Playing With Fire (Firehouse Fourteen Book 2) (13 page)

Music from the jukebox filled the bar with the fast beat of a rocking country song. The crack of pool balls banging against each other echoed in the corner, followed by laughter and joking.

Angie looked up from the cooler and glanced over at the small crowd, a frown on her face.

Not everyone was laughing and joking.

She twisted the top from the bottle then pushed it across the bar toward Jay. He smiled his thanks but it was nothing more than a flat lifting of his lips as he lifted the bottle to his mouth and took a long swallow. He didn't bother to move from the barstool, where he had been perched for the last hour.

Angie glanced at the crutches propped next to him, then back over to the crowd in the corner where Jay's coworkers were gathered. Several of them were shooting pool, ribbing each other with each shot. A few others were huddled around one table, talking and joking.

Everyone except her brother.

Dave sat a few feet away, apart from everyone else, his chair tipped back against the wall. The expression on his face was blank, unreadable.

She didn't need to worry about other customers, because it was midweek and a slow night. There were less than a handful of people besides Jay's crew, and everyone was taken care of.

She wished it was crowded, that the room was teeming with people and noise and music and bustle. That would be so much better than now. The underlying tension was so thick, Angie could feel it from her place behind the bar. She sighed and pushed her hair behind her ears then leaned against the counter, her mind still whirling.

She hated the tension, hated the rift between Jay and Dave. Hated that she was the cause of it. But she had no idea what to do to make things right. Worse, she was afraid things would only deteriorate even more.

And that didn't even count the tension at home. She and Dave had barely spoken since the morning he had shown up at Jay's. No, that wasn't right. The tension had been brewing before then, the silence and strain finally coming to an explosive head that morning. And the tension was starting to wear on her, making her tired and edgy and miserable. Not just at him, but at work. And school. And here.

She sighed again and looked over at Jay, her guilt increasing as she watched him stare into the bottle, his mind elsewhere. Was the tension she was picking up on just between him and Dave? Or was it between him and the entire shift? She didn't think she could handle being responsible for that as well. The rift between Jay and her brother was bad enough.

"How's the ankle?"

"Fine."

"When are they going to let you go back to work?"

Jay shrugged and took another swallow of beer. "Next trick. I hope."

Angie nodded then toyed with the damp rag in her hand, needing something to do with her hands. She felt bad for thinking it, but she was glad he had the extra time off because they had spent much of it together.

Which somehow made her feel even guiltier. How wrong was it that she could enjoy spending time with him, when it was so obviously making things worse for him at work? And worse for her at home.

She glanced back over again at her brother and saw him watching them with a scowl on his face. One of the guys pushed against his arm and Dave turned away, leaning over to listen to whatever was being said. He shrugged then went back to leaning against the wall, his head tilted back and his eyes closed.

Angie sighed again.

"You don't have to keep me company, you know. You can go over and hang with them, I won't mind." And she didn't mind. She really didn't. She wanted Jay to go hang with his friends, wanted this tension she felt smothering everything around her to disappear.

"No, I'm good."

"Jay." She paused, trying to figure out what she wanted to say. No—how she wanted to say it. And she couldn't understand why she suddenly felt so uncomfortable, so unsure.

Jay was watching her, waiting for her to continue, a small frown creasing his face. That was another thing that bothered her: he seemed to be frowning more, instead of smiling that boyish half-smile that sent shivers of excitement racing through her. She leaned forward and placed her hand on his arm, squeezing gently. "You need to go hang with everyone. I can't handle all this tension, can't stand feeling like it's all because of me."

"Angie, stop worrying, there's no tension, okay?"

"Really? How can you say that? Just look!" She waved her hand, motioning between him and the corner, encompassing everything in-between. Jay snagged her hand mid-air and curled his fingers around hers before leaning down and kissing her knuckles.

"Angie, everything at work is fine, and the only tension is between me and Dave."

"And that's my fault."

"No, it's not. That all falls on Dave, okay? He'll eventually get over it."

"And if he doesn't?"

"Then that's on him as well." He leaned across the bar and brushed his lips against hers in a quick kiss that was no less heated for its brevity. He pulled back and offered a small smile, a real smile, and squeezed her hand. "If I go over there, will you stop worrying?"

She smiled back and nodded, but didn't say anything because anything she said would be a lie. She was going to worry, regardless. Because no matter what he said, this
was
her fault, all of it. If she hadn't thrown herself at him that one night, nothing else would have happened, of that she was sure.

Jay would have never asked her out, would have never let the thought cross his mind. Because he was Dave's friend, and she was his friend's sister.

And even she knew the crude saying about friends coming before women. Especially when it was your friend's sister.

Jay squeezed her hand again then slid off the barstool, ignoring his crutches as he limped over to the pool table. She watched him lean over and say something to Pete, heard the laughter that followed. He grabbed a pool stick from the rack along the wall and joined the game, but not before glancing back at her with a smile and a wink.

She smiled back then turned to look at Dave, saw that he hadn't moved positions, that he was still glowering at Jay. A few seconds went by before he turned his head and looked in her direction. The scowl didn't leave his face. If anything, he frowned even more. His phone must have beeped or vibrated or something, because he looked away long enough to glance at the screen. And the frown deepened, his face turning red as he tossed the phone on the table and ignored it. Like he was ignoring her.

Angie sighed and started wiping down the clean bar, her thoughts running in dizzying circles.

Maybe Jay had been right, maybe the tension was only between Dave and him. That didn't ease her guilt, because she was still responsible for it.

Just like she was the one responsible for the tension between Dave and her. Nobody else, just her.

Yeah, friends were supposed to come before women. But what about that other saying? The one that said family came first? Dave was the only family she had left, so what did that say about her?

**

Angie shut the door behind her, trying to be quiet. The living room light was on, but that didn't mean Dave was awake.

She really hoped he wasn't awake because she wasn't in the mood to deal with him tonight. She was tired, so tired and drained. If he saw her dragging herself in like this, there would be another confrontation and he'd demand that she quit the bar. Again.

That was if he even bothered saying anything to her at all. Lately he had just been giving her the silent treatment. Silent—except for his eyes. They were filled with either disappointment or disapproval, and she wasn't sure which bothered her more.

Yes, she did. Disappointment. Seeing that hurt her more than she wanted to admit, and she didn't know what to do about it.

She didn't know if there was anything she could do about it.

Her mouth opened in a long yawn that she didn't bother to stifle as she moved through the living room. Steps sounded to her left and she looked over, surprised to see Dave walking out of the kitchen.

"I didn't expect you home."

Angie flinched at the accusation and lifted her chin. "It is my home, you know."

"No, I wouldn't, considering how little you're actually here anymore."

"Dave, I'm tired. Can we please not do this right now?"

"Do what?"

"This. Argue. The tension and the guilt. All of it. Can we please just not do it?"

He stepped into the living room and sat back on the sofa, leaning back as he watched her with one raised brow. "I'm not arguing. And if you're feeling guilty about something, well, I'm not sure what I have to do about that."

"You have everything to do with it!" She leaned against the stair railing and folded her arms across her chest. "The way you've been acting, the stunt you pulled the other week showing up at Jay's. Even tonight, how you were acting, staring everyone down. Why? I don't understand!"

"You don't understand?"

"No, Dave, I don't. You keep treating me like I'm twelve years old. And how you're treating Jay. He's your friend!"

"No, he was my friend."

Angie swallowed against the thickness in her throat and shook her head. "Why? Because we're seeing each other? Why does that make a difference?"

"Because it does, Angie."

"God, this is so stupid. I don't understand, I really don't. Why is it so wrong for me to like someone you work with? Why is it so wrong for me to be having fun and enjoying myself?"

"You won't be saying that when he breaks your heart. Trust me, I know Jay. And if you think for one minute that he's somebody you can trust, then you're fooling yourself."

"Oh my God, I can't believe we're having this discussion! Do you even realize that we've been dating for close to three months already?" Angie took a deep breath and wiped her hand across her eyes. "And so what if it doesn't work out? Don't you think I realize that's a possibility? Why does it matter when we just enjoy being together for now?"

"Because if either one of you had any respect for the boundaries, neither one of you would be seeing the other, that's why. And for that, I blame Jay."

"Well here's a newsflash for you, big brother. I'm the one who asked Jay out, not the other way around. And I asked him several times because he kept saying no, even after I threw myself at him! But he kept saying no. Because you were his friend. So don't blame Jay, blame me!"

Angie snapped her mouth closed, surprised at the anger lacing her voice. Dave's head snapped back as if he had been slapped, his brows drawn together in a scowl of anger and disappointment. Silence stretched around them, so heavy she felt herself smothering under its weight.

Dave finally stood, his expression still ominous as he approached her. He stopped next to her and looked down, disappointment clear in his dark eyes.

"I had more faith in you, Angela. But I guess I was wrong. So congratulations, I hope having your fun is worth destroying a friendship. And the relationship with your brother."

He pushed past her as she sagged against the railing, the finality in his words leaving her more stunned than any physical blow. Her chest heaved as her breath caught in her throat, her lungs tight with the effort to draw breath.

How could he even say such a thing to her? To accuse her of such things? She waited for anger to course through her body, waited for indignation and fury to overtake the tears that hovered at the corners of her eyes.

But all she felt was disappointment. And a keen sense of loss, as if something had been savagely ripped from her chest.

Because his accusations so closely resembled what she had been thinking earlier that evening. If she hadn't pursued Jay, none of this would have happened.

None of it.

Dave and Jay would still be friends.

Her family would still be intact and she and Dave wouldn't be strangers living under the same roof.

And she wouldn't be becoming attached to someone she had no right to be attached to.

Angie dropped to the bottom step and hugged her knees to her chest, rocking back and forth. Tears seeped from her closed eyes but she ignored them, her mind reeling and her heart breaking. Dave was right. About everything. If she hadn't pushed, none of this would be happening right now. So what if she'd had a crush on Jay? She'd had other crushes and never acted on them. That was part of life. So why had she pursued Jay? Why had she pushed it this one time? Was it because of the allure of having something—someone—who was off-limits?

None of this would be happening right now if not for her. If she hadn't thrown herself at Jay, hadn't kept pushing when he turned her down, life would be normal. No stress, no anger, no tension. She'd have her brother back. Her big brother, her only real family, the one constant in her life. The big brother who had looked out for her growing up, who made sure she was safe and happy. Who made sure she'd be able to pursue her dream career, who supported her and worried about her.

Dave was right. All of it was her fault. 

She needed to think, needed to decide what to do.