Plain Return (The Plain Fame Series Book 4) (15 page)

“I need some coffee,” she said and walked away from Alejandro.

In a room behind the sitting area was a kitchenette. A carafe of coffee and a tray of bread and fruit had been placed on the counter. Amanda did not ask Alejandro if he wanted anything. Instead, she poured herself a cup of coffee and, with her back turned toward him, tried to steady her nerves as she sipped it.

A child. A five-year-old child. How was she to mother another woman’s daughter? The bittersweet irony that Amanda had hoped for her own baby was not lost on her. God had answered her desire for a child, but not in the way Amanda had expected.
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
She finished her coffee and set the cup back on the counter. She thought of the future and hope. This was all part of God’s plan, and she knew better than to question it.

She took a deep breath and exhaled. Despite the rapid-fire manner in which Maria Fernanda had presented the paperwork, Amanda had signed willingly, knowing that, like Alejandro, she was accepting responsibility for the little girl. And while she did not appreciate being ambushed by Alejandro, Amanda knew that it wasn’t Isadora’s fault.

Taking a white plate from the small stack on the counter, Amanda placed several pieces of fruit and bread on it. It was still early, and surely the little girl was in need of food. The universal language of hunger and satiation might begin the formation of a bond between them. She walked to the glass table and set the plate down before turning to look over at Isadora.

“Isadora,” she said gently. When the girl looked up, Amanda smiled, gesturing with her hand. “Come.”

Isadora made no attempt to move, although her eyes shifted to the plate of food.

Smiling, Amanda walked across the room and knelt down once again.
“Venga a comer
,”
she said in Spanish. There were very few words and phrases that she knew in Alejandro’s language, but she certainly had heard Señora Perez call them to eat enough times. She only hoped that the phrase was similar enough in Portuguese for the girl to understand her.

Isadora looked up at her grandfather and waited. He nodded his head, and hesitantly, Isadora stepped forward. Amanda grasped her hand and led her to the table. Gently, she helped the child into the chair and touched her shoulder.

“She doesn’t speak Spanish,” Alejandro said from where he still stood.

Amanda had already guessed that. She felt a tightness in her chest, realizing that she had just adopted a child with whom neither she nor Alejandro could communicate. On the inside, Amanda wanted to cry, but she managed to maintain her composure. All of her life, her mother had taught her and Anna that questioning God’s will was the same thing as admitting a lack of faith in him. Whatever God had planned for her and Alejandro with the arrival of this child . . . well, Amanda knew that she needed to remain calm as she accepted Isadora with an open mind and heart.

Ignoring Alejandro, she continued to sooth Isadora in both Spanish and English. She hoped that the calm and reassuring sound of her voice might relax the child. After all, Amish children often did not speak English at home, learning it only when they started school at around the same age Isadora was now. And they often did not know the High German used by the preachers and bishop during worship service. It was the tone of voice, the comfort of sound that helped to instill the message of love and devotion, both in the home and at the worship service.

To her relief, her approach worked well enough for Isadora to reach out and take a piece of pineapple. While her small hands were clean, the dirt under her fingernails told a different story. Her grandfather had to the best of his ability prepared his granddaughter to be presented to her new parents: a reckless man who hadn’t known the child’s mother well and the man’s young wife, who hadn’t known her at all.

Amanda wondered if he spoke Spanish and, if so, what type of exchange he’d had with Alejandro.

The click of a door shutting caused Amanda to look back toward the front door. The grandfather was gone. A small suitcase was all that remained of Isadora da Silva’s past in Brazil. Amanda felt her heart rate increase. How could he leave without even saying good-bye? Looking back at the little girl, Amanda fought the tightness in her chest. Fortunately, Isadora hadn’t noticed her grandfather’s departure. Nor did she realize that, most likely, in several years, she would forget most of her experiences living in Brazil. She might even lose the ability to speak Portuguese. The death of her mother would become a faint memory, something that just happened when she was a child. The imprint of her past would remain deeply embedded but not remembered.

With the departure of the grandfather who’d left only a dirty suitcase behind for the child, Amanda knew that Isadora’s future had been changed forever.

She hadn’t heard him approach her. But when she felt Alejandro’s hand on her back, Amanda startled. Using every ounce of her strength to remain calm and respectful, she lifted her eyes and stared at him.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

From the expression on his face, she knew that he meant it.
I’m sorry.
Two simple words that said so much. Oh, she could see that he felt forlorn. He didn’t need to use any additional words. But she wasn’t certain how to respond. After all, a year ago, she hadn’t even known that this world existed. Now, she was fully immersed in it, standing in a foreign country with the man she loved and a stepchild she did not know. To say that she felt shocked by these events would have been putting it mildly.

Of course, she knew that this development had come as a shock to him, too. As she replayed the events from the previous night, she suspected that he might have learned about the unexpected arrival of the old man and five-year-old girl right before the show. Now she understood his request that she perform earlier and leave for the hotel right away, for he knew that he would have much to discuss with the social worker, the grandfather, and probably Geoffrey as well. The presence of a child on the tour and in their lives would affect everyone on both a personal and professional level.

I’m sorry.

These two words said a lot about how Alejandro was certainly feeling, but words could not erase his past mistakes. Amanda wished she could tell him that there was nothing to be sorry about, but the words would not form on her lips. She knew that his mother had raised him to respect God, but he had chosen a different path, one that was as far from godly and righteous as a path could be. The consequences of his actions, actions she chose not to hear discussed but could certainly imagine, could not be ignored.

“You must believe me when I say I had no idea.” He looked at Isadora and shook his head. “No idea at all.”

His daughter, Amanda thought as she watched him. With his reserved manners and stoic front, he might have been staring at a complete stranger and not his daughter. A daughter from a woman he never really knew, she reminded herself and immediately felt a chill in her heart. She remembered him telling her about this daughter, and how he’d said that he didn’t know her but took care of her by sending money. A money transfer into a bank account was all that Isadora had been to him. Now, she sat at the table devouring the pineapple that Amanda had set before her.

Oh, Amanda knew that Alejandro was dealing with this unexpected development in the best manner possible. The way that he fought to maintain his aura of control hinted at the underlying stress that he undoubtedly felt. The situation was not ideal, Amanda thought, her gaze moving from Alejandro back to the little girl. But this was the way that God wanted it to be. There was a reason Alejandro had never learned of the mother’s death and a reason he’d only learned about it while in Rio with his wife, in the midst of his tour. There simply was not enough time now to think about what to do or to consider different options. So while only he could take the blame for his past behavior, Amanda also realized that this unexpected situation was not his fault. And regardless of blame or guilt, there was only one outcome: together, they would have to deal with suddenly becoming a family of three.

“What do we do now?” Amanda kept her voice low even though she knew Isadora could not understand her words. She expected that he had a plan. He always had a plan; he was always in complete control. Now, more than ever, she needed to know what he thought and how they were supposed to proceed.

But, for the first time, he didn’t offer a plan or advice on what needed to be done. The worn expression on his face as he lifted his hand and rubbed at his jaw told her without words what she did not want to hear: he, too, was at a loss. His lack of an immediate response indicated that, for the first time since she’d known him, he had no proposed solution to a problem.

“Alejandro!”

He backed away from her. “I am thinking, Amanda. I have been thinking all night.”

“Ja vell!”
she snapped. “That’s a lot longer than I have had to process this!” Immediately, she hated the words and her tone. If she could take them back, she would. Not once while growing up had she heard her parents argue. She didn’t want to be like the Englischers who spoke in such a disrespectful way to their spouses. “I’m sorry, Alejandro. I’m just . . . taken aback,” she said, struggling to find words to express how she felt, “by the suddenness of this.”

Alejandro took a deep breath, and after he’d exhaled, acknowledged her words by nodding. “I understand, Amanda.”

When she realized that he was struggling to maintain his composure, her sense of compassion as well as her love for him overcame her. She took a step toward him and pulled him into her arms, a gesture he returned by pressing her against him. She could feel his heart pounding beneath his shirt, another indicator of how troubled he truly was. Oh, how she wished she could take away his pain.

Leaning back, she reached up and pressed her hands against his cheeks. As she studied his face, she noticed for the first time how tired he looked. She couldn’t fathom what type of restless night he’d had. “We will get through this, Alejandro,” she said. “Together,
ja
? And what does this change? Nothing, really.” She smiled and glanced at the little girl. “There will just be three of us now.”

“Three,” he repeated, a hint of disbelief in his voice.

“And you said you wanted to start a family,
ja
?”

“Ay,
Princesa
,”
he said, leaning forward to touch his forehead against hers. “No teasing. Not about this.” But she could sense that he felt less stressed. Had his biggest fear been accepting the responsibility of a child he had fathered but did not know, or had it been her reaction? Her acceptance of the situation and willingness to work together seemed to calm him, if only a little.

The vibration of his cell phone interrupted them. He released his hold on her, but only after he kissed the top of her head, his lips lingering just long enough for the phone to vibrate a third time. With a sigh, he reached into his pocket and answered it as he withdrew from the room.

Alone with Isadora, Amanda wasn’t certain what to do. She hesitated before she pulled out a chair and—slowly, so she didn’t startle the little girl—sat down. The girl turned to look at her with those blue eyes, so familiar to Amanda but in a strange face. Isadora glanced over Amanda’s shoulder toward the door. In an instant, a look of panic crossed her face and she jumped up. Her little legs ran toward the spot, now occupied by the suitcase, where her grandfather had stood.

Amanda quickly followed.

“Onde está o meu avô?”
Isadora cried out, her voice sounding small. “Avô?”

From the way Isadora looked around, tears falling from her eyes as she repeated that word, Amanda suspected that she was calling out for her grandfather.

“Shh,” Amanda whispered and knelt down. She reached up one hand to press against the door so that Isadora could not open it. She felt her heart breaking as the child began to sob, her shoulders heaving as she realized that Avô was gone and she was to stay with these strangers. Amanda wished she had thought to ask Maria Fernanda about what Isadora had been told. At five years old, surely she could not understand being left behind.

“What’s going on?”

Ignoring Alejandro’s question as he returned to the room, Amanda reached out with her free hand to try comforting Isadora, but that only caused her to scream and back away into the corner. “Please, Isadora,” Amanda tried to comfort her. “Please don’t cry.” When the crying continued, Amanda felt her own eyes well up with tears. She looked at Alejandro as if he could help. “Say something to her. Please!” she whispered.

He shifted his gaze from Amanda to the child. Amanda could see what he was thinking: without knowing her language, there was little that he could do. He ran his hand through his hair, clearly frustrated and weary after the past twelve hours, which had been so filled with surprises. “Look at your cell phone,” he finally said. “Try a translation software.”

“A translation software?” Amanda repeated, staring at him in disbelief. Had Alejandro truly suggested that she turn to technology to comfort a terrified child? The noise coming from the child, so distraught and hysterical, tore at her emotions. She wanted to wrap her arms around Isadora, hold her tight, and comfort her with words that meant something to the little girl. Technology could never replace the warmth and reassurance of a maternal embrace. Disappointed with his suggestion, Amanda offered a better solution. “Mayhaps you might want to find a translator,
ja
? A female preferably?”

“¡Sí, sí!”
He shook his head as he began typing on his phone. “I’m sorry, Amanda. I’m not thinking clearly.”

Neither of us are,
she wanted to say. Instead, Amanda returned her attention to Isadora, who had pressed her face against the wall as she stood in the corner. Moving closer to her, Amanda continued with a soft “Shh” and reached out her hand to gently rub Isadora’s back. She felt the child’s skin tremble beneath her hand, and for a moment, she almost withdrew her touch. But she didn’t. Whatever Isadora had been through, Amanda knew that love would be the only way to create a bond.