Please Don't Tell (7 page)

             
“I volunteered,” he said, walking into my room and opened my suitcase. “Come on, Soph, what’ll it be? This dress is perfect.” He pulled out my little white eyelet sundress; my favorite one. I eyed him wondering why he volunteered, like all of a sudden he wanted to talk to me. Where the hell had he been this whole trip?

             
I grabbed the menu off the bed and turned to face him. “How about you and I stay up here and order room service like old times?” I asked, hoping in my heart that he would say yes, but already knowing what his answer would be.

             
He draped my dress across the bed and sighed heavily. “Why are you avoiding everyone?”

             
“I’m not avoiding everyone. Just one person,” I admitted. “Well, two actually.

             
“Well, I can figure out the first, but who’s the second?”

             
I tipped my head down not wanting to look him in the eye when I said it, “Seriously, I know you’re not that ignorant.” When he remained silent and shot me a puzzled face, I yelled, You. You’re the second.”

             
“Me? Why me?”

             
“I wasn’t really expecting you to bring someone with you after last year. I thought maybe...” I shook my head. “I don’t know what I thought.”

             
His face tensed, then he ran his fingers through his hair as he moved closer. “You’re talking about the kiss last year.” He said more as a statement than a question.

             
I looked over as he’d flopped back onto the bed, nestling onto the fluffy comforter. Every ounce of me wanted to jump on there with him, but I held back.

             
“Soph, you know I love you. I just love you more like a...”

             
I turned and walked over to the window. “Don’t say it.”

             
“Sister,” he whispered.

             
I peered down below, glancing out into the ocean. “Great! That’s even worse than friends.”

             
I didn’t hear him get up, but felt the warmth of his arms wrap around my waist.

             
His chin rested on my shoulder. “I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I don’t know why I kissed you.” I snorted at his comment. “That didn’t come out right. I kissed you because I wanted to see what it would be like, but when we finally did after all those years they put us together,” he paused. “Sophie, it just didn’t feel right. I’m so sorry. I should have told you about Claire. I’ve been a total daft prick about everything. Can you please understand?”

             
I leaned back breathing him in. The smell of his cologne had me wanting to turn and see if his lips still felt the same as last year. I didn’t dare move after what he just admitted. I just let him linger, enjoying one last embrace. “No.” I whispered. “I don’t understand Peter. That kiss meant something to me and you could’ve at least mentioned her in your letters or called me. Something,” I yelled.

             
He pulled back too soon and turned me to face him. I could feel the blood drain from my face. Peter stared at me with a kind but serious expression. “I’m sorry about that. I shouldn’t have avoided you like I did, and I should have told you about Claire. Can you please forgive me?” His hands grabbed mine then laughed softly. “And next time you’re mad at me talk to me, please. Besides, I’m positive there has to be a few blokes at home dying to have a go at it.”

             
I frowned. I didn’t want to forgive him, but this was Peter. I would always forgive him. So I did. “Way to change the subject. I just can’t believe you did this to me, Peter.”

             
He sighed heavily.  “I don’t know what else to say to you. I thought maybe there was someone else by now. My mom told me you were seeing someone so I thought you were okay.”

             
It’s true. I started dating Jason as a promise to Val so we could double-date. And, Jason had been an easy distraction. “There really is only one that I’ve semi-dated. We’re not even together anymore.” Could I even consider going to third base once dating?

             
“What’s this blokes name?”

             
“Jason the jerk.”

             
His head tilted as a smile formed on his lips, but said nothing. It was almost like he was waiting for me to elaborate.

             
So I continued,“Well, he’s not really a jerk. He just a boy whose goal in life seems to get me into bed.”

             
“Right, well, it’s a good thing Ethan will be coming after all. I’ll pass on the information to him and have him kick his arse.” He threw his head back and laughed. “All right, Sophie I’ll give you ten minutes to make yourself beautiful. I’ll be in the hall.”

             
I pouted as I heard the door click shut. I slipped off my cozy pajamas and slipped into the dress. I took my time applying my clear lip gloss and mascara. I dabbed some powder on my nose, trying to hide the sunburn. Not that it mattered, my nose resembled Rudolph to a tee no matter how many times I dabbed the powder puff. The word ‘sister’ kept invading my thoughts. Even though I told myself that I was in love with Peter all these years part of me wondered if he was right. Was our relationship forced from years thrown together?

             
I was just about ready, slipping my feet into my little peep toe wedges when Peter yelled out. “Soph, let’s go.”

             
I yelled back, “Coming.” As I stumbled out, balancing on one foot, I tried to walk and fasten the strap with my finger at the same time.

             
We walked into the restaurant arm-in-arm, Peter smiled as we approached the table.  Claire stood up giving me a smug little grin and pulled Peter’s chair out for him. God, I hated her. Okay, I don’t hate her. If Peter liked her I would try.

             
As Peter released my arm and sat in the chair Claire pulled out, my eyes looked around for an open seat. The only one open was next to Ethan and across from Claire. Fabulous! I started to sit, noticing that Ethan had stopped talking. He smiled as I sat down and clinked his beer with my water glass on the table and winked.

             
My mother raised her glass as I joined them. “Glad you could join us, Sophie.”

             
I sat and raised my glass, taking a quick sip.

             
Ethan leaned over and whispered in my ear, “I see someone got a little too much sun.”

             
I glared for a moment before he bit off a chunk of bread. “Gee, thanks for pointing out the obvious.”

             
One hour of food and constant talk about all the things Ethan and I could do together was about all I could take. Occasionally, I would see Ethan steal a glance in my direction. Sitting next to him and Peter was enough to make any girl go crazy. I remained silent, feeling like I had marbles in my mouth the entire time prohibiting me from any small talk. The thought of not seeing Peter for another year normally bothered me, but tonight, the thought of leaving Ethan bothered me more. Peter was obviously head over heels for Claire, and since our little talk in my room, I knew any chance of that happening was gone. Chewing the last ice cube in my glass, I stole a quick glance at Ethan and asked myself, why? Why did he keep entering my thoughts? Who cares what he does with his life? He means nothing to me. Sure, he briefly redeemed himself when we were stranded and the kiss on the nose was kind of nice. He almost seemed to turn into a sweet guy over the last few years, and this new attitude was enough to drive me insane. I knew the old Ethan--this one threw for a loop.

             
I stood up. “I’m going to bed.”

             
Peter placed his fork down. “Rubbish, it’s only nine. The night is still young. The band is about to go on. We’re going to start dancing soon.”

             
I leaned over him placing a kiss on his cheek. “Good night and good-bye, Peter.”

             
I held my hand out to shake Claire’s hand. “It was nice to meet you, Claire.”

             
“You too, Sophie.”

             
I exhaled slowly, walking toward Ethan and held my hand out. “Ethan.”

             
I watched him stand and felt immediately small. “How ‘bout one dance and then our little adventure can be over?” He held out his hand. “What do you say, Sophie, you brave enough?”

             
I chewed the inside of my mouth for a brief second debating if I really wanted to dance with Ethan. And, not to just any music, but Bob Marley, hips grinding together music. People did some crazy dancing while listening to Reggae. I had watched for years as people would start swaying and raising their arms into the air until they seemed to almost blend into one person. One-second later, I noticed Peter and Claire had already headed to the wooden dance floor as the band went on. I lifted my head and smiled before grabbing Ethan’s hand into mine. Before I knew it, he had yanked me onto the dance floor. What the hell? It was only one dance, right?

             
Instead of waiting for me, he took a step forward, and instantly Ethan had his arms around my neck, as we swayed to the reggae music pulsing around us. His hand glided down to my hip and pulled me closer as we rocked back and forth to the song. After I started to get into the dancing and the third song, he pulled me in even closer and tucked a sweaty strand of hair behind my ear. “Do you ever stop?” He yelled into my ear. I wasn’t sure I’d heard him correctly because of the music blasting around us. So, I yelled back, “What?” This time he responded by leaning down and pressed his forehead to mine. “I asked, if you ever stop?”

             
“Stop what?”I muttered.

             
He shifted his gaze to Peter. “Staring at Pete?”

             
I hadn’t realized that I’d been staring at Peter. I mean, I guess I had been. When have I ever stopped staring at Peter? And, if he noticed, did that mean Peter or Claire noticed? I pulled myself out of his arms and started to make my way back toward the table. Ethan had been right behind me, but stayed a few feet away. I quickly turned, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude. It’s just--I don’t want to talk about it.”

             
He turned back toward Peter and Claire and glared at me. “You’ve got be kidding me,” he mumbled. When I didn’t respond he gingerly strolled over to me, bent over and kissed the top of my head.  “Don’t worry about it. I’ll see you in January, So-So.”

             
I looked up and snorted at the sound of him calling me my old nickname. “Yeah, see you then.” I started to turn, but he grabbed my arm. He bent over one more time, his eyes traveled down to my lips. His mouth shifted then rested on the tip of my ear. The warmth of his breath settled on my neck. “You look nothing like I remember, Sophie.”  I wasn’t sure if that was a compliment or a knock down which infuriated me even more.

             
I backed up, forcing a nervous smile. “Bye.”

             
As I walked away, I started to count the tiles that led to the hotel door. I’d only made it to the number six when Ethan yelled out, “Maybe we can even have another adventure.”

             
The rest of the walk back to my room I couldn’t stop thinking about why I’d been letting him get under my skin.

             
I knew I was going to have a tough time falling asleep tonight. Almost all my dreams about love consisted of one man and one man only--Peter. Somehow, I had a feeling after that dance a different face would enter my dreams tonight.

             
             
             
             
             
Chapter 7

             
Valerie was already sitting in my driveway as we pulled in. Pixie, my beloved Westie jumped around in the back seat. Pixie loved Val and stayed with her whenever we went away. It was a huge relief because we had to put our old dog in the kennel all the time and he’d hated it. When Val offered to dog sit years ago, I gladly took her up on it. Wherever I went on vacation, I would buy her the best present for taking care of her. This time it was a silver bracelet with a small indigo colored charm I had picked out on one of ‘girl only’ excursions. Val was obviously enjoying the music that was playing as her head bobbed back and forth and up and down. I laughed, watching her.

             
I tapped on the window, watching Pixie jump back and forth. The door opened, Val jumped out. “Yay! You’re home,” she screeched grabbing hold of me. “Hey, Mrs. Gerrard.”

             
Mom patted her on the shoulder. “ Hello, Val. How’s Pixie doing? I hope she wasn’t too much trouble.”

             
Pixie bounced out of the car running around in circles with her tail wagging excitedly. I bent over and scooped her up into my arms, and squeezed her.

             
Her tongue licked every inch of my face. “I missed you too, Pixie.”

             
I looked back at Valerie. “Let me get my bags. Here hold her.” I placed Pixie into her arms.

             
I ran back and pulled out my luggage from the open trunk. Placing one in each hand, I headed back toward Val. “You are coming inside, right?”

             
She placed Pixie onto the ground, grabbing a bag from my hand. “Are you kidding? I am so desperately in the need of a British love story now more than ever.”

             
My mother had already made it to the front steps and opened the front door.  We followed slowly behind with Pixie in the lead jumping the three steps onto the porch.

             
“Not much to tell. It was a total bust.” I turned pouting. “He brought a girlfriend. Do you believe that? A girlfriend.”

             
Shoulder to shoulder we nudged our way into the house. “I know that. You mentioned it in the twenty minute voicemail. What about the kiss last year?” Val whispered.

             
“It gets so much worse,” I whispered. “Mom, we’ll be upstairs.”

             
We darted up the stairs and into my bedroom. I tossed my bag onto my bed unzipping it and pulled out my perfect bathing suit and held it up. “So not worth spending ninety bucks on this. He didn’t even look at me in it.” I threw it onto the floor. “Are you ready for this one?”

             
She nodded. “Hit me with it.”

             
“A sister. He told me I was more like a sister to him. Do you believe that?”

             
“Ouch.”

             
“Exactly! Her name is Claire and God I was so mortified.” I flopped onto the bed, pulling my pillow over my face. “How was your week? Please tell me something exciting happened while I was gone,” I huffed into the pillow before casting it aside.

             
My eyes studied her as she crossed her legs and flopped down next to me. “I guess I have some news.” Her body twisted toward me and then she smiled. “I did it! I really did it.”

             
I sat up. “Did what?”

             
Her eyes rolled back. “Helloooo, like I went all the way with Matt.”

             
She did not just say that, did she? Jeez, I’d only been away for ten days and this happens.  I closed my eyes remembering the time that Matt kissed me. Yuck!  I should have told her what a jerk he really was, but I was afraid to tell her. I didn’t want to lose her. I’d never really kept secrets from Val, but this one I’d sworn to take to the grave.

             
“Aren’t you going to say anything?” She asked.

             
“You had sex with Matt?” I don’t know why I was asking her this when she already told me, but full clarification was desperately needed at this moment. I almost felt like maybe I’d heard her wrong. I wanted to be happy for her, but since it was with Matt--I couldn’t.

             
She sat up. “Uh, yeah that’s what I just said. What’s wrong with you?”

             
I flopped back down and fiddled with the fringe on the pillow. “What was it like? Did it hurt?”

             
She sat up even straighter and then sat Indian style. “A little, but oh my God, I was so nervous.”

             
My finger flew to my mouth and I started to chip my polish away. I mean, I always figured she’d lose it before me and not because she was ‘one of those girls’, but she and Matt started getting really close. And, the fact that I had no real interest in doing it with Jason. I was sort of holding out for Peter, but since that’s out the window. Who knows who it’ll be with? “Where?”

             
The smile was still plastered on her face. “His basement while his parents were asleep. I don’t know what happened. We were just sitting there watching TV and next thing I knew he was on top of me. He told me he loved me and I told him the same thing, and well, you know how it ended.”

             
“Wow! Do you really love him that much?”

             
“I guess. I made him wait long enough, don’t you think?” She asked, standing and crossed over to the window. “Now tell me some more juicy details about British boy?”

             
I got up and walked over to join her. Stunned, I said, “I can’t believe you actually did it, Val.”

             
She waved me off. “Enough about me. What about British boy?”

             
I flopped onto my chair.“Where do I begin? He has a girlfriend, Claire. She was really pretty, eighteen, big boobs, and the perfect body.  How can I compete with that?”

             
“It shouldn’t be a competition, you’ve known him longer. Besides, your boobs aren’t that small. What a jerk.”

             
“My A cups couldn’t even compete and he’s not really a jerk. I don’t know.” I paused for a second thinking about Peter. “Ready for the best part?” I asked, now my thoughts solely on Ethan.

             
She walked over to my door, opening it and Pixie trotted in. “Ah, yeah.”

             
Pixie jumped on my bed and started circling around and around, looking for the perfect spot when I scooped her up beside me. She rolled over, allowing me to rub her belly.

             
“His name is Ethan, Peter’s cousin. I haven’t seen him in like forever.”

             
“Is he hot?”

             
“He’s all right, but it gets worse. My mother agreed to have him live with us for an exchange program in January. Do you believe this...January a hot mister know-it-all guy will be sleeping ten feet away from me.”

             
“Wait, he’s hot? You said he was only all right. I mean tell me something--anything?”

             
“Well, he’s really tall, blondish brown hair, these crazy big green eyes and he’s totally annoying. I hated him when I was little. He was always Peter’s mean tag along cousin to me,” I sighed and kept rubbing Pixie’s belly. “I already told you on the voicemail about the dinghy, so I won’t go into that other than I was petrified. Let’s see, he’s seventeen, but looks like he’s at least twenty. I guess because he keeps his face kind of scruffy.” I shrugged. “I don’t know any boys that do that. Does any of this help?”

             
“This is going to be so awesome, Soph.”

             
I wrinkled my nose. “No, it won’t be awesome. It’s gonna be catastrophic.”

             
She clapped her hands excitedly. “It so will be awesome. I gotta go. I told my Mom I’d be back to go through the school wardrobe.”

             
Ugh! School wardrobe. I had nothing even remotely presentable for Junior year.

             
“Hey, let’s hit the mall this weekend, okay?”

             
She nodded. “You bet. Call me later.” She grabbed Pixie out of my hands, scooping her up and kissed her black little nose. “I’ll miss you, Pixie.”

             
“See ya later,” I said. “Oh, wait. I have something for you.” I reached in my bag, pulling out the bracelet. “Thanks again for watching Pixie.”

             
She smiled. “You don’t have to buy me something every time you go away.”

             
I pulled it out of the little blue bag it was wrapped in and placed it on her wrist. “I want to.”

             
I watched her face light up as she flipped over her wrist. “It’s really beautiful. I love it.” She said, as she twisted it around several times. “I gotta go.” She reached over and hugged me one last time. “I’m so glad you’re back.” She released me and hurriedly made her way toward the door.

             
She waved walking out into the hall, Pixie jumped off of my bed sprinting right behind her. Traitor.

             
When she left I started to unpack my bags, trying to absorb the fact the my best friend did the deed. She was no longer a virgin. And the fact that she lost it to Matt, I shivered at the thought. We both promised not to do ‘the deed’ until we were in love and part of me wondered if I had told her about the kiss if things would have ended up different? That slimy, kissing me at the party, Matt. I just didn’t have the heart to tell her. Even though we had been friends since the fourth grade. Part of me worried that she wouldn’t believe me and that she would hate me for it. I’ve heard horror stories about the very same situation with other people and did not intend for that to be us. I shook my head trying to erase the image when Ethan’s face sprung into my memory. I dreaded the fact the he would be living with us for six whole months not knowing how I really felt about him yet. 

             
Although, I knew I’d better get it together it sooner than later because it was going to happen whether I’d liked it or not.  At least I had time to prepare, possibly even find a boyfriend by then.  Maybe even give into Jason and start dating him again. I would not, I repeated over and over again, let Ethan get under my skin.