Read Point of Contention (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) Online
Authors: Louisa Neil
dark circles under his eyes reminiscent of the ones she bared. “When
is it due to hit?”
“Mid-week,” he said, rousing himself to her question.
“What needs to be done? What are they predicting for its path?
What category do they think…Stuart?” Whatever he might have said
was lost. Instead, he moved quickly toward her and pulled her to him.
“Damn it, Kay,” he whispered, just before he kissed her. Stiff in
his arms, he didn’t release her from his hold until she softened under
him, accepting his lips against hers. Arms threaded up around his
shoulders as she opened her mouth under his, accepting his kiss
before taking from him. Kay had a passing thought of pushing him
away and didn’t. She pressed her body along his, feeling his erection
against her even through the heavy robe. His kiss left her weak
against him, like he drew the life from her each time his tongue swept
against hers. It was a heady experience, nothing like the few kisses
they’d shared earlier in the summer. From Stuart, it was a form of
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lovemaking, not just a precursor to the act, she realized.
His hands slid the belt on her robe open and slipped along her
waist. He didn’t seem to care that she still wore the wet bathing suit;
somehow it seemed to spur him on. His lips dropped to her chin and
traced a line of kisses along her throat. Arching back, she allowed him
more access as her fingers clutched at his shoulders. Kay felt the
warmth spread through her and couldn’t stifle a groan that forced its
way through her. Her hips moved rhythmically against him, driving
them deeper into the darkness he was creating. There was nobody to
interrupt them.
Stuart pulled back from her and dropped onto the lounge, his head
cradled in his hands. “I’m sorry, Kay.”
“I’m not, Stuart,” she told him with a half laugh.
“I’ll leave you alone,” he said in the most defeated voice she’d
ever heard.
“You do that, Stu. You had your little fix, now walk away again
for a few weeks.” Kay wasn’t sure where her attitude came from. All
the lust and want she’d felt were churning inside her. She wanted the
completion to what he’d started and wondered if she should push the
issue. Instead, she simply walked from the pool area, forcing herself
to keep her head up.
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Chapter Seventeen
The storm came in as a category two and hesitated over the South
Carolina coast for a full day. That left the North Carolina coast on the fringes, but not out of the path. While everyone had gathered in the
lodge, Kay was restless. She managed to sneak away and made it to
the barn without being noticed. All the animals seemed restless from
the storm, too. The dogs were all corralled in a far stall, and the horses were on edge. Wet from her walk, she tugged off the rain slicker
she’d pulled on over jeans and a T-shirt and tossed her umbrella aside.
Her hair was wet and plastered to her face and neck, the wind taking
her hood off several times during her trek.
Stroking the horses’ noses as she passed, she uttered kind words
to each animal and spent a few minutes at each stall, treating them to
chunks of carrots and apples. When she got to the dogs they all started
to bark. One word and they settled down. It was then she realized she
wasn’t alone.
“I thought you were in the office,” she told him, defending her
right to be in the barn.
“I was, until I saw you running in the storm.”
“I’m fine,” she started but couldn’t finish her statement. He was as
wet and seemed as miserable as she was.
“No, you’re not, and neither am I, Kay.” Studying her for a long
time, he simply opened his arms to her.
Kay stood her ground, not running to him like she’d wanted to.
Instead, she took a breath and spoke the words she knew would send
him away.
“Stuart, I think you should know, I’m not going to be renewing
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my contract. Come January, I’ll be moving on.” She watched his arms
drop to his sides, and he moved to lean on a stall door.
“Where?”
“Probably Seattle. I’m going there on my vacation at the end of
the month. If not there, somewhere near there.”
“Getting as far away from me as possible, Kay?”
“Something like that,” she admitted. “You don’t want me, Stuart,
and being here only antagonizes us both. I thought you’d be happy to
hear I’m going. You can go back to your no-emotions program and
not have to worry that I’m stalking you.” She let out a laugh, and it
turned into a sob. Turning away, she moved quickly to the far end of
the barn. She was struggling to put on her rain slicker when he met
her, pulling her to face him.
“Is that what you really want?”
“No, it’s what you want.” Kay stood her ground and gave him a
hard look.
“It’s not what I want, Kay, and you know it.” He released his grip
on her arm and turned away from her.
“Isn’t it? How else would I know, Stuart? I mean, you’re such a
talkative man, always clearly communicating your needs and
feelings.”
He spun around to defend himself and stopped short. Kay realized
there was nothing he could say. She was right.
Somehow his defeated stance made her laugh. And her laugh got
stronger and bolder as the seconds ticked by. Even though she knew
he was smoldering with anger, she couldn’t stop.
“You don’t know what you want, Stuart. First you push me away,
then you pull me back. It’s a sick game I won’t play any longer.
We’re not kids testing the ways of the world. I’m a woman who
knows what she wants, and you’re a man who can’t give it to me. It’s
best I move on at the first of the year. At least then I’ll find some
peace.”
Kay stared at him and waited for him to say something, anything.
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When he didn’t she had her answer. “Stuart, I’m sorry. I didn’t come
here to make your life miserable, only to try and find a new one for
myself. You don’t want any part of me or what I might bring to you,
so it’s the only option I have. I still have my one point of contention
that you won’t accept. Since I’m not married I want my freedom to
occasionally bring another man into my sex life. You can’t handle
that. I get it. It takes a stronger man to understand that my needs come first to me now. I spent too many years doing what society told me
was standard. I’m not a standard woman any longer. I’m willing to
wait until I find men who aren’t threatened by my sexuality and
needs.”
“What does Travis have to say about this?”
“Nothing. I’ve never mentioned the sex part to him seriously. I
don’t think I’d have to harass him for his attentions, temporary as they are. I haven’t told him about my future yet. My contract reads through
the first of the year with a three-month notice period on either side.
I’ll talk to him when I get back from vacation. I’ll have a better idea
of my plans after that. Until then, I figured you’d be relieved to know
my days are numbered here.”
“What would it take to make you stay?”
“Stay? Are you kidding me?” Kay tossed her rain jacket aside and
stormed toward him. “Stay! You must be crazy. After the last six
months of this sick game of
I want you, then I don’t
? Why would I stay?”
“Because you care about me.”
“Yes, I do, and you make it so easy to love you, Stuart.” Kay took
a step back and turned away. “Is that the problem, I didn’t fight hard
enough for you? Was I supposed to smother you with my attentions,
only to be pushed away like a child who didn’t know her place?”
All the emotions she’d kept at bay for so long surfaced. Even the
animals around them had gone quiet, sensing the storm inside the barn
was worse than the one raging outside.
“We’re adults, Stuart. I want a man, not a boy hiding in a man’s
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body, afraid to make a commitment to anything that has a brain and
can think for itself or works outside the norm. No wonder you’re so
good with animals—they understand their place with you. Only when
you’re in the mood for them. Otherwise, you leave them locked away
in gilded cages and stables. I’m not a damn horse or a dog, Stuart. I
want a man full time, not a half child afraid to confront his demons. I
want him to be sure of his own masculinity to enjoy me and an
occasional diversion.”
Somehow she sensed she’d gone too far and tried to rein back her
temper. Kay saw the vein in his temple throb, and she turned away.
“Would you prefer I find a replacement? I won’t keep you to the
contract.” Again he had no answer, and she reeled back to him.
“Damn it, Stuart, talk to me. I can’t read your mind. You kiss me
with a passion I’ve never experienced before, yet you pull away when
I react.” Staring him down once more, she shook her head at him, a
weary smile crossing her lips. “Thanks for letting me vent,” she told
him, this time managing to make it to the door before he spoke.
“Kay, don’t leave.” He said the words aloud and seemed confused
he had.
“Don’t leave now, as in this moment or as in don’t leave the
lodge?”
“Both.”
“Why, Stuart? Tell me why I should stay?”
“Because I’ve fallen in love with you.”
Kay watched his face and understood he surprised himself as
much as her.
“You don’t love me. If you did, you wouldn’t treat me the way
you do. Maybe you lust after me, but we both know once your itch is
scratched, you’ll want nothing more to do with me.”
“That’s one possibility, I admit. The other is that once we’re
together for more than a quick fuck, I can’t go back to the life I had.”
“So it’s better that I move on then. This is your home, your land,
and your business. I never wanted to make you uncomfortable in your
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own space, but that’s exactly what happened. By being honest from
the start, I ruined any chance we might have had, even just for some
fun. But I still felt it better to be truthful than surprise you with my wants and needs a few months in.”
“You’ve made me uncomfortable since I first heard about you
from Travis,” he said, his laugh tentative.
Kay watched him, speechless. She knew they could have some
fun in the barn one last time, but it wasn’t what she wanted. The old
adage came back to her: Be careful what you wish for, or you just
might get it. If he touched her now, he’d be imprinted on her
permanently. Ultimately, she’d still have to leave him. The irony of
their situation wasn’t lost on her. She’d believed in fidelity all her life until her marriage. Now she wanted to draft the standards of her life
on her terms. It would be easy to tell him what he needed to hear, that
he’d be the only one she’d sleep with. But Kay knew that would be an
outright lie. Better to disappoint him now than to hurt him later when
she wanted more and he couldn’t accept her want.
“If I touch you, Kay, it will be forever. Can you honestly tell me
that you’d stay with me forever? That you’d stay with just me?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know you well enough. Probably not.
You’re not open enough with your feelings, and it drives me crazy. I
already had one marriage to a man who couldn’t commit. I don’t want
another…relationship I have to second-guess every day. Worse yet,
you’d never trust me. You’d always wonder if I was doing another
man when we weren’t together or was wishing for more.”
“What do you want in a relationship? Because you chose to ignore
the word
husband
.”
“I want my man to love me unconditionally. Good and bad alike. I
want him to need me as much as I need him. And he needs to
understand…”
Stuart moved closer to her, and her words died away. He stopped
within inches of her, the humid air between them thick.
“Understand what? That you were hurt once, or that he has to be a
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puppet you can control? That’s what it comes down to, isn’t it? You
want a man you can control. One you can predict each response from
and never worry he might have a stray thought you didn’t put in his
mind. One who will share you when you’re so inclined.”
“No, I want a man who stands up for himself and for me, no
matter what.”
“And what will you give this man, Kay? What’s his reward for
surrendering his being to you?”
“If he loved me, he wouldn’t feel like he was losing anything.
Instead, he’d be gaining a partner, someone he can count on without
question.”
“Take off your rose-colored glasses, Kay. Real life doesn’t exist
that way.”
“As if you live in the real world. You hide away on this acreage so
the world can’t find you, figuring you can’t be hurt again. You don’t
want a partner or wife, Stuart, you want a mistress that comes to you
when you’re in the mood and disappears into the recess of your life
when it’s inconvenient.” Pausing for air, she finished with, “I’m not