Authors: John Robin Jenkins
Meanwhile two maids had been carrying out things for tea.
Rebecca needed to go to the bathroom.
âWe would like to wash our hands, please,' said Diana.
âIs it necessary?' asked Lady Campton.
âYes, it is.'
âOh, very well. Simpson, show them where they can wash their hands.'
The maid did not take them into the house by the front door but led them round to the side to the servants' or tradesmen's entrance. They went through the big kitchen. They were shown into a bathroom too small for the five of them. It was one used by servants. Rebecca was horrified at having so little room in which to piddle, but her need was urgent. The others said they would wait till they got home.
They held a meeting.
âWe're being patronised,' said Effie.
âThey think we're beneath them,' said Jeanie.
âThis isn't the bathroom they use themselves,' said Rowena.
âPerhaps Lady Campton thought it was the most convenient one,' said Diana.
âDon't make excuses for them,' said Effie. âWhat time is it?'
âA quarter past four,' replied Diana.
âI vote we don't wait for Papa. Let's go home now. We can walk.'
âThat wouldn't be polite,' said Diana.
âPolite!' cried Jeanie. âIs it polite to make us use this smelly bathroom?'
âWe shouldn't give them the satisfaction of knowing they've humiliated us,' said Diana.
âWell, I'm not going to eat anything,' said Effie.
Suddenly Rebecca started to cry. She didn't often cry. Her feelings must be hurt. They comforted her.
âAll right,' said Diana. âWe'll tell them Rebecca wants to go home. Does everyone agree?'
Everyone did.
As they went through the kitchen they remembered to thank Simpson. It wasn't her fault.
They waited at the side of the house while Diana went to tell Lady Campton they were leaving.
âAsk Edwin to come and play badminton with us,' said Effie.
Diana did not falter as she addressed her hostess. âWe're sorry, Lady Campton, but Rebecca wants to go home. We've decided not to wait for Papa. We'll walk. It's not very far.'
Lady Campton frowned. She did not give a damn whether they went or stayed but objected to their making the decision themselves. âDon't you want any tea?'
âNo, thank you.' Diana looked at Edwin, who blushed. âIf you'd like to come and play badminton with us at Bell Heather Cottage you'd be very welcome.'
âWhat about me?' demanded Nigel. âHave I to come too? I'm better at badminton than he is.'
âNeither of you is going,' said their mother. âHave you forgotten that we're expecting friends?'
âThat's not till next week,' mumbled Edwin.
âGoodbye.' As Diana walked away she heard Lady Campton say: âImpudent little bitch! Who the hell does she think she is?'
âA descendant of the Johnny that helped to do Rizzio in,' said Sir Edwin, with a chuckle.
âI think she's super,' said Edwin, defiantly.
She imagined herself turning and shouting: âI'll tell you who
I am, Lady Campton. I'm one of the Sempill girls. We're going to live in Poverty Castle whether you like it or not.'
She was more pleased with Edwin's compliment than she should have been. It wasn't likely she would ever meet him again.
âWhat did they say?' asked Effie.
âLady Campton said I was an impudent little bitch.'
They gasped with indignation.
âDid you invite Edwin?' asked Jeanie.
âYes, but his mother said he couldn't come.'
âPoor Edwin. How does he manage to be so nice living with that family.'
âIsn't Nigel awful?' said Rowena.
She then began to give imitations of Nigel's awfulness. They were so funny that her sisters couldn't talk for laughing.
When they got home and told what had happened Papa was for rushing off to Kilcalmonell House to horsewhip the insolent baronet. He was disconcerted when his daughters pointed out that he didn't have a horse, never mind a horsewhip. Besides, they'd liked Sir Edwin, though he didn't know anything about cricket. He was afraid of Lady Campton. So was Edwin. Awful Nigel was her favourite.
They asked Rowena to give her imitations of Nigel.
âPoor boy,' gasped Mama, with tears of laughter in her eyes.
F
OR YEARS
there had been agitation in the village to get rid of tinkers whose encampments on the foreshore were insanitary eyesores. They defecated behind rocks. They spent most of their money on drink. They assaulted one another. They indulged in drunken sex in front of their children. Those children never went to school; this was deplored in theory but welcomed in practice, for God knew what diseases they would have transmitted, in addition to nits, lice, and fleas. If a respectable and law-abiding house-owner wanted to install a caravan in his own garden he had to have permission from the planning authorities. Yet the tinkers who paid no rates or taxes and lived on Welfare could clutter up every space on the shore with battered caravans, decrepit cars and vans, and tents made out of potato sacks, and authority said nothing. The police kept clear, owing to some absurd policy of non-harassment. A letter of protest had been sent to the Secretary of State. One of his minions had replied with insulting vagueness.
There was to be still another meeting in the village hall to discuss the problem. Papa thought it was his duty to attend but first he had to hear the tinkers' side of the argument. So he took time off from supervising the work being done on Poverty Castle to pay them a visit.
He was pleased when the girls asked to be allowed to go with him. Children, he said, were more logical than adults and had a fresher sense of fairness. Mama was doubtful. She was afraid they might see and hear things that would distress them. They were only little girls, after all.
They had debated the matter among themselves and were
inclined to sympathise with the tinkers but had agreed not to make up their minds until they had seen how the tinkers really lived. That they used the shore for their lavatory was not disgusting, as people seemed to think. If you didn't have a bathroom it was as good a place as any. As Effie said everybody's found its way to the sea in the end.
They went in the Daimler. It was another sunny afternoon.
âThey may think we are invading their privacy and be resentful,' said Mama, as they approached the first group of caravans.
As if to prove her right an old man, his hair as white as a seagull's breast, rose up from behind a rock on the shore. No one needed to ask what he had been doing. He shook his fist. At the same time an oyster-catcher piped shrilly. It was easy to imagine the sound as coming from the old man's mouth.
âYou see,' murmured Papa, âthey have feelings to be hurt, like the rest of us.'
He stopped the car.
Immediately there rushed at it three mongrel dogs, illnourished and bad-tempered, barking and snarling. They were followed by some children, boys and girls, three of them red-haired.
Two women were seated on stools outside a caravan, peeling potatoes. One was big and red-haired, the other white-haired and old. The children came closer to the car and stared up at its occupants. Two held out their hands, as if begging. They all jabbered. It sounded like a foreign language.
âIt's like being in Africa,' said Mama, âexcept that the natives are white.'
âBrown,' said Effie.
Her sisters put their fingers to their lips. The agreement was to take note but say nothing.
âThey are as Scottish as we are,' said Papa. âThey have names like Williamson, McPhie, and MacDonald. It is said that a long time ago their ancestors were cast out by their clans. No one knows why.'
Two men almost fell out of a caravan. One had a shotgun over his shoulder, the other an almost empty bottle of whisky in his hand.
âLet's go, Edward,' said Mama. âThat gun could be loaded and they are both quite drunk.'
Drunk but respectful. They approached the car, kicking the dogs out of their way. Shotgun touched his cap, Whisky-bottle his brow.
âWas there something you wanted, sir, or are you chust looking?' asked Shotgun.
âAre you aware,' said Papa solemnly, âthat there is to be a meeting in the village hall tomorrow evening to discuss ways of forcing you to leave the district?'
âThey're always haeing meetings,' said Whisky-bottle.
âIt's nane o' oor business,' said Shotgun.
âI'm afraid it's very much your business. What the village people object to is the mess you make on the foreshore. Just look at it.'
âWhit mess, sir?'
Both of them peered about them. They saw heaps of miscellaneous rubbish but no mess. They saw their homes.
An infant of about two, a little boy, naked from the waist down, toddled towards the car. In his tiny fist he clutched a stone. With it he began to batter the side of the car. Feeble though his strength was in a few seconds he had done pounds' worth of damage.
The girls gasped, regretting their vow of silence. They looked at Papa. The car was his pride and joy. Most men would have jumped out and restrained the infant, not too gently either. Papa sat still, not because he was afraid but because he thought a small tinker child was more important than his expensive car.
They felt very proud of him.
A girl picked up the infant.
âAre you the gentleman that belongs to the Big House, sir?' asked Shotgun. âIf you are I want to ask you if you minded me shooting a rabbit or two, for the pot.'
âI am not the gentleman that owns the Big House, but I should think he would mind very much.'
The big red-haired woman sauntered over. She was buxom and coarsely handsome. She wore a thin blue blouse with nothing under it and a pair of men's trousers that were not meant to house so ample and provocative a behind.
âWhit is it you want, sir?' she asked. âYou'll get nae sense oot o' this pair.'
âIs there anyone, a chief or elder, who speaks for you all?'
âIf you mean a boss, we've got nane here. We please oorselves. That's the kind of life we hae, free as birds.'
âYou look a sensible woman. What's your name?'
âI'm mair than sensible.' She grinned and lifted up her heavy breasts. âBella Williamson's my name.'
âIf you and your companions, Mrs Williamson, were promised a properly designed camp-site, with sanitary arrangements, would you live in it and undertake to keep it clean and tidy?'
Shotgun and Whisky-bottle slunk off. They seemed scared of the woman.
âWould we hae to pay a rent?' she asked.
âI expect so, but surely it would be worth it, to have decent toilet facilities?'
âWe don't mind sharing the shore wi' the seagulls. It's mair natural. This site, whaur would it be? Here? We think this is a grand spot.'
âIts situation would have to be decided.'
She grinned. âI can see you're as simple as you look, mister, but there's naething wrang wi' that. Simple folk are the nicest folk. Naebody wants us on their land. We've been chased awa' a dozen times. In the auld days when we worked for fermers it was different. We were welcome then.'
âYou should think of your children, Mrs Williamson. Doesn't it worry you that they get no schooling?'
âI got nane myself and I've done all right.'
âBut times change. It is too great a handicap nowadays not to be able at least to read and write.'
âMy weans are no' ignorant, if that's what you think. They ken things your lassies don't and never will.' She winked, lewdly. She was to tell a friend later that she wouldn't have minded carrying into her caravan the braw gentleman with the blue eyes and the milk-white body.
âPlease, Edward, let's go,' whispered Mama, aware of the trollop's enticement of Edward and afraid that the girls might be aware of it too.
He kept trying. âYou must find it most inconvenient having no reliable water supply.'
âStill, we manage to keep oorselves clean. Look.' She opened her blouse and showed one of her big white breasts. âMy trouble, mister, is that I feel lonely at night. Could you dae onything aboot that? My man's left me for a wee whure half his age.'
âGood afternoon.' Papa drove off.
They heard her laughing raucously.
âWhat a dreadful creature,' said Mama.
âBe fair, Meg. Not many women in her position would show such spirit.'
Mama lowered her voice. âShe was deliberately enticing you.'
W
HEN
R
EBECCA
became four she had taken her place in the girls' councils, as Rowena had done before her. Their contributions were often unexpected but useful. However, it was felt by Diana and the twins that it might be wiser to leave their little sisters out of their conference that followed their reconnoitring of the tinkers' camp. They feared Rebecca's inquisitiveness. Not about the old man doing Number Two behind a rock: the girls themselves on picnics had used rocks for the same purpose. Nor about the little boy with his boy-thing exposed. In Edinburgh one of their mother's friends had had a baby boy whom they had seen being bathed. It was the woman with red hair and big bosoms they were afraid Rebecca would ask questions about. She might want to know why the woman had kept grinning at Papa in yon funny way, and why Papa had smiled so peculiarly back. Those were mysteries that vexed Diana and the twins themselves.
The twins had looked for the word âhoor' in Papa's huge dictionary but could not find it. Probably it wasn't spelled the way the woman had said it.
Unfortunately Rebecca, though always sweet, could be very stubborn. She insisted on taking part. Since it was her democratic right her sisters had to give in.
Therefore all five of them met in the garden shed at Bell Heather Cottage, with upturned flower pots as seats. They were really seven, for a blackbird outside kept having his say too, and Squeaky the field mouse that lived in the shed crept out now and then and squeaked.