Pledged (38 page)

By midcentury, despite a spate of state laws prohibiting sororities, fraternities, and secret societies at the high school level as “inimical to the public good,” college sororities were flourishing. In the 1960s, many women viewed sorority sisterhood as a way to meet eligible men. When one woman was invited to become a Sigma Delta Tau in 1962, her parents said she “absolutely had to do it. They felt it was important for social status.” Her experience doesn’t sound all that different from that of sorority girls forty years later. She didn’t like the looks-based snap judgments of the rush process, so she regularly volunteered to work in the kitchen instead. But the sisters wouldn’t let her. “There was a necessary order of those sisters who were acceptable to meet other people in public and those who were shuttled into the kitchen,” she said. “They told me I was ‘not a kitchen person.’” She said that her sorority’s main criteria for rush candidates were fairly shallow: “The big question we asked ourselves during the voting process about rush candidates was ‘Would you want to brush your teeth next to her in the morning?’” Pressure was also intense to date only fraternity boys and to befriend only sorority girls; others were often viewed as outcasts. Hazing was almost as commonplace as it was in later years.

One major difference between sororities then and now, however, is that when the Sigma Delta Tau was a student, sororities were viewed in many schools as a necessary stepping-stone for women to achieve anything of merit. It was considered a given that women needed sororities to get anywhere. At the Sigma Delta Tau’s midwestern school, where the majority of the student body was Greek, if a woman wasn’t a sister, classmates assumed that it was because she wasn’t good enough—not because she didn’t want to join. But when I sent inquiries to several successful sorority graduates from that era and others, none of them was willing to discuss attributing any part of their accomplishments to sorority membership. Mega-author Sue Grafton, whom the National Panhellenic Conference advertises as a famous sorority woman, put it bluntly: “My sorority membership hasn’t contributed anything to my success.”

Nonetheless, sorority women from several generations still insist on keeping their sorority rituals secret—even if they can no longer remember what the codes actually mean. Usually gregarious women in their seventies and eighties, far removed from their college days, immediately clammed up when I asked them about their sorority experience. “I can’t say anything about sororities, for reasons I can’t talk about,” one said.

The first members of sororities developed rituals to reflect the values and standards of their organization. “As sororities developed, a need for structure and continuity emerged,” wrote Mari Ann Callais in a dissertation that does not reveal secrets of her sorority or any others. “As sororities expanded from their founding campus to other colleges and universities, it became important to keep each sorority’s individuality and to establish what made the group special and unique.” This often involves reminding sisters of the group’s symbols. The symbols on a sorority’s crest, whether Kappa Delta’s dagger, Chi Omega’s skull and crossbones, or Theta Phi Alpha’s esquire helmet, mean something specific to the members. For example, the crest of the national sororities’ umbrella organization, the National Panhellenic Conference, breaks down this way, according to an NPC document:

The shield is a protective influence for our entire membership. A lamp denotes leadership, scholarship and enlightenment. The laurel wreath signifies victory, or achievement of ideals. The sword piercing the wreath indicates willingness to fight for ideals, symbolizing, too, penalty of obligation; also bravery, achievement and discipline. The mantling surrounding the shield is the protecting cloak that education gives us, and a protective influence of organization. Thus, there in the mantle is inscribed the name of the National Panhellenic Conference.

Nationals often remind their sisters to “live the ritual,” meaning that they should reflect on and live by the values of the sorority expressed at its ceremonies. As a speaker at the Greek leadership conference proclaimed to his ballroom audience, “Am I living it better today than yesterday and tomorrow than today? That’s what being Greek is all about. The pursuit of trying to live up to that oath.” In a Kappa Kappa Gamma publication, a sister wrote in 2000, “What is really exciting is that part of your story is shared by every woman of Kappa Kappa Gamma, past and present. Our experiences differ, but despite chapter location, number of members, housing situations, and varied campus life, we do have a shared experience—our Kappa ritual. We all participated in ritual saying the same words, wearing the same clothes and on a higher level, naming the same dreams and the ideals of goodness, truth and beauty and then we endeavored together to seek the finest in life, thought, and character. This is when our Kappa stories became one.”

Today’s sisters still perform these rituals, which, according to Callais, encompass formal readings of passages, Greek letters on clothing, symbolic colors, “hymn-like Greek songs, and occasionally even drinking rites involving the use of loving cups.” These rites occur at initiation, formal meetings, and special events (such as candlelight ceremonies). Initiation ceremonies, which often include themes of truth, justice, love, and honor, can involve symbolic “ritual equipment,” such as flowers, jewels, candles, specific clothing, a ritual book, an altar, or other items reflecting ancient Greek mythology or religion. Sorority initiations are intended to transform pledges into sisters by teaching them the secrets of the sorority—such as passwords and mottoes—and having them pledge to keep these secrets within the membership. In the Greek community, it has been said if a sister chooses not to obey the oath throughout her time in the sisterhood, she should be asked to leave.

These oaths, however, are not necessarily steadfast. Many sisters I spoke to participated in rituals only because if they did not, the sorority imposed individual fines of up to several hundred dollars. Some women just a few years out of school had already forgotten the meanings behind their sorority’s phrases and symbols. Others shared their secrets. Most sororities, for example, have secret handshakes that are used in meetings. For Chi Omega’s secret handshake, sisters shape their right hand into a two-fingered gun (or the sign language letter “h”) and clasp hands. One sister taps the other’s wrist twice and says, “Chi Air”; the other taps twice and responds, “Offilimus.” “Chi Air Offilimus,” the secret meaning behind the letters Chi Omega, represents a “helping hand.” Delta Zeta has a sorority whistle, though it is rarely used anymore. Delta Zetas whistle two short tones, then two long tones (“Del-ta Ze-ta”) to the notes G, G, high E, high C.

Other sororities have secret knocks. In some Alpha Phi formal chapter meetings, the girls line up by pledge class in alphabetical order. The first girl in each class knocks on the closed meeting room door three times—to stand for “A-O-E.” An officer on the other side knocks back. When the first sister says “Alpha,” the door opens a crack. The officer replies “Omicron” and opens the door further. The sister responds “Epsilon” and the class is allowed inside. The letters stand for Alethia Orno Eteronis, Alpha Phi’s secret motto, signifying love. Alpha Xi Delta uses “TFJ” as a motto, which some chapters interpret as “Thanks for Joining.” Sigma Kappa’s “closed,” or secret, motto is “Thus we stand, heart to heart, hand in hand.” Alpha Sigma Tau’s closed motto uses its letters as an acronym for “All Sisters Together.” As part of Kappa Alpha Theta’s ritual, sisters begin meetings by reading aloud “The Love Verse,” 1 Corinthians 13. Some sororities find inspiration in the significance behind their symbols. For Alpha Sigma Alpha, the pearl represents growing beauty from ugliness (the oyster). Pi Phi’s official flower, the wine carnation, represents many aspects of the sorority. According to
Pi Phi Forever,
the publication given to pledges,

The roots of the flower are the Founders, for from them the whole plant grew, . . . the stem represents the Grand Council. It gives to us what was received from the roots. It gives us height and strength . . . The leaves of our flower are the alumnae. They stand nearest the stem and assist it in its work. They are in communication with the world and breathe in for us the best of the world’s ideals . . . the petals are red for the girls are loyal. As it is the rich, wine color which makes the flower attractive, it, too, is the warm fervent loyalty of its members which makes Pi Beta Phi beautiful in the eyes of everyone . . . The pistil is the spirit and the stamens are ideals of Pi Beta Phi. The petals stand closely united around these to defend and protect them.

Many sororities also have specific names for their chapter presidents, such as “Grand Hierophant” (Chi Omega), “Lady Superior” (Alpha Phi), and “Archon” (Phi Sigma Sigma).

Some sororities still use secret passwords. Kappa Kappa Gamma’s is “Adelphe,” Greek for “sister.” To get into chapter meetings, Tri-Delts greet their chaplain at the door to the meeting room by saying “Este laethes,” Greek for “Be true.” Phi Sigma Sigmas base their password on the pyramid, one of their symbols; their secret phrase is “LITP,” or “Love in the Pyramid.” Delta Zeta’s password is “Philia,” Greek for “friendship,” and its motto is “Let the flame endure forever.” Delta Phi Epsilon’s password, “jusilove,” is meant to remind sisters of the symbolism of the equilateral triangle on their sisterhood badge: the three points represent justice, sisterhood, and love. For Pi Beta Phis, the secret word is “worra”—the backward spelling of “arrow,” their symbol. When a Pi Phi sees a woman who she believes might also be a Pi Phi, she is supposed to say “W.” If the other woman spells the rest of the password, the Pi Phis know they’re sisters. Chi Omega’s secret dialogue is called the “watch”:

“What is it?”

“A good thing.”

“To be elected.”

“Can all be elected?”

“Hardly.”

In earlier days, the Kappa Kappa Gammas also allegedly had a procedure to ascertain whether someone was a fellow member. If a Kappa spotted a potential sister, she would rest her chin on the palm of her hand and stick up her index finger. If the target was a Kappa, she would respond by putting her chin on her palm and pointing up her middle finger. For obvious reasons, that practice has since fallen out of favor.

Initiation ceremonies for the various sororities are fairly similar. Many groups drape the initiation room in white, and most require sisters and pledges to wear only white. Called “The Temple,” the initiation room in some houses is intended to replicate the house of the Greek gods. In one chapter’s Kappa Alpha Theta initiation script, the initiates are to follow the lead of the “High Priestess,” who carries a ceremonial cup. Girls in some Sigma Kappa chapters must purchase specific white dresses (described by one recent graduate as “long-sleeved with a slightly dropped waist, heinously ugly, and very shapeless”). For Sigma Kappa, wearing white is mandatory and inflexible. In one Sigma Kappa chapter, when a national representative came to oversee a ritual meeting, a sister entered the room wearing white shoes with black toes. The national representative “had a conniption. She said, ‘You have to go home and change them,’” a participant said. Zeta Tau Alphas also “wear their whites” for initiation—“we couldn’t even have a button on them that was another color, all the way to our stockings and our shoes,” a Zeta said. During initiation, Zetas receive a blue ribbon representing their ties to the sisterhood; sisters are told to hide the ribbon, to let no one see it, and to keep it forever.

During the Delta Phi Epsilon initiation, the sisters and initiates form concentric circles according to pledge class. When Pi Phi pledges enter the initiation room, they are each handed candles—wine-colored or silver blue, if possible. Inside the room, the neophytes stand in a circle and sing songs. They must repeat an oath that includes the line “I pledge myself to Pi Phi.” Sororities consider these vows crucial to the bonds of sisterhood. As the National Song of Alpha Delta Pi proclaims,

We pledge once more allegiance now

With hearts as true and high

As when we took the sacred vow

For Alpha Delta Pi.

Both Chi Omega and Kappa Delta include songs with religious overtones, which some non-Christian girls refuse to sing. Chi Omega has initiates kneel on cushions in front of an “altar,” place their hand over a Bible, and pledge themselves to Chi Omega. In “hard-core” Chi Omega chapters, pledges are dropped into a coffin, pronounced dead, and then reborn as sisters.

Many sorority initiations occur in stages over the course of the pledge period. At Kappa Delta’s First Degree Ceremony, pledges receive their pledge pins and pledge themselves “to Kappa Delta and her ideals,” according to
The Norman Shield of Kappa Delta,
a publication for new members. After a retreat and a six-week education program (with sessions entitled “K∆—Simply the Best!” “Being Your Best!” “Becoming Your Best!” “Best of the Best” “Giving Our Best!” and “The Best Is Yet to Come!”), pledges reach the Second Degree, which is the First Phase of Initiation. The Second Degree Ceremony grants pledges a Second Degree pin and teaches them more about “the bonds of Kappa Delta.” The period between the Second and Third Degree ceremonies is known as the “White Rose Celebration,” “a meaningful time of reflection where you and the chapter prepare for the beauty of the Third Degree Ceremony and the true meaning of Kappa Delta.” At the Third Degree Ceremony, “the full significance of our sisterhood is revealed. You will learn . . . all of the other secrets of the ritual, which has remained virtually unchanged since 1897.”

After initiation, sororities give the new sisters a certificate and, eventually, access to everything from sorority ID cards to credit cards emblazoned with the sorority crest. The sisters also must purchase a pin, or badge, given to them at an official pinning ceremony; in some groups, a girl cannot be initiated until she has purchased this pin through the sorority. It is crucial that the pin not “fall into the possession of a nonmember,” according to
The Key,
Kappa Kappa Gamma’s magazine for the membership. The magazine includes a form that advises members to fill out and enforce with the assistance of a lawyer. The form’s “Kappa Kappa Gamma Badge Disposition Instructions” direct members to indicate whether upon their death they would like their one-inch golden key buried with them, returned to KKG headquarters, or left to a legacy, chapter, or alumnae association.