Pink Slip Prophet (4 page)

Ian admired the passion in his boy and a small smile crept onto his face before Candy noticed it and he wiped it away.

Candy cleared her throat. “Of course we care about your father. We love him. But—”

“You’re lying!” Jack yelled.

“Now listen here, young man,” said Candy. “You won’t talk to your mother like that. Go to your room. This meeting is for adults only.”

“It’s a family meeting and I’m staying!” Jack yelled.

Ian laughed and offered his arms out to his son. Jack run over and hugged him. “I love you, Dad,” the boy whispered into his father’s ear.

There was silence for a moment, then Michael spoke up. “They also need crab fishermen in Alaska.”

“This is how it’s going to go,” Ian said. He sat back and put his hands behind his neck. “We’re going to cut expenses, radically. All of the gaming subscriptions are gone. I’m cutting them all now.”

“But, Dad, I need—” Michael started.

Ian fixed his glare on him. “Everyone who is staying at this house will abide by these rules.”

Candy let out an exasperated sigh. “Dear, you can’t just—”

“Yes, I can, and I will. This is how it will go. We’re cutting expenses, we’re—”

“But I’m in charge of expenses,” Candy said.

“Not anymore. I want all the papers and account access,” Ian said. His heart trembled but his gaze was steady and firm.

Candy stared at him, her face slack and her eyes distant. She shook her head.

“There will be no more ordering of food. Candy, you will prepare a sensible shopping list and cook healthy food for us three times per day.”

Candy’s lip curled. “No,” she said in a small voice.

“Kids, your allowances are stopped—”

“No, Daddy! Just no!” Stacy yelled.

Michael stared at him in silence, his chest heaving up and down. “You’re not in charge here. You’re just one member of this family. There are five of us.”

“Six if you count Uncle Larry,” said Stacy, her hand on her hip.

“Uncle Larry is not actually anyone’s uncle,” Ian said. “Now—”

“This is bullshit. I’m leaving,” said Michael.

“I’m just doing the rational thing, Michael. I am trying to save this family.”

“This is about your ego. You just want to control us.”

“How can you say that? I have always let your mother take care of our home.”

“Maybe you should continue.”

Candy spoke up. “If your father wants to be a househusband, it’s okay with me. He can cook and clean and pay the bills. It’s okay with me.”

“We should all chip in,” said Jack.

“We may have to move to a smaller apartment,” Ian said.

“That’s it!” Candy yelled. “That’s where I draw the line!”

Ian shrugged.

“Why don’t you sell a kidney? I know a place where they pay top dollar.”

“Mom!” Jack yelled.

The front door swung open with a bang. “Hey, kids! It’s Uncle Larry, with some presents!” Larry stepped in carrying shopping bags and wearing what was obviously a new leather jacket.

Stacy ran up to him, her steps high and excited. She grabbed his arm and rubbed her hand against the coat. “Is it real leather?”

Larry put his arm around her waist and pulled her to him. His hand hovered above her butt cheek. Ian couldn’t tell if it was touching or not. “Well, of course, darling,” said Larry. “Someday I’ll get you one just like it. Nothing but the best for you, baby.” He let Stacy go and she giggled.

“Our family meeting is not over,” Jack said in a loud voice. “Hey!” None of them looked back at him and so he looked at his father, an expression of helplessness on his face. “I tried,” he whispered.

Ian motioned to him and the boy threw himself onto his father’s lap. “They’re different,” Ian said. “It’s okay. We’ll always have each other, you and I. Isn’t that right?”

“I don’t want you to die,” Jack whispered and his eyes puffed up.

A wave of tenderness came over Ian. It was not a common feeling for him and it felt unusual and dangerous to feel it right now, in front of these people - in front of everyone but Jack. “Listen—”

Larry appeared in front of them. Ian, surprised, stood up and offered him his hand. Larry offered a thin smile, then sat down on the couch where Ian had been sitting. Stacy ran over and sat on his lap.

“Ian, buddy, why don’t you offer your guest a beer,” Larry said without taking his eyes off of Stacy’s chest.

Stacy giggled, then looked up at her father. “Well, come on, Dad. Larry is our guest.”

Jack looked up at his father, his face pure outrage.

Ian rubbed his son gently on the back and shook his head. He stood by and watched. He wanted to drink it all in.
Just what are they playing at?

“Oh, I’ll get that!” said Candy from the kitchen. Ian watched as she hastily grabbed the last remaining can of Schlitz from the back of the refrigerator, popped its tab and poured it into a fresh glass. She poured too fast and the head filled the glass up before she could empty the whole can. She brought it to Larry anyway.

“That’s some good head there, Candy,” he said with a grin.

Candy giggled and took a seat next to him. She turned her body halfway towards him until her knees touched his thigh. “There’s more where that came from.”

“Mom! That’s disgusting!” Stacy yelled.

“Go to your room, little girl!” Candy said in an unusually calm voice.

“Ladies, ladies, there is enough of me to go around,” Larry said with a laugh. “Let’s all take it easy. Ian, why don’t you take a seat? We have something to talk about.”

Ian narrowed his eyes.

Jack pulled on his dad’s arm. “Let’s go play.”

Ian nodded and they walked towards Jack’s room.

“How’s that new job, Ian? What’s it gonna be? Window washer or crab fisherman?” Larry asked. One arm was around his daughter and the other lay just above his wife’s shoulders.

Jack pulled at his arm.

“Don’t worry about—” Ian started.

“How about as my own personal assistant at the Department of Robots, Basic Income Administration, Washington, D.C.?” Larry brought his left hand down and placed it squarely on Stacy’s butt cheek. Ian swore he saw him flex the hand. The other he brought down over Candy’s chest and rested on her breast.

Ian felt his face heating up.

Candy turned and faced Larry. “You got a new job? In Washington?”

Larry nodded without looking at her.

“Congratulations, Uncle Larry,” Stacy said. “That’s great news!”

“Why don’t you have a beer,” Larry said to Ian, “and we’ll have a chat.”

“Oh, that was the last one,” Candy said. She inched closer to Larry.

Do they realize how foolish they are, all jockeying for position around Larry? How quick they are to abandon ship - all but my good Jack.

“It’s nine-to-five hours, better than you were making at the El, you get to work under me and you’ll pick up a thing or two about robotics,” said Larry.

“My dad is an expert on robotics,” said Jack. “He studied it in college. He should be your boss.”

Ian suppressed a smile.

“I’ll—” Ian started.

“You can think about it,” said Larry, “but I’ll need to know by tomorrow morning. It’s a good job and it’ll go fast.”

“He’ll take it,” Candy said.

Larry laughed. “Best to listen to the little woman. Happy wife, happy life, right?” He squeezed her breast and pulled her closer.

“He’s not interested in your job! He’s going to design robots!” said Jack. “Come on, Dad, let’s go save the world!”

“Now, hold on, Jack,” Ian said.

Jack looked up at him, startled. “But, Dad,” he whispered.

“I will let you know my decision tomorrow, Larry.” He turned and walked out the door.

Jack trailed along behind him, begging him to play with him.

“I just want to spend some quiet time with you,” Ian said to Jack. They sat on the couch in the early morning haze. Michael, Stacy and Candy were all passed out next to each other on the floor.

“Why do they do that?” Jack asked.

“What?” Ian asked. He slouched down on the old couch and tried to find a comfortable position. He sat back up again.

“You know!” Jack loud-whispered.

“Oh, the pills and the, uh…”

“Yeah!”

They’re lazy. Depressed.
The possibilities ran through his head but in reality he had no idea. “It’s hard for them,” he said.

“Will it be hard for me?” Jack asked.

Damn. That one came back fast.
“You’re more like me, don’t you think? I don’t need that stuff.”

Jack nodded. “We’re different from them.”

“That’s right, but like them, too. It’s complicated.”

Jack frowned and shook his head. “No, I don’t get it.”

Ian laughed. “Don’t worry about it.”

“But I need to understand.”

“Let’s talk about something else.”

Jack sighed. “Fine. When are you going to start working on your robotics stuff again?

“I was actually hoping to rest up a few more days. Then I guess I’ll start working with Larry again.”

“But you said you hated working with him. He’s a jerk.”

“Did I say that? No, I couldn’t have.”

“Dad, he’s a jerk! He comes over here and puts his hands all over Mom and Stacy.”

“What? Don’t say that. He’s just… being friendly.”

Jack crossed his arms and scowled. “You know that’s not—”

“Listen. These are big people issues. You’re only nine. You shouldn’t be worrying about stuff like this. Let me worry about it, okay?”

Jack smiled. “I’ll let that go if you show me your old robots and we start working on a new one.”

“I don’t know, kiddo. It’s a long shot. We need money now. Or we’ll lose this place.”

“Come on, Dad. You have today. You can spend today on it. What else do you have to do today?”

Ian opened his mouth to protest but Jack ran out of the room and quickly returned with a dusty box. Jack dropped the box on the floor in front of his dad, opened it and pulled out a series of black creatures in various shapes and sizes.

“Your old robots,” Jack said. He handed a crab-like, matte black robot the size of his hand to his dad. “Your old multi-tool is in here, too.”

Ian turned the robot over in his hands and rubbed his fingers against the rough, 3D-printed shell. The heavy, burnt smell brought him back to the lab at the University of Chicago.
I loved that work.
He gripped the item in his hand and felt the thrill of discovery and invention again, of the power in his chosen discipline. “The field has changed too much since then,” he said.

“You’re smart, Dad. You can catch up,” Jack said.

Candy got up, took off her goggles and eyed the two of them. “Really? Those old toys? When are you going to grow up?” she said to Ian.

“They’re not toys,” Jack said.

Candy projected a haughty laugh in the boy’s direction.

Jack’s face darkened. “He can do it if he wants. You can do anything, if you want it badly enough.” He looked to his father for support.

Candy bent forward and laughed harder. “The crazy ideas you put in that boy’s head,” she said to Ian.

“They’re not crazy!” Jack walked up to her and put his finger in her face. “Tell the truth!”

She stopped laughing and slapped the boy hard across the face.

Jack held his breath, looked at his father.

“That was uncalled for, Candy, don’t you think?” Ian asked her.

“No,” she said, finally taking her eyes off of Jack and heading for the kitchen. “It’s long overdue. And there’s something else that’s overdue. I’m calling Larry and you’re accepting that job. You know you’re not getting anything else in this job market. Nothing that pays nearly as well. Nothing that a washed up old bag like you would qualify for.” She took her mobile screen out of a kitchen drawer, unrolled it and tapped it quickly.

“I hate you!” Jack yelled and ran out of the room. He slammed the door to his room behind him.

“I haven’t made my decision,” Ian said.

“Oh yes, you have. It’s ringing.” She held it out in his direction and lifted her eyebrows in a manner that made Ian want to punch her in the face over and over again.

Jack appeared in the living room. “Sorry, Dad.”

Ian smiled at him. “What for?”

Jack looked at the floor.

“What about me, you little brat? What about my apology,” Candy said to Jack, the screen still ringing in her hand. “Hmm?”

“Jack,” Ian said. “Just don’t respond. Let it go.”

“But I hate her!” He ran to his room and slammed the door again.

Ian sat back and crossed his arms.
When will I escape this? I’m about ready to go to work digging ditches. Maybe self-employed. I’m about ready to jump out of this window.

“Hey there— No, not right— Someone wants to speak with you.” She walked over to Ian, that look on her face again: you better do what I tell you, or else. And Ian knew what that else was: the silent treatment, nasty looks, snide comments and, inevitably, physical violence. He had a new one to add to the list: proxy-punish him through Jack. That was the worst one.

“Well?” she said. She tapped the screen.

“Ready to come back to reality, buddy?” Larry’s voice echoed throughout the tiny living room.

Ian stood up, smiled at his wife and took the screen. He walked to the square picture window, pushed open the side window and tossed the screen out of their twenty-third floor window.

***

“Be there tomorrow at 7 AM,” Larry said. He stood in the doorway of the master bedroom and looked down on Ian.

Ian lay on his bed, his hands behind his neck, deep in thought, his eyes closed, a delicate Bach violin sonata playing from his screen on the nightstand.

Larry cleared his throat. “We can drive down together, tonight.”

Ian lay still on the bed, his mind deep into robotics. He needed a practical idea. Something that would actually be useful to people, that could fit into their daily rhythms. Not just a prototype but something that will work. What about the software though?

“Did you hear me—” Larry started.

“How dare you!” Candy appeared in the doorway and Ian pried open an eye to catch her expression. There was more worry than anger there. He chuckled inwardly. “Larry drove all the way up here at my request to take you down and get you situated in the only job that is going to provide for your family for the foreseeable future.”