Possessed (9 page)

“
That’s such a lame excuse
Arelia! Lame! Lame! Lame! You always think that no one will
understand. The truth is you were only protecting
yourself.”

“
I don’t know what more I
can say besides sorry. I’m not perfect, but neither are you. You
have to trust me about the curse and the graveyard and believe that
what I’m telling you is for your own good. Please.”

“
Why should I believe you
now? Why? After you basically lied to my face and made me look like
a massive idiot! Go away. I don’t want to talk right now. Maybe
later, but not now.”

“
Sabrina, listen to me,
later could be too late. You need to take this bath
now.”

“
Go away!”

As I stood alone in that dim, seemingly
endless, blood-filled hallway and listened to Sabrina cry through
the door, I felt absurdly tired and defeated. Maybe some things
were better left alone and it was immature of me to think that
anything I did would actually make a difference. If Lucus had been
trapped at Darkwood for all these years, maybe he was meant to be
here. If anything happened to Sabrina, I would never forgive
myself. She was right, I was only protecting myself. If should have
told her about Lucus earlier.

That’s right, baby. Get on with your
life. Things will never change. There’s no point in trying. What
the hell is the point of being here? There is no hope for the
damned. He deserves it and maybe so do I. Take the princess and
leave.

Maybe Ivan was right. As much as I was
fighting it, I couldn’t ignore the feeling of emptiness and
confusion that was starting to take a hold of me. Just when I had
resolved to suck it up and fight for what I wanted, things seemed
to get even more complicated. Making resolutions was infinitely
easy but carrying through with them was an entirely different
story.

I let out a giant sigh and placed the
ingredients on the floor and dropped to my knees. The blood
dripping from the walls started to swim down the hallway in a lazy
but determined stream. Under the dim hall light it was thick and
ghastly. Oddly, I wanted it to swallow me whole and carry to some
place that was far away from Darkwood.

I placed my bloody palms over my face
and tried my hardest not to cry out of sheer frustration. At that
second, I didn’t want to be strong or heroic. All I wanted was
someone to wrap me in their arms and tell me that everything was
going to okay. That somehow this whole mess would be over and there
would be some cliché light at the end of the tunnel moment for all
of us.

My temples ached madly as I tried to
block out Ivan’s incessant rambling and philosophical musings.
Every angry, hateful and spiteful word he said was quickly draining
me of my will.

“
Arelia!” I heard Lucus’
voice call my name from down the hall, but I refused to pull my
hands away from my face for fear of what I might see.

Secure arms wrapped around me from
behind and the curtain of anxiety that gripped me started to slip
away. Still, I couldn’t open my eyes. Lucus didn’t say anything.
Instead, he simply held me, as nasty drops of warm blood splattered
onto my head in a furious stream.

“
I have to calm Sabrina
down,” I said. “She needs to take a bath because whatever happened
out there was plain strange and who knows what it’s capable of. I
need to help her.”

Lucus stood up and gently knocked on
the door. “Sabrina, please let me explain.”

“
Stay the hell away from
me!” Sabrina shrieked.

“
Please let us help you. I
swear, Arelia never meant to hurt you. It was all my fault, you can
put the blame on me. Hate me. Be angry, but please open the
door.”

“
You’re such an ass! Go
away! Of course you’re going to defend her.”

I had to smile as I watched Lucus plead
with Sabrina. It was actually pretty entertaining.

As if by some ominous force, above us,
the hall lights flashed and then went dead. Great.

“
The electricity always
seems to come and go with summer storms,” whispered Lucus, as he
grabbed the ingredients off the floor. He took my hand and pulled
me up. “Come on, we’ll help her, but let me help you
first.”

“
But…” My body refused to
move, as I heard Sabrina’s shrieks grow louder and more
agitated.

“
Give her a few
minutes.”

“
We need to help her
now.”

“
Come on, stubborn one.”
Lucus’ voice was firm and unwavering. “Let someone help you for
once.”

Reluctantly, I let him led me away from
the bedroom door and down the hall and into the familiar spacious
bathroom.

I was the worst best friend
ever.

Chapter 11

The First and Last
Time

In the bathroom, the cool marble floor
felt fresh, innocent and soothing against my dirty feet. The large
French window was ajar and I could hear vicious raindrops as they
mercilessly beat the ground below. I inhaled the alluring smell of
damp earth as it mixed with the sweet smell of roses, jasmine and
lilies. As the vivid aroma wafted into the bathroom, it filled me
with a sense of uncharacteristic alleviation and pure, simple
joy.

I realized that the strangest thing
about Darkwood was the constant feeling of conflict that it gave
me. One second it would present me with a side so ugly that I was
sure it was the most horrible place on the planet. But then, it
would lure me back in with its effortless beauty and otherworldly
charm. In many ways, Darkwood was kind of like a bad boyfriend who
was ridiculously good-looking. Darkwood was a Tony.

“
Luckily, there are
candles,” said Lucus, as he headed towards the deep tub and pulled
aside the wine-red silk drapes. He quickly lit the thick candles
surrounding it. As he did, I was startled by what I saw. There was
something vastly eerie about the way the china white bathtub glowed
as dozens of flames danced around it. In an otherwise dark room, it
appeared utterly haunting. As candle light illuminated Lucus’ mud
stained face, he was a vision that was ghostly but still undeniably
romantic.

A lock of dark hair fell over his left
eye and rested on his cheekbone. He turned on the tap and examined
the ingredients that he had laid on the ledge of the tub. It looked
like such a normal, everyday thing to do, preparing a bath. I
wondered if he knew how to make iced coffee or change a flat tire.
Did he know how to drive? Did he like cupcakes? Lucus caught me
staring, our eyes met, and he gave me a slight smile. He scratched
his forehead and with uncertainty grabbed some red brick
dust.

I couldn’t help but laugh. “You have no
idea what you’re doing, do you?”

He glanced at me through lowered lashes
and there was a short silence before he responded. “No,” he
admitted reluctantly.

“
You really are a mopey
prince who’s been locked up in a big old tower,” I quoted
Grand-mere as I walked over to where he stood and took the dust
from him and mixed it with the right amount of salt and oak leaves.
“That’s how it’s done,” I said playfully, as I threw it into the
water.

He shrugged and turned towards me.
“I’ve always had everything done for me; sometimes I suppose I can
be a bit useless,” he said, as he placed his arms around me and
drew me close. I could smell hot peppers and rum on his
breath.

See queen, even he thinks he’s useless
and worthless, why can’t you just see that already?

“
I don’t think you’re
useless,” I said, as I tried to ignore Ivan’s rambling.

“
That’s exactly how I felt
out in the cemetery. Powerless,” he said, as his glance held
mine.

I shook my head. “If it wasn’t for you,
I’m pretty sure Sabrina and I would still be out there bitching at
one another. At least she’s semi-safe in the bedroom.”

Murder/suicide is what I predict for
you two.

He was quiet for a moment and his face
went dark and reflective. The sound of running water became
unbearably loud, and I instinctively braced myself for bad news.
“If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t be here at all. You wouldn’t be
putting yourself in danger for my sake. What happened to Sabrina
tonight is my fault. Everything that is happening to you is my
fault.” He let out a low sigh. “I’ve realized that I’m being
awfully selfish by asking you to stay. I had no right to place you
in this position. My ghosts, sins and burdens shouldn’t be yours to
carry. You belong in the land of the living. Not here. Only the
dead and the damned belong here.”

“
No. Don’t say what I think
you’re going to say,” I said.

He took a deep breath. “After what’s
happened over the past few days, it’s clear that this is no place
for you. The spirits and ghosts are so much stronger here, and who
knows what they’re capable of doing, especially when a powerful
queen is around. I’ve interrupted your life and your friendship
with Sabrina. I never intended to do any of that. If Louis is
really bound in flesh and bone, I can understand why he would be
furious with me, but you don’t deserve any of his rage, you’ve done
nothing to deserve it. I think it’s best that you
leave…”

Yes! See, I told you he knows he should
stay here and rot. Don’t be a self-sacrificing girl with low
self-esteem, queen.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
In fact, it kind of made me more than a little angry. I pulled away
from him. “Oh my God! What the hell did you think would happen
here? For crying out loud, you’re under a voodoo curse!”

“
But that was
before…”

“
Before what?”

He sighed. “Before I…” He went
silent.

Frustrated, I decided to do the
talking. “Listen carefully. This is the first and last time we’re
going to have this conversation. You should have thought about all
of that before you invited me here and then begged me to stay!” I
crossed my arms and looked at him with utter fury. “Now’s not the
time to turn into a coward, and from where I’m standing that’s
exactly what you sound like. You’re the one who keeps going on and
on about the future being bright, yet you keep pulling
back.”

He took a deep breath and there was a
spark of fire behind his eyes. “I want you to be safe and happy; is
that so wrong?”

“
No. It’s not wrong, but it
is predictable. Are you trying to protect me? Please, it’s a little
too late for that. Don’t you remember what you told me when you
gave me this necklace?” I asked, as I lifted the silver dagger
chain up from my neck. “What am I supposed to do, leave and pretend
that none of this ever happened? Go back to being an indecisive
psychopath that ignores the spirits?” I tossed back my head and let
out a cynical laugh. I felt rage wash over me. From where I stood,
it was clear that Lucus didn’t really have any feelings for me.
That whole ‘we can’t be together because it’s too dangerous’
scenario was utter crap!

Don’t be a self-sacrificing girl with
low-self-esteem…

“
Well, my life is never
going to be normal again. It wasn’t even normal to begin, with so
you haven’t really interrupted anything. I don’t need your pity or
whatever this is. For the first time in my life I feel like I’m in
control. As weird as it may seem when I’m running around in swamp
or speaking to a spirit, I feel alive. I don’t feel like a bitter
robot complaining about everything. And I’m not being a
self-sacrificing girl with low self-esteem!” I cried, no longer
able to ignore Ivan’s voice. My face was hot and my voice was
hoarse. Sure, I could have been all calm and mature, but him
telling me to leave was essentially a big old slap in the face.
Maybe he thought I was too much drama or maybe he was just like
Tony and…

He drew me close again. I unwilling
felt my anger melt away. “Is that what you think? You think I pity
you?” His eyes dug into mine and begged me to try to understand.
His hand on my nape of my neck sent shivers down my
spine.

I shrugged.

“
Maybe I am being a coward,
but when I see you with someone like Tony or Ivan, I can’t help but
feel the way I do.”

Tony? Ivan? If I could only tell you
the truth about Ivan. “And how is that?” I wanted him to admit he
was jealous.

He took a long pause.

“
Well?” I asked
impatiently.

Finally, he spoke. His voice was low
and miserable as it blended with the violent rain. “You belong in a
world uncomplicated by the ugliness that my life is built on.
Sometimes I wish this entire plantation would go down in flames and
I would go along with it. My faith in you will never waver, but
watching you suffer on my account is horrific. I don’t deserve you.
I’m afraid that the deeper you get into this world, the more you’ll
despise me. And the thought of you feeling that way about me…I saw
your expression when you walked into the cemetery…The tears you
shed when you saw Louis’ grave. The mere thought of his body
rotting there while his soul is in turmoil is monstrous. Little by
little, you’re going to realize how ghastly my world is. I don’t
want you to think that I’m a monster.”

He doesn’t deserve peace. He admitted
it. All that self-hatred Prince Charming has is convincing, isn’t
it? He deserves to live in self-hatred.