Pir-E-Kamil: The Perfect Mentor (57 page)

There was still a week to go before Salar left for the United States. Usman Sikandar decided to keep a strict eye on all his movements. Without his knowing it, Salar was continuously watched for the last week of his stay in Pakistan. All his phone calls were monitored and the servants were instructed not to let any calls through to him no matter who had called. The maid was strictly warned not to let Salar know that Imama had called. When Salar left for America a week later, Usman Sikandar breathed a sigh of relief. The danger had passed.

On her return to Lahore, Imama sold the cell phone (since there was no way she could now return this to Salar). To the cash she received she added some more money to cover the costs of the phone bills she would have incurred two and a half years ago, plus the amount Salar must have spent on her, driving her to Lahore and other miscellaneous costs. All this cash she posted to Usman Sikandar in Islamabad along with a short note explaining why she was sending the money; thus she paid off any money she may have owed Salar and put herself out of an obligation to him.

Usman Sikandar was relieved at receiving the small packet. It convinced him that Imama was cutting off all ties with him and also that she did not doubt his story.

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On finishing her B.Sc. Imama returned to Lahore from Multan. It was now three years since she had left home. She was convinced that the search for her was now not as intense as it may have been some years previously. At the most her family would still be watching medical colleges. Her assumption was correct. Although more sure of herself now she did not lower her vigilance. She took admission in the Punjab University in the Chemistry Department and registered for her M.Sc. In Multan, she had only worn a chador to and from college, but now she took to wearing a veil which covered her face too. After all, this was Lahore and somebody could recognize her.

On her return to Lahore she did not take stay with Dr Sibt-e-Ali; instead she started living with Saeeda Amma.

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Dr Sibt-e-Ali had introduced Imama to Saeeda Amma before she went to Multan. The reason was that Saeeda Amma had many relatives living in Multan and Dr Sibt-e-Ali felt that Imama would be able to contact them in any emergency.

An extremely garrulous and active woman of about 65 to 70 years of age, Saeeda Amma lived alone in a large house in the inner city of Lahore. She had been widowed some years earlier. Both her sons had gone abroad to study and on completing their education, they had married and opted to live abroad. Numerous attempts to persuade their mother to shift in with them had failed and now the sons took turns to visit her each year and be with her for some time. Saeeda Amma was related to Dr Sibt-e-Ali in that she was a cousin.

Before bringing Imama over Dr Sibt-e-Ali had told her all about Imama. Saeeda Amma greeted her warmly when she came and proceeded to tell her in great detail about each and every relative present in Multan. And as if that was not enough she even volunteered to accompany Imama to Multan and drop her off at her college—an offer that Dr Sibt-e-Ali refused, gently but firmly.

'No, sister, that will be too much trouble,' he said.

'Perhaps a better idea would be for Imama to stay with one of my brothers.' Saeeda Amma was beginning to doubt the advantages of being in a hostel. 'She will be well looked after there and will have all comforts of a home life.' She began to recount the many problems and discomforts Imama would have to face in a hostel. Imama was relieved when Dr Sibt-e-Ali remained firm in his stance regarding the hostel. Imama herself felt that was the best option.

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Her next meeting with Saeeda Amma was in Multan in the hostel she was staying in. She had been at there for a couple of months when was told a lady had come to see her. Imama went numb with fear. Who could have come to meet her and that too a woman? She was surprised to see Saeeda Amma waiting for her in the meeting area. Saeeda Amma greeted her with the same warmth and kindness she had shown her in Lahore. She was on a fortnight's stay in Multan to catch up with her relatives there; and in those two weeks she often came to see Imama. On one occasion she even took Imama to see her brother and his family at their house.

This then became the routine. Every few months Saeeda Amma would visit Multan and would come and see Imama in the hostel. When Imama would go to Lahore on her monthly visit she too would pay a visit to Saeeda Amma's. If she was on a longer stay she would, on Saeeda Amma's insistence, sometimes stay overnight at her place. Imama loved the old brick house Saeeda Amma lived in. Without verbalizing it, the two felt at peace with each other because both suffered from the same sense of loneliness although Saeeda Amma, unlike Imama, had friends and neighbors to temporarily alleviate this feeling. Because of her own situation, Saeeda Amma could empathize with Imama. Once Imama confided in her that she planned to do her M.Sc. from Lahore, Saeeda Amma began persuading her to come and live with her when she returned to Lahore.

It was around this time that Dr Sibt-e-Ali's eldest daughter shifted back to her father's house. Dr Sibt-e-Ali's son-in-law, who was also his nephew, was going abroad to complete his PhD. It was decided that for the time he would be abroad his wife and children were to stay with Dr Sibt-e-Ali. Although Dr Sibt-e-Ali's house was big enough to accommodate all, Imama felt uncomfortable staying on. In any case she was already far too indebted to Dr Sibt-e-Ali for all his kindness and she wanted to stand on her own feet as soon as it was possible. If she continued staying with Dr Sibt-e-Ali, he would insist on paying for her education and would probably also continue supporting her even after she started working. Living with him she would never be able to assert herself. An independent life was the best solution, she felt. And living with Saeeda Amma would suit her perfectly. Once she got a job she would also be able to insist on paying a small rent to Saeeda Amma—a thing Dr Sibt-e-Ali would never agree to if she continued living in his house.

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For Dr Sibt-e-Ali, her decision to move out came as a shock.

'Why Amina? Why will you not stay in my house?

'Saeeda Amma insists I stay with her.'

'I'll speak to her.'

'No, that is not it. I wish to stay with her. If I live with her she will not be so lonely'

'That is no reason. You can visit her every day if you like. Why must you stay there?'

'Please, let me stay there. I will be happier doing so. I wish to start becoming independent,' Imama pleaded.

'I do not understand what you mean by that,' Dr Sibt-e-Ali replied.

'I do not wish to be a burden on you. As it is I owe you so much. I don't wish to be indebted all my life...' Imama's voice trailed away. She realized she had hurt Dr Sibt-e-Ali with her words. She regretted them.

'I have never thought of you as a burden Amina. Never. Daughters are never a burden and for me you are my daughter...what you say has hurt me very much.'

'I am sorry Abu. That is not what I meant. I was just expressing my feelings. Being dependent on someone is a painful reality. Living with Saeeda Amma will give me peace of mind. I'll pay for stay. That I cannot ever do with you. I owe you so much that if I were to live ten lifetimes I would not be able to repay you for all you have done for me. But now...for now...I wish to learn how to live life on my own. Please let me do so...'

Dr Sibt-e-Ali did not insist any further. For this too Imama was grateful to him.

For Imama living with Saeeda Amma was starting life all over again. This was not the same as living with Dr Sibt-e-Ali and his family; nor was it the same as living in the hostel. She felt a strange sense of happiness and independence for the first time in her life.

Saeeda Amma lived by herself. She had a maid who would come in the mornings and do the housework and leave by evening. She had a large social circle and was often out meeting friends and relatives and also receiving many visitors of her own. She introduced Imama to everyone as her sister's daughter. As time passed, she began referring to her as her daughter. So while her old acquaintances knew Imama as Saeeda Amma's niece her newer friends all thought she was her daughter. Nobody gave the relationship much thought. They all knew what a loving heart Saeeda Amma had. Her sons and their families too began to accept Imama as part of the family and every time they called Saeeda Amma they would also talk to Imama. When they would come to Lahore on their annual vacation, they would treat Imama as a sister and Imama too began to feel she was part of the family; she would often feel that she was in reality Saeeda Amma's daughter, a sister to her sons, and an aunt to their children.

Once she completed her M.Sc. at the Punjab University, Dr Sibt-e-Ali helped get her a job with a pharmaceutical company. It was a good job and for the first time in her life, Imama was financially independent. This was not the life she had lived in her parent's house; nor was this the life she had once envisaged in her dreams; but it was not also the nightmare she had feared her life would become when she had fled her home all those years ago. She could not talk to anybody about it but she felt her life was a series of miracles. To have sought the help of a man like Salar Sikander...to have found sanctuary with Dr Sibt-e-Ali's family...to have found a new family with Saeeda Amma...to have completed her education...and now this job. The only regret in her life was Jalal Ansar. If she could have married him she would have considered herself the luckiest person on earth.

The eight years that had passed since her flight from home had transformed her completely. On leaving home she was well aware that she was losing the affection and devotion of loved ones; that she should have no expectations from anyone; that when people let her down she should not feel hurt or rejected. She had hardened in these years on her own; she no longer cried at the slightest hurt. She was no longer the Imama Hashim she had been at 20—timid and fearful; she was now more confident, more self assured. But these years of independence had taught her caution; she was now careful in her speech and careful about how she conducted herself.

She had received inestimable love from both Dr Sibt-e-Ali's and Saeeda Amma's families and she was very careful not to say or do anything that would upset them or cause them to scorn her. This is something she had never had to do living with her own family. Being discreet and tactful was a new trait she had learnt.

The day Saeeda Amma disappeared Imama was at work. The house was locked when she got home. This was not worrying since Saeeda Amma, being as social as she was often out visiting when she got home. Imama unlocked the door and went in. This was around four in the evening. But when the late evening call for prayers was sounded from the mosque, Imama began to worry. It was Saeeda Amma's habit to come home by sundown. Imama went to the neighbour's house to inquire. She was told the neighbour's son had accompanied Saeeda Amma to Bilal's house. Since Imama was well acquainted with Bilal's family she rang them up to ask about Saeeda Amma. She was told that Saeeda Amma had come but that she had left around noon. She rang up all her neighbors and friends to find out where she could be. She drew a blank everywhere; now she was really worried. She rang up Dr Sibt-e-Ali and told him that Saeeda Amma was missing.

What really caused her worry was that Saeeda Amma was completely unfamiliar with the city. She was used to her own neighborhood and the confines of the inner city; but once out of familiar surroundings, she was lost. If she wanted to go outside her neighborhood she would ask either one of the neighborhood boys or Imama to take her.

Salar, on the other hand knew the entire city of Lahore with the exception of the inner city. Had he even some idea of the inner city, he would have been able to help Saeeda Amma home despite her vague directions.

It was late in the night when Dr Sibt-e-Ali rang up Imama to tell her that

Saeeda Amma had been traced through an acquaintance and that she would be home soon. Imama breathed a sigh of relief.

An hour later when the bell rang, Imama went rushing to the door. She opened the door. A good looking man greeted her and turning around said goodbye to Saeeda Amma who was standing behind him. She hardly noticed the other tall man, with his back to her. The two men walked away as Imama hugged Saeeda Amma fervently.

The next few days Saeeda Amma spoke often of the two young men who had come to her aid—Furqan and Salar. Imama did not connect Salar with Salar Sikandar. Dead men do not come back. In any case, Salar Sikandar was not the type to aid anyone nor did he have any of those glowing qualities that Saeeda Amma was so enthusiastically extolling.

A few days later Furqan came with his wife to visit Saeeda Amma. Imama got to meet him for the first time. She liked both Furqan and his wife. Over the next few months the two would often come over and they became quite good friends.

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It was now two years since Imama had been working. Perhaps life would have continued like this, had she not one day passed a street on which Dr Jalal Ansar had built his hospital. His name was emblazoned on the outside. Imama stopped involuntary. She stood there for a while looking at his name, then she determinedly walked away. She promised herself that she would never come down this street again. Jalal was married; that she had learnt when she left her house. She did not want to ever be a part of his life again. But as fate would have it, this decision was not to be a lasting one.

A fortnight later she bumped into Rabia while at work. Rabia was there on an errand. Seeing her standing before her, Imama fell into confusion. She did not know whether to greet her or not. Rabia solved her problem.

Embracing her warmly she said, 'Imama where have you been? Your disappearance created quite a stir both in the college and in the hostel.'

Imama smiled weakly. 'I left home; why I did so must be known to you.' Imama did not wish to elaborate.

'Yes, I have an idea why you left but I have not discussed it with anyone. We really got into trouble when you disappeared. Me, Javeria, Zainab...the police really grilled us but we had no idea where you were. There were many rumors though about you and much gossip in the hostel and the college.'