Pisces: From Behind That Locked Door (7 page)

There was no sign of the other man anywhere when he arrived, much to Jay's disappointment and relief. It was getting complicated, the way all of his emotions just sprung to the surface and mingled in perplexing ways whenever he thought about Stephen. Maybe inhabiting the middle ground between terror and joy was just the state they described as love. Maybe love had nothing to do with happiness and everything to do with walking the fine line between holding somebody close and fleeing as far and as fast as possible from that person. Either way, Jay spent the first hour of his shift debating what he should say to Stephen, how he should say it, when he should say it, and if he should be smiling or not. He tried to reassure himself that there didn't have to be any difference in the way they interacted, but Jay already felt a difference--a big one--before Stephen even returned.

When he walked through the door, Jay might have heard a heavenly chorus. In that moment, Jay understood all the overwrought Victorian poetry he'd always been so partial to. His heart leapt in his throat when Stephen smiled at him. It wasn't just a casual greeting. It wasn't the sort of smile he bestowed on anybody else hanging out in the room. It was personal and pleased and clearly meant for Jay. He was happy to see Jay. As far as Jay knew, nobody ever looked forward to seeing him. Nobody had ever smiled at him like that, as though their entire day had turned around because Jay was present. And to think he had that sort of affect on Stephen... it just didn't seem possible.

"Jay, can you step into my office for a second? I needed to go over this week's schedule with you."

It wasn't a very good excuse. Jay had nothing to do with scheduling decisions, unless he couldn't cover the shifts he'd volunteered for. But nobody else seemed to notice when Jay used the terrible excuse to get up and follow Stephen into his office. He tried to train his features so he didn't look too much like an eager puppy dog. He didn't necessarily want Stephen to know that he inspired such strong emotions in Jay. He especially didn't want Stephen to know that he was both terrified and ecstatic, shy and so eager to touch Stephen that his fingers were already trembling. Just being near him was an intoxicating form of torture, the pain nourishing the pleasure, creating a heady cocktail. He wanted to reach for Stephen, but he waited, afraid that maybe he'd misunderstood the situation and Stephen really did want to discuss the schedule.

Stephen reached behind him and pushed the lock on the door. Jay might have been unsure and shy, but he didn't need a more explicit invitation than that. Stephen never locked his door. He took Stephen by the shoulder and forgot to be afraid, pushing him back against the desk and kissing him desperately. Stephen grunted and parted his lips, his tongue diving into Jay's mouth with unmistakable hunger. Jay felt his confidence growing by the second--as well as his desire and his cock. He pushed his hands through Stephen's hair, sighing with pleasure at the silky softness, plunged his tongue into Stephen's mouth, gripped him by the hip and pulled him closer, sought out every inch of bare skin he could reach. Stephen didn't resist him. He was pliant, responding to Jay's touch and his hard kisses, settling comfortably between Jay's body and the edge of his desk.

"I thought you'd tell me no," Stephen said against his mouth.

"Why?"

"Because you beat a hasty retreat on Saturday."

"I really had to read." Did he even read a single word on Saturday? He couldn't remember. He'd once been so focused, so good at remembering things, but now if he wasn't specifically thinking of Stephen, everything felt clouded and vague. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize. God, Jay, you have no idea how good it feels to... I've been dying from loneliness."

The reference to why Jay was even there to begin with wasn't quite an icy bucket of water, but it did act as a reminder that he needed to focus on Stephen's desires and not his own--though a part of Jay wondered why Stephen chose him specifically to take care of that loneliness. Maybe he figured Jay would just be happy to get what scraps he could get while Stephen kept his options open? Well, if that was the case, Stephen wasn't wrong. Jay was very happy to accept the scraps if it meant he didn't have to rely on his imagination for a little while at least.

Jay didn't hesitate to tug Stephen's pants open, even though it wasn't very professional and somebody could knock on the door at any time. He didn't want to put Stephen at risk for losing his job, but he figured if that really was a possibility, Stephen would stop him.

"Can you sit on the desk?" Jay asked.

Stephen nodded, perching on the edge and leaning back to support himself on one hand. Now Jay had the chance to actually see Stephen's length, he didn't want to look away. He swiped his thumb over the red crown, his mouth watering at the sight of the pre-come gleaming under the yellow lights. Jay fisted his length and bent his head, inhaling sharply. The smell was heady and rich, much stronger than the faint whisper that had lingered on Jay's fingers on Saturday. Jay filled his head with the musk and then took another deep breath, feeling like he might drown in it. He knew he'd never forget the scent or this moment. Stephen's fingers twisted in his short hair, and he looked up through his lashes to see Stephen staring at him, lips parted and swollen from their hard kisses, cheeks red.

"Should we... do this here?" Jay asked, making one final effort at being a responsible adult.

"We don't have to," Stephen said hoarsely. "You can stop if... if you'd rather not."

"I don't want to stop," Jay assured him with complete honesty. He didn't know if Stephen meant for things to proceed so quickly or if he was revealing himself to be an overeager virgin, but he couldn't just be happy with kissing. He was too desperate. He wanted for too long, and couldn't take a single second for granted. He dipped his head again and blew a stream of air over the slick head, the hard flesh jerking in response. Taking a deep breath, Jay let his tongue slip between his lips and dance over the smooth skin. The texture made him whimper, and the taste felt like a thousand tiny explosions on his tongue. It was salty and bitter at the same time, musky like Stephen's scent, and it seemed sweet to him. One taste wasn't enough. He dragged his tongue over the swollen flesh again and again, lingering between each slow lap, rubbing the flat of his tongue right over the slit. Pre-come dripped into Jay's mouth, and he had to follow the drops that escaped him. He sucked the tip between his lips, then moved lower and lower, taking inch after lovely inch into his mouth.

"God, Jay... you don't have to... oh fuck... "

Jay knew he didn't have to, but he sure as hell wanted to. He relaxed his jaw and swallowed as much of Stephen as he could, moving the ring of his lips nearly to the base of Stephen's shaft before he had to stop. He loved the weight against his tongue, loved how it felt when the top slid over the roof of his mouth. He was careful not to let his teeth catch on the sensitive skin. He hollowed his cheeks, sucking until Stephen groaned and dropped his head back. His fingers still worked through Jay's hair, alternately twisting the strands and then smoothing them down. Jay angled his head so he could take even more of the shaft, wishing he could take Stephen all the way down his throat.

He couldn't quite make it, though he did try. As soon as Stephen's crown brushed the back of his throat, it triggered his gag reflex. He pulled away, swirled his tongue around Stephen's crown until he licked the salty liquid away from his skin, and then moved back down his shaft. Jay made up for the fact that he couldn't take every bit by fisting Stephen's base and moving his wrist in time with his mouth. Jay closed his eyes, shutting out everything that wasn't directly related to Stephen's cock. All that mattered was the thin, heated skin, the throbbing muscle, the smooth liquid flowing over the back of his tongue, and Stephen's tiny, encouraging whimpers.

Jay wished this could be his job. He would dedicate every waking second to pleasing Stephen, and that would be its own reward. He wouldn't make any money, but he wasn't making any money now and he was really beginning to resent the way school cut into his time with Stephen. Whenever Stephen wanted or needed something, he would only have to ask, until Jay learned all his needs. And then he wouldn't even have to bother with vocalizing his desires, Jay would simply anticipate them. As impractical as the thought was, it refused to dislodge itself from his brain. Jay had no choice but to give in and indulge the fantasy while he moved his mouth in a faster rhythm, sucking harder with each downward stroke.

"God, your mouth... I can't even... don't stop. Just don't stop," Stephen whispered, each word sending a new shiver down Jay's spine. He'd never heard Stephen quite like this. He always spoke with an easy control, but now his voice was tight and his throat sounded sore. It gave Jay hope that Stephen would at least want a repeat performance. Maybe that evening after they went to the gym? Maybe in the locker room? They could both fit in one of the bathroom stalls. Jay would find a way to make it work if it meant getting his mouth around Stephen's cock again. Or maybe back at Stephen's place? The fact that he had a futon for a bed would make it easier for Jay to escape after Stephen finished, and that way he could prolong this for one more night.

"Jay... I'm close... you should... you can... stop if you want."

He was not going to stop. He would take a mouthful of come. But he was not going to stop. He wasn't going to let one second of their time together go to waste. What if Stephen didn't want him to do this again? Then he would probably regret not swallowing his come when he had the chance. He tightened his grip on Stephen's shaft and moved faster. He was rewarded for the extra effort within seconds, Stephen biting the back of his hand while his hips shot forward. The salty liquid flooded his mouth, and it was all Jay could do to force himself to swallow, the temperature and texture both striking him as something quite unpleasant, even though the flavor didn't bother him. He could get used to it, though. If he had to. If Stephen would give him the chance.

Jay let his mouth linger on Stephen's cock even though his back was starting to ache from his awkward angle. He licked at the skin, cleaning it of the last of the sticky fluid, and tried to compose himself. His groin was so tight that it almost brought tears to eyes. Jay had never in his life suffered from such a case of blue balls. It made Saturday's pain seem like a slightly uncomfortable twinge in comparison. How he was going to walk out of that room and sit at his desk like everything was perfectly normal, he didn't know. It would probably be the hardest thing he'd ever done in his life.

"I better get out there before anybody misses me," Jay said, straightening.

"I think you're safe for a few more minutes."

Jay shook his head. "There's nobody out there to answer the phone."

"The phone's not ringing."

"I meant, in case it does."

Stephen stood and zipped his pants. "I think people might notice if you go out there like that."

Jay looked down, not surprised to see his pants tented so far in front of him. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had an erection like that. All he wanted to do was unzip his pants and steal a few seconds of relief. His hand unconsciously drifted to his fly, and Stephen's eyes widened slightly. He stilled, dropped his hand again, realized he would have to be a completely different person to do that. Even if the alternative was to deal with a huge, painful boner.

"It's not too far to my desk," Jay muttered. "I should be okay."

"Jay... "

"Yeah?"

"Are we going to the gym tonight?"

"I planned on it." He even brought his gym clothes.

"Good. I might be a little bit late because I have a phone call at four-thirty. Wait for me?"

"Yeah, no problem."

"Are you sure you don't want to let me take care of that?" Stephen asked.

Jay nodded. He appreciated the offer more than Stephen could know. He wished he could just explain to him that he didn't have to worry about it. "I'm sure."

He checked both ways when he opened the door, relieved to see that the room was mostly empty. He was able to slip over to his desk without attracting any attention, but no amount of adjusting himself beneath the desk could ease the pain in his groin. Jay wondered how many times they could do this before he drove himself insane. At least nobody ever actually died from blue balls, although Jay fully understood why teenage boys believed they might. Anything that hurt like this must be terminal.

Jay didn't have the chance to blow Stephen at the gym, much to their joint disappointment. The weight room wasn't exactly the chamber of horrors that Jay remembered, especially when it was his turn to spot Stephen and he didn't have to worry about Stephen catching him staring. Given how eager he was to do unspeakable things to Stephen's body, he thought he could deal with Jay openly appreciating his body. And he did appreciate it. A great deal. He couldn't believe that Stephen hadn't been born with that perfect physique.

When their hour was finally up, Stephen followed him into the locker room, chattering about the best way to lift weights and the different theories about how the human body responded to that sort of exercise. Jay did his best to listen politely, despite his impatience to get out of the damp, itchy sweats. Finally, he had no choice but to leave Stephen in mid-sentence and mid-strip, grabbing his clothes and ducking into what he was beginning to think of as
his
stall.

Stephen was waiting for him when he emerged, a thoughtful look on his face. "So if I invite you out to the movies, are you going to tell me you have to read the collected works of Shakespeare by tomorrow morning?"

Jay grinned. "No. What were you thinking?"

"I think
The Other Guys
is still playing at Brewvies. If we had head over there now, it'll probably still be pretty quiet. We could have most of the theater to ourselves."

Jay had no quibbles with that plan. "We could get dinner there, too. The food isn't great, but it's edible."