Point of No Return (13 page)

I wanted to do the dishes, but Blane insisted on doing them himself. A bath sounded really nice, so I asked Blane if I could use the tub in his bathroom, since it was way bigger than the one in mine.

“You don’t have to ask,” he chided me. “What’s mine is yours.”

His matter-of-factness brought a lump to my throat. Whatever mistakes Blane had made in the past, he’d more than made up for them since.

I almost fell asleep in the bathtub, I was so relaxed. Only when my fingers and toes began to wrinkle did I finally get out. I dried off and pulled on the white nightgown I always wore, brushing my hair and leaving it to trail wetly down my back.

When I came out of the bathroom, I saw Blane with his back to me as he took off his shirt. He peeled off the white linen dress shirt, then pulled the T-shirt he wore underneath over his head. The muscles in his back and arms flexed as he moved, rippling beneath perfect golden skin. I saw his hands move down to the front of his slacks.

I must have made a noise, because he turned suddenly.

“I-I’m sorry,” I said, hastily averting my eyes from his very naked chest. “I’m done in the bathroom.” No kidding, really? Nothing like stating the obvious. I headed for the door.

“Wait, Kat, where are you going?” Blane latched onto my wrist.

I turned, only to see his chest mere inches away. I gulped, then forced my gaze upward. He was frowning.

“If you’re not tired, we can go watch another movie,” Blane said. “Or I can find you a book to read or something. Whatever you want.”

I cleared my throat nervously. “I was just going to bed,” I said, my voice much too quiet.

Blane looked slightly hurt. “Oh. I thought—I just assumed—you’d stay in here with me.”

My eyes widened. Last night had been one thing. I’d been upset, still reeling from what Kade had done. To stay with Blane another night seemed
. . .
wrong. And yet, the look on his face had guilt crawling inside me.

“Unless you don’t want to,” Blane added, his expression shuttered.

“No, that’d be
. . .
nice,” I said, and it was worth it to see Blane’s face smooth into a smile.

I headed for the bed, crawling underneath the covers. My nerves were jangling. I was too raw, too vulnerable to share a bed with Blane, and I knew it. I was deeply worried I’d do something I’d regret, but it didn’t seem I had a choice. I didn’t want to hurt Blane.

Blane switched off the light and I heard the rustle of clothing before he slid into bed. I was firmly on “my” side, though Blane took up his own space and then some.

I lay stiffly on my back, staring up at the black ceiling. My feelings were in a turmoil. I missed Kade so much, his absence was a physical ache, yet Blane’s presence next to me was deeply comforting, easing the pain inside. The future scared me and I couldn’t see what I was going to do, where I’d go from here.

Blane turned on his side to face me and I felt his hand settle over mine in the space between us. I closed my eyes as a tear tracked down my cheek to the pillow beneath my head. His kindness was sweet. Unexpected.

“Will you tell me more of the suit names tomorrow?” Blane asked, his voice quiet in the dark.

I smiled in spite of myself. “I’ve already broken The Code, so I guess it doesn’t matter now.”

Blane’s soft laugh sent a shiver through me, which was bad-bad-bad.

“Good night, Kat,” he said.

“Night, Blane,” I replied, relieved that he wasn’t going to try and pull me closer, which then made me feel guilty. Despite my heartache and guilt, I drifted to sleep.

It was still dark when I woke, and it didn’t take me long to realize I was sprawled nearly on top of Blane. One of my legs was lying between his, my head and torso resting on his chest while his arm curved around me.

Blane was only wearing a pair of boxer briefs. My nightgown had ridden up and the skin of his legs was warm against mine. I could tell that even if he was still asleep, his body was very much awake.

Heat shot through me, pure hormones laying waste to logic and common sense, and I lay utterly still. I took a deep breath to get myself under control, then found my breath robbed as Blane’s mouth covered mine.

It was sudden and overwhelming, and it was like setting a match to tinder. His fingers were buried in my hair, holding my head as his tongue stroked mine. The desperate urgency in his kiss drove every thought out of my head. I couldn’t see anything—the room was too dark—and all I could do was feel. His mouth and hands were everywhere, dragging my nightgown over my head and turning me onto my back.

Blane’s erection pressed between my thighs and I moaned into his mouth. His lips and tongue moved to my breasts. My fingernails dug into his shoulders, my heart racing as my body instinctively responded to Blane’s touch. It had been a long time, but not so long that our bodies didn’t recognize the other’s in the dark. Blane’s touch and kiss were dragging me down a familiar path of desire and want.

His hand moved between my legs, sliding under the satin of my panties to slip between my folds. I gasped as he stroked me, the wetness he found betraying my arousal. It wasn’t until he pushed a thick finger inside me that reality intruded.

Oh God. This was going to happen. If I didn’t do something, Blane was going to make love to me right here, right now. It was so wrong that we were doing this—so wrong that a part of me wanted it, but I was terrified I wouldn’t be able to live with myself afterward.

“No, Blane, wait!” I said, reaching down to grasp his wrist.

The thrust of his finger paused immediately, though still inside me, curved and leisurely stroking a spot that made my legs tremble and had me biting back another moan. Blane kissed his way from my breasts up to my mouth.

“What is it, Kat?” he asked, his lips moving against my skin.

“We can’t do this,” I gasped, straining to keep hold of my thoughts against the raging tide of desire. “
I
can’t do this.”

He stilled.

“I’m sorry,” I babbled. “I’m horrible—I know I am. Forgive me, but I just
. . .
I can’t do this.” I was up and out of the bed like a shot, stumbling for the door. Somehow I made it to my room. I dug for a T-shirt in the bureau and pulled it on over my head. My stomach ached and my heart hurt, not to mention my conscience, which was taking a painful self-flagellation while my hormones were throwing one hell of a temper tantrum.

Blane didn’t follow me, which I thought was a good thing overall, though I fiercely missed his presence and my body craved his touch.

I lay under the covers and stared out the window for hours, unable to sleep, until the room was flooded with early sunlight. I dreaded facing Blane and had no idea what I was going to say to him—or why he’d done what he had. I’d told him how I felt, that he and I were over. Did he think we’d work it out now that Kade was out of the picture? Is that what I wanted?

I loved Blane and I wasn’t going to kid myself into thinking that we couldn’t have what we’d once had, given enough time. He was a good man—a decent, honorable man—who loved me. We’d had our problems, but if last night was any indication, I had it in me to fall back in love with him.

But I was having a baby
. . .
and it wasn’t Blane’s. That changed everything.

Once I was dressed and as ready to face Blane as I’d ever be, I headed downstairs. As I’d expected, he was in the den. He looked up when I cautiously knocked on the partially open door.

“Come in,” he said, beckoning me. He was dressed in jeans that hugged his hips and a steel-gray button-down shirt that matched his eyes. The cuffs were turned back and his hair was still slightly damp from the shower. “We need to talk,” he said.

I bit my lower lip, my knees practically knocking together. Was he mad at me?

“I’m really sorry,” I managed. “About last night—”

“This isn’t about that,” Blane interrupted. “Well, maybe it is, but not directly.”

“Okay.” My nerves started jangling at that. God, what else did he have to tell me? Had Kade called? Based on Blane’s tone, whatever he had to say couldn’t be good. “Then what do you want to talk about?” I asked.

“The future,” he said simply.

My breath caught and my eyes widened. I couldn’t do this right now. I’d just gotten my equilibrium back yesterday, after my panic attack. If I started thinking about everything, I might fall to pieces again—and I didn’t want Blane to see me like that. It was bad enough that he’d already seen me fall apart more than once.

“I don’t know—”

“Just hear me out,” Blane interrupted. “I know you’re worried. I know you’re scared. But you don’t have to be.”

“That’s easy for
you
to say,” I replied softly.

“Kade didn’t leave you empty-handed,” he said.

I frowned and my stomach lurched. “What do you mean? Have you heard from him?”

“No, but he left this for you.” Blane slipped his hand into his jeans pocket. He removed a piece of paper and handed it to me. It had a bunch of numbers scrawled on it.

“What’s this?” I asked, confused.

“It’s the number of an account in Cayman National, a bank in Grand Cayman. It’s your account now. I checked it. Kade put ten million dollars in it for you.”

I nearly choked, shock hitting me hard. I stared at Blane, my jaw agape.

“He didn’t want you to have to worry about money,” Blane continued.

The ache in my chest was back, slicing through wounds that had only just stopped bleeding. Kade would give me a fortune, money he’d sold his soul to acquire, but he wouldn’t give me himself.

“So, I guess that’s the Kade-equivalent of leaving some money on the bedside table.” Bitterness edged my voice. “I don’t want his money.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Blane said. “You need it. The baby needs it.”

That shut me up. I’d been trying not to think of that word
. Baby.
It was easier, less personal, for me to just think
pregnant.

“Oh God.” I sank onto the sofa, my elbows resting on my thighs as I covered my face. I couldn’t look at him. Kade’s acceptance had helped me hold my head up when I’d had to tell Blane. But his leaving had me feeling ashamed. Embarrassed. Rejected.

“Hey,” Blane said softly, prying my hands away from my face. “I told you that you’re not alone, and I meant it.”

I made myself look at him.

“I love you, and this baby shares my blood, too.” His hand lifted to cup my cheek. “Stay with me. Marry me. You loved me once, you can love me again. I promise that I will
never
leave you. We’ll be together. Always.”

I was speechless. The enormity of what Blane was offering overwhelmed me. Safety. Security. His name. His love.

Blane slowly leaned forward, his gaze dropping. I had plenty of time to move away, but I didn’t. His mouth met mine with a tender reverence that made my heart skip a beat. His lips moved coaxingly and his tongue softly brushed mine. His hands curved around the back of my neck, his fingers buried in my hair.

I pulled back, my emotions chaotic and my thoughts in a turmoil.

“I made a promise to Kade,” Blane said, resting his forehead against mine. “When he was shot. I promised that if something happened to him, I’d take care of you. And I want to. God, I want to.”

I jerked away, my eyes wide. “You made a
promise
?” I repeated in disbelief.

I stood and started pacing. “Don’t you see how messed up this is?” I asked, an edge of hysteria in my voice. I gripped the sides of my head in frustration.

“Why is my making a promise so ‘messed up’?” Blane had risen, and he approached me without making a sound.

“I don’t believe you, Blane,” I said baldly. “I
can’t
.”

“You don’t believe that I love you?” Blane’s expression was forbidding, his jaw clenched tight. “You think I’d say that to just anyone?”

“Blane, your sense of duty, of honor, is such that I wonder if you even know if you really love me,” I said sadly. “And I can’t do this anymore, to either of us.”

“What do you mean?” he rasped.