Playing for Real: Paolo's Playhouse, Book 5 (13 page)

Richard tasted the eggs. “Delicious, my pet.” He cut a small piece, blew on it to cool the hot cheese, then fed it to Ingrid. Paolo concentrated on his omelet while the couple shared their breakfast. It was almost too intimate for Paolo to witness. An envious ache settled beneath his breastbone.

When they were done eating, Richard placed a soft kiss to the top of Ingrid’s head, then helped her to her feet. She silently cleared their plates and refilled their coffee cups.

“I’ll leave you two to talk,” she said, then looked at Richard. “I’d like to order some more samples this morning.”

He nodded and smiled indulgently. “Have fun shopping. Let me see what you decide on before you place the order.”

“Yes, sir.” She flashed a smile at Paolo. “Good to see you again.”

After Ingrid left the room, Richard turned to Paolo. “I’ve heard that after you turned Holly down, she’s decided to move away to be closer to her parents.”

“That is a relief. I was afraid she might cause more trouble.”

“The way I heard it, she found out how well you were doing and wanted to get in on some of that money she was certain you were throwing around.”

“Perhaps that was part of it. I fear she still does not know what she wants.” He took a sip of coffee. “I am glad she is going to look for it somewhere else.”

“How is it going with your Julianne?”

“Slowly.” Paolo paused. “No. Not really. I get impatient. A Dom should have more patience.”

“When we want something badly, patience can be difficult.”

He knew Richard would understand. “Exactly.”

“But I’m afraid you might be a little too eager.”

He frowned. “I know it has only been a couple weeks, but our time together has been intense.”

“Some things shouldn’t be rushed. Especially important things.”

“But when I know what I want, it is hard not to want to reach out and grab it.”

“I realize you may think you know what you want, but it may not be so simple. You know there are as many different relationships as there are couples, D/s or not.”

Paolo stared for a moment into his coffee cup, then looked up at Richard. “Is it so wrong to want what you and Ingrid have?”

“It’s wrong if it’s not what works for you and the woman you love.”

“Then I have to believe I will not fall in love with a woman who does not want the same things I want.”

“That didn’t work before, did it?” Richard asked softly. “If Julianne is important to you, you might have to make compromises.”

“Not about this.” Still, Paolo already couldn’t imagine his life now without Julianne. They hadn’t even talked about the future yet. If what she wanted would be even close to what he did. Would he be willing to make compromises to keep her?

Paolo stood. He’d thought coming here would give him the answers he needed. Firm up his convictions. But if anything, he was more confused than before. “I need to get back and get to work. Thank you for breakfast.”

Richard walked him to the door, then grasped Paolo’s shoulder before he could reach for the door knob.

“Do you love her? Your Julianne?”

“I think I could fall in love with her.” He probably already had.

His mentor tipped his head. “Only you can know what matters most. The woman. Or the ideal you have in your head.”

Paolo shook Richard’s hand and headed home, to the paperwork on his desk, to the tangle of sheets on his bed, and with no more answers than he had when he left.

Julianne spent Saturday in her office, losing herself in her work as she had the past couple days, hoping her subconscious would do her thinking for her. Stacey had left a couple messages in the past few days, but Julianne wasn’t in the mood to deal with her. Maybe later, when things were settled one way or another between her and Paolo, she could talk again with the woman who had been her best friend. Right now she felt as if she would have to pretend, to lie to Stacey about her life, and she never wanted to do that.

When she looked up from her desk, she was shocked to see she only had a couple hours before Paolo picked her up for their date.

As she showered, she thought back to their sessions this past week. Darker. More intense. Incredibly arousing. Tempting and a little bit scary as he took possession of her body.

Yet he’d held her tenderly all night long.

Would he be dominating even when they were with other people? Perhaps the more important question was whether she would submit to him when they were with other people.

The thought didn’t scare her like it used to. Instead she looked forward to being with him, letting him take the reins and worry about everything. Looked forward to seeing him, hearing his voice, smelling his unique scent, touching him, tasting him.

She dried her hair and pulled on some dressy jeans and a black tank. She’d pulled on black, heeled boots and added a multi-strand silver necklace and silver hoops when Paolo rang the buzzer. Excited tingles danced over her skin. She buzzed him in.

He looked mouthwatering in jeans and a gray T-shirt. Even dressed down, there was an air of authority around him.

“Julianne, you look wonderful.” Paolo drew her close and kissed her lightly.

She melted against him. “Hi. You look pretty good yourself.”

“Are you ready? I am looking forward to introducing you to Ben and Piper.”

“You’ve known them for a long time?” she asked as she grabbed her purse and a sweater.

“I have known Ben since college. He has been with Piper for a couple years now.”

“I’m looking forward to meeting your friends.” She locked the door behind them.

“There are some vacant office spaces on the second floor of the Warehouse,” Paolo said lightly as he followed her down the narrow staircase.

“What? Where did that come from?”

“Several spaces there would be perfect for your business. I can show them to you tomorrow.”

She stopped on the stairs, turned to look up at him on the step above her. “No.” As if she could afford any space in that building.

He frowned as he looked down on her. “Very well.” He skirted around her on the stairs until he stood one step below, then turned and blocked her way. Their faces were nearly even in that position. “There is an apartment in a building I own that recently became available close to the Warehouse. It has security, an elevator, and studio space that would give you much more room for your business.”

“I’m fine where I am, thank you.” He shouldn’t tempt her like that. It would be so easy to give in to him. So easy to let him take care of everything for her.

When they reached the foyer, Paolo took her into his arms. “I worry about you. Your safety. Your business.”

“I’m perfectly safe and my business is fine, thank you. I appreciate your concern, but I couldn’t move to one of those spaces even if I wanted to. They sound lovely, but even though my business is doing well, I could never afford that kind of rent.”

“You let me worry about that.”

She froze, pulled away from him. “No. My business. My apartment. My life. Those are my worries, not yours. You get my body a couple nights a week. You don’t get any say over the rest of my life.”

“Julianne.”

She’d let the last couple sessions get to her. She might like the way he commanded her during play dates, but that was as far as it could go. She’d never be a woman who couldn’t take care of herself. “I like you, Paolo. I like you a lot, but I can’t let you try to take over my life.”

“Take over your life?” He frowned. “You are overreacting. I mentioned a couple opportunities for you to have a larger, safer place to live and work. I didn’t order you to move.”

“You said you’d take care of my rent.”

“I didn’t…” He sighed. “I didn’t intend for it to sound that way, but perhaps it did.”

“Yeah, it did. It sounded like you wanted to set me up in a nice apartment in exchange for sex.”

“I never said that.”

“It was implied.”

His expression darkened. “It never was implied.”

How could she have forgotten how constantly controlling he was? He would never be able to keep from dominating her all the time. Well, she was more than his submissive. “This is a mistake. This whole thing is a mistake.”

“Julianne, we have gone over this before. I will never interfere with your business.” Paolo grasped her shoulders. “But I will look out for you. I will recommend your business to my friends and I will let you know if and when I can help you. I care about you. That is not a mistake.”

Was she overreacting? She sighed and leaned into him. “I’m sorry. It’s a sore subject.”

“I understand it is important for you to be able to take care of yourself. You are a strong woman. You have been taking care of everything for years. And doing a magnificent job of it. Look what you have done. Built a successful business doing something you love. There is nothing wrong with letting someone who cares about you help.”

Julianne took a deep breath. “Thank you for your concern, but I can’t afford space in your building. It’s as simple as that.”

“I understand. I am sorry I upset you.” He put his arm around her but she didn’t relax against him. “Are you ready to go now?”

She nodded. She was glad they were heading for a bar. Maybe after a drink or two she could start to relax again.

The limo was waiting at the curb. She slid all the way over in the seat and looked out the window. Paolo slid over until his thigh was touching hers.

“Are you angry at me,
cara
?”

She let out a quick huff. “No.”

“Yet you will not look at me.”

Slowly, Julianne turned her head as the car took off down the street. The look of concern on his handsome face made her lower her chin. He lifted it again with one finger.

“I would never offer or expect anything from you because we have had sex. We are dating. Yes? We are in a relationship. Yes?”

“Yes. But…”

He frowned. “But?”

She shifted in her seat to face him. “I don’t know how to be a sub and a girlfriend.”

“There is no difference. You are both. It is who you are.”

“I don’t know who I am when I’m with you.”

“Oh,
cara
.” He stroked her face lightly with the tips of his fingers. “You are Julianne. A strong, creative woman. A brave, passionate woman. That is who you are. Whether you are with me or not. Whether we are in a playroom or a restaurant or the local park. You are my Julianne.”

Tears prickled her eyes. He said all the right things, but she still felt unsettled. She would always be a submissive with him. Their relationship would never be equal.

“You want me to submit to you all the time.”

He slid his fingers through her hair and cupped the back of her head. She felt his possessiveness down to her soul “Yes.”

“But a relationship should be an equal partnership.”

“Rarely do couples share all their responsibilities equally. A successful relationship is whatever works for the people involved.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“Of course, I am.” He kissed her lightly. “We will work this out together.”

Shivery tingles danced along her skin. “I will admit I hunger to submit to you again.”

Paolo groaned. “Oh,
cara
. What you do to me.” He pulled her close and crushed her mouth with his. She opened to his probing tongue, let him invade her senses. When he pulled back, they were both breathing heavily. Paolo glanced out the window. “We have only a few more minutes. We must talk soon about what the future might be like for us.” He cupped her mound. “I wish you were wearing a dress instead of jeans.”

She should have thought he’d like to put his hand up her skirt. She’d like him to as well. “Sorry.”

“No reason for you to apologize. I did not tell you to wear a skirt.” He rubbed her between her legs. “However, I may have to forbid heavy pants like this that give me no access to a part of this body that I desire to have.”

“So no more jeans?” She pointedly looked at the blue denim encasing his thighs.

“I’ll reserve judgment because the way the denim cups your ass makes me hard.”

She laughed. “The way the denim cups your ass makes me wet.”

He pulled her close for another kiss. The limo slowed, stopped. “We’ve arrived at Scandals. We will have to postpone the rest of this conversation for another time.” Paolo helped her out of the car, then stopped to talk to Jack.

From the outside, Scandals looked like many other corner bars in the neighborhood. As soon as they walked in the door, Julianne could see this was a popular place. The majority of the patrons were in their twenties or thirties, but she noticed several older couples as well. Music played from a pulsing jukebox in the corner and the stools at the horseshoe-shaped bar were full.

Paolo took her hand and led her through the maze of tables until they reached a round table for four at the other side of the barroom. An attractive couple was already there, deep in conversation. The man smiled and stood when he saw them approach. The woman, a petite blonde with a pink stripe in her hair, jumped out of her chair and threw her arms around Paolo.