Powder Blu (21 page)

I was out walking through the park one morning getting my exercise in and trying to clear my head. Black had been on my mind constantly. I tried keeping myself busy so I wouldn't think about him but nothing helped. I was having dreams about him almost every night and in these dreams he was telling me that he forgave me for doing what I did. It was weird because I would talk back to him and apologize over and over. I even woke up a few times still crying. I took a seat on the bench to get some rest. I noticed some broad staring at me like she knew me. I sure didn't know her. I thought maybe she was one of Budz's or Black's bitches and still had a problem with me. Just when I was about to ask her what the fuck she was staring at, she walked over to me.

“Blu?” she asked, unsure.

“Yeah,” I said with an attitude, not recognizing her.

“It's me, Kellie,” she said with a smile.

“Kellie? Oh my goodness! You look so different,” I stood up and said, before giving her a hug.

“And you do too,” she said, pointing at my protruding belly. “When you due?”

“In a few months,” I replied.

“Oh wow, that's cool. Do you know what you havin'? It's been forever since I saw you,” Kellie said.

“I know, and yeah, I'm havin' a boy,” I said smiling. “So what have you been up to?” I asked.

“Well, I graduated from high school early and I got accepted into Harvard.”

“For real? That's wassup! I always knew you would become a doctor or a lawyer. Your parents made sure you stayed in them books,” I joked.

“Yeah, they did.” She laughed.

“Well, it was good seein' you,” I said getting ready to walk away.

“It was good seein' you too.” She smiled. “Hey, if you're not doin' anything tonight my friends are having me a birthday party at some Reggae club. I would love for you to come. Of course I know you can't drink, but just come and have some fun.”

It had been awhile since I'd been out and Lord knows I needed to get out of the house. I didn't have any friends so hanging out with Kellie and hers didn't sound like a bad idea. “That sounds nice. Let me give you my phone number and you can text me the information.”

“Great!” Kellie said, excited.

Me and Kellie exchanged numbers before I continued with my workout.

When I got home I went straight upstairs to look for something to wear. I went through like twenty outfits and none of them would do; they were either too small, too tight, or just didn't look right. My hormones must have been raging because I called Daren crying. He came right over and took me to Saks and bought me a cute little black maternity dress and some cute little black flats that matched.

Around six o'clock Kellie texted me the address to the Reggae bar that her friends were having her party at. My heart nearly stopped when I saw that the bar was the same one that Black lived on top of. After trying to come up with an excuse on why I couldn't make it to her party, Daren talked me into going. He said it might be just what I needed to get Black out of my system. With little fight, I agreed to go.

So many memories rushed me all at once as I pulled up in front of the half-packed bar. How ironic was it for Black's favorite song by R. Kelly “12 Play” to come on the radio? I couldn't take it. I broke down.

“Are you okay?” someone knocked on my window and asked.

I looked up at Kellie, rolled down my window, and smiled. “Yes, I'm good. It's just my hormones,” I lied.

“Well come on in here, girl, and let's have some fun,” Kellie said smiling.

She waited for me to get out. I walked around the car, took a deep breath, and walked into the club with my childhood friend. Being inside the club brought on so many mixed emotions, happy and sad. I found myself going to the bathroom and breaking down a few times. I really wanted to take the elevator up to Black's old apartment but I knew I wouldn't be able to handle that right now.

I really enjoyed myself with Kellie and her friends. They all made me feel welcome. Even though they were totally different from Sierra and Nikki they were still cool to kick it with. At the end of the party, I promised Kellie we would stay in touch and hang out. Once I made it home, I got undressed and lay in my bed. For the first time in a long time I prayed and asked God to watch over me and my unborn child because I knew it was gon' take more than me and Daren to get me through. After praying, I rubbed my round belly before crying myself to sleep.

It had been five months since I killed Black and I must say his death was the only one that bothered me. I didn't know if it was because I was carrying his seed and my child would be fatherless or if I still really loved him even after how he played me. I knew I would always miss Black because he'd taught me so much about life and myself and I would always love him for that. I wished he wouldn't have made me kill him; we would have been so good together. I heard through the grapevine they shipped his body back to Trinidad along with his wife and children. We held a candlelight vigil for him in front of the Reggae bar. I didn't want to go, but I didn't want it to seem suspicious that his right-hand girl wasn't there. I even shed a tear or two. I couldn't chance people trying to link me to his death.

Only person who really knew was Daren and I didn't have to tell him, he just knew. Black's death made a lot of niggas happy. With him out the way, the other drug dealers could finally make some money too. A lot had happened in the past couple of months. Yogi and Vomo were now my partners. Yogi wasn't only my partner in the game; we became a couple. He'd promised to raise my unborn child as his own. I couldn't do nothing but respect that. Daren made me leave the dope game and play the background at least until after I had the baby and Yogi agreed with his decision. Daren was so excited about becoming a grandpa. He went all out for my son, buying him all kinds of shit and he wasn't even born yet. Daren was nervous at first about me keeping Black's baby, fearing even after Black's death, niggas would still try to retaliate against his family. Him and Yogi went out their way to make sure I was protected at all times. I was so grateful to have them in my life. I thought back on my life and realized how far I'd come from selling drugs outta my momma's apartment, to running my own operation.

Speaking of my momma, I hadn't seen or heard from her since the night I showed up at her door. I was cool with that. Word on the street was Nikki was fucking Cordell, my sloppy seconds of course, and had caught a case transporting drugs across the state line for him. She was doing five years in the penitentiary. They said the nigga wouldn't even take out for her; that's what she get for trying so hard to be me. Sierra was still doing the same thing: drinking, smoking and fucking everything moving. I had been through more in the past three years than the average person went through in a lifetime, but thankfully I made it through alive and well.

My girl Kellie was throwing me a baby shower and she had Daren, Yogi, and Vomo at my house trying their best to decorate. Kellie had never given up on our friendship and I realized maybe having a normal, slow-paced friend really wasn't so bad after all; she could help me stay on a straight path. It was funny watching the men blow up balloons and having them pop in their faces. We were all laughing, talking, and playing around when the doorbell rang.

“I know the guests haven't started arrivin' already. The baby shower isn't for another three hours,” Kellie said while looking at her watch.

“You know white folks show up on time,” Daren joked.

“They sho'll do.” Vomo laughed.

“I'll get it,” Yogi said.

“No, baby, you keep decoratin'. I'll get it,” I said.

“Okay,” Yogi said kissing me on the lips and continued blowing up balloons.

I walked over to the door and opened it up, but there was nobody there.
That's strange,
I thought as I looked around but didn't see anyone. Before closing the door I looked down and there lay a white rose with a note attached to it. I thought back to the first time I'd found a white rose on my windshield that day I was at the party store shopping for Budz's coming home party. I still never found out who had put the rose there.

Not again,
I thought as I picked the rose up and put it to my nose. It smelled just like Black's cologne. I just knew somebody was playing a cruel trick on me, I just didn't know who or what for. I knew Black was dead. I made sure of that. Curious, I tore the note from the stem and it read:

 

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Powder Blu Copyright © 2014 Brandi Johnson

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ISBN: 978-1-6016-2636-3