Playboy - A Stepbrother Romance (14 page)

Honestly, I was afraid she’d think that being with me after something like this was too much for her to handle. I was used to being stalked and harassed by the media, and I was used to having my day-to-day life plastered all over the gossip sites…but she wasn’t. I wouldn’t blame her if it was too much for her, and I wouldn’t blame her if she wanted to end things with me before they went further because of it.

I just wanted a few more days alone with her before she made that sort of decision about us. Even if she ended up deciding that this sort of high-profile, constantly scrutinized life wasn’t for her, I’d still have these next few days to remember, and it’d be worth it just for those memories.

As I considered that, a stark realization dawned on me.

Shit. I was totally, completely and utterly in love with her…and maybe a tiny part of me always had been.

Chapter 16

Anya

An hour later, we were well on our way to the cabin Cam had promised to take me to. I knew running away was the coward’s way out of our situation, but I just couldn’t face up to everything right now. It had been stressful and humiliating enough simply telling Kara about the accidental sex tape, even though I’d known she’d understand. I couldn’t even imagine how my Mom and Pierce would react…let alone everyone else in the world. Burying my head in the sand might not be the right choice, but it was all I wanted to do for the next few days.

I turned to Cam. “Where did you say this cabin was again?” I asked.

He kept his eyes on the road. “In the Adirondacks. It’s pretty rustic. No landline or internet, although we’ll still get cell signal. But don’t worry, I have this app that can stop our phones being tracked by GPS. I’ll download it onto your phone when we stop to stretch our legs.”

“Okay. Does the cabin have electricity?”

“Yeah, it’s not
that
off the grid,” he said with a grin. “Don’t worry.”

“So did your Mom give it to you?”

His smile faded. “Sort of.”

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it,” I said, sensing that my mention of his mother might’ve upset him. All I knew about her was what my Mom had told me; that she’d left Pierce when Cam was only a baby.

He sighed. “It’s okay. It’ll probably do me some good to talk about it, and there’s no one else I’d rather talk about it with.”

I reached over and put my hand on his thigh, and he continued.

“She left my Dad when I was only five months old. When I was growing up, he never really told me why. He just said she was sick and she had to leave. Now I know why he was so vague about it. He didn’t want to make her look like a bad person and tell me the real reason, in case that upset me.”

“What was the real reason?”

“She had…problems,” he replied. “She was pretty wild and crazy when she was young, and eventually she developed a problem with drugs. She kept it hidden from my Dad for ages, but not long after I was born, she spiraled into an even worse state, and he figured it out. He tried to make her go to rehab, but she refused. She said she simply didn’t want to have a baby and wasn’t ready to look after one. She said I’d been a mistake. Then she left, and my Dad didn’t even know where she’d gone.”

“That’s awful,” I said softly.

“Yeah. It always bothered me that he was so vague about what had happened to her, and one day when I was eighteen, I made him sit down and tell me the truth. So he did. Despite everything he’d told me, I wanted to find her, just so I could look her in the eyes and ask her if she was happy after abandoning us.”

“Did you find her?”

“No. I found her family. They told me that she’d died five years before I’d gone to see them. They’d tried to get in touch with me earlier to let me know, but they couldn’t get through to me seeing as Dad had blocked all contact with them so he wouldn’t ever be reminded of her. He actually didn’t even know she was dead.”

“Oh…god. That’s horrible.”

My heart ached for Cam as he continued with his story. I’d never had any idea he’d suffered through so much emotional pain. He always seemed so happy and was always quick to respond to anything with a joke, when in reality, he’d been hiding this secret heartache the whole time.

“Yeah. I was just about to start college at the time. I was pretty fucked up for a while after finding out. Started partying heaps, ended up dropping out of college a few weeks after it started. I just couldn’t face anything for a while. Dad was pissed that I’d dropped out, but I think he understood what I was going through. He’s always been good like that.”

He took a deep breath and then continued. “He helped me out as much as he could. Asked me what else I wanted to do, if I didn’t want to go back to college, and he helped me get the racing gig. I’ve always liked driving. The faster I go, the calmer I feel, as weird as it sounds.”

“Did he get you the modeling jobs too?”

He shook his head. “No, I did that on my own.”

“Oh. So what about the cabin? How did that happen?”

“My Mom’s family said she’d been living there for the last few years trying to get clean and sort herself out. Apparently she’d finally realized how awful it was to abandon me and Dad, and she’d been planning on finding us and apologizing. Before she could, she got sick with pneumonia and died. I guess her immune system was kinda fucked up from all the years of drugs.”

“And that’s why you’re so against drugs.”

“Yeah. Anyway, they said they wanted me to have the cabin. They said it would’ve been what my Mom wanted. It’s a nice spot, so sometimes I go up there to relax and clear my head.”

“Won’t your Dad know where we are, then?”

Cam shook his head. “No. He doesn’t know about the cabin. When I told him that I’d gone looking for her, he didn’t want anything to do with it. I don’t blame him for that. But yeah…he knows that she’s dead now, because I told him that much, and that’s it. He didn’t want to know where she’d been, he didn’t want to speak to her family…nothing. So he has no idea about the cabin.”

“I see. I’m so sorry, Cam. I wish you could’ve found your Mom and talked to her before she died.”

“Yeah, same. I think about it a lot. I picture her in my head and make up conversations between us. I pretend she did apologize to me for it all, and that I forgave her. But obviously I never had the chance.”

“So you wanted to forgive her?”

He nodded. “Yeah. It affected me growing up; not having a Mom and all. I was mad as hell at her at first when I found out why she’d left, but in the end, I was willing to let it go if she was truly remorseful, just so I could just have some sort of relationship with her.”

“Wherever she is now, I’m sure she knows you forgive her for what she did,” I said. Cam grunted in response.

We fell into silence for a while, neither of us knowing quite what to say on the subject anymore. Cam’s story had been so sad that I’d momentarily forgotten the reason we were on our way to the cabin in the first place, but snippets of my earlier mistake began to flash through my mind within a few seconds of being silent.

I couldn’t believe what an idiot I’d been. How could I have forgotten to turn my webcam off? I cringed at the thought of over a million people watching me sleep with my stepbrother, and I cringed even more at the thought of what I’d possibly done to Cam’s image.

I guess I could safely say I was a terrible career manager.

Somewhere around half past two in the morning, Cam turned his car into a narrow, tree-lined road that came off the main road we’d been on, and two minutes later, we pulled to a stop in front of an old wooden cabin. His earlier description of the cabin as rustic was definitely apt; the place looked like it had been built over a hundred years ago.

It was still nice, though, and I was willing to bet it would look even nicer in the light of day. Either way, it was the perfect place to escape to for a few days while we were waiting for our step-scandal to die down a bit.

I thought back to the Maddy Carver cousin scandal and cringed even more. That had gone on for months…and here I was hoping our scandal would only last a few days.

“Can you get the door?” Cam said before tossing me a key.

I walked over to the cabin’s front door and unlocked it as Cam hauled our bags in from the car, and I fumbled in the dark for a light switch.

“Wow,” I said, gazing around as light flooded the cabin.

It was small but cozy, and it had a surprisingly modern-looking interior. A fireplace sat on one end of the place in what appeared to be a small lounge room adjacent to a kitchen, and a short passageway led to what I soon discovered was a bedroom and bathroom.

“This is pretty much it,” Cam said, putting our bags down at the end of the bed. “It’s tiny, but hopefully you think it’s good enough.”

“It’s perfect,” I said softly, taking his hand and squeezing it in mine. “As long as you’re here, it’s perfect.”

He smiled. “Do you want to go straight to bed, or should I light a fire first? I know it’s late, but after the day we’ve had, a drink in front of the fire might be nice. I have some wine here somewhere.”

“That sounds great,” I said. “It reminds me of how in all those old, romantic movies, the couple always ends up together on a bearskin rug in front of a fire.”

“Well, I don’t have a bearskin rug, but the rug that’s there is still soft enough,” he said with a wink.

I changed into warm pajamas as he got a fire going and poured us some wine, and fifteen minutes later, we were curled up together by the fireplace.

“Cam,” I said in a soft voice, averting my eyes from his in shame. “I know I already said this, but I’m really sorry about what I did. I’ve wrecked everything.”

“You haven’t,” he replied. “I have you here with me. That’s the most important thing right now. Screw everything else.”

He was so sweet, so understanding. After all the stupid and bitchy things I’d done since he walked back into my life, I really didn’t feel that I deserved him treating me so well.

After finishing his drink, Cam lay back on the soft white rug in front of the fire, and I joined him.

“See?” he said. “It’s not so bad. We have each other, and a nice big fire…and a nice big rug…”

I knew where this was going, and I smiled as he slid an arm around me and pulled me closer. I leaned in, planting my lips on his, and moments later, we were naked and wrapped in a passionate embrace. This time, we didn’t go fast and hard. It was slower, more sensual than earlier, and it was every bit as good as before.

Deep down I could sense my feelings for Cam growing and growing, like a fire that wouldn’t go out; one that grew a little every time a small gust of wind stoked it. That fire had been there since we’d first met, and in the past, I’d tried to quell those flames, but I’d never been able to do so completely…and thank god for that. In just one day, I’d gone from being single and alone to having him back in my arms, and I knew I’d made the right choice.

He was mine, and I was his.

Right now, that was all that mattered.

Chapter 17

Cam

The hours Anya and I spent at the cabin melted into days, and soon we’d been there for almost a week, doing nothing but talking to each other, hanging out, even bathing together in the tiny tub in the bathroom. I’d only left the house once to pick us up some groceries from a tiny general store in the closest town, and luckily, no one there seemed to have recognized me.

Our phones had reception out here at the cabin, and they’d practically been ringing off the hook, but we hadn’t answered a single call. We’d both texted our parents to let them know we were safe, and that had only poked the bear. Dad had sent me a torrent of abuse in return, and Christina had done much of the same to Anya.

So much for escaping their wrath.

Right now, it was a Tuesday, and I’d just woken up. A familiar chill was in the air, and I rubbed my eyes and looked out of the window.

“Anya,” I said, gently shaking her. “Wake up. Look outside.”

“Mm…no,” she grumbled. “Let me sleep.”

“It’s snowing,” I said. “Weren’t you saying yesterday that you were hoping it’d snow soon?”

She was wide awake now. “Yes! I love snow.”

“Do you wanna build a snowman?” I sang in a dumb little parody of that Frozen movie everyone seemed so obsessed with these days.

Anya rolled her eyes. “I’d rather have a snowball fight, seeing as you woke me up.”

“Are you sure you wanna challenge me?” I asked, flexing my muscles.

She flashed me a mischievous smile and flicked one of my biceps. “I think I’ve already proven that it doesn’t matter how big you are…”

“It’s how big you play,” I finished. “Yes, I remember you telling me that
very
well. It’s kind of hard to forget, given that it was prefaced by a horny old man coming into my hotel room looking to score.”

She snickered. “I want to say I’m sorry, but…”

“But it was hilarious?”

“Yep.”

“It was,” I said. “But I’m gonna get you back. I’m gonna bury you in this snowball fight.”

“Game on,” she said, getting out of bed and pulling on some warm clothes.

I shook my head. “Take those clothes off. They’re only gonna get wet and dirty. This fight happens in our underwear, or it doesn’t happen at all.”

“Do you want frostbite?” she asked, crossing her arms.

“We won’t be out there for that long. But if you’re too scared…” I let my voice trail off, and Anya’s cheeks turned pink.

“I’m not scared,” she said, taking off her jeans, jacket and top. “Well, come on then!”

As soon as we got outside, we realized what a terrible idea it was to be out here in the freezing cold in only our underwear, but neither of us wanted to forfeit the snowball fight. It was nice to be able to act like immature little kids once in a while and pretend like we didn’t have all these adult responsibilities back home.

I scooped up a handful of snow and chased Anya around the back of the cabin, and she shrieked and dodged it as I launched it in her direction. As I picked up another handful, I saw her duck behind the small shed that stood out by the back of the cabin, and I called out to her. “Careful! Last time I was here, I saw a bear right where you’re hiding!”

She peeked out from behind the shed. “You mean like the bear that’s right behind you now?”

“What?” I turned my head over my shoulder, and a second later, a snowball hit me full force in the chest. “You sneaky little…”

I chased Anya around again, and by the time we were both ready to admit that we were freezing to death, I’d relented. She’d won fair and square, having hit me with four snowballs as opposed to my measly one.

I picked her up and carried her back over to the cabin in my arms, and she looked up at me as she wrapped her arms around my neck.

“After we get cleaned up, I think we should head back home,” she said in a soft voice. “It’s time. We can’t just hang around here acting like children and having snowball fights forever. Besides, I can’t keep missing my classes, as much as I don’t want to go to them at the moment.”

I carefully put her down in the kitchen and sighed. “I know,” I replied. “You’re right. We can’t keep hiding for the rest of our lives.”

Neither of us were looking forward to what faced us back in the city, and we fell into silence as we packed and cleaned everything up. When we were done, I hauled our bags out to the car, and Anya locked the cabin before taking a few steps back and looking at it with a wistful expression on her face.

“Well,” she said. “I guess it’s finally time to face the music…”