Plain Pursuit (14 page)

Driving her car back to the farmhouse, Carley kept thinking that Noah might be setting himself up for heartache—in several areas. But his passion about the clinic and his hopes for the future seemed to be Christ-driven. She couldn’t help but wonder if turning her own life over to God might give her some relief from all that plagued her. Being mad at Him didn’t seem to be working.

The familiar bitterness rose to the surface.
Why me? Why did
You allow these things to happen to me?

But no, that wasn’t fair. Noah hadn’t been dealt the best of hands either. Yet he kept God in his court. Maybe—

The sight of dozens of buggies parked around and in front of Lillian’s house interrupted her thoughts. She didn’t remember Lillian mentioning anything about having visitors today. And this was a
lot
of visitors.

9

CARLEY HEARD VOICES AS SHE WALKED UP THE PORCH steps—a soft murmur and one deep voice that was louder than the others. She pulled back on the screen door that led to the kitchen, careful not to let it slam behind her. Just as she prepared to round the corner and make herself known, she heard a man say Noah’s name. She held her position and listened.

“We cannot be of the type to use Noah Stoltzfus’s services,” the man said. “It is a
baremlich
thing when our
kinner
choose the ways of the
Englisch
after baptism. Noah coming back after all these years changes nothing. His
meiding
is to be upheld. Noah will make
gut
with his
Englisch
patients. Our district must do no business with him.”

“Bishop Ebersol, it wonders me—if there is an emergency problem that needs tendin’ to for the
kinner
, is going to Noah right?”

“I know he is your
bruder
, Mary Ellen,” the same man responded, “but you know what is right and wrong, no? Having said that, I would think it right to say that
only
in emergencies should you take yourselves or your
kinner
to Noah.”

“Ya.”
Mary Ellen sighed.

Noah was disillusioned if he thought this community was going to bend the rules. He, of all people, should know that. Carley quietly adjusted her purse on her shoulder and leaned an ear toward the den.

“Samuel, you will now talk with the
Englisch
woman in your
haus
and tell her it is best that she not visit with Noah. We do not want her newspaper article filled with stories from the past.”

“I will talk to her,” Samuel answered.

There couldn’t have been a worse time for Carley’s cell phone to ring in her purse, the zingy music louder and more annoying than usual. She fumbled for the phone, which seemed to have an endless ringtone, flipped it open, and found the End button as fast as she could. She looked up to see Lillian standing in the entryway between the kitchen and the den, with several people peering over her shoulder.

“Sorry,” Carley mumbled. She stuffed the phone back into her purse. “Sorry to interrupt your meeting.”

Lillian quickly covered the space between them and turned to face the group gathering in the doorway, some straining
to have a better look. “This is my friend Carley, visiting from Houston.”

The guests began making their way through the kitchen and toward the back door, a few nodding in Carley’s direction. Their expressions made Carley feel like she had committed some horrific crime. Only Mary Ellen and Rebecca smiled slightly at Carley while maneuvering through the room. Then along came Sadie.

“Hello, Carley,” she said. “How nice to see you again.” Sadie leaned in for a hug. “They are not as scary as they look.” She pulled away with a wink before heading toward the door.

Carley tried to smile as the rest of the group trolled by, eyeing her with suspicion. Samuel was the last to come through the kitchen. After bidding farewell to the last person, he turned to face Carley and Lillian. “Can we sit down and talk?” He motioned the two women toward the benches at the kitchen table.

Lillian took a seat next to her husband, and Carley slid onto the bench across from them. Lillian fidgeted, obviously loath to look Carley in the eye.

“Carley, we are glad to have you here,” Samuel said. He reached over and placed his hand on Lillian’s. “Lillian has been lookin’ forward to your visit.”

“I’m happy to be here,” Carley responded. Lillian continued to avoid eye contact, and Carley suspected it was difficult for her to bite her tongue and let Samuel have full control of the conversation. She wished she could tell her friend not to look so nervous. Carley didn’t think any less of Lillian.

“The situation with
mei bruder
is causing a stir in the community. Noah comin’ back is hard on my family, especially
mei
mamm
.” Samuel’s tone was gentle, his eyes kind. “Did you know he is planning to open a doctor’s office near here?”

“He told me today. Actually, he took me there to see it. It’s going to be very nice.”

Samuel drew in a breath. “Did he tell you about the book?”

Carley nodded and glanced at Lillian, who finally looked her in the eye. “Samuel told me about the book today,” Lillian said.

“He really regrets writing the book, Samuel,” Carley explained. “He said he was young and stupid. He wants to open the clinic as an effort to make up for his past mistakes.”

“We will not be able to go to his doctor’s office.” Samuel’s voice was firm but held a hint of regret.

“Noah said your mother, brother, and sisters have corresponded with him through the mail. Can’t the shunning rules be bent somewhat?”

“Not for us, Carley.” She saw Lillian squeeze Samuel’s hand, as if knowing this was a difficult conversation for him. “I know it’s hard for the
Englisch
to understand about shunning. Lillian thought it to be a
baremlich
thing in the beginning too—when she was studying the
Ordnung
—but now she understands it is to keep the church pure. And in keeping with that, I have to ask you not to put nothin’ in your story about the book.” His kind eyes were pleading with her.

“I’m not, Samuel. Please don’t worry about that. Noah also asked me not to put in anything about the book.”

Lillian squirmed, freed her hands from underneath Samuel’s, and got to the point Samuel was trying to make. “Samuel would prefer it if you didn’t spend any more time with Noah while you’re here.”

Samuel hung his head slightly while Lillian went on. “There’s a lot of hurt and bitterness about what Noah did. He didn’t just provide an inside look at the Amish lifestyle—he also divulged very personal things about the family and members of the community. He should have never done that to make a buck.”

“He was hurt and embittered,” Carley defended. “He had a calling from God to save lives, and his own family ousted him because of it. I don’t understand how, as Christians, you can adhere to this shunning. It is the most un-Christian thing I’ve ever heard of.” She glanced back and forth between the two of them. “I’m sorry, but that’s how I feel. Noah is sorry. God forgives him. Why can’t this district forgive him and give him an opportunity to redeem himself by helping those he loves?”

Samuel stood up from the table. “I’m going to let you and Lillian talk. David is upstairs with Anna. I’ll go check on them before it’s time to outten the lights.”

Lillian waited until Samuel was out of earshot. “Carley, I hear what you’re saying. I haven’t always been Amish. Shunning is a touchy subject, but I have to support Samuel on this. Please tell me you won’t spend any more time with Noah while you’re here. Samuel is very worried about what kind of story you’ll write for the newspaper, and now I understand why. He’s already been burned.”

“Lillian, I would never write anything to embarrass or shame you or Samuel. I think you know that.”

“I know. But understandably, Samuel is worried. It would help ease the tension if you didn’t spend time with Noah.”

The thought of not seeing Noah again invoked regret, an emotion she hadn’t expected to feel. But Lillian was her friend, and this was clearly important to her. Except . . . “Uh-oh. I think Noah might come to the mud sale on Saturday.”

“Oh, Carley, call him and tell him not to! Please. Was he coming so that he could talk to Samuel?”

“I think he wants to see his whole family. Lillian, he’s never seen his nieces or nephews. They are his blood.” She shook her head. “I’m having a terrible time with all this, but I’ll call him and let him know that it would be a bad idea to show up at the mud sale.”

“Thank you, Carley. I promise I’ll make this up to you somehow. I can tell that you like Noah, and I’m sorry to ask you to do this.”

“He’s nice enough. Honestly, I feel bad for him.”

“I can tell that Samuel feels badly for him, too, even if he won’t admit it,” Lillian said as she stood up. “I’m going upstairs to check on everyone.” She crossed the threshold from the kitchen to the den and then turned around. “There are all kinds of Christianity. Some people go to church every Sunday without a clue why they’re there. Others never step foot in church but have a very spiritual connection with God. You have a relationship with God—I can hear in your voice. Please try not to think less of us because of the shunning.”

“Where did that come from? I thought we were talking about Noah.”

“I heard you loud and clear just now what you said about forgiveness. We’re just trying to do the right thing.”

Carley pondered Lillian’s comments as she watched Lillian walk away.
Connection with God?
Carley didn’t think so. She’d only recited what she had been taught in catechism. This relationship with God that everyone talked about eluded her.

And whose fault is that?

The thought hung over her. The answer came slowly.

“Mine,” she said aloud.

She reached into her purse for her cell phone and sighed. She knew this conversation with Noah was going to be difficult. Not only did his family not want anything to do with him, but she was bailing on him also.

She opened the phone and stared at it. Then slowly closed her eyes. “Dear God . . . I . . . I pray that I handle this correctly,” she whispered, “and that there will ultimately be some peace for this family.”

Can You hear me?

Saturday morning, Carley watched Lillian bustle around the house—packing the diaper bag, making sure David fed the horses and milked the cows, and giving orders about what needed to be loaded in the car. All the while Carley repeatedly tried
to call Noah. For two days she’d dialed his cell phone, only for it to go straight to voice mail. She had left two brief messages explaining that it would be best for him not to attend the mud sale and asking him to call her as soon as possible.

No return call.

Call me, Noah.

“I’ve got to help Samuel in the barn for a minute. He doesn’t usually go to these things, but he has a few items he wants to auction. Did you ever get hold of Noah?” Lillian asked while handing Anna to Carley.

“Lillian, I haven’t been able to get hold of him. I left messages, but I have no way of knowing if he got them. He very well could show up.”

“Do you think he’ll approach Samuel or any of the family?” Lillian tied her apron strings and headed toward the door.

Carley shrugged. “Maybe.”

Noah tucked his blue shirt into his jeans and headed for the faucet. He filled up Chloe’s water bowl and kicked himself for the umpteenth time for losing his cell phone. He hadn’t a clue where it was, though he suspected it had gone missing at the hospital.

The problem was that he never wrote down phone numbers, only stored them in his phone—including Carley’s. He hadn’t had time to find her, either; his shift at the hospital had kept him too busy for anything but the endless stream of patients who came through the emergency room. He could only hope Carley had softened Samuel’s heart and that his family would be happy to see him at the mud sale.

Although he shouldn’t place all the pressure on Carley—it was his responsibility to remedy this situation.

Noah remembered attending the annual sale in Penryn when he was young. Members of the Old Order district ran the sale, and it was a time when both Amish and
Englisch
gathered together to bid on everything from farm equipment to household knickknacks.