Playing in SECRET (Corrigan & Co. Book 9) (23 page)

“I can’t tell you
that, either. For me, I just decided I loved Cal too much to let our
future be dictated by our past. You won’t forget, but you have to
forgive. I want to be with him for the rest of my life, and if we
didn’t forgive each other—and ourselves—that could never
happen.”

“I’ve forgiven
him.”

“Now you need to
forgive yourself.”

“Me? I didn’t do
anything wrong.” Did I?

“You were that weak
girl who waited for him; you let him humiliate you. I know you
Audrey, and there is no way it doesn’t bother you when you think
about her. The teenage you who didn’t stand up for herself. You
need to remember that she wasn’t the real you yet. She was a scared
young girl who wasn’t equipped to handle what was happening to her.
You have to be strong enough to forgive yourself for being weak. Only
then can you move on.”

“When did you get so
wise?”

“When people tried to
humiliate me as an adult, and I couldn’t fight for myself because I
still blamed the girl I’d been over a decade before for making me
look weak enough to take down.”

“But they didn’t
take you down. You thrived.”

“Because of Caleb,
and all of you.”

“No. We all stood
with you, but it was you giving that speech and telling your story
that day. It was you who took back your history, and chose your
future. I’m so proud of you, Tegan. For that day, and for coming
here to tell me to get my shit together.”

“You mean so much to
all of us, Aud. You’ve loved and protected us through all these
years. I want you to see the woman that we all see. The woman we all
admire and love. Let Blake in, and give both of you the future you
two deserve.”

We’re both crying
now, and I know I’ll have to redo my makeup, but I don’t care. I
pull Tegan down onto my lap as she laughs. We hug each other tight
for a few minutes, and then she pulls back to look at me in
amusement.

“Thanks, Teeg. I mean
it. I knew everything you said already, but I needed to hear it.
Blake has to go on this publicity tour, but when he gets back, I want
to be ready to move forward with him.”

“Good. For the
moment, let’s just get you ready for the play. I’ll do your hair
while you fix your face.”

“Perfect.”

We finish up pretty
quickly, and then rush down to where Cal and Ethan are waiting in the
car. We make it to the theater with only a few minutes to spare,
taking our reserved seats next to Jeanne as the lights flicker. Blake
comes out to address the audience, and I swear his smile grows bigger
for both his daughter, and for me. I smile back and blow him a kiss,
which he catches and pretends to put in his pocket.

The play is amazing,
and the standing ovation afterwards is well deserved. I want to tell
Blake what a good job he did, but he’s surrounded by the cast and
their families, as well as some women who obviously don’t have kids
here, but came to the play for him anyways. Jeanne is with her dad,
but I don’t know my place, so I just lean against the wall and wait
my turn.

* * *

Blake

Everything went just as
planned tonight, and there’s only one thing that could make me
happier. Or more accurately, one
person
.
The woman who’s standing against the wall, looking unsure of
herself, while I accept congratulations and thanks from everyone
else. I’m more than happy to give time to the students, parents,
and teachers who approach me. The women who are here for me alone, to
show my appreciation for the ticket sales that go to the school, I
sign some autographs and take some pictures, but I want nothing else
to do with them.

I want my woman, and I
decide I can’t wait any longer for her. We fought last night, but
spending the night alone sucked. I need her to get past everything,
but I also need
her
.
If that means I have to suck it up, and ignore the fact that she’s
holding back a part of herself, then so be it.

I excuse myself from
the people surrounding me, and then walk with purpose to Audrey. She
sees me coming and walks forward a few steps, biting her lip. I cup
her face and kiss her hard. She holds my biceps and kisses me back
with just as much passion.

“What did you think?”
I ask once we’ve broken apart to get some air.

“It was brilliant.
You’re
brilliant.
I’m so proud of you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Then why were you
hiding over here by the wall?”

“I didn’t…I
wasn’t sure…if it was okay.”

I look at her in
confusion. “You weren’t sure if it was okay to be with me? That’s
always okay, Dree. I want you next to me whenever we’re in a room
together.” How can she not know that?

“Your fans won’t
like it,” she says, nodding behind me. “And I know you’re still
upset, even if you did send me that text.”

“They’re going to
have to learn to deal with it. As for last night, I don’t know how
to make myself any clearer to you, but I’m going to try again right
now. You’re
it
for
me, Audrey Sanchez. Those aren’t just words to me. I want to spend
the rest of my life talking to you, making love to you, and raising
our children with you. I want to grow old with you, and still be
shocking doctors when they walk in on us in the nursing home. Please
believe me, please.”

“I do. I want that,
too. All of it. I’m trying to get past my old insecurities. I plan
to work on them—maybe even talk to one of the Society shrinks—while
you’re gone. Once you come back after your premiere, I hope to have
made some progress.”

I close my eyes and
breathe a sigh of relief. Until part of what she just said hits me.
“We’ll see each other at the premiere, won’t we? I mean, I just
assumed you’d come. If you don’t want to…well, it’s not okay,
but I’ll deal.”

“There’s no way
Misha won’t show up.”

“So?”

“So you never take
anyone to a public event she’ll be at. You told me that yourself.”

“You’re not
‘anyone’, and I want you there with me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. I
planned something special for us, in fact.”

“You did?”

“I did, and all I’ll
say is that if it doesn’t prove to you just how much you mean to
me, I don’t know what will.”

“I love you,
Hollywood.”

“Love you too, Dree.”

“You should go back
and talk to everyone. They’re waiting for you.”

“
We
can go back over there, or they can come to us. I already told you, I
want you by my side,” I remind her, taking her hand and kissing her
one more time.

“Okay. We’ll go
over there since you’ve already taken time from them to come and
get me.”

I’m glad Audrey’s
going to work on her insecurities where I’m concerned. I get why
she feels the way she does, but she has to let go of our past if
we’re going to have a real chance at forever. I could just settle
for now, but she’s too perfect in every other way for me to do
that. We have the best talks, the best sex—she’s so damn funny
when she lets that side of herself out—and she has the biggest
heart of anyone I’ve ever known. Not to mention that fabulous mind
of hers. I would never be okay with giving her up, so forever is the
only option for us, and I’ll do whatever I can to prove that to
her.

Audrey

The last month has been
hard. I miss Blake, and I miss Jeanne, who went on the press tour
with him. We text throughout the day, and Skype when we can, but
that’s all I get. Electronic versions of them are nothing next to
the real thing. I watched every interview and stayed up late to see
all the coverage of the overseas premieres, where Jeanne shined in
the dresses Stella got her, but honestly, I’m usually crying by the
time the story changes to news on another celebrity. I blame it on
the hormones, but really, I just miss my man and his daughter.

I decided to go ahead
and get some outside help for my issues with Blake, and that’s been
going well. Just talking openly to someone who doesn’t know me or
him is like lifting a weight off of me. The doctor doesn’t judge
me, she just listens to me talk and cry, and then asks me thoughtful
questions. I know I’m in a better place than I was before—I’m
not completely where I want to be, but it’s a good start.

What’s not off to a
good start is my wardrobe. I’m supposed to be flying to L.A.
tomorrow for the premiere, but Stella hasn’t brought my dress over
yet. All I know about it is that she and our friend Quinn Wilson
worked on it together. Quinn designs retro looking clothes I love, so
I know it will be gorgeous. I just really want to have my fitting
today and then get on the plane tomorrow knowing everything is good.
I know Quinn is busy, but I still worry that she won’t have the
dress ready for me if it doesn’t fit today. I haven’t gained a
ton of wait, but my bump is definitely there. I can’t be late
tomorrow if it doesn’t fit, not when my date is the star of the
movie.

When my doorbell rings,
I practically fly down the stairs. Stella is standing on the other
side of the door with a smile on her face, but no dress in her hands,
and no Quinn with her. “Ready to go, Aud?”

“Where’s my dress?
And Quinn?”

“Quinn went on ahead
with the dress, and everyone else.”

“Why would she do
that? What if it doesn’t fit? And why did everyone else leave
today, too?”

If it’s a mess, Blake
won’t be able to take me, and then it will be like high school all
over again. No. I take deep breaths, like the doctor taught me to,
and bring my heart rate back down. Blake loves me, and we’ll make
the dress situation work no matter what. Stella has too many
connections for me to be without something to wear, and Blake will
want me on his arm, no matter what I’m wearing.

“Are you here with
me, Audrey?”

“Yes. I was panicking
a little, but I managed to calm myself down.”

“You have absolutely
nothing to worry about. Everything is going to be amazing. I
promise.”

“Okay. I trust you. I
really do.”

“I know. Let’s go
catch that plane, and get you to your man.”

“I didn’t know I
was going today. I’m not packed.”

“Everything you need
will be waiting for you. Now come on.”

I follow her out of my
apartment, even though she won’t answer any of my questions. Not on
the drive, or the plane, and she even tries to dodge me once we land,
too, but I stand firm. We didn’t land in Burbank like I was
supposed to tomorrow. We’re in San Diego, and I want to know why.

“Where are we going
from here? I’m not getting in the car until you tell me, Stell.”

“Fine. I will tell
you where we’re going, but only that. We are going to your parents’
house.”

“What? Why?”

“Nope. I shouldn’t
have even told you that much. Now get in the damn car.”

I glare at her, but I
get in. Neither one of us says a word as we’re driven to my old
neighborhood. I don’t speak, because I know she won’t answer my
questions. I think she’s quiet because she’s pissed off at me for
not just going along with whatever plan they all have for me. I’m
just so nervous, and being surprised scares me, but I shouldn’t
take it out on her.

“I’m sorry, Stell,”
I tell her when the car pulls up to the house. “I’m just scared.”

“It’s okay. You
have
nothing
to be
scared of.”

“I trust you.”

“I know. Let’s go
get your dress on you.”

We walk up to the door,
and my mother opens it before we can ring the bell. She looks even
more excited than Stella as she hugs me and leads us inside. I can
smell tamales cooking, and hear muffled voices through the closed
kitchen door.

“That is not your
concern,” she tells me, swatting my butt like she did when I was
little and trying to steal a cookie. “We’re going to your room.”

“Yes, Mama.”

She opens the door, and
then steps back. My mouth falls open as I see Quinn standing there
with the dress in her hand. It’s not just any dress, though. Even
though it’s been reworked, I recognize it as my prom dress from all
those years ago. It’s now strapless with the ruffles turned into
something more modern and asymmetrical, but there’s no doubt that
it’s the same dress.

“How? Why?”

“While you’re still
going to the L.A. premiere with Blake and Jeanne tomorrow, you’re
also going alone with Blake to a special premiere tonight. This one
was recently added to the original schedule,” Reina says from
behind me. She’s got on an apron, and it’s obvious that she’s
been cooking for at least a few hours. “It was twenty years ago
today that he was supposed to take you to prom, Audrey.”

“I know.” It’s
part of why I’ve been freaking out today. I just wasn’t going to
admit it to anyone—not even myself.

“This is your
do-over. You’re going to a movie premiere tonight, but it’s also
your prom.”

“The extra premiere
wasn’t on TV or online. I would’ve seen it.”

“Blake will explain
everything to you once you get dressed and ready for him.”

“Okay,” I say
nodding. “Dress me up, Quinn. Hurry, please.”

“There’s not that
big of a rush, Aud. He’s not going anywhere without you. Trust me
on that.” There’s a crash from the kitchen, and both Reina and my
mother curse in Spanish. “I need to get back in there. See you
soon.”

I turn back to Stella
and Quinn. Stella hands me a strapless bra with matching panties, and
I run into my closet to put them on. Everyone in the room has seen me
naked, and I’m definitely not shy, but I think my mother would be
embarrassed if I just took it all off in the middle of the room. Once
I have the lingerie on, I step out and into the heels Stella has
waiting for me. They’re similar to the sparkly rhinestone covered
ones I had originally, and I love them.