENE: Well, I'm sorry! Heath was here, and I was having a good time—

STUART: I don't care. Let's go. It's too goddamn cold anyway.

MARLENE: Why do you always have to make me feel so awful?

STUART: I'm
trying
to help you, Marlene.

MARLENE: Fine, just ask nicely when you—

(Heath swoops up the camera and turns it off.)

Fragment #7b—“Old Friends” (1:43)

(The scene opens on a bare table in a firelit breakfast room.
Pike sits across the table from his old friend, SARAH
CRANBERRY, 44. Behind him, a four-paned window looks
out on a meadow, where snow is falling. As the scene starts,
Stuart is setting a mug of coffee in front of Pike. He points at
Sarah.)

STUART: You want me to make another pot?

(She half-rises from her chair.)

SARAH: I can do it.

STUART: No, no . . . you sit.

(He leaves the room, and Pike smiles pleasantly at Sarah.)

PIKE: That's right, Sarah, let someone else do the work for a change.
(He presents his best public relations smile to the
camera.)
Sarah's the real reason why I'm here, you know. There's not a woman alive who can keep me away from Providence for more than forty-eight hours.

(She looks pleased but speaks softly into her lap.)

SARAH: Don't joke about it, Nate.

PIKE: I'm
not,
I'm just saying
(turning back to the camera)
that Sarah's the best short-order cook in New England. She can do more with one hand than most women with—

(She slugs him.)

SARAH: Don't say it.

PIKE:
(Laughing.)
What? What'd I say?

SARAH:
(Also laughing, gesturing at the camera.)
He's trying to ask a question.

PIKE: Oh, right. Of course.
(He composes himself.)
Heath, what was your question?

HEATH:
(Off-camera.)
Are you—

PIKE: Too slow! Gotta do better than that.

SARAH: You didn't let him finish. Go ahead, Heath. What's your question?

HEATH:
(Mildly piqued.)
That's okay.

SARAH:
(To Pike.)
See? You hurt his feelings.

PIKE: No, I didn't. Heath knows I'm just screwing around. Don't you, Heath?
(The camera nods.)
See? Now shake your head.
(The camera does.)
Good. Now roll over.

HEATH: Fuck you.

(All laugh as Stuart returns from the kitchen.)

Fragment #11a—“Boys' Turn” (:48)

(Marlene points the camera at Heath, who stands in front of
a nondescript brick wall. She laughs continuously
throughout the scene.)

MARLENE: All right . . . go!

(Trying to be a good sport, Heath unzips his pants and
flashes his dick at the camera. Marlene gleefully Zooms in for
a better shot.)

MARLENE: Oh, good, good—that's good!

(He holds the pose for a two-count, then stuffs himself back into
his pants and walks out of frame.)

MARLENE:
(Disappointed.)
Aw, you moved too soon!

(As she sets up another shot, we hear the garbled sound of
Heath coaxing Stuart in front of the camera. Except for the
brick wall, the screen is empty. Finally, Stuart comes on, led
by Heath.)

MARLENE: And now, the man of the hour . . .

HEATH: Yeah, Stuart!

(After some hesitation, Stuart pulls down his sweatpants and
lets them bunch around his ankles.)

MARLENE: Whoo! Look at that sexy cock!

(He tolerates this for a few seconds, then yanks his pants
back up and walks off-screen. Marlene calls to him.)

MARLENE: Wait, hon, if you—
(Black.)

Fragment #12a—“Masturbation Fantasy #1” (2:35)

(Early evening on Mount Independence. Shovel in hand,
Pike digs a shallow hole in one corner of the construction
site, which is covered with trees and underbrush. Someone
has made him angry, and he's taken up the shovel to let off
steam.)

PIKE:
(To himself but in a loud enough voice for others to hear.)
As long as I'm out here, no one goes home. I don't give a damn. I'll build the fucking thing myself.
(He stops digging
and calls out to a small group of workers who are also working
with shovels.)
Who wants to quit, right now? Any takers? Come on, you hotshots. Who wants to go back to Concord?
(One of the workers shouts something antagonistic to Pike.)

PIKE: That's fine! Talk all you want, buddy. I gotcha right here
(makes a fist)
in the ball sack.

(The worker continues to shout at Pike, who waves
sarcastically.)

PIKE: Bye-bye! Bye-bye!
(He briefly goes back to work, then
throws down his shovel and marches toward the workers.)
Who wants to go home? Tell me now—who wants to go home?

(His voice becomes garbled as he storms away from the
camera. When Heath finally catches up to him, Pike is
arguing with three hostile workers.)

PIKE: You're nothing but shit, man. Your mother was embarrassed to give birth to you.

WORKER: Is that right?

(Pike's rage is centered on one of them, who in turn seems
hesitant to confront him directly. The other two maintain a
cautious distance, not daring to speak.)

PIKE: Do you know what you are? Let me tell you, this is funny. You are a retarded piece of cow crap. You can eat my fucking turds—right out of my asshole, fuckwad.

WORKER:
(Laughing.)
All right . . .

PIKE: You shut up! I'm not finished with you.

WORKER: It sounds like you are.

(The workers chuckle to themselves but stop when Pike flies
into a new tirade.)

PIKE: Oh, HA HA, right! HA HA! There, I can say it, too.

(The most recalcitrant worker spits at Pike, who doesn't
hesitate to slap his cheek. All three workers freeze.)

PIKE:
(Jabbing his finger in the man's face.)
Don't you
ever
fucking do that to me again. I'll stab your fucking eyes out, man. I'll pull your prison records. You want that? You wanna get raped?

(There's an abrupt cut, and when the scene resumes, Pike
has gone back to his original spot. He speaks in a soft,
conversational tone to Heath, who is behind the camera.)

PIKE: The fact is, Heath, I don't always know what I'm talking about. Hey, I'll admit it. That's all right—that's part of being a good leader. The important thing is to just keep dreaming. And if some people don't share my dream, then there's compromise. And I don't like compromise.

Fragment #12b—“Masturbation Fantasy #2” (1:35)

(Marlene lies naked in bed and speaks to Heath and Stuart,
who are behind the camera.)

MARLENE: I guess I don't understand this scene.

HEATH: Okay. What don't you understand?

(She's reluctant to say anything critical but finally does.)

MARLENE: It's just that we've been shooting outside all this time, and now
(looking around the bedroom)
we're
here.
I don't get it.

HEATH: Don't you feel comfortable here?

MARLENE: No, I do. It's just different. I like it better when there's people watching.

HEATH: I'm watching. Stuart's watching.

MARLENE: Strangers, I mean.

(Stuart has less patience than Heath, and he snaps.)

STUART: Why don't you try it in front of the window, hon?

Other books

KeyParty by Jayne Kingston
When in Rome by Ngaio Marsh
Biblical by Christopher Galt
In Her Absence by Antonio Munoz Molina
Lauri Robinson by Sheriff McBride
Black Heart by R.L. Mathewson
Nyarlathotep by H. P. Lovecraft
Cuban Death-Lift by Randy Striker
Gifted Touch by Melinda Metz