Poison Kissed (32 page)

Drugsmoke shone in eerie purple light, green lasers flashing shadows from bodies, crawling wingbones, limbs contorted in pain or delight. Back here, the floor lay littered with crunched foil, dusty mirror shards, the sickly gleam of broken syringes smeared with greenmetal fluid. My sharp fairy ears twitched, and even in the crunching din I heard pulses, heartbeats, wet rasping breath, weaving around me and into the darkness like a throbbing web of life.

I sidled into flashing blue dark, stretching onto my tiptoes to look for Jasper. The tip of my nose whiffled, searching for his distinctive honeycomb scent amongst cologne and candy and the dark flowery cream of fairydust.

And there he was. Lounging against the iron wall, a long lean shadow sparking with static charge, the heavy glamour that turned him ordinary if you didn’t know how to look. Long lean legs in his habitual black, his pale arms and face a bitter contrast. Wild, crisp black hair, fresh with glitter and perfume, golden rings flashing in his ears. His velvetdark butterfly wings shed dust that glimmered and swirled in purple-shot lights.

I swallowed, and walked in his direction.

He leaned one steel-bangled forearm against the metal, muscles roped tight. Talking to someone, one of his sleazy friends or a mark. I couldn’t see. And then his wings swept back, and his long hair tumbled forward over a narrow green shoulder slick with blue waterfae sweat. Lavender lips, wet neongreen wings, a slow tempting smile.

I halted, my heart thumping.

A female smile.

Her green arm slipped around his waist, and he tugged her rippling golden hair back and kissed her.

My skin burned cold. I didn’t want to look. But horrid steel spikes jabbed my muscles, pinning me in place, and I could only stand and stare.

Kissing another girl. Not just a hello-sweetheart-wanna-buy-my-drugs kiss. A slow, deep, wet, tongue-on-tongue, let’s-get-naked kiss. Bodies rubbing together, his thumb pressing her chin upwards the way he liked, holding her so she couldn’t escape even if she wanted to. And she already melted in his arms. I could tell by the way her eyes closed, her head fell back, her glossy wingveins glowed brighter. I knew that hot, helpless dizziness, how he made you feel wanted, beautiful, the sexiest woman in the world. His hand crept up her skirt, between her thighs, caressing, and she moaned and pulled him closer.

Numb, I turned away, that old clockwork denial wound creaking its springs tight in my heart. It was okay, wasn’t it? Just kissing. Stupid to be upset. I knew Jasper wasn’t a saint. Hell, he sold drugs and stole stuff for a living. What did I expect? And I wasn’t exactly blameless, right? I’d just been kissing another guy. It didn’t mean anything.

Crazy laughter burst from my lips. Tick, tock, wind the clock, pretend it isn’t happening. Only I could come up with an excuse like that. They weren’t just kissing. The fucker was cheating on me. After everything I’d done for him.

Music throbbed in my guts, stirring them like worms in a mudpile. I felt hot and sick, impotent anger chewing my stomach raw. I’d sold my blood. Whored my dignity. Let some horny bloodsick beast chew on my throat and come in my lap with my blood running down his throat. I’d humiliated myself for him, and he didn’t care.

I swallowed, sniffling, but my throat cramped hot, and the tears just flowed faster. Not because Jasper lied to me. Not because he’d treated me like an idiot and it hurt deep inside like a poisoned blade.

Because I knew. I’d always known. I’d just never seen with my own eyes before.

I was besotted, but I wasn’t dumb, and fear and puppy love hadn’t dulled my sense of smell. Sometimes he reeked of cheap perfume and sex, fruity kisses in his mouth that weren’t mine, and like an obedient little wifey, I never complained. Only smiled and did my best to forget about it, and cried later in the bathroom where he wouldn’t see.

I only had myself to blame. Too pathetic and weak to do anything about it.

Well, not anymore.

Blindly, I walked off, fisting my tears with blood smearing neonbright. My sharp heels scraped welts in my ankles as I stumbled. I didn’t care. This was the last time Jasper would humiliate me like this. If he wanted to screw other women, fine. He could do it without me to come home to.

I plonked my ass onto a bar stool and swallowed, my bruised throat aching in dizzy alcohol scent. The neonglass bar glowed blue, vibrating under my palms as the music throbbed, and my blood invigorated, strength flowering in my muscles. Conviction hardened like steel in my heart. Yes. He could have his precious gemstone—whatever the horrid thing was for—and then I was dumping his dusty fairy ass.

But the cowardly worm in my stomach quailed and shivered, chewing its tail in mocking fright.
But you’ve got no cash, Emmy. No stuff. Nowhere to go. Whatcha gonna do, get a job? You’re just a useless bloodfae bitch. Who’ll protect you? How will you ever survive in that big old nasty world?

I clenched hot fists on the glass, sparking my courage. “Shut up. Screw him. I’ll get by somehow.”

But that sniveling fearworm just coiled there, a greasy smile on its fat face.
Sure, Emmy. You keep telling yourself that
.

I ordered a vodka and lime, and as I sipped the tart chill through a straw, determination ebbed uneasy in my heart. I could do it, right? I wouldn’t let him charm me this time. I’d forget his absent tenderness, the heady flavor of his kiss, the safety I felt in his arms. Instead I’d remember all the times he’d hurt me, all the thoughtless assumptions, harsh asides, and jokes at my expense, and I’d give him his gemstone and take off before he could work his sultry spell on me.

Get your hand off it, Emmy. One glance from those sultry hellviolet eyes and you’ll melt. You really think you can stand up to him? Remember what happens when you piss him off.

My courage wavered, the twin tangs of vodka and dread sour on my tongue. I still had aches from the last time he’d taught me a lesson, and the old fear crept comfortably into my stomach, warm and oily from constant use. I should just forget about it, the way I forgot all the fights and slaps and nasty words. Most of the time it was okay between us. Maybe this’d be the time he’d change, stop snorting so much of his own product, treat me better . . .

Yeah. And we’d all get ice-skating lessons in hell.

No, it was over. I was leaving him. I’d give him his lousy gemstone and walk away.

Uh-huh.

In a minute.

I gulped my drink, trying to suck confidence from alcohol and sweat-drenched air.

“Ember? You okay?”

That crystalchime voice rang sweet alarm in my head. The smell of roses rolled warm and tempting over my skin, and on the blue glass before me, my shadow’s edge glowed pink.

Shit.

Not Jasper. Worse.

My heart sank.