Play Dirty (Make the Play #4) (11 page)

It’s the moment I’ve been waiting for all day. Thinking about this moment is what got me through the painful wedding ceremony and the awkward conversation with guests during dinner. This moment will make all of that worth it.

“May I have this dance?” Standing in front of Talia as she sits around a circular table, I extend my hand.

Reaching out, she wraps her slender fingers around mine. “Of course.”

Gently, I help her up into a standing position. Then I guide her onto the dance floor. Couples are scattered around, and I spot Dad and Olivia a few feet away. Turning from them, I focus on Talia. Standing still, I wrap my arms around her waist and draw her close. Her arms loop around my neck as our bodies sway to the music. Lucky for me it’s a slow song. That gives me an excuse to pull her even closer. When our chests meet, I can detect the faint rhythm of her heartbeat beneath mine. For some reason it comforts me. All of the sudden the ugliness of the day falls away. Underneath the sparkling lights with music playing and Talia in my arms, I come alive. I feel happier than I have all day. It’s so confusing. Usually girls bring me down. They don’t lift me up.

“Well, you did it,” Talia says, peering up at me. Her eyes are bright, her hair smooth and shiny. She’s gorgeous. “The wedding is almost over. You survived.” She winks.

Nodding, I swallow hard. A few minutes earlier I wanted nothing more than to get out of here. Now I want to stay forever.

“Are you glad you came?” she asks.

“Are you?” It’s habit. Answering a question with a question. I’ve been doing it for so long now it happens without thinking.

“I asked first.” Most girls would just answer, but Talia’s different. It’s one of the things I’ve grown to like about her.

“And I asked second,” I banter back. But when her smile slips a little, I decide to cut the games and simply answer. “Yeah, I am glad I came.” Now that Talia’s in my arms, I can honestly say that I’m happy to be here.

“Me too,” she answers, causing my heart to skip a beat.

Nearby I spot Emmy and Chris dancing. I spin Talia away from them. Not because I care about them at all, mostly because I don’t want anything to interrupt this moment. She clutches tightly to my neck as we twirl around, her hair flying behind her. It’s weird the things I notice about her, the tiny details, like the way her eyes scrunch up when she smiles or the way she runs her fingers through her hair when she’s nervous. I’ve never been an observant guy. It’s got me in trouble with girls before. But everything is different with Talia, and I don’t even understand why.

Honestly, my feelings for her came out of nowhere. One minute I’m going along, sticking to the plan, and the next I’m abandoning the plan altogether. Falling for Talia was a surprise. It hit me hard like a fast pitch from a guy who normally throws duds. I definitely wasn’t expecting it.

But now that it’s happened, I don’t want to fight it.

In the past, I’ve been accused of being commitment phobic, but the truth is I never met a girl I wanted to commit to. Earlier this year I thought I wanted to commit to Ashley, but now I’m not so sure. Everyone knows I like a challenge, and maybe that’s all Ashley was to me. Perhaps having two girls dump me for someone else was too much for my ego to take.

But I do want to commit to Talia. I’m sure of that.

Opening my mouth, I’m about to share this with her when I feel a tap on my shoulder. Flinching, I slowly crane my neck. Dad stands behind me wearing a tentative smile. Blowing out a breath, I release one arm from Talia and turn toward him. That’s when I see Olivia standing at his side.

“Excuse me,” Dad says politely to Talia. Then he looks pointedly at me. “Olivia and I just need to steal you away for a minute.”

I sigh, wondering what they could possibly need now. We’ve already taken a million pictures. When I see Chris heading in our direction, my stomach drops.
Great. More family fun.
Maybe I should amend my earlier statement. No, I’m not glad I came. Not now anyway.

Reluctantly, I release Talia all the way. Annoyance swims in my veins. Why did Dad have to interrupt me right at this moment?

“I’ll be right back,” I say to Talia, fighting hard not to sound as angry as I feel.

“I’ll be right here.” She points to the chair I’d originally pulled her out of.

“Hopefully this won’t take long,” I say, before following behind my dad, Olivia and Chris. As I walk with my dysfunctional family, I scour the place for the photographer. When I don’t see him, I sigh with relief. Posing for all those pictures was excruciating. I thought my face was going to freeze into a perpetual smile. I’m only just now getting feeling in it again.

Besides, I felt like an imposter standing there next to Chris, Olivia and my dad, acting like one big happy family. Not only that, but it felt like a betrayal to my mom. A betrayal to all the family photos we’d taken over the years. Every Christmas Mom would make us wear matching outfits and stand out in the freezing cold until we got the perfect picture. Maybe she thought if the picture was perfect, we would be too.

Boy was she wrong.

When Dad leads us inside the building where we originally got ready, I’m confused. “Are we starting over?” I quip.

Chris frowns, crossing his arms over his chest. Clearly he’s thinking the same thing.

“No.” Dad lets out a nervous laugh, running a hand over his salt and pepper hair.

“Then what are we doing?” Chris asks.

Olivia gently touches his arm. It reminds me of a gesture my mom would do, and I have to look away. “We just wanted to have a minute with you boys before the day was over.”

“Just a minute.” I yank out my phone. “Great. I’ll start the countdown.”

Again, Dad supplies the nervous laughter. His hand clamps down on my shoulder, but it’s harder than I expected, and it sort of stings. “No, not just a minute,” Dad says through a forced smile. “Olivia and I have a few things we want to say.”

Great. Our first family meeting. Yippee.

Olivia clasps her hands in front of her like she’s about to start praying. I sincerely hope she’s not. I don’t know much about her spiritual beliefs. “Dan and I really appreciate you both being here,” she says, squeezing her hands together tightly.

Okay, so she’s not praying
. She’s just using her hands as a crutch. I get that.

“We know that this day hasn’t been the easiest for either one you,” Dad interjects, Olivia nodding at him as if he said his line perfectly. Had they rehearsed this?

“And we know the two of you haven’t always gotten along so well.” Olivia looks pointedly between Chris and me. I don’t dare look at him. This entire thing is way too awkward. Why are they forcing all this today? “But we’re a family now.” She reaches for Dad’s hand as if to demonstrate her point. “And Dan and I would love it if you two could get along. If we all could get along.” Her smile deepens. “And, Josh,” she continues, placing a hand on my arm. “I know I can never replace your mom, but--”

Wrong thing to say.
Tearing my arm away, I interrupt her, “Damn straight you won’t replace her. No one could replace my mom, certainly not you.”

“Hey, you better tread lightly.” Chris shoves a finger in my face.

I bat it away. “You’re the one who should tread lightly. You and your mom,” I snap, the composure I’d been fighting to keep all day unraveling like the seam on a shirt after you pull it. “Do you have any idea what this has done to my mom? And now you want to talk about replacing her?” I ask a stricken Olivia. Dad places a hand on her shoulder and narrows his eyes at me.

“Josh, calm down,” Dad says. “I know you’re upset, but you can’t speak to Olivia like this.”

“Mom’s not even dead! She doesn’t need to be replaced,” I shout, wondering if I’m the only sane person in this room.

“It was a poor choice of words,” Olivia speaks softly. “And I’m sorry.” The gentleness in her tone calms me a little. Not a lot, but at least I’m not biting anyone’s head off at the moment.

“Yeah, she was only trying to be nice,” Chris interjects, pinning me with a glare. “This is new to all of us. You’re not the only one struggling right now.”

I open my mouth to toss out another retort when my gaze lands on Chris’s protective stance, as he positions his body in front of his mom’s. It reminds me of something I would do with my mom, and that reminds me of the fact that Chris has had the same kind of life as me. We’ve both spent our childhood and teenage years protecting our moms. As much as I want to keep hating the guy, that is one thing I can respect. I may not like his mom that much, but I understand how much she means to him. And he’s doing the right thing by defending her. I can’t fault him for that. So I keep my mouth shut and simply nod.

There is collective sigh of relief around the room.

Dad steps forward. “It’s important to Olivia and me that the four of us learn how to be a family. We’re not expecting to all get along perfectly at first, but we really want you boys to at least give it a try.”

Chris clears his throat, thrusting his hand in my direction. “What do you say, Josh?”

I stare at his hand, an incredulous look on my face. “What? No Joshy?”

He frowns. “I think they’re right. I think it’s time for us to call a truce.”

I bite back a scathing remark. The truth is that they’re all right. Holding on to this grudge is pointless. We’re brothers now, whether we like it or not. I grip his hand and shake hard. “Fine. Truce.”

Olivia’s hand flies to her face, and she lets out a delighted sound. It’s like she thinks we hugged or promised to love each other forever or something. But all we did was reluctantly shake hands. The next thing I know she’s pulled me into her bosom and is squeezing me hard. With my hands pinned to my sides, I gasp for air.

“We’re going to be such a happy family,” she gushes before releasing me.

I don’t know what she’s smoking, but I really wish she’d share.

“Thanks, son.” Dad drapes an arm over my shoulder, while Olivia embraces her son.

Once the lovefest ends, I back away from them. “So…is this over? Can I get back out to Talia?”

“You and her are pretty tight, huh?” Chris asks, eyebrows arched.

I think about how complicated things are between Talia and me. About how this entire thing was a rouse. But then I think about how close we’ve become; how much I like her. “Yeah.” I smile. “We are.”

His head bobs up and down in appreciation. “Cool.”

“It is cool,” I respond, thinking about how that was the most civil conversation I’ve ever had with Chris. My gaze lands on Dad. “So, we’re done here?”

“Yes, we’re done here, son.”

Thank god. Exhaling, I spin around and hurry out to Talia, praying that she’s waiting for me like she said she would be.

Cal spins Taylor around the dance floor. She throws her head back and giggles. The smile on his face betrays how much he likes to make her laugh. Fluttering her lashes, she moves in close to him and presses her cheek to his chest. All traces of teasing and joking around flee as he tugs her close and gently plants a kiss on her forehead. My heart pinches. Palmer used to do that. I always thought it was the sweetest gesture.

As I sit in the folding chair waiting for Josh to come back, I continue to watch Cal and Taylor. Their presence seems to command my attention. It’s obvious how much in love they are. Not that I needed to witness this to know that. Cal dating Taylor, even though she was pregnant with another guy’s baby, was proof enough for me. No guy would do that unless he was head over heels for the girl.

I remember when Ashley was totally in to Cal. She talked about him nonstop, even befriended Emmy to be close to him. It bordered on obsession, and it worried me a little. However, I also understood why she chose Cal. He’s always been a good guy. Observing him with Taylor only confirmed that.

Maise and Emmy saunter over, and Cal releases Taylor. Then he grabs his mom’s hands and begins dancing with her. Emmy and Taylor don’t miss a beat. They start gyrating their hips while laughing and talking the way best friends do.

Ashley and I used to be like that many years ago. Before she became Queen Bee. Before popularity ruined us. Often I forget about the good times. The bad times are closer, the memories more fresh. But once upon a time we had a lot of fun. We even cared about each other quite a bit.

Sighing, I glance around, picking at a thread on my dress.

“Ready to pick up where we left off?” Josh’s voice startles me.

But not in an unpleasant way. I’m grateful for his return. Smiling, I peer up at him. “Yep.” Reaching for his hand, I leap up.

He ushers me out onto the dance floor and then places his arms around my waist. As his fingertips dance over my back, I grip him around the neck. His skin is warm and a little damp, the ends of his hair curling slightly from the heat. The scent of flowers waft under my nose.

“What did your dad need you for?” I ask, curious.

He shrugs, darkness flashing in his eyes. “Oh, you know. Family stuff.” His tone doesn’t match what I see in his eyes.

“Anything you want to talk about?” I don’t know why I push it. I’m aware that Josh hates when people try to force him to talk about things he doesn’t want to. But for some reason I can’t help myself. Maybe it’s because he’s been so different lately. He’s made me believe that he might have turned over a new leaf. Plus, he pretty much confessed that he cared about me. That’s huge for Josh. And even though deep down I know it’s probably not true, a part of me wants to test it out. To see if it is.

“Not really.” His gaze shifts around in agitation.

My heart dips. At least he’s not lashing out at me. That’s something. However, he’s not opening up to me either. “If you decide you do want to talk, I’m all ears,” I say, determined to keep the mood light. It seems like what he needs right now.

“Ah, like Dumbo?” he quips, reminding me of the old Josh.

I know it’s only a joke, but for some reason it makes me self-conscious about my ears. I have been told they were large before. Instinctively, one of my hands leaves Josh’s shoulder and touches my earlobe. “Yeah. Maybe that’s the reason Hayes didn’t want me.” It’s the wrong thing to say, and I have no idea what possessed me to say it. Bringing up Hayes in this moment bordered on stupid. Hell, it didn’t even border on stupid. It was stupid.

Josh’s arm juts out. I flinch, half-expecting him to shove me away and stalk off. That is his usual MO. But he doesn’t. Instead, he gingerly takes my hand away from my ear placing it back on his free shoulder. Then he places both hands over my ears, his thumbs gently caressing the soft skin. It causes a chill to snake down my spine and goosebumps to rise along my arms. “Your ears are not big, Talia. In fact, they’re rather small. Hayes is an idiot if he didn’t want you.” I snort in disbelief. “It’s true. He chose the wrong girl, plain and simple.”

Wriggling out of his grasp, I wonder if I heard him wrong. There’s no way I can think straight with his fingers rubbing on my sensitive ears. “But he chose Ashley,” I speak slowly.

“I know,” he answers deadpan, reaching for me again. Looping his arms around my middle, he tugs me forward.

I catch his eye. “But you said he chose the wrong girl, and he chose Ashley, the girl you want.”

“Wrong.” Leaning down, he speaks into my ear. “She’s definitely not the girl I want.”

I shiver, but stay still. I know I should pull away, but I can’t. It feels good to be in his arms, to have him close. “She’s not?” I finally squeak out, his breath still hot on my cheek.

“No.” His lips lightly brush my face as he draws back. “I haven’t for awhile.” Staring deep into my eyes, he licks his lips, and I find myself imagining them pressed to mine. “Talia, I thought I made it clear to you the other night that you’re the girl I want.”

Part of me wants to lunge at him, to kiss him, to tell him I want him too. But I know I can’t do that. One, because I’m not sure if he’s the guy I want. A few days ago I was sure I wanted Hayes. How can I be certain the way I’m feeling for Josh in this moment is real? That it’s not just a rebound? And how can I trust what he’s saying?

“No, I’m not,” I finally say, my shoulders drooping. The music changes to a fast song, but I suddenly don’t have the energy to keep the beat. I step away from Josh and head back to the table.

His hand reaches out, his fingers closing around my wrist. “Yes, you are. Why don’t you believe me?”

I chuckle bitterly. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because we’ve just spent the past couple of months pretending to be a couple in order to be with other people.” Lifting my head, I look into his eyes. “Josh, I know you. You like a challenge. And right now I’m a challenge. But the minute I’m not, you won’t want me anymore.”

“That’s not true. If a challenge is what I wanted, I’d still be going after Ashley.”

His logic might work on someone else, but I’ve gotten to know him too well. “Ah, but you’re too smart to keep going after a girl you know you can never have. Ashley’s made it clear that she’s off limits. I’m a challenge that you think you might actually win.”

His face grows serious. “This isn’t a game to me. I want to be with you. Not because I think you’re a challenge or because I can’t have Ashley. I want you simply because of you. Because I’ve fallen for you.”

It’s the words I’ve been dying to hear all year. The problem is that I always pictured them coming out of Hayes’s mouth. Since they’re coming out of Josh’s, it all seems wrong, and I don’t know how to reconcile it.

“Um…” Grabbing a strand of my hair, I twirl it around my finger.

“You’re nervous,” Josh says. “You always do that when you’re nervous.”

Releasing my hold on the strand, it falls, fanning over my chest. “You’ve noticed that.”

“I’ve noticed everything about you. The way you mouth the words to your favorite songs when you drive, the way you bite your lower lip when deep in thought, the way you scratch the back of your neck when you’re uncomfortable.”

My head spins. Hayes never even noticed all those things about me. How is it possible that the guy who does is Josh Easton? He’s the guy that tosses girls aside like trash on a weekly basis, and here he is acting like some hero in a romance novel. I have no idea what’s going on. Blowing out a ragged breath, I take a couple of steps back.

“I…um…I think I should go.” Nodding, it’s like I’m trying to coach myself on what to do next. “Yeah, I’m gonna go.”

Josh opens his mouth as if he’s going to protest, but then he clamps it shut and simply nods. Before he can stop me, I snatch my purse off the table and hurry toward the parking lot.

***

Body sagging, I walk into my house and toss my purse on the ground near the front door. Then I kick off my shoes. One of them whacks against the wall with a thud. The scent of marinara sauce lingers in the air, and I wonder if Mom made her famous lasagna tonight. Even though I ate at the wedding, I’m certain I can cram in a few more bites if that’s the case. The house is quiet. The only sound is the ticking of the clock on the wall, so I surmise that my family went somewhere. Maybe out for ice cream. We do that a lot.

I think about texting them, but I’m actually glad for some alone time after the day I’ve had. My emotions have been all over the place. Perhaps some quiet, maybe a little lasagna, will help me put things in perspective.

“Hey.”

Leaping back, a shriek escapes through my lips. Clutching my chest, my heart beats erratically under my palm. Breathing deeply, I stare at my sister who is sitting up peering at me from behind the couch cushions. “Anna, you scared the crap outta me.”

“Sorry, I was lying down reading when you came in.” She holds up her kindle as if to prove it to me.

“Where are Mom and Dad?” I ask, shuffling into the family room. When I reach the couch, I sink down into it, grateful for the softness of it. After sitting all day in folding chairs, this feels like heaven.

“They went out for drinks.”

“And you didn’t want to go with them?” I tease.

“I might have wanted to, but I’m not old enough.” She winks, her gaze lowering to my dress. “So, how was the wedding?”

“You know,” I say, offering a conspiratorial look. “It was a wedding.”

“I can’t believe Olivia and Dan are finally married. Don’t you think it’s romantic? I mean, they were in love, then they were with other people, but eventually they found their way back to one another.” With a swoony look on her face, she places her hand over her heart.

I roll my eyes. “You read way too many romance novels.”

She pins me with a challenging stare. “You can’t tell me you don’t think it’s romantic.”

“Actually, I can tell you that,” I say. “In theory, it sounds romantic. But that’s because you’re not taking into account all of the other people in their lives. By being together, they’ve hurt a lot of other people.”

“Like Josh?”

I nod. “Yeah, like Josh.”

Gone is the fantasy look she wore a few minutes earlier. Her face sobers up, and she leans forward, resting her head in her hands. “Was today really hard on him?”

“Yeah,” I say softly. “I think it was.”

“It’s a good thing you were there for him then.”

I toss her words around in my head, wondering if that’s true. At first I thought it was. I felt like my presence had given him strength. And I was glad I went, if for no other reason than that he would’ve been alone if I hadn’t. When I made that quip to him about inviting a different girl from his little black book, I was only half-joking. I actually assumed he would invite someone else. But to my surprise he didn’t.

However, at the end of the night I wasn’t sure if I helped or hindered things. Rejecting him and running off probably wasn’t the smartest move.

“You know,” Anna continues, “when you first brought Josh around I kind of thought your relationship was fake. I had kinda overheard a couple of conversations that made me think you two were just playing some kind of game.” Her cheeks color as if she believes what she’s saying is stupid. “I mean, you seemed to still be hung up on Hayes, and sometimes I caught Josh staring at Ashley at school. So I kinda thought maybe…you guys were together just to try to make them jealous.” She giggles into her hand. “Now you can tell me I read too many romance novels, right?” Lifting her head, she drops her hand to her side. “But now I know how silly my theory was. It’s clear when you and Josh are together that you really care about each other.”

“No, you were right, actually,” I blurt out, grateful to finally be honest. “As silly as your theory seems, it’s actually correct.”

Her eyes widen. “But that can’t be. I’ve seen you together. I’ve watched Josh over here. Trust me, he’s not into anyone else. And neither are you.”

“I hate to burst your bubble, Anna, but it’s true.”

“He must be the best actor in the world, and you have totally missed your calling,” she says sarcastically. “Hollywood, here she comes.”

I want to laugh, but she kind of seems angry. It makes me regret telling her. Why did I, anyway? She’s probably going to spill to Mom and Dad. My chest tightens, realizing I can’t let that happen. What would they think of me? “Please don’t say anything to anyone, okay? Especially not Mom and Dad.”

“I won’t,” Anna says earnestly, and I’m a little surprised at how easily she agrees. “Because I don’t buy it.”

“Anna,” I start, but she cuts me off.

“I believe you that it began that way,” she clarifies. “But I don’t think that’s the case anymore.”

“You’re right, because the game is over. We lost. Hayes and Ashley are still together. They don’t want us.”

“How do you know that for sure?” Anna sits straighter, looking at me intently.

I sigh, pondering how much I should share. Then I decide to just spill everything. What do I have to lose at this point? Playing with my hands in my lap, I stare at the ground, unable to meet Anna’s eyes. “I talked to Hayes a few days ago. I told him everything, and he told me he loves Ashley.”