Place Of Her Own (15 page)

“I hope so.” Shelton shifted in his seat, then mustered up the most casual voice he could. “Have you seen Father?”

“Not since this morning. He said he had some business in town.”

This was getting to be a habit. His father had been going to Creelsboro every day for weeks, but he hadn’t come back with a job or any legitimate-sounding explanation of what he’d been doing there. One time Shelton smelled alcohol on his father’s breath, but Hiram passed it off as having brushed up against a man with an open flask. Back in Hazel Greene his father would have an occasional drink. But as far as Shelton knew, he drank in moderation and only during social visits.

Concerned that his father might be gambling again, he rode Kehoe to Creelsboro.

Near town, he saw a horse with a sickly looking rider on it. A woman walked beside the horse. With a start, he recognized her face. “Katherine?”

“Shelton! Thank God you’re here.”

He got a good look at the man bent over the saddle horn.

“Father?”

“He was kicked out of the saloon,” Katherine explained. “I’m afraid he’s not doing well.”

Shelton dismounted. He came up beside Katherine’s horse and took the reigns. “Father, are you all right?”

Hiram leaned off the other side of the horse and vomited.

“Do you know what happened?” he asked Katherine.

“His breath reeks of liquor. But my mother didn’t get this sick when she drank. Is he used to alcohol?”

“I’ve never known him to be a heavy drinker.”

“Don’t be talkin’ ‘bout me as if I wasn’t here,” Hiram scolded, his words slurred.

“What happened, Father?”

“I got drunk.”

Shelton shared a look of frustration with Katherine.

“You still plannin’ on marryin’ that tramp?” Hiram sneered.

“You will not speak of Katherine that way.”

“I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout her. I mean the other one.” Hiram started to slide off the saddle.

Shelton caught his father and looked at Katherine, who was staring back at him, a huge question in her green eyes. “Later,” he told her.

He could see her nostrils flare.

“Ride Kehoe to my house and tell Mother I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

She nodded, mounted his horse, and left without saying a word.

He knew he should have told her sooner. Now his father had spilled his past in a drunken stupor. He walked beside the horse, steadying Hiram on the saddle.

After a couple of hours, his father’s words were less slurred, and he began to make sense.

“What happened, Dad?”

“I can’t say.”

Shelton balled his fists and slowly released them. “Have you been gambling again?” Hiram nodded.

“Wonderful. I move you to a new place to make a clean start, and this is the thanks I get? How many people do you owe now?”

“I’ll take care of my affairs, son. You can mind your own business.”

“You can’t take care of anything. How are you planning to pay your debts?”

Hiram coughed, then vomited again.

“Mother’s going to love seeing you like this,” Shelton quipped.

“Don’t tell her.”

“There’s no way to keep this from her.”

“I beg you, please don’t tell your mother. She’ll leave me for sure. You don’t know how bad things were in Hazel Greene. How bad they still are between us. She hardly speaks to me. Please, you can’t tell her.”

“Dad, it isn’t a question of my telling her. You need to be honest with your wife. About your insecurities, your failures, everything.”

“Like you’ve been with that wench.” Hiram spat. “Don’t you ever speak about her like that again. Or so help me, I’ll …”

“You ain’t got the guts.”

Shelton curled his fingers into a fist.

“Go ahead, hit me. I dare you.”

Shelton relaxed his hand. “No. I won’t hit a man when he’s down. You have a decision to make, Dad. Either you change or I’m kicking you out of my house.”

“You can’t do that!”

“Can’t I? You’re living on my land, Dad. My property. You have nothing left.”

“You can’t treat me like a child. I’m your father.” Hiram slurred.

“You have three days to make your decision, Dad.”

They traveled the rest of the way in silence.

Shelton helped his father down from the horse. Hiram wobbled a couple of steps, then fell to the ground.

“Shelton!” his mother shrieked as she ran to them from the porch. “What happened?”

“He has a serious problem, Mom. And it goes beyond gambling. I gave him three days to make a decision to change. If he doesn’t, I’m kicking him out. You can stay if you want.”

Shelton mounted Katherine’s horse and headed to Grandma Mac’s house.

Katherine paced in her room. Hiram Greene’s comment made her question everything Shelton had ever said to her. Apparently, he wanted to marry someone else. Katherine held her sides and tried to brace herself for the truth.

Was Hiram confused because he was drunk? Did she look so different that he was thinking of her in the past? Maybe that was it.

She wouldn’t know until she spoke with Shelton. She didn’t want to confront the situation, but knew she had to.

She went to the kitchen to prepare for the evening meal. She found Grandma Mac there, putting on her heavy winter coat.

“I’ll be spending the evening with Mac and Pamela,” the older woman said. “Nash Jr. is coming to fetch me.” Nash Jr. was the oldest of Pamela and Mac’s children. At nine years of age, he was so proud to be old enough to drive the wagon by himself, he offered rides to anyone who wanted them.

Katherine took down a couple of the canned foods Grandma Mac had prepared earlier in the year. Her hand trembled and one of the jars crashed to the counter.

“Are you all right, dear?”

“I’m fine.”

Grandma Mac snickered. “If you’re fine, I’d hate to see what wonderful is like.”

“I’ll be okay. I just have to calm down.” “From what?”

Nash Jr. knocked on the door and came right in. “Hi, Grandma, I’m here.” He gave Katherine a slight bow. “Evenin’, Miss O’Leary.”

“Evenin’, Master Nash.” Katherine tilted her head slightly to the side and smiled. “Have a good night tonight. And don’t beat your Grandma too badly in checkers.”

Nash Jr. chuckled. “Grandma doesn’t allow me to win anymore. I have to win on my own now.”

“You’re too smart,” Grandma Mac chimed in. “You win about half the time. Next year I won’t be able to play with you at all.”

Grandma Mac and Nash said their good-byes and left her alone. She had craved solitude for so long, yet now that she had it, she wasn’t sure she liked it. She’d prefer to have someone in the house with her. It seemed more comfortable. “What’s wrong with me, Lord? I beg for my own place, and now I can’t stand being alone. Will I ever be normal?”

All in good time
, a gentle whisper spoke inside her head.

She wondered how Shelton was dealing with his father.

Will there ever come a day when his parents aren’t his first priority? When I am?

The door rattled in its jamb as a knock resounded through the house.

“Who is it?”

“Shelton. May I come in?”

She opened the door. He looked weary, beaten.

He stomped the dirt off his boots and came inside. “I’m sorry you found my father in such a state.”

“I’m glad I was there to take him home. Did he tell you what happened?”

“Not in words, but I’m certain he was gambling. Probably lost a lot of money he didn’t have and then drank too much.” Shelton took off his coat and sat on the sofa.

Katherine sat across from him in the rocking chair.

“Katherine, we need to talk about what my father said.”

She began to shake. She didn’t want to believe it was true. She couldn’t speak, so she gave a simple nod for him to continue.

He swallowed. “I’ve tried to tell you this a few times, but never found the right opportunity. Forgive me.” She nodded again.

“When my father sent me away at sixteen, I was very angry. While I was away from home, I took advantage of a young lady. She conceived.”

Katherine squeezed her eyes closed.
No, this can’t be. Not Shelton. He’s a gentleman.

“Father offered her family money to go away. They were so upset, they refused to listen to him or me. I was banned from ever seeing her again.”

Bile rose in her throat. Her head was telling her this wasn’t the man she wanted to marry. Her heart felt like it was tearing apart.

“A while later, I heard she lost the baby.” Tears edged her eyelids.

“I offered to marry her, but her family refused. So I snuck into her house one night, planning to take her to a preacher. The family found me and beat me. Someone pulled a knife—” He pulled up his shirt and pointed to a large scar under his right arm.

Her heart tightened. She wanted to reach out and touch him. She laced her fingers together, keeping her hands folded in her lap.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner?”

“I tried to. But I was afraid if you knew I’d been less than honorable in the past, you wouldn’t trust me.”

“You’re right. I wouldn’t have trusted you.” Sadness and anger swirled in her mind. This had to be a bad dream. “Did you love her?”

“No. That’s even more shameful. I used her. I’m not worthy of your love, Katherine. I’ve told you that before, but I don’t think you believed me. Now you know.”

“What else have you not told me?” She rocked back to get a better look at his face.

“Nothing. Well, I’m sure there are moments when I must have done other wrong things, but nothing so serious.”

After all this time thinking he was so perfect, hearing this about him sent myriad emotions coursing through her heart, all vying for supremacy. Anger quickly won. “I felt so dirty compared to you.”

Shelton hung his head. “I know. I’m sorry. You were innocent of what happened to you. I was the guilty person. But I also know of God’s redemptive power. He has forgiven me for my actions.” Shelton knelt before her. “Can you?”

She closed her eyes. Could she forgive him? Could she trust him?
If he lied about this … Well, he didn’t actually lie, he

just omitted this part of his past. But can I believe that there isn’t more to tell?
“I don’t know.”

Shelton’s hands shook. He stood, stared at her for a moment, then left the room in silence.

Katherine’s heart broke and she wept. The man she loved was not the man she thought he was.

Shelton split more logs than he had use for. Katherine had not spoken to him for three days. Today was the deadline for his father to decide if he was going to change his ways or pack his bags. Shelton found himself not caring what his father decided. Nothing mattered if Katherine wasn’t going to be a part of his life.

“Shelton?” his mother called from the back door of the kitchen.

“Be right there.” He swung the axe into the block and left it there. He grabbed his coat and walked back to the house.

Inside he found his mother and father sitting at the table. Parson Kincaid sat next to them. “Parson.” Shelton extended his hand. “What can I do for you?”

“I’m here at your parents’ request.”

Shelton took a seat.

“Shel,” his mother said, “your father and I want to stay.”

Shelton stared at his dad. “He knows my conditions.”

Hiram kept his gaze away from Shelton.

“That’s why I’m here,” Parson Kincaid offered. “Your father has told me he is willing to change. But he didn’t think you’d believe him.”

“He has a tongue. He can speak for himself.” Shelton continued to stare at his father.

“And who made you lord and master?” Hiram growled. Squinting his right eye, he glared at Shelton. “You’re not perfect yourself.”

“And thanks to you, Katherine knows all about it. I was going to tell her at the right opportunity. She didn’t deserve to hear it from a drunk.”

“What on earth are you two talking about?” his mother cried.

Shelton inhaled deeply and counted to ten before exhaling. “I’m sorry, Mother. But when I was sixteen and Father sent me away, I took advantage of a young lady. Father tried to pay the family off. They didn’t appreciate the offer. They refused to even let me talk with her and wanted me to have nothing to do with the baby.”

Elizabeth Greene’s eyes widened. “I have a grandchild I don’t know about?” she whispered.

“No. I received word that she lost the baby. I’ve repented and God has been gracious to me ever since.”

“And your pious attitude has been destroying this family,” Hiram accused.

“Hiram,” the parson said, “do you really blame Shelton for your gambling problem?”

Hiram coughed. “No.”

“But you don’t like your son telling you what to do, right?” “Precisely.”

“Parson,” Shelton said, “I’ve heard his vows to change before. I’ve been dealing with this problem for nearly a year now. I don’t trust his word.”

The parson turned toward Hiram. “What do you have to say about this?”

He pushed the chair back and stood. “I’ll be moved out in an hour.”

“Hiram,” Elizabeth cried. She turned to her son and the parson. “Could you give us some privacy, please?”

They left the room and stood out on the porch.