Pounding the Pavement (11 page)

“Upper West, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Great. I thought I was in your neighborhood. Can you meet me outside my gym in about half an hour? I have a manuscript I want to give you.”

“Uh. Sure. Where’s your gym again?”

“You know where it is, doll. It’s the Equinox on Broadway. Broadway and … Ninety-second, I think?”

Ninety-second? How is that even remotely my neighborhood?

“Okay, Gracie. I’ll see you soon.”

“Bye, doll!”

Reluctantly, I hoist myself up and begin the trek twenty-four blocks north.

I find Princess standing outside, sipping from a two-dollar bottle of imported, natural spring water and shielding her eyes from the weak sunlight with her Armani glasses. She doesn’t look like she’s dressed for the gym. She looks like she’s dressed for a costume party with a “gym” theme. It isn’t enough that she’s wearing the twin set velour sweat suit—a zip-front hoodie with accompanying drawstring pants. She also has the matching headband. And spanking new sneakers the exact shade as the blue racing stripe running down the sides of her legs. If you think she’d have removed her diamond earrings—or her Cartier watch for that matter—you’d be sorely mistaken.

“Hey there, doll!” She waves at me.

“You already work out?”

“Uh-uh. Bikram in five minutes.” She takes a dainty sip of her water. “One hundred and five degrees and I still don’t break a sweat. Loved your last coverage, by the way.”

“Oh, thank—”

“Here ya go.” She dips into her Kate Spade tweed tote—currently doing double duty as a gym bag—and pulls out a Jiffy sealer.

“I was going to take it home and read it myself, but something came up last minute.”

I take it from her. It feels much heavier than the last one. That’s a good sign.

“No problem. I’m looking forward to it.”

“Great. No hurry getting the coverage back to me. Anytime next week is fine.” She removes her sunglasses and blows away the nonexistent dirt before carefully sliding them into a protective leather case. “So, in case you’re wondering, the reason I’m busy tonight is because I’m meeting Lenny for cocktails.”

I wasn’t wondering. But I raise my eyebrows and feign a curious, “Lenny …?”

“Oh, Sarah, don’t play coy. You remember Lenny
Hawkins.”
She waits for me to be impressed. So I give it my best shot.

“Really? The writer?”

“Uh-huh.” She winks at me. “The incredibly
gorgeous
writer, if you recall.”

Uh-uh. Don’t recall at all.

“Oh. Does he have a new novel he’s adapting or something?” I ask, already losing interest.

“Possibly.” She shrugs. “But I think we both know what this meeting is
really
about.”

“Right. Have a good a time tonight.”

“Oh, I will.” She starts backpedaling. “Take care!”

“Bye, Gracie.”

As I watch her hop up the steps to the gym, I am struck deeply with an emotion I never thought Gracie could provoke. I feel sorry for her.

I
dash back to my apartment and catch the mailman just as he pulls up to my building.

“Hello, hello, 4B!” His pencil-thin black mustache curls upward in a cat-like grin. He hands me my unemployment check.

“How’d I know you’d be out here today?”

“Lucky guess?”

He chuckles and sorts through his stack of envelopes.

“You got another one, too.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“A big one.” He hands over a large manila envelope, surprisingly thick. “I didn’t know you were going to be a hot-shot lawyer.”

“What?” I flip over the envelope. Indeed, it is addressed to me. But in the top left corner, it bears the emblem of a curious sender: Columbia University School of Law.

“M
om!”

“Yes, sweetie-pie?”

“Did you send me a law school application?”

“Yup sure did. I told you I was going to.”

“Uh-uh. Never.”

“I could have sworn—No. You’re right. Must have slipped my mind. See, Dad and I just thought—”

“Oh, no you don’t!” I throttle the phone as if it were her neck. “Leave Dad out of this. This stupid idea has your name written all over it.”

“Sweetie-pie, just relax. Let me finish. Dad and I have a deal for you.”

“A deal? I don’t know if I’m ready to negotiate any deals. Seeing how I lack the
legal
expertise and all.”

“I don’t see what other choices you have. Your father and I can’t continue supporting you forever.”

“I’ve never asked you for money—”

“Maybe not yet. But how else are you going to pay for health insurance?”

“I … well, I … I’ll get a job soon.”

“Yeah? You sure?”

No, I’m not. I wring the phone harder.

“We’ll take care of the law school tuition. It’s certainly a worthwhile investment. For you and for us.”

“But I don’t want to be a lawyer—”

“How about an entertainment lawyer?”

I gulp back the bile rising in throat.
Entertainment
lawyer? Good God, if ever a worse combination were to exist it would probably have to include mayonnaise and pistachio ice cream.

Entertainment lawyers. These are the sort of people who keep Satan’s phone number on speed dial. Because, in the end, one soul for a three-picture deal with 20th Century Fox is more than a fair-enough trade.

“We’ll pay for the application fee,” my mother continues, undaunted by my silence.

“I can think of far better ways for you to spend the money.”

“We’ll pay for the LSATs, too. There’s a test next month.”

“Seems like a waste to me.”

“And maybe a little extra cash on the side?”

“You’re bribing me to apply to law school?”

“Dad and I were thinking somewhere around three hundred dollars.”

“I’ll consider it.”

Call waiting, thank goodness!, intercedes on my behalf. I don’t even have to lie about it.

“Sarah? Sarah! What was that? You still there?”

“I’ve got another coming in.” I don’t bother to look at the caller ID. “It’s important.”

“All right, sweetie-pie. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Click.

“Hello?”

“Sarah. Mark Shapiro, here.”

“Mark.” I groan. “Oh, hey, Mark. Sorry, I was just about to call you. I don’t think the interview today went well at all—”

“Really? Barb just called me. She said they loved you.”

“You’ve got to be joking.”

“No, no,” he assures me. “They thought you were very smart and friendly. But they want to see a writing sample.”

“What kind of a writing sample?”

“Nothing too demanding. Maybe a couple of paragraphs, a page at the most. Something about real estate.”

“Oh, all right,” I grumble.

    I am putting the final touches on my essay when I notice the clock on my computer—which generally tends to run a few minutes behind—already reads 6:30 p.m. I save the document to send out the following morning, grab my bag, and dart out the door. I come back a few moments later to grab my MetroCard out of the pocket of yesterday’s jeans.

I manage to make good time and arrive at the Spring Street bar promptly at 7:15 p.m. As soon as I open the door, a bubbly brunette thrusts herself in front of me.

“You here for Six-Minute Match?” she chirps.

“Yup,” I reply, not nearly as cheerful.

“Super!” She takes a moment to outfit me with a personal name tag, a scorecard, and a list of sample questions.

“Now, have you been speed-dating before?” she asks.

“A couple of times.”

“Really? Are you interested in signing up for some of our Veteran Dating parties?”

I don’t answer her immediately, because for a moment the concept of Veteran Daters makes me shudder. I picture a slovenly clan, people with mangled limbs and bandaged hearts, trading war stories
from the dating front. And in the background, a fat woman is singing a karaoke version of “I Will Survive.”

I take the pamphlet from the hostess anyway and offer her a mumbled thanks. Then I make haste to the bar, where I’ve already spotted Laurie gabbing on her work cell phone.

“Yup, no problemo. I can ask her right now.” She winks at me as I take the seat beside her. “Let me call you back in five.” She snaps the cell phone shut.

“You want a job?” she asks.

“Of course I want a job.”

“The art department is a little shorthanded this week. The director just saw the walls for the apartment set. He hates them. They need to be repainted before we start shooting on Monday. You think you could help out?”

“For how long?”

“Two days? Three days? It’s three hundred dollars.”

“But I—”

“Paid under the table, of course.”

“Then I’d love to.”

The bartender strides past us and gives me a questioning look. I shake my head.

“You sure you don’t want a drink?” Laurie asks. “I’ll buy.”

“Nah, I wanna do this sober.”

She groans. “You’re not supposed to do it sober. It’s important to loosen up a bit before. That’s why they tell you to show up early.”

“Look, you know the rules. I let you drag me to these things ’cause you convinced me it was good interview practice. Now, until people start setting up an open bar in the reception area before meetings, I’m just—”

“Right, right, your
rules
. Sorry, I forgot. For a moment I thought you were doing this because it was
fun.”

“Fun is an expense I can’t write off anymore.”

“Too bad. I’m expensing this as a ‘networking party.’ ”

“You’re serious?”

“How else do you think I convinced my boss to let me out early?”

“That’s so depressing.”

“Wanna know something even more depressing? I checked my calendar and I can’t schedule one of these events again until September. I’ve got to wait until September to book a six-minute date! God forbid a guy ever asks me out to dinner. What am I gonna say? ‘Sorry, I’m only free from midnight to 4 a.m.’?” She tosses back half her drink. “But let’s not talk about that.” She leans in and whispers confidentially. “By the way, I’ve already picked one out. Check out the sailor in the corner.”