Playing Fate (Endgame Series Book 1) (6 page)

“Don’t play that game. Deacon.”

“He doesn’t. I’m just the new girl. He’s curious.”

“It’s more than that. I wouldn’t get invested. Since getting over Adriane, he’s devoted his life to Julie. There’s no room for anyone else.” Her nose wrinkles in disgust, her haughtiness apparent. Her hurt over Deacon’s disappearance from their lives seems to manifest itself into bitchiness.

“Peeing on his leg would prove the same point, Emberlee. You’ve warned me, I’ve told you there is no reason for you to worry. What else do you want?” She deflates . . . maybe she is human.

“I didn’t mean to come off as a bitch. I’m just protective of him.”

“And Adriane. I heard you and Avery.”

“That ship has sailed. There’s no hope for them, and I don’t want her to have a chance to hurt him again. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t envious of her and her choices. To walk away from everything. I’m not that strong.”

“You may surprise yourself, Emberlee.”

“Lee Lee.” She winks at me. “I just want you to be careful. He looks at you in a different way. He’s not curious—he’s interested, and I don’t know you that well, so I don’t know if you can handle his life.”

“Understood . . . but don’t worry. I won’t be second to anyone.”

She nods, “And you always would be to Julie.” She almost sounds sorry. “If y’all hooked up you may bring him around a bit more.” Her forlorn look erases her past behavior towards me. They’re all hurting in their own way, but from what I’m clueless.

“Night, Lee Lee.”

“Night, Shortstop.” She giggles, and I sigh in relief. Maybe things will turn around for us. Classes start in three days, and my focus can’t be anywhere else. My scholarship and future depend on it.

It was good to be a nineteen-year-old for the night. The past four months have been a whirlwind. My entire life was flipped on its axis and spun out of control . . . yet I wouldn’t change it for anything. Adriane leaving. Julie taking over my life. My parents in my business when they should be letting go. I’m adjusting; I am getting into the groove of things. I need to learn to juggle school and baseball. With Julie. It’s been a bit of a struggle with summer training, but next week we begin fall practice— make it or break it time.

Baseball used to be my first love—the only thing I dreamt of. My position is grueling; my mind has to be one hundred percent in the game, and last season it wasn’t. Sure, our team still went to playoffs, but I’m worried how I’ll perform this year. College level is a whole new challenge. The practice, the time frame to hone a team to be cohesive—the hours and games mixed with classes and grades. It’s more demanding than going to the majors . . . which wasn’t an option for me. Part of me wanted to give up the game, my dreams and goals crushed. But Mason is like a kid who got his Halloween candy stolen by a bully—he can pout worse than a two-year-old. He and Caden gave up the majors for me, and I couldn’t let them down. It’s been us three on the field together since we started playing . . . we owned that diamond. I just don’t want to let anyone else down.

Saylor Lewis. Another distraction. One I don’t want to shy away from.

She’s guarded . . . yet fierce.

Strong . . . yet vulnerable.

Intriguing . . . yet bashful.

A whole shitload of oxymorons.

Each time I think she’s going to remove a brick that surrounds her, she clams up. Tonight’s a perfect example. I know she wasn’t tired or under the weather; her feeble attempt to pretend otherwise didn’t fool me. She stayed in the living room while we joked and laughed, and no matter how much we tried to draw her in, she couldn’t be swayed. Yet, she didn’t leave. It’s like she has one foot in, and the rest of her body is primed to flee.

Her response doesn’t go unnoticed, but she won’t let it happen. She’s fighting herself, and it’s a battle she’ll lose. I haven’t begun charming her. I’ve had my share of girls, during and in between my relationship with Adriane . . . something neither of us hid. I’m not proud of my behavior, but if she were the one for me, I wouldn’t have strayed. I won’t place blame on her for my wandering dick, but she didn’t keep her legs closed to others either—until the last year when we decided to give it an honest try. Her parents were riding her to calm down, plan her future. Apparently I was the one thing that pleased them, until it blew up in our face.

I don’t miss her. I don’t miss what we had. I am pissed at her choices; she can’t take those back. She hasn’t tried. She did what she wanted—leaving everyone close to her for the great yonder without a backwards glance or second thought. Her decisions affected everyone. Emberlee is the one who took it the hardest. From the cradle, those two were hand-in-hand. Avery is more genuine and saw through her bullshit, which makes me wonder how she and Lee Lee remained so close. Adriane did what she wanted, when she wanted—repercussions be damned.

Shaking my head to rid me of those thoughts, I set my alarm to get a run in before heading to my parents’. This back and forth shit is getting old, and part of me wonders if it’d be easier just living there, but I need this. I need to feel like I’m being responsible even if they’re footing the bill. I need to know I can take care of Julie.

Classes kicked my ass. Practice killed me. Julie gives me purpose. Saylor gives me a reason to smile. I’ve seen her quite a bit, wandering the campus…alone. I asked Caden to keep an eye on her, and his clipped,
‘I’m handling it’
unnerved me. Why was he watching her? He knows we don’t cock-block each other . . . that’s not cool. Throwing my bag down in the dugout, I stare at him.

His hands lift up, and he waves his white towel in front of him. “I didn’t do it. Shit, Deacon you’re looking a bit murderous.”

“Why are you keeping an eye on Saylor?” I’m irrational, and it ticks me off. I’ve been the one out of us to keep my cool, maintain control. Something about this girl . . .

His eyes dart to the players in the dugout, and I can’t see who they zeroed in on because Coach Gill yells, “Come on ladies, time to get dirty.”

“This isn’t over,” I seethe.

“Relax, DD. I’m not after your girl. She’s always alone, and I don’t like it.”

I nod and stare at him. Damn right he isn’t after her. Friendship be damned—I’d kick his ass. I mentally kick my own ass; this is my best friend. Moody, quiet, relaxed . . . that’s Caden. Loyal as fuck. We’ve all been raised together, and she’s the outsider. None of us have ever been alone—and she’s somehow become one of ours. “Thanks. Sorry for the meltdown.”

“Yeah, it must be your time of the month. I’ll stop and pick up some ice cream and tampons for you.” He winks and blows me a kiss. Smart-ass. “Seriously, I know you’re surviving on coffee and energy drinks. I’ve got you, man.”

“Always.” I fist bump him and take my position. The familiarity of the diamond soothes me. Closing my eyes, taking a deep breath, I let this week fade and breathe in the smell of clay, the feel of it under my cleats. I have two days of no classes, no practice—just me and my girl, Julie. I’ll figure out a way to bring Saylor into the mix.

I’m still unsure of her meaning to me. She piques my interest. She makes me want to put her under my arm and dare anyone to harm her. She makes me hard as steel. She makes me feel—irrational, possessive, protective . . . horny. Happiness, curiosity, and her smile, as infrequent as it makes an appearance, makes me crave it daily, be the reason it’s there.

Focusing on the task at hand, fielding, batting, running bases, catching, practice flies by. Grabbing my stuff, I want to hurry so I can shower before heading to my parents’. “You coming to the party tonight?” Mason spits his water next to my foot.

“Not tonight. I’m trying to get used to all this juggling.”

“You should have been a clown. I understand, but shit man, we miss throwing some back with you.” I contemplate calling my mom but decide against it.

Instead, I offer a compromise. “Next weekend. But do it Saturday and I’ll be there.”

“Deal.” His grin is swift, and it hits me in the gut that no matter what I do I’m failing someone. “Next week is our house. Tonight is the girls’ so it will be a bit tamer.”

“Keep an eye on them,” I remind him. Mason’s a great guy, just a bit irresponsible.

“Oh, I’ll be putting more than my eyes on Lee Lee.”

“TMI. Keep your business to yourself. It’s like hearing my siblings are fucking.”

“But we’re only children. If you had a sister, I’d tap that.”

I shake my head; his dick and his pitching arm are his prized treasures. I slap his back as I pass him heading to my Jeep. My parents are campaigning for a safer car, but I love it and refuse to give it up. Blasting the radio, riding with the top off, it all smells like freedom to me. I pull up at the same time Saylor is unloading stuff from her car. Hurrying to help her, knowing I’ll delay getting Julie, but not caring for just this moment. “I heard it’s your turn to host?” I startle her and grab the bag she lost her grip on.

“Yep.” Her tone is soft, yet clipped. Her mouth is pulled in a tight line, and it doesn’t suit her.

“Don’t sound so enthused.”

“I know. I’m lame. At least when it’s at Mason and Caden’s, I can escape. Here, I can lock myself in my room, but Avery and Emberlee don’t like that.”

“Not a party girl?” I know she isn’t, but I like teasing her.

“Not really. I like the occasional drink and music. It’s the socializing thing that makes me nervous.”

Placing the bag at my feet, I take her chin and turn her to me. “Saylor, you’re in college. Let down the walls and live this experience. You won’t get another chance.”

She meets my gaze, “So this means you’ll be here?” I hate seeing the flash of excitement knowing I’m going to dull it with disappointment.

“Not this week,” her eyes dim, and my gut clenches, “but next week I’ll be there. I promised Mason.” I flash a smile at her and hate when she doesn’t return it. She pulls her face from my hand and picks up the bag.

We unload the rest in silence, and something in her mannerisms doesn’t sit well with me. “You okay?”

“I’m fine, Deacon. Just wish I had an escape.”

I grab her hand, and she flinches. The first thing she needs to get used to is my touch. It’s gonna happen often. “If it gets too much for you, I do live two houses down.”

“Is that an invite?” Her eyes bore into mine.

“Is that why you’ve never ventured past the guys’ house?” I watch her drop her gaze and stare at the ground. “Shit, Saylor. You don’t need an invitation, but you have a standing one. Anytime you are welcome. Hell, I’ll get you a key if you want.” Whoa! Pump the brakes, Deacon.