Planet Lolita (20 page)

Him:
Dude!

(
whispers
) Shite again!

Him:
Mind keeping your phone camera, and your thoughts, to yourself?
Her:
It’s okay, Dad.

(
whispers
) I didn’t figure her for his kid …

Me:
Sorry, just sending a video home to my girl in Dublin …
Him:
Even so.
Me:
But that dog has only three legs. And is wearing an eye patch, and a creepy grin. How’d you know it would be on the dock?
Her:
I’m pretty sure God is only half-watching us right now. Which is probably for the best.
Him:
What? Why? … Look, just point your phone elsewhere, okay?
Me:
Sorry.

(
whispers
) Mish, best that I send this before I start a row and one of us ends going through the motions. Wait, we’re coming to the dock now … Check out the hopalong pirate pooch … (
voice even lower
) And God is only half-watching
us! You heard it first here. Cheers, Liam
Liam Moran 16:11
To Michelle at [email protected]

www.shebuddhawithin.blogspot.com
Guanyin in Bangkok
Blog: Shebuddhawithin—23 December 20—
By: RosemarieE

Wat Pho visit
How else to pass another dreary day except by courting a chill among the female Buddhas of Bangkok? Am I glad I did. The sage monk Wunsen may believe that Steve Jobs has been reincarnated as a divine being—for a laugh, check out monkwunsen.net—but I came upon my own living deity at Wat Pho, and she was more inspirational than any overhyped gadget man. With the rain a waterfall and the air carbonated grey, I had the great temple by the Chao Phraya pretty much to myself. I’d heard Guanyin resided at Wat Pho, one of a handful of statues to the goddess in non-Chinese temples around the capital, and wasn’t surprised to find her outdoors, unprotected—unlike her presumed-to-be-male counterparts—by pagoda roofs. (A good thing the great reclining Buddha stayed indoors; he’d have drowned by now.) Sure enough, away from the soaring pagodas and conical stupas was a garden of lesser stone deities. Amidst the pop-eyed dragons and Hanumans, along with an amusing statue depicting the pain-pleasure of traditional Thai massage, was a row of serene Guanyins, many covered by worshippers in flakes of gold leaf and garlanded in white beads. The flakes, plus the exposure to pounding sunlight or biblical rains, had left the lady I found most compelling in a
bedraggled state that made her dignity and mystery all the more apparent. There she stood, near life-sized on her pedestal—no fearsome Chinese dragon beneath this godhead—one arm across her waist but the other raised, fingers crooked instructively. (The
vitarka mudr?
, symbolizing the energy of teaching.) More beads dangled off the raised hand and a bouquet of yellow flowers nestled atop the other.

From under a nearby awning I studied Guanyin, wondering: Should I bother taking a photo in such a deluge? At that moment a flower-stem of a girl in a smart rain poncho, a traditional skirt provided, I guessed, by attendants at the entrance, and dollar-store flip-flops, approached the statue, admiring her up close for a long minute or so. By the time the girl lowered her hood to reveal a delicate Asian face and, oddly, pink-rimmed sunglasses of zero utility on such a day, I had been joined under the awning by a man who was, I right away surmised, her unhappy father. His features, accentuated by the polish of rain, were definitely Chinese; she, at a guess, has a Western mother.

What happened next gave me more cheer than any experience so far in this awful city. While we both watched, the teenager dropped into the lotus position, ignoring the puddle, closer to a pond, into which her buttocks sank. I gave a slight cry of shock but, on turning to her father, noted that he merely shrugged and, to my private disgust, lit a cigarette, his lighter the kind of tinselly silver object beloved by grown men and cats. She settled into her own striking and surprising variation on the
vitarka mud?
, the fingers of her left hand resting in the palm of her right—the less common
dharmachakra mudr?
, or turning the wheel of Dharma. Imagine my surprise at her knowledge of this position, an admiration undiminished by her parent’s snide comment, when I expressed that surprise out loud, that she had likely learned the pose from watching
Pokémon
or
Sailor Moon.
I doubted it very much but, wishing no further contact with him, kept my thoughts to myself.

Instead, after several minutes of silent concern that the girl might catch her death, I braved the downpour and crossed to where she sat, face-to-face with her protector. Without a word I removed a garland of beads from the one deity and draped them over another. She smiled up at me, transmitting as much through eyes whose brightness could come only from within. It was dazzling, although I wish I had not detected something else on her features—worry, upset, perhaps fear. Our only exchange was banal, but that hardly mattered, given the profundity of her gesture and, I hoped, my humble recognition of it. “My sister has a tattoo,” she seemed to say, the rain obscuring her true meaning. “Mind is devoid of mind,” I answered. “The nature of mind is clear light”—the second sutra of the Dharma, which I was pleased to have recalled.

Guanyin is alive and well in Bangkok!

“Look after her, foolish man,” I should have said to the sulking dad. But I didn’t; the hostility and suppressed violence of men unnerves me, ties my tongue in knots. But the serene Buddha will be her guardian, I know.

For further inspiration please read my book
This Lady Is a Buddha.
Go to www.thisladyisabuddha.com and www.shebuddhawithin.com
Read more: http://www.asianrover.com/travelblogs/shebuddhawithin
Email this ◊ Digg This! ◊ Share on Facebook
Tags: Asia, attractions in Bangkok, attractions in Thailand, blog, Bangkok temples, wat pho, Thai massage, Guanyin, Buddhism, tattoos, American cigarettes

Comment on the original post at She Buddha Within
From: MonkWunsen
RosemarieE—Hate to burst your anti-Apple bubble, but this Buddhist sage is
none other than Randy Munk, of Baltimore, Maryland. Munk-Monk—get it, truth seeker? Wunsen is “thin noodle” in Thai, claims my online dictionary, and the jibber-jabber on my blog—check it out, fo sho, at monkwunsen.net—is a ruse to draw the spirit nutters and digital luddites into the cold light of the Apple screen. Job—Steve Jobs—complete!

www.facebook.com/davidwu11867

David Wu
Tuesday December 23
SilomBoysNightOut
Sorry, ladies—only cure for Cool Kwok’s post-marriage blues is a ramble through Nana Plaza. (No lowlow Patpong for us gentlemen liu-mang.) Direct line from Obsession to Temptations to top-floor Cascades. And after midnight, all stairways, up or down, lead to Planet Lolita! David, Boon, Pepsi—you know what I’m talking about … Jacob may be feverish from all day puddle-splashing and staying stubbornly off-grid—his phone is good for a haha—but the rest of you gangstas should chime in. Put on your PL caps and start liking this link.
10:03 pm
Tag . Add Location . Edit
Like. Comment. Stop Notifications. Share. Edit
Lily Chan, Mint Wattana, Gun Boonliang, JR Chu, and 27 others like this.

Aroon Mookjai
loving our boys night out, JR. Good that we steer clear of Euro-slob joints and salaryman infests. But Nana Plaza is so much katoey! Watch your wallets
Tue at 11:17 pm . Like

David Wu
i can’t even tell sometimes … Pepsi, educate an innocent?
Tue at 11:18 pm . Like

Aroon Mookjai
pre-ops, not so hard. Post-op, check for Adam’s apple. If She has one, She once was a prick—like rest of us
Tue at 11:20 pm . Like

Gun Boonliang
can have operation for that too
Tue at 11:20 pm . Like

Aroon Mookjai
truly. Other way—ask her to make a fist. Real females no can do
Tue at 11:20 pm . Like

Mint Wattana
was going to leave disgusting chatter for bad baby boys only. But this fist thing—wha?
Tue at 11:26 pm . Like

Aroon Mookjai
try it, Mint
Tue at 11:26 pm . Like

Lily Chan
make sense to me. Original sin, all men. Same with violence
Tue at 11:27 pm . Like

JR Chu
come again?
Tue at 11:28 pm . Like

Lily Chan
any of you horn-dogs watching over Jacob? He should be back in the hotel with his daughter. She in bad way
Tue at 11:29 pm . Like

Mint Wattana
no can make fist! Must be all girl, lol
Tue at 11:30 pm . Like

JR Chu
greetings from Planet Lolita. Got my eyes on the Kwok-man, Lily, just like you. At the bar, he ask—“Is this one real?” She is
Wed at 00:40 am . Like

Aroon Mookjai
pl all real pussy, all juicy girl. Youngest, and best, in Nana. Not cheap
Wed at 00:40 am . Like

David Wu
how not cheap, Pepsi?
Wed at 00:41 am . Like

Aroon Mookjai
Short-term 1500 baht, long-term 2500. Plus 800 barfine and 400 short-stay hotel. Plus 200 tuk-tuk home
Wed at 00:41 am . Like

Gun Boonliang
like last time, why we talking on JR’s Facebook??
Wed at 00:50 am . Like

JR Chu
too loud in here, wha. Only spitting at each other
Wed at 00:51 am . Like

Mint Wattana
you guys are terrible! I serious now. Sprog of Kwok feeling very blue—what teen says no to shopping spree, like she did this afternoon, with other gal paying??—and lonely for her mom. Her name is Gloria, yes?
Wed at 00:54 am . Like

Aroon Mookjai
go to bed, Mint. Empty bed, I bet. Anyway, isn’t mom a total bitch?
Wed at 00:54 am . Like

Lily Chan
Gloria, who is Gloria? Jacob’s ex—almost—is named Leah Mc-Big-Mac or something … And wish I believe JR that he watching over our sad friend!
Wed at 1:10 am . Like

JR Chu
Lily, here is true thing—I watching Cool Kwok watch very pretty, very naked girl dance. She watching him right back. Sorry, lol
Wed at 1:10 am . Like

Lily Chan
asshole too, JR? Like Pepsi
Wed at 1:10 am . Like

David Wu
nuff, Lily. Offline, Silomboys, and angry ladies. Too much danger. Too much on record
Wed at 1:11 am . Like
Places
David Wu was at Planet Lolita and 3 other places
[MAPS]
www.facebook.com/David.Wu11867

www.facebook.com/tim.jodpur.2

Chris Leahy
Dude! Where you at?
10:24 pm

Tim Jodpur
Late night in Connect cafe in Bangkok. Some fish-stinky street near the Excelsior hotel. Me and a hundred gamers. Too rainy out there for much else.
10:24 pm

Chris Leahy
Anyone beating the meat to gonzo porn?
10:24 pm

Tim Jodpur
They give you the boot if they catch you streaming filth. Mostly gaming, and Skyping, and Facebook. Cute girl in red poncho next to me trying to Skype, I think. No reply.
10:24 pm

Chris Leahy
Would you do Poncho Girl on the cyber-cafe floor?
10:25 pm

Tim Jodpur
With the security cameras in this place? And she’s jailbait. Beautiful face and skin, though, probably why she wears her hair so buzz. Also, I think she’s crying.
10:25 pm

Chuck Hayes
If she’s Thai, it’s blow job heaven. Chinese girls let you nail them, but stop before it gets nasty. For gonzo, go with Filipino. They’re desperate.
10:25 pm

Tim Jodpur
Dude …
10:25 pm

Chuck Hayes
I’m just saying. Any chance of snapping the poncho princess
and uploading it for us losers stuck here in Canuckistan? I’ll carry the laptop straight to the john and get it on!
10:25 pm

Chris Leahy
Chuck’s a waste of DNA, but I wouldn’t mind a glimpse of this girl either. Cool upload to Tumblr?
10:27 pm

Tim Jodpur
Why not? She’s the only thing worth shooting in this cyber pit. Let me see if I can’t aim without her … Fuck, she made me! Hey!
10:27 pm

Chris Leahy
Dude?
10:27 pm

Tim Jodpur
Weird—she freaked out at the iPhone and bolted from her chair like I was going to pop her cherry. The look on her face …
10:27 pm

Chuck Hayes
Crazy ass bitch. Lots of THOSE in Asia, too.
10:27 pm

Tim Jodpur
Chuck, seriously, fuck off back to PlayStation 2. Such a loser.
10:28 pm

Date: Tuesday, 23 Dec 20—, 11:01 a.m.
Subject: contact!
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]

You bet I’m relieved to get your email! Still on line in bleary B-kok? Better to Skype, sure, but not this morning – I’m late as is for some pretend Xmas shopping with a couple of other Asian refugees in res. How about tomorrow at 3:30 p.m., your time, assuming you can give our wastrel father the slip again. Some of us are clubbing tonight, last chance for a holiday frolic, but I should be back in my room by then. (Up to the Kwok mansion in Richmond Hill in the aft for a fun-free Christmas eve with the Confucians.)