Plague of Memory (8 page)

FOUR

It took Garphawayn some time to relate the many facts that she felt were imperative for me to know. Most had to do with the reasons why my former self had fled Terra. I was shocked to learn of the bioengineering her creator, a Terran named Joseph Grey Veil, had used to transform his own cells into a female, altered version of himself. His experiment had made Cherijo into something more than human, the female Omorr told me, and discovering her uniqueness had shaped her and her life.

I could not believe that my body had been copied from that of a male. What did that make me? Were there others? "Is it customary to create genetic copies of other ensleg and then change them so?"

"No," Garphawayn assured me. "You are the only one that we know of, but there may be others. Cherijo's creator told her that she had 'brothers.'"

The female Omorr also repeated what her mate had told her of my former self, Reever, and a Jorenian named Kao Torin, and how the three had contributed to the long, troubled relationship between Cherijo and my husband. None of these things had been detailed in the journals, but Garphawayn assured me that Squilyp would attest to the facts.

It seemed that there was much I had not been told.

Squilyp's mate then detailed how it was with ensleg females, and permitted me to ask anything about ensleg ways, no matter how embarrassing. She remained patient with my ignorance, tolerated my many questions, and when something made no sense, she took me to the console and used the database to illustrate the point. She dismissed the laws of the Iisleg as gender bias born of ignorance-riddled custom and superstition. When I refused to believe her, she showed me examples of other species that had developed similar and opposing cultures, as well as the doctrines agreed upon by the Allied League.

She did not argue with my beliefs. She destroyed them.

By the time Garphawayn had finished my world had turned upside down and inside out. I could no longer look upon myself or Cherijo as the same person. All I could think was that I inhabited a body more valuable than anyone suspected, and the danger to me and Marel seemed to loom higher and colder than anything I knew, even an ice cliff ready to collapse.

Why had Reever kept such things from me?

I felt so many emotions that I could not untangle them: confusion, bitterness, anger—and an overwhelming sense of outrage. I only had one last question for Garphawayn. "What am I going to do, now that I know all of this?"

"Jam, you said that when you were among the skela, you did not act like a woman of the tribe or
follow the skela ways," the female Omorr said. "You saved lives."

I gave her a blank look. "It was my work. I knew the work had to be more important than anything the skela did. Besides that, the Iisleg would never have accepted the survivor of a crashed ship into an iiskar; I could never live among them as a proper woman."

"Your work is the same here. Even if the men do not agree with it, you must do what
you
feel is right." Garphawayn rose. "Now I must go and have harsh words with my mate. Signal me if you again need to speak of this or anything we have discussed."

She left me in that muddle of emotions and thoughts. Some time later the console blipped, indicating a priority relay was waiting, and I answered it. It came from the ship's communication center.

"ClanLeader Teulon Jado is signaling from the peace summit," Salo Torin told me. He did not seem to want to meet my gaze directly. "He insists on speaking with you, Healer."

"Permit him to do so, please," I said.

Salo forwarded the signal, which made Teulon's image appear on the console screen. The distance between us caused some slight distortion, but his familiar features loosened the knot inside my chest.

"Jam." He lifted his hand and touched the screen. I did the same. "Raktar." He looked tired and worried. "You and Resa are well?" "Yes." He smiled a little. "My Chosen asks the same of you" "I miss you both, but I am making a place here

for myself." A place that I was no longer convinced I wished to occupy but Teulon had not signaled me to listen to my woes. I also needed to check further into Garphawayn's claim that Cherijo had been grown from her creator's own cells to be the perfect, immortal physician. It was not something I entirely believed possible. I had been a man? "What is the matter?"

"HouseClan Torin has refused to permit you travel to Vtaga, to aid the Faction with this sickness on their world. Is this so?*' When I nodded, he said, "SubAkade TssVar has just presented an ultimatum to the mediators here. If you will go to Vtaga, the Faction will voluntarily abandon their slaver operations and free Hsktskt-held slaves."

"They will? All of them?" I was stunned.

The Hsktskt Faction administered the most extensive network of slaver operations, depots, and transport routes in the territories bordering League-explored space. It had been the collision of Faction slavery and League colonization that had created the tensions that eventually built up to outright war. No one knew how many slaves were held by the Faction, but conservative estimates were in the tens of millions.

"There is more," Teulon said. "TssVar stated that if you do not go to Vtaga, the Hsktskt will cease negotiations and resume hostilities with League forces at once. As a SubAkade and the only supporter among Faction leaders for the peace talks, we believe he can make this come about."

"Have you reminded the Hsktskt of the crystals?" I asked.

During the rebellion on Akkabarr, Teulon had acquired the Toskald's greatest treasure: crystals permanently etched with command codes that controlled the militaries of ten thousand worlds. The crystals had ended the war between the League and Hsktskt. No one knew that the Raktar had since placed them beyond the reach of himself or any being.

"SubAkade TssVar believes that if you do not go to Vtaga, the Hsktskt will perish. By plague or by crystal, it matters not to them." Teulon sounded as tired as he looked.
"I
have used every argument I can. He will not listen to me."

I felt cold. "What are your orders, Raktar?"

"No orders, my friend." Another smile, this one sad and resigned. "Your life is your own now, Jam. You are slave to no one."

Except to Cherijo's past. I thought of all Garphawayn had told me, and something clenched inside me. "Reever and the Torin will not allow me to go."

"I anticipated as much. Use this." He displayed a signal code sequence on the screen. "It cannot be blocked or monitored. Should anyone interfere, they will help you."

I memorized the sequence. "I thank you for it. Teulon ... " There was so much I wished to say to him. "I am sorry. Peace should not rest on the will of one person."

"As I know from experience." He touched the screen again. "If you have need of me, signal. I will come to you." His face vanished from the screen.

With it, a remote-connection light flickered off. I
knew enough about the console equipment to realize what they were doing.
I should have expected this.
I could not use the equipment for what I needed, and if I did not hurry even that avenue of appeal might be denied me, so I left Reever's quarters to go directly to communications.

"Healer." Salo Torin met me at the entry. "Is something—"

"From the light on my panel, I know that you recorded my exchange just now with Raktar Teuton," I said, noting the immediate guilt that crossed his features. "Which one of them told you to monitor my relays? The captain, or my husband?"

"Both. Your pardon, Healer, but I must follow my orders, even when I do not agree with them." His dark brows drew together. "You wish to dispute this? I will happily add my objections to yours."

"Another time, perhaps. At the moment, I need to send a relay to the code the Raktar gave to me." I did not recite it, for he already had a copy of the signal.

"You might have done that from your quarters."

"I should like to send it without being monitored or recorded." I gestured toward his station. "May I do so, and use one of your terminals?" I needed to offer something in return. "I would provide ease for you, if you wish."

"We do not... ah, no, I cannot permit either." He hesitated, and then checked the deck above us. "I must perform a routine diagnostic scan on the encryption hardware in the transponder control center. It will keep me occupied for the next hour. During that time, I would not see anyone who made use of the equipment here."

"So you would not." We understood each other perfectly. "I thank you."

I waited until Salo had disappeared before I went to an open terminal and input the relay sequence. The code opened a priority crisis relay channel between the
Sunlace
and the planet Joren. There was no display this time, only a male Jorenian voice identifying himself as adjunct to the Ruling Council, and requesting a statement of the emergency.

"This is Cherijo Torin," I said, glad for once to use her name. "I have been told that I am a member of this council, and I would speak on a matter of great importance."

"Healer Torin, the council is present and monitoring your relay," a female voice said. "Tell us how we may be of aid."

I related the details of my conversation with Teulon, and the decisions being made for me by the Torin and Reever. "Under the present circumstances, I would know what I am permitted to do of my own accord."

"As a member of the Ruling Council, you have absolute sovereignty over HouseClan Torin," the female told me. "You have but to issue the order to take you to Vtaga, and the captain will obey you. Should he not, he will be removed from command by our authority."

So the female Omorr had been correct in her assessment of my rights. "The ensleg—the men on the ship—they question my ability to make informed decisions. They feel that with my memory loss I am incapable of such."

"We see no evidence of this from the medical re
ports issued by Senior Healer Squilyp," the female said. "ClanLeader Jado has communicated the gravity of the situation to us. Know you what will happen should SubAkade TssVar follow through on the ultimatum he has offered?"

An end to slavery, or more war. "I understand the consequences, Council Member."

"We cannot compel you to go to Vtaga, Healer Torin. We can only urge you to do so." The female made a soft sound like a sigh. "It is our hope that you will."

There was more I had to ask, and the answers were immediate and positive. When I was satisfied that I had enough information, I thanked the council, terminated the relay, and went to speak to Salo. After discontinuing his pretend inspection and listening to what I had to say, he insisted on accompanying me to the command center. I paused only long enough to signal Reever and ask him to meet me there.

"You are certain this is what you wish to do, Healer?" he asked me just before we went into the lift.

"I am not certain of anything." How bitter that was, now that I knew why my former self had been created, and how hard she had fought that fate. I was a woman made from a man—how did I cope with that? "One cannot walk two paths, is that not what you said?"

"Perhaps I have said too much," he said as we went in to see the captain. Reever was with Xonea, and looked rather

agitated. "You were not in our quarters. I was concerned—"

"I am well." I turned to face Xonea. I had been made from a man, thus I would assert my authority as a man would. "Captain Torin, you must alter the ship's course and take me to Vtaga."

Impatience filled his eyes. "You cannot go there. It is too dangerous." He looked at Duncan. "Did you not explain this to her?"

"Raktar Teulon signaled me about a serious development at the peace talks." I quickly explained TssVar's ultimatum, and added, "If I do not go, the Hsktskt will go back to warring with the League. Thus, I must go."

"Teulon does not comprehend what he asks of you," Reever said. "I will signal him and explain the blood bounty. He will make no more demands."

"No, you will not signal the Raktar." I ignored the impulse to drop to the floor and kept my spine straight, the same way a man would. "This demand is made of me, not you. J have the skill to accomplish this task. J decide whether to go or not. I say that I will go."

A muscle ticked on the side of Reever's jaw. "They will execute you, Jam."

"They are dying. This is my work. Why should they murder the one who may help them live? I am told that I cannot be killed so easily, should they try." I addressed Xonea again. "You will take me to Vtaga now."

"I cannot do this, Cherijo," he told me. "You do not appreciate the—"

I looked at Salo. "How do I remove him from
command? Do I simply say the words?" Salo nodded. To Xonea, I said, "You will take me to Vtaga or I will remove you from command and make another serve in your place." I was not sure who I would make captain, but surely Salo would advise me.

Xonea's hands curled. "You do not have command of this ship."

"As a member of the Ruling Council, she does, Captain." Salo made a very formal-looking gesture. "She has the full support of the rest of the council."

"She has never spoken to ... " Xonea gave Salo a furious glare. "You permitted her to send an unmonitored signal?"

"I did so without his aid or his permission." I regarded the captain steadily. "Will you take me to Vtaga or not?"

Xonea glanced from me to my husband, and then gave me a very reluctant nod.

"No. I won't let you." Reever latched onto me with a hard grip. "You've wasted enough of your life. You don't have to go. You no longer serve Teulon."

"As you have said, Husband, I no longer serve
anyone."
I glanced down at his hand, and he released me. To the captain, I said, "How long will it take for the ship to make the journey there?"

"If we use transition," Xonea said, "three days." "Use transition." I walked out of the command center.

I knew Reever had every reason to be furious with me, so I did not return to his—our—quarters. Instead, I went to the deck where a great many members of the crew gathered to obtain wall food and share their meal intervals. I looked around, but I did not see the talking cat. The beast might be considered a person, but I was not going to eat near it. It might favor a bite of me over those pretend vegetables. I selected something my former self had kept programmed on the wall machine, and carried it to an empty table.