Possessions (66 page)

But all the time, her hands were steady, adding to her collection of jewelry, boxed, priced, and lined up on a shelf. As an experiment, she had made two belt buckles of randomly shaped silver cut out in delicate patterns like lace and scattered petals. To display them, she bought a strip of dark blue velvet and another of wine-colored silk and made two wide belts by gathering the ends into the two halves of her buckles. She wore one of them—for good luck, she told herself—the day she went to the bank, to talk about her loan.

She had pushed it out of her mind, but when September was almost gone and she added up her bills, and what she thought she could get for her new jewelry, the numbers did not balance. They hardly ever do, she reflected wryly. But if I extend my loan for twelve months, the payments will be smaller. Then we can go somewhere at Thanksgiving.

At the bank, she filled out the application and gave it to a loan officer, waiting for more of the probing personal questions she had answered when she first applied for the loan. But this time it was different. The officer scanned the application, typed rapidly on his computer keyboard and in a few seconds read aloud her name and address from the screen. “Loan made in June,” he went on. “Payments made on time in July, August, and September. And the loan recently guaranteed . . .” He read silently. “Well, Mrs. Fraser, I see no problem; we'll begin with October fourth, next Monday, for twelve months. We'll have a new agreement for you to sign in a few minutes; the computer does it, you know; wonders of technology, aren't they?” He turned back to the terminal and began typing.

“Just a minute,” Katherine said. “I think there's a mistake. No one guaranteed this loan; that's why I brought the contracts I have with three jewelry stores—”

“Guaranteed by Ross Hay ward, according to our records, Mrs. Fraser, on September twenty-fifth. Just three days ago, in fact. So of course, there is no impediment to the extension.” He returned to his typing.

Katherine opened her mouth, then closed it. Ross knew she would refuse money, so he found another way to help her.
Clever, she thought; no one with any sense would reject a guarantee on a loan.

As soon as she was home, she called him at his office. “I was just at the bank,” she said, rushing through her words to get past the jolt of longing she felt at the sound of his voice, and his surprise and delight when he heard hers. “I found out you'd guaranteed my loan. It was wonderful of you. Thank you.”

“You're welcome,” he replied. “How are you? Victoria says you're working very hard.”

“I am. That's what she tells me about you.”

“Then she's right both times. Have you sold to any new stores?”

“No; I'm still working on the collection for Henri. Are the engineers working on the Macklin Building?”

“They had to put it off for two or three weeks.”

“Oh. That's too bad.” There was a silence. “I went to Calgary,” Katherine said abruptly. “I spent the day with Elissa.”

“Did you! That must have been difficult.”

“It was easier than I expected. She's a very easy person to be with. And she told me so many things I never knew . . .”

“You liked her.”

“Yes. And I understood why Craig went to her. She loves him so, and she's still waiting—”

“Even after you told her about Craig's call?”

“I didn't tell her,” Katherine said ruefully. “I couldn't; it would have made her so unhappy, and it wouldn't change anything for her, at least not now, before Craig and I . . . have had a chance . . .” Her voice faltered. “To talk.”

There was a long silence as they both recalled her anger at Ross for not telling her about Elissa. “Well,” Ross mused aloud. “That sounds like something I once said.”

“I should have told her,” Katherine said faintly.

“Probably. But you cared about her feelings. She's lucky to have such a friend.”

Don't rub it in, Katherine told him silently. After a moment, she said, “I guess I'd like to think about that.”

“Good.” His voice was warm.

“I wanted to tell you something else. I talked to a friend of Craig's, the man who's been mailing the money each month—”

“He said he had?”

“No. But he didn't deny it, either. I'm sure he's in touch with Craig and I left a message, asking Craig to come here.”

“To come back to you?”

“I said I had to talk to him. I'd hoped to hear from him by now, but it may take Hank a while to reach him. If he does. But I think he'll be here soon.”

“Do you know what you'll say to him?”

“I'm thinking about it.”

“Good,” he said once more.

“Ross, I haven't told Victoria and Tobias about Elissa.”

“Of course not.”

Katherine heard the door open; Jennifer and Todd, home from school. “I'd better go,” she said. “Thank you again. I'm grateful for your help.”

“I was glad to do it. Take care of yourself, Katherine.”

Hanging up, she turned to see two grouchy faces. “What's wrong with you?” she asked.

“Nothing,” said Todd, and went to the refrigerator.

“Jennifer?” Katherine asked.

“They announced the Father's Dinner today; it's in two weeks.”

“Father's Dinner?”

Todd slammed the refrigerator door. “Some dumb teacher thought it up; they didn't have it last year. You're supposed to bring your father and there's this big dinner in the gym and then some of the fathers and their kids put on a show.”

“It's to honor fathers,” Jennifer added. “Whatever that means.”

“We thought we'd borrow Ross,” said Todd off-handedly as he cut a chunk of cheese. “But he hasn't been around lately, has he?”

“No,” answered Katherine. “Do you want crackers with that?”

“Sure. Where is he?”

“Where he always is. He's pretty busy . . .”

“Yeh.”

Katherine took down a new box of crackers and handed it to Todd. “Sometimes people stop seeing each other for a while. They're still friends; it's just that they aren't together all the time.”

“Or ever,” Jennifer said. “Did you have a fight?”

“We had a disagreement. And then we decided we were . . . getting in each other's way when we needed to think about some important things.”

“Like what?” Todd asked.

“Like whether we should be together so much when I'm waiting for your dad to come back.”

Todd screwed up his eyes, then blurted, “Do you love Ross more than Dad?”

Katherine's throat tightened. I should have expected that, she thought. “I love them in different ways,” she said at last. “And I love you in another way. And Victoria and Tobias in another—”

‘Then why can't you be with Ross while you're thinking about waiting for Dad?”

“Because I get distracted,” Katherine said a little frantically. “It's hard to explain . . .”

Todd shook his head glumly. “It's a crock.” He tilted his head at Katherine. “How come you can't find a man who'll stay with you?”

“Todd!”
cried Jennifer. “That's mean!”

“It sure is,” Katherine said, feeling bruised. How much do you excuse, she wondered, because they're young and bewildered and don't have much control over their lives? Not much. I get bewildered, too, and I didn't have much control when Craig decided to leave. “It was a low blow and I think I deserve an apology.”

Todd scowled. “Well, I'm sorry. It was just that I was wishing we had a father.”

“You're not the only one,” said Katherine.

“How about Uncle Tobias?” Jennifer giggled. “We could borrow him.”

“I think you'd have a wonderful time,” Katherine replied.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. He's never been a father; it would be a new experience for him.”

“I want him!” Todd shouted. “He's better than Ross!” He glanced at Katherine's expressionless face. “I mean, nobody else will have a father
anything
like him.”

“Can I call him?” Jennifer asked.

“Why not?” said Katherine. “And then I'd like some help in the kitchen. We're having guests for dinner.”

“How will they taste?” Todd asked, trying to make Katherine smile.

She did, and gave him a hug. “Tough but sweet. It's Leslie and Claude.”

They laughed. And as Jennifer went to the telephone, and Todd finished the cheese and crackers, Katherine gave a small, private sigh. Another crisis bypassed—at least for a time.

*  *  *

Jennifer stood beside Claude, waiting, while he opened the bottle of Spanish sherry he had brought and filled three glasses. He looked at her grave face. “Would you and Todd like some?”

“No thank you. I hope it doesn't hurt your feelings, but we think it tastes awful.”

He smiled. “No hurt feelings. Did you want to ask me something?”

“Todd and I would like to borrow you to be our father, just for one night.”

A stunned look settled on Claude's face. Across the room, Katherine looked puzzled; Leslie alert and curious. “Was this planned with someone?” Claude asked.

“Just us,” Jennifer said. “We need a father for the Father's Dinner at school, and our own father is gone, and we can't ask Ross because he and Mother get in each other's way when they think about important things so he doesn't come around anymore, and I did ask Uncle Tobias but he has to be at an alumni dinner that night. And you're here.”

“So I am,” Claude agreed. Jennifer and Todd stood side by side, watching him. “I'd be honored to be your father. But I've never been one and I'm not sure I can do it in a way that will please you.”

“Just stay around for a while,” muttered Todd.

“Longer than one evening?” Claude asked.

“No,” said Jennifer. “That will do. Two weeks from tomorrow—that's a Wednesday night, is that all right?” He nodded. “Could you be here at five thirty? Then we could walk to school together. We should be finished by eight o'clock, so if you have more important things to do that night you can still do them.”

“That will be the most important thing I have to do that night,” said Claude. “Am I supposed to perform? Sing or dance?”

“Do you sing or dance ordinarily?” asked Jennifer.

“No. Definitely no.”

“Then you don't have to. Just be with us.”

“It will be a pleasure. Now, if you'll excuse me—” He carried the tray of sherry glasses to Katherine and Leslie, who had been whispering and now watched him with small, soft smiles.

“You're amazing,” Leslie murmured as he sat beside her on the couch. “Where did you learn to talk to children?”

“I don't talk to children. I talk to people. Leslie, did you and Katherine plan that?”

“Damn it, of course not. You know I'm not that devious.”

“What does that mean?” Katherine asked.

Leslie held her glass by its stem. “Katherine, will you drink to our momentous decision to marry?”

A smile lit Katherine's face. “How wonderful! Of course I will. To all the joys you'll have together.” After they drank, she said, “But I still don't understand—”

“You see, we've been having a dialogue. I want a child. Claude, being fifty, doesn't think—”

“Fifty-one.”

“Almost fifty-one, doesn't think he is at an optimum age to become a father. So when we walk in your front door and almost immediately he is asked to be a father, even for one night, he is naturally, or unnaturally, suspicious. I, on the other hand, think it's wonderful. Dress rehearsal.”

“What's wrong with fifty-one?” Katherine asked Claude.

“I'm set in my ways, I've never had to take infants into consideration when I schedule my days and nights, I've long since forgotten what the anxieties of childhood are like, and I'll be sixty-one when this child wants to play baseball. What kind of a father is that?”

“A little slow at running bases,” Katherine said. “But if you learn how to throw a fast one—and lawyers occasionally do, don't they?—the rest won't matter.” Claude chuckled. “What's more,” she went on, “you just said you don't talk to children; you talk to people. If you want to know about children's anxieties just think about people's anxieties; they aren't much different.”

“Faultless reasoning,” he said admiringly. “Do you think Leslie will be happy as a homebody?”

Katherine looked at her. “You'd give up your job?”

“How do I know?” Leslie asked crossly. “Claude thinks I can be president of Heath's if I fight for it. Maybe I don't want to fight. Or maybe I do, but not right now. Maybe I want to be domestic for a while. Maybe I'll decide to do both, like a four-armed wizard. Do I have to decide this very minute?”

“No,” Claude said. “And I'm sorry if I was pushing.” He put his hand on the back of Leslie's head, caressing her red curls and the nape of her neck. “I adore this woman,” he told Katherine. “I want to give her vacations in Italy and moonlight cruises in Scandinavia and balloon flights over the Himalayas, but all she wants, at least right now, is a child. I have a suspicion she really wants two, but so far I've managed to refrain from asking. Well, dear Leslie, I think we should have a child and see how we like it. If things don't work out, we'll give him or her to Jennifer and Todd.”

“You'll what?” cried Jennifer from across the room.

Leslie kissed him. “I'm marrying a clown. Things will work out. We can always come to Katherine for words of wisdom.”

Katherine jumped up. “I forgot about the wild rice,” she said and went to the kitchen.

Leslie followed. “What's wrong?”

“Nothing.” She turned down the flame a fraction. “You two looked so happy. And settled.”