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Authors: Robert A. Heinlein

BOOK: Podkayne of Mars
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I asked him why, and he put on his best superior look. “If anything went wrong and they grabbed me, they would expect me to have one. So I had one—and it hadn’t even been started . . . poor little tenderfoot who doesn’t even know enough to switch the thing on when he leaves his base position. Old Gruesome got a fine chuckle out of that.” He sneered. “She thinks I’m half-witted and I’ve done my best to help the idea along.”
So they did the same thing with his bag that they did with my purse—cleaned everything out of it that looked even faintly useful for mayhem and murder, let him keep what was left.
And most of what was left was concealed by a false bottom so beautifully faked that the manufacturer wouldn’t have noticed it.
Except, possibly, for the weight—I asked Clark about that. He shrugged. “Calculated risk,” he said. “If you don’t bet, you can’t win. Jojo carried it in here still packed and she searched it in here—and didn’t pick it up afterwards; she had both arms full of junk I didn’t mind her confiscating.”
(And suppose she had picked it up and noticed? Well, Brother would still have had his brain and his hands—and I think he could take a sewing machine apart and put it back together as a piece of artillery. Clark is a trial to me—but I have great confidence in him.)
I’m going to get some sleep now—or try to—as Pinhead has just fetched in our supper and we have a busy time ahead of us, later. But first I’m going to backtrack this tape and copy it; I have one fresh spool left in my purse. I’m going to give the copy to Clark to give to Uncle, just in case. Just in case Poddy turns out to be bubbles in a swamp, I mean. But I’m not worried about that; it’s a much nicer prospect than being Pinhead’s roommate. In fact I’m not worried about anything; Clark has the situation well in hand.
But he warned me very strongly about one thing: “Tell them to get here well before nine-sixteen . . . or don’t bother to come at all.”
“Why?” I wanted to know.
“Just do it.”
“Clark, you know perfectly well that two grown men won’t pay any attention unless I can give them a sound reason for it.”
He blinked. “All right. There is a very sound reason. A half-a-kiloton bomb isn’t very much . . . but it still isn’t healthy to be around when it goes off. Unless they can get in here and disarm it before that time—up she goes!”
He has it. I’ve
seen
it. Snugly fitted into that false bottom. That same three kilograms of excess mass I couldn’t account for at Deimos. Clark showed me the timing mechanism and how the shaped charges were nestled around it to produce the implosion squeeze.
But he did not show me how to disarm it. I ran into his blankest, most stubborn wall. He expects to escape, yes—and he expects to come back here with plenty of help and in plenty of time and disarm the thing. But he is utterly convinced that Mrs. Grew intends to kill us, and if anything goes wrong and we don’t break out of here, or die trying, or anything . . . well, he intends to take her with us.
I told him it was wrong, I said that he mustn’t take the law in his own hands. “What law?” he said. “There isn’t any law here. And you aren’t being logical, Pod. Anything that is right for a group to do is right for one person to do.”
That one was too slippery for me to answer so I tried simply pleading with him and he got sore. “Maybe you would rather be in the cage with Jojo?”
“Well . . . no.”
“Then shut up about it. Look, Pod, I planned all this out when she had me in that tank, trying to beat my ears in, make me deaf. I kept my sanity by ignoring what was being done to me and concentrating on when and how I would blow her to bits.”
I wondered if he had indeed kept his sanity but I kept my doubts to myself and shut up. Besides I’m not sure that he’s wrong; it may be that I’m just squeamish about bloodshed. “Anything that is moral for a group to do is moral for one person to do.” There must be a flaw in that, since I’ve always been taught that it is wrong to take the law in your own hands. But I can’t find the flaw and it sounds axiomatic, self-evident. Switch it around. If something is wrong for one person to do, can it possibly be made
right
by having a lot of people (a government) agree to do it together? Even unanimously?
If a thing is wrong, it is wrong—and vox populi can’t change it.
Just the same, I’m not sure I can nap with an atom bomb under my bed.
POSTLUDE
I guess I had better finish this.
My sister got right to sleep after I rehearsed her in what we were going to do. I stretched out on the floor but didn’t go right to sleep. I’m a worrier, she isn’t. I reviewed my plans, trying to make them tighter. Then I slept.
I’ve got one of those built-in alarm clocks and I woke just when I planned to, an hour before dawn. Any later and there would be too much chance that Jojo might be loose, any earlier and there would be too much time in the dark. The Venus bush is chancy even when you see well; I didn’t want Poddy to step into something sticky, or step on something that would turn and bite her leg off. Nor me, either.
But we had to risk the bush, or stay and let old Gruesome kill us at her convenience. The first was a sporting chance; the latter was a dead certainty, even though I had a terrible time convincing Poddy that Mrs. Grew would kill us. Poddy’s greatest weakness—the really soft place in her head, she’s not too stupid otherwise—is her almost total inability to grasp that some people are as bad as they are. Evil. Poddy never has understood evil. Naughtiness is about as far as her imagination reaches.
But I understand evil, I can get right inside the skull of a person like Mrs. Grew and understand how she thinks.
Perhaps you infer from this that I am evil, or partly so. All right, want to make something of it? Whatever
I
am, I knew Mrs. Grew was evil before we ever left the
Tricorn
. . . when Poddy (and even Girdie!) thought the slob was just too darling for words.
I don’t trust a person who laughs when there is nothing to laugh about. Or is good-natured no matter what happens. If it’s that perfect, it’s an act, a phony. So I watched her . . . and cheating at solitaire wasn’t the only giveaway.
So between the bush and Mrs. Grew, I chose the bush, both for me and my sister.
Unless the air car was there and we could swipe it. This would be a mixed blessing, as it would mean two of them to cope with, them armed and us not. (I don’t count a bomb as an arm, you can’t point it at a person’s head.)
Before I woke Poddy I took care of that alate pseudo-simian, that “fairy.” Vicious little beast. I didn’t have a gun. But I didn’t really want one at that point; they understand about guns and are hard to hit, they’ll dive on you at once.
Instead I had shoe trees in my spare shoes, elastic bands around my spare clothes, and more elastic bands in my pockets, and several two-centimeter steel ball bearings.
Shift two wing nuts, and the long parts of the shoe trees become a steel fork. Add elastic bands and you have a slingshot. And don’t laugh at a slingshot; many a sand rat has kept himself fed with only a slingshot. They are silent and you usually get your ammo back.
I aimed almost three times as high as I would at home, to allow for the local gravity, and got it right on the sternum, knocked it off its perch—crushed the skull with my heel and gave it an extra twist for the nasty bite on Poddy’s arm. The young one started to whine, so I pushed the carcass over in the corner, somewhat out of sight, and put the cub on it. It shut up. I took care of all this before I woke Poddy because I knew she had sentimental fancies about these “fairies” and I didn’t want her jittering and maybe grabbing my elbow. As it was—clean and fast.
She was still snoring, so I slipped off my shoes and made a fast reconnoiter.
Not so good—Our local witch was already up and reaching for her broom; in a few minutes she would be unlocking Jojo if she hadn’t already. I didn’t have a chance to see if the sky car was outside; I did well not to get caught. I hurried back and woke Poddy.
“Pod!” I whispered. “You awake?”
“Yes.”
“Wide awake? You’ve got to do your act, right now. Make it loud and make it good.”
“Check.”
“Help me up on the perch. Can your sore arm take it?” She nodded, slid quickly off the bed and took position at the door, hands ready. I grabbed her hands, bounced to her shoulders, steadied, and she grabbed my calves as I let go her hands—and then I was up on the perch, over the door. I waved her on.
Poddy went running out the door, screaming, “Mrs. Grew!
Mrs. Grew!
Help, help! My brother!” She did make it good.
And came running back in almost at once with Mrs. Grew puffing after her.
I landed on Gruesome’s shoulders, knocking her to the floor and knocking her gun out of her hand. I twisted and snapped her neck before she could catch her breath.
Pod was right on the ball, I have to give her credit. She had that gun before it stopped sliding. Then she held it, looking dazed.
I took it carefully from her. “Grab your purse. We go right now! Stick close behind me.”
Jojo
was
loose, I had cut it too fine. He was in the living room, looking, I guess, to see what the noise was about. I shot him.
Then I looked for the air car while keeping the gun ready for the driver. No sign of either one—and I didn’t know whether to groan or cheer. I was all keyed up to shoot him but maybe he would have shot me first. But a car would have been mighty welcome compared with heading into the bush.
I almost changed my plan at that point and maybe I should have. Kept together, I mean, and headed straight north for the ring road.
It was the gun that decided me. Poddy could protect herself with it—and I would just be darn careful what I stepped on or in. I handed it to her and told her to move slowly and carefully until there was more light—but get going!
She was wobbling the gun around. “But, Brother, I’ve never shot anybody!”
“Well, you can if you have to.”
“I guess so.”
“Nothing to it. Just point it at ’em and press the button. Better use both hands. And don’t shoot unless you really need to.”
“All right.”
I smacked her behind. “Now get going. See you later.”
And I got going. I looked behind once, but she was already vanished in the smog. I put a little distance between me and the house, just in case, then concentrated on approximating course west.
And I got lost. That’s all. I needed that tracker but I had figured I could get along without it and Pod had to have it. I got hopelessly lost. There wasn’t breeze enough for me to tell anything by wetting my finger and that polarized light trick for finding the Sun is harder than you would think. Hours after I should have reached the ring road I was still skirting boggy places and open water and trying to keep from being somebody’s lunch.
And suddenly there was the most dazzling light possible and I went down flat and stayed there with my eyes buried in my arm and started to count.
I wasn’t hurt at all. The blast wave covered me with mud and the noise was pretty rough, but I was well outside the real trouble. Maybe half an hour later I was picked up by a cop car.
Certainly, I should have disarmed that bomb. I had intended to, if everything went well; it was just meant to be a “Samson in the Temple” stunt if things turned out dry. A last resort.
Maybe I should have stopped to disarm it as soon as I broke old Gruesome’s neck—and maybe Jojo would have caught both of us if I had and him still with a happy-dust hangover. Anyhow I didn’t and then I was very busy deciding what to do and telling Poddy how to use that gun and getting her started. I didn’t think about the bomb until I was several hundred meters from the house—and I certainly didn’t want to go back then, even if I could have found it again in the smog, which is doubtful.
But apparently Poddy did just that. Went back to the house, I mean. She was found later that day, about a kilometer from the house, outside the circle of total destruction—but caught by the blast.
With a live baby fairy in her arms—her body had protected it; it doesn’t appear to have been hurt at all.
That’s why I think she went back to the house. I don’t
know
that this baby fairy is the one she called “Ariel.” It could have been one that she picked up in the bush. But that doesn’t seem at all likely; a wild one would have clawed her and its parents would have torn her to pieces.
I think she intended to save that baby fairy all along and decided not to mention it to me. It is just the kind of sentimental stunt that Poddy would pull. She knew I was going to have to kill the adult—and she never said a word against that; Pod could always be sensible when absolutely necessary.
Then in the excitement of breaking out she forgot to grab it, just as I forgot to disarm the bomb after we no longer needed it. So she went back for it.
And lost the inertial tracker, somehow. At least it wasn’t found on her or near her. Between the gun and her purse and the baby fairy and the tracker she must have dropped it in the bog. Must be, because she had plenty of time to go back and still get far away from the house. She should have been ten kilometers away by then, so she must have lost the tracker fairly soon and walked in a circle.
I told Uncle Tom all about it and was ready to tell the Corporation people, Mr. Cunha and so forth, and take my medicine. But Uncle told me to keep my mouth shut. He agreed that I had fubbed it, mighty dry indeed—but so had he—and so had everybody. He was gentle with me. I wish he had hit me.
I’m sorry about Poddy. She gave me some trouble from time to time, with her bossy ways and her illogical ideas—but just the same, I’m sorry.
I wish I knew how to cry.
Her little recorder was still in her purse and part of the tape could be read. Doesn’t mean much, though; she doesn’t tell what she did, she was babbling, sort of:

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