Positively Yours (4 page)

Beth just shrugged, her face a little flushed. She knew what everyone thought of Tom, and that they'd consider her mad to put up with a workaholic like him, but as she watched him run his fingers through his thick dark hair she felt no one knew him the way she did. No one knew about his passion for the Arts, or about the amount of unpublicized charity work he did. No one else saw his softer side, but she did and that was why she loved him. Tom finished his phone conversation, smiled at Beth, and then turned to one of the head partners, who was telling everyone about his new house in Portugal, and how the golf course beside it was the best in Europe. Beth excused herself from the group and went to refill her glass of wine.

Three hours later, as the sound of Madonna blared through the room, the dance floor filled. Beth was enjoying watching everyone dance when she felt a tap on her shoulder. It was Tom.

‘Hi,' he said, looking deep into her eyes.

Beth forgot all about the music as she smiled back at the tall gorgeous man in front of her.

‘You look great,' he said, staring at her new dress. ‘You always do.'

Beth felt butterflies in her stomach. No one could make her feel the things Tom did.

‘Let's get out of here,' he suggested.

She didn't need to be asked twice. She waited until he'd found his coat and gone outside before heading there herself. As much as she couldn't wait to feel his arms around her, she didn't want anyone to see her leave with the boss. He wasn't married any more, but their relationship was complicated, and the last thing she needed was an office rumour. After checking
that no one she knew was out on Angelsea Road, she stepped into Tom's blue Jaguar and nodded at his driver. Being CEO of a very successful company had many benefits, and Larry the driver was one.

Tom took Beth's hand and kissed it. ‘Let's go to my place,' he said, as he placed his hand on her leg.

Beth agreed, and as the car whizzed through Donnybrook and headed for Dalkey and Tom's house, she finally felt herself relax, and thanked God the work evening was over and their own special time was only just beginning.

Tom sat on the oversized armchair at the end of his bed. He opened a bottle of vintage red wine as Beth hung up her dress and removed her shoes. Her feet sank into the plush cream wool carpet. Tom only had the best in his large house in Dublin's wealthiest village. Everything about Tom's home – from the flat screen TVs to the small indoor swimming pool – left Beth in awe of it, and well aware why he always suggested they slept there. After his divorce, his wife had moved to Wicklow to be nearer her family, leaving Tom with the family home. And while his two children were both in college and mainly lived with their mum, they still had their own bedrooms here. Because of that, Beth was always careful not to leave any of her own belongings around in case they found them. Tom had redone the whole house after his wife moved out, and while it looked like a bachelor pad it still oozed class; Beth loved the art that hung on the walls in every room.

Tom had clearly drunk more than usual, and Beth was momentarily surprised as he whisked her off the bed and swung her around the room dancing to David Gray. He held her tight, and she seized the moment and hugged him back. As she clung close to his tall frame and listened to him hum the words of the songs she imagined what it would be like to live here permanently. To wake up with Tom every morning, to
fall asleep in his arms every night. To have her own wardrobe, to have dinner parties, to be a proper normal couple. Suddenly Tom pulled away from her and opened the drawer beside his bed. From it he pulled a small black velvet box.

‘This is for you,' he said, as Beth sat down on the bed beside him and gazed in surprise at the gift.

She opened the box. Inside was a white-gold bracelet. It was encrusted with diamonds. Beth was in shock.

‘What's this for?' she said, as she immediately placed the bracelet on her wrist.

‘No reason,' Tom said, helping her close the clasp. ‘Well, it's for being you, I suppose.'

Beth felt herself blush. Her heart raced.

‘For being lovely you,' he said. ‘Most women wouldn't put up with me and my lifestyle. I know I work too hard and that our relationship can be difficult. But I'm so glad I have you. You're like me, driven and ambitious. It's what I love about you.'

Beth swallowed hard. Her whole life people had praised her for being hard-working and ambitious, and told her it was her biggest asset, but that wasn't what she wanted to be loved for.

‘What we have works, Beth. We want the same: a great career, travel, friendship and, of course, fun! We're made for each other,' Tom said softly, as he kissed Beth's neck.

She bit her tongue. Tom was offering her everything except what most women of her age really wanted: marriage, kids, a family. She knew he had already had those and didn't want them again, but sometimes she wondered if she was mad not to demand them. She looked at the bracelet; it felt tainted. She knew Tom was offering her all he could, but was it enough?

Suddenly he flung his arms around her.

‘I'll miss you while I'm away,' he said, referring to the trip
he was taking the following Monday to America for a week's business. Beth didn't reply.

‘You know I love you, don't you?' he said, as he began kissing her neck. Beth didn't know if it was the drink talking or the romantic music in the background softening him up, but with that statement of love, she forgot all about engagements, babies and weddings, flung caution to the winds, sank into the soft Egyptian cotton sheets, and held tight to the man she loved.

ERIN DELANY DROVE
along red-brick Donnybrook Street and parked outside No. 23. She grabbed her appointment book, measuring tape and client folder and headed for the front door. Pretty young Ciara Ryan opened the door and beamed to see her standing there.

‘Come in!' she said.

Erin looked around the hallway of her newest client. Ciara and her husband Mark had recently bought an old house that needed a facelift. Erin knew the area, and from the start had been impressed that people so young-looking could afford such a big house. Situated on the south side of the city, Donnybrook was one of the most affluent suburbs of Dublin. Only minutes from the busy city centre, the area was known for its elegant period buildings and leafy tree-lined streets; a fashionable and exclusive place where many wanted to live.

Over the past few months Erin and Paula had been working with Mark and Ciara, helping them plan the refit of their new purchase. At the initial consultation Mark had admitted their first ideas had changed.

‘To be honest, when we put a bid in on this house we initially planned to redesign the whole thing, from basement to attic. But now, with the recession, we've had to make
cutbacks, and our budget's been slashed. But we still want to alter the important rooms.'

The recession was certainly affecting many clients' plans. But if Ciara and Mark's budget had been cut Erin was still happy to help. She'd learnt over the years that if she did even a small job for a client and they were happy with it, then months, or even years, later they would come back to her. Times were changing and any work was good.

Once the couple had decided on Paula as their architect Erin's work had begun. And after seeing the house a few times she'd felt she knew what needed to be done. The main thing Ciara wanted was a bigger kitchen. The current one was small, dark and unattractive. But there was a tiny dining room connected to it, and Paula felt that knocking these two together – and, if possible, extending out into the south-facing garden – would change the whole house completely. Kitchens were the heart of any home, and like many other clients, Ciara wanted an open-plan room that would be a cooking and dining area – and provide family space, too.

After getting the initial brief, Erin submitted some sketch proposals. At this early concept stage she was used to meeting her new clients many times as they tried to agree on a plan and design. And, to be honest, she felt that the more she met them, the more she'd understand their needs. Ciara and Mark were a pleasure to deal with, and after a few weeks they finally applied for planning permission for the proposed extension to the kitchen and family room. It would take another two months for the permission to be granted, but while they waited Erin started getting kitchen quotes, and putting together ideas about how she thought the place could be finished. She was prepared to help Mark and Ciara with window panels, colour schemes and kitchen designs – whatever they wanted.

Erin had called to the house today to show Ciara some ideas for kitchen flooring. Tiles, timber and stone were all options,
and the couple needed to narrow their choices before Erin talked to her suppliers.

‘This room is like a blank canvas,' said Erin as she took out her camera and showed Ciara examples of other, similar jobs she had worked on. ‘We really are starting afresh. I like to keep things pure and simple. Of course you will need soft furnishings too, but let's start by choosing the correct kitchen units, windows, floors and colours.

‘I know the room will be completely different from how it looks now, but we do still want to try to retain some of the character of this old house,' Ciara said.

Erin smiled. It was a relief to see someone as young as Ciara with taste. She was often surprised and disappointed by how many people wanted to tear down and destroy older houses, only to turn them into modern, soulless bachelor pads, full of blacks, greys and over-the-top plasma TVs.

‘Don't worry, I know exactly what kind of look we should be going for,' said Erin, as she accepted a cup of tea and began showing Ciara her ideas.

As the girls chatted, Erin could see Ciara glancing at her engagement and wedding rings.

‘They are beautiful. Did you pick them yourself?' Ciara asked, staring at Erin's sapphire, diamond and white-gold engagement ring, and the matching wedding ring.

Erin was delighted with the compliment, and smiled as she recounted how John had proposed to her.

‘We were on holiday in the South of France, and I had dragged John to Monte Carlo for a few days, as I just love Grace Kelly, and wanted to see where she had lived. So we visited the Cathedral of St Nicholas where she is buried, and after laying some fresh flowers, we decided to take a walk. The views from there are just beautiful. They look right out over the sea; it's fantastic! And suddenly, before I knew it, John
was on bended knee saying how Grace Kelly might have been Prince Rainier's princess, but I was his and would I marry him? I almost died! I didn't think we would get engaged for years; none of our friends were yet, and it was just such a surprise. And an even bigger one when he pulled out this gorgeous ring.'

‘Wow,' exclaimed Ciara, pouring Erin more tea. ‘He sounds so romantic. And what good taste in jewellery he has! You were so lucky to find him. I'm sure he has you and your kids spoilt rotten.'

Erin felt her stomach drop, yet forced herself to smile.

‘We're not parents yet. We have plenty of time for that.'

‘Oh, of course!' Ciara replied. ‘I'm sure you are so busy with your job you don't have time to think about children. Anyway, let me show you some interior magazines I bought the other day. I've marked some articles that have great photographs of remodelled kitchens.'

Erin felt so deflated as she followed Ciara into the front room. No matter how successful people thought she was, she felt such a failure. All she wanted was a child of her own. Millions of people got pregnant every day, yet she could not manage it herself. It was humiliating.

As Erin started taking notes about Ciara's ideas, she wondered: how is it that I can make an old house into a beautiful modern home, yet can't make myself into a mother?

ERIN WAS GETTING
stressed. She and John had an appointment with her GP, but John was running late and Erin was sitting alone in the small cramped waiting room, full of out-of-date magazines, kids with runny noses and old people complaining. Finally, John walked through the door. His face was weathered from a weekend of sailing, his sandy brown hair stuck out all over the place, and he was sweaty from running to the doctor's surgery.

‘Sorry, I got held up at work and then the traffic on Merrion Road was a nightmare. My God, it's roasting in here,' he said as he pulled off his suit jacket and tried to fan himself with a leaflet on chlamydia.

Erin started laughing, her stress fading away.

‘This is why I love you. You never fail to make me relax and laugh,' she said, as she handed him a bottle of water. Then she checked her watch to see exactly how late their appointment was running.

Eventually the receptionist stood up, and shouted to be heard over a screaming baby with flushed cheeks.

‘Mr and Mrs Delany? The doctor will see you now.'

Erin and John stood up and headed to the doctor's office.

Dr James Flynn greeted Erin warmly; he was her family doctor, and had known her since she was a small child. Erin
and John sat down on the metal chairs, and Erin felt John look for and hold her hand.

‘So, do you have my blood test results?' Erin asked, excitedly.

James Flynn looked at Erin, and saw the hope in her eyes. He remembered when she had had mumps aged six, and then glandular fever at seventeen, and couldn't believe that Paddy and Mary's little girl had grown up to be such a lovely young woman. But it still didn't make it any easier to say what he had to tell her.

‘The test results show nothing out of the ordinary. Your hormone and thyroid levels all came back normal. And, of course, we already know that John's sperm is healthy.'

‘But then, what is the problem?' asked Erin, who had been expecting answers.

‘I don't know why you and John are having problems conceiving,' Dr Flynn said. ‘I know this is tough for you.'