Practice Makes Perfect (14 page)

“All right.” Jade took the quick hug from Paige, then pulled away. “I vowed I’d do this as soon as I got here and I will. Just promise that you’ll tell me what you’re feeling after you know everything.”

“I promise.”

“Okay. I was bartending at a place in the theater district in Manhattan when I met Jewel’s father.”

“At Echo’s. I knew where you worked.”

“Yes. But you didn’t know about him. He produces Broadway shows.” She stared out over the water. “His most recent smash was
OnLine
.”

“Lewis Beckman? He was on the cover of
Time
a while ago.”

“Uh-huh. He’s a genius.”

He was also older. A lot older than Jade.

“At first it was fun flirting with him. I knew he was married, of course. He’d brought Cynthia into the bar after shows a couple of times. Then he stopped bringing her.” Jade drew in a breath. “It was stupid to let him close. But I was lonely, and tired of being by myself.”

“You had a lot of boyfriends.”

“All losers. All uninteresting. Anyway, I fell hard for Beck. Finally I slept with him. It was all fun and glamorous at first. Shows. Parties. No one seemed to care that he had a mistress. New York sophistication, I guess.”

Paige kept her mouth shut. Much as she hated the thought of Jade’s affair with a married man, she would never have turned her back on her sister. So why had Jade stayed away?

“When I got pregnant, he wasn’t pleased. He and Cynthia had decided not to have kids. He’d had a vasectomy and he thought the baby was someone else’s. I knew it wasn’t, of course, because I was only sleeping with him—we’d been together a year. So he took me to a doctor, and we had DNA tests. No doubt, Jewel was his. The snip-snip hadn’t worked as well as they thought.”

Paige cringed. How could Jade allow that degradation? Paige would have slapped the guy and walked out before she’d have submitted to a test because he doubted her word.

“I cried during the whole test. Ultimately his distrust was enough to kill my feelings for him. I didn’t want a relationship with him anymore.”

“Good.”

Jade looked at her then. “But I needed him, Paige. For Jewel. I couldn’t raise her on my salary even if I could keep working.”

“Oh, no, Jade, you didn’t.”

“I did. I let him take care of us. Actually I demanded it. I told him I wanted support for Jewel for three years. That was all, then I’d leave town. But I wanted the best of everything for her—a nice place to live, clothes, a good preschool, dance and swim lessons. The whole shebang.”

So Jade had wanted what they’d never had as children growing up in the projects. Jade wanted what Paige had worked her tail off to achieve.

She reached out and squeezed Jade’s hand. “Honey, I would have taken care of both you and Jewel. You didn’t have to resort to...that.”

Jade winced. “I’d do anything for Jewel. Even
that
.”

“But you wouldn’t come to me for Jewel.” Paige’s words were bitter. “Why?”

“Mostly because you have to have everything perfect—Perfect Paige. You set very high standards for yourself and other people. It started right after we left Serenity House when you turned eighteen. You became so serious and responsible. As if it were a crime to have fun. And it only got worse. I can’t live up to your standards.”

What happened to you to make you this unforgiving, this distrustful?

“Is it easier to be a married man’s...”

“It’s easier for Jewel. Your disapproval would have hurt her.” Jade ran a hand through her hair. “Look, I might not be as smart as you, but I read all the stuff on how the first three years of life are the most crucial psychologically. It’s why I wanted to be home with her and nurture her and give her everything those first few years.” She blew out a breath. “God, I don’t want her to be as screwed up as we are.”

Paige stiffened. These days, she never thought of herself as “screwed up.”

“So I told Beck I wanted his support for three years. I wanted Jewel to have everything. Then I’d take responsibility for her. He agreed.”

“Of course he did. He got a young and beautiful bed partner in the process.”

Jade’s eyes teared up and she looked away. “I knew this was going to be hard. I just didn’t think it would hurt so much.”

Paige watched her. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, you shouldn’t have. But not for the reason you mean. It’s not accurate. I didn’t sleep with Beck again. He came to see Jewel regularly, and frankly we got to be friends. He’s a nice guy, outside of all the male/female stuff. And mostly he kept his part of the deal.” Her face darkened. Paige could see it in the outdoor halogen light.

“What?”

“When the time came, he didn’t want us to leave. He said he loved Jewel. And me, I think, though in a different way from before. We quarreled about my leaving.”

“Why
did
you leave?”

“I deserve more than what he was offering. I want a life for us, a real one.”

“Good for you.”

“So I decided to start making it. Jewel turned three last month, Nora’s invitation came, and it was time to bite the bullet and tell you the whole sordid story.”

Paige said nothing, her mind whirling. On the one hand, she hated thinking of Jade dependent on a man like Beckman. On the other, she could understand wanting the best for your child. That was, after all, why Paige had given up her own baby.

“You promised you’d be honest with me,” Jade prompted.

“I will.”

“You disapprove of what I did, don’t you.”

“Jade, it’s not black and white. I think you had alternatives, is all.”

“Since when did you start believing in alternatives?”

“What do you mean?”

“After you had the baby, you said there was no alternative but to give it up.”

“I couldn’t keep her, Jade.”

Jade stilled, the glass halfway to her mouth. Finally she said, “You know?”

“Yeah. Darcy let it slip.”

“Darcy. As in Shannon?”

“It’s O’Malley now. She lives across the street with her two kids.”

Jade smiled. “We fought like cats and dogs. Last I knew, she was married and living in Pennsylvania.”

“She was. But the guy left her, and she couldn’t make ends meet, so she came home to live with her mother.”

“Oh, God, not Marian the Librarian.” The house sisters had given Darcy’s mother the moniker from
The Music Man
because she was so straitlaced. “Darcy must be dying.”

“No, she isn’t. She’s become very respectable.”

“You say that with pride.”

“Do I?”

“Mmm.” Jade stood. “Anyway, Jewel and I will leave the house tomorrow. I can’t wake her up now to take her to the hotel.”

Paige was confused. “What do you mean?”

“I won’t stay here with that disapproval etched all over your face, Paige.”

“I don’t disapprove. Do I have to agree with what you did for me to be a sister to you and an aunt to Jewel?”

“No. But I will not have Jewel hurt by your prejudices. She’s had a good life so far and I’ll make it stay good if I have to work my fingers to the bone. But I won’t let anyone hurt her. As far as she’s concerned, and everybody else, I was married to an older man when she was born, he died, and we came back home. I’ve legally changed both our names to Anderson to support the story.”

“If you were so sure I’d disapprove, why didn’t you tell
me
that same story?”

Swallowing the last of her wine, Jade set the glass down on the table. She wrapped her arms defensively around her waist. “I probably should have. You’d have accepted it without question. But I love you, and I couldn’t bear to lie to you. Don’t worry, we won’t ruin your reputation here. We’ll only stay till the wedding. Then we’ll go away.”

“You said you had business to take care of here. Will you do that before the wedding, too?”

Jade shook her head as if Paige had said something incredibly stupid. “I’ve just done it, Paige. Tonight.”

Paige watched the person she loved more than anyone in the world walk into the house, head high, shoulders stiff.

She almost couldn’t contain what she felt inside.

o0o

KNOCKING ON THE DOOR of Serenity House, Paige prayed Nora was still awake. She needed to talk to someone. Now.

She’d wanted to go to Ian, to tell him everything, but she didn’t want to breach Jade’s privacy. If she could have handled this alone, she wouldn’t have come to see Nora. But it was midnight and she’d tossed and turned in her bed, so she’d gotten up, thrown on shorts and a shirt, crept downstairs and left her house. Earlier she’d told Jade she was sometimes called out at night, so her sister wouldn’t worry if she got up and noticed her absence.

The door swung open and before her stood Charly Donovan, one of the original residents of Serenity House. “Paige, hi.”

“Charly? What are you doing here?” She glanced at Charly’s nightclothes—simple pajama bottoms and a T-shirt. With her dark hair pulled back in a ponytail, she looked like one of the kids who lived here now.

“I, um, well, it’s a long story. Can I help you?”

“I need to see Nora.”

I need to see Nora. Now
. It was a refrain all the girls had used at one time or another.

“She’s out with Dan. I expect her back anytime.”

“Oh.”

“Why don’t you wait?” She nodded to the porch swing. “I’ll sit out here with you. Just let me tell one of the girls where I am.”

That was odd. Why was Charly reporting her whereabouts to the Serenity House girls? Why was she here, ready for bed?

When they were seated on the swing, Charly smiled at her. “I’m taking over as director of Serenity House, Paige. Right after Nora and Dan get married. She plans to tell everybody when we get together at the lake.”

One of Nora’s requests was that all the Serenity House “sisters” gather at Dan’s cottage on Keuka Lake for a few days before the wedding.

“I can’t believe she’s quitting.”

Charly said, “She waited all her life for this time with Dan. He’s retiring next summer, too.”

So many surprises. Paige felt herself close down. “What about your life in Elmwood? And Tim?” Charly’s late husband had had a son by a former marriage. Charly adored him and had been the World’s Greatest Stepmom.

Charly pushed at the floor with her bare foot and the swing started to move. “He’s at Cornell, just like his dad wanted.”

Lulled by the soothing motion, Paige asked, “You miss Cal, don’t you?”

“More than I can say. But I needed to move on. I sat at home for too long and mourned his death.” She gestured at Serenity House. “This is good for me. I haven’t used my degree in social work in years.”

“And you always took care of us.”

“No, Paige, you were the caretaker. I was the peacemaker.”

Weakly Paige smiled.

“Something’s wrong.”

“Yes.”

A car door slammed. Feminine giggles and male rumbles were heard. “The lovebirds are home,” Charly announced with a smile.

Paige chuckled. Nora’s happiness was a bright spot in everybody’s life. She and Dan strolled up the walkway arm and arm and climbed the steps.

Dan spotted them first. “Well, if this doesn’t bring back memories.”

Bad ones
, Paige thought.
Ones I don’t want to resurrect
.

“Hi, Paige.” Nora glanced at Charly. “Did we need a doctor? Is something wrong?”

“No. Paige came to see you.” Charly stood. “I’ll go in.” She squeezed Paige’s arm. “Take care.”

“I’m going, too.” Dan turned. “Good night, Charly. Nice to see you, Paige.” He gave Nora a sound kiss, headed back to his car and left.

o0o

ONCE THEY WERE ALONE, Nora looked at the young woman seated on the swing and was swamped by familiar emotions. Of all the girls in that first group who had come to Serenity House, this was the one she’d helped the least. Because Paige hadn’t
let
anybody help her.

Nora crossed to the swing and smiled. All the girls had had their turns out here. Nora had insisted on having one hour with each girl every week to talk, to listen to the birds, to spend idle time together. She sat down and picked up Paige’s hand. Paige stiffened, something she hadn’t done in years. Nora held on more tightly. “What’s wrong?”

Paige rocked the swing. Finally she said, “Jade came home.”

It must be really bad if Nora didn’t have to pry the problem out of her. “You know why she stayed away?”

“Yes. I can’t tell you though. It’s too personal.”

Jade would tell her, anyway, Nora knew. Paige was the only one who guarded her thoughts as if they were state secrets. “Why are you so upset?”

“Because she didn’t tell me.” Paige peered over at Nora with wide eyes, the color of the night. “Nora, am I judgmental, inflexible...so unforgiving that my own sister’s afraid to tell me things?”

Nora took a breath. “You are fair, flexible and forgiving in your professional life. In your personal life, you expect a lot from people. And it’s hard for you to trust.”

“I trusted Jade.”

“And she didn’t trust you to tell you her problems. Instead, she chose to stay away. That must hurt.”

Nora knew only too well how girls from Serenity House found it hard to trust. “Sweetie, don’t blow this out of proportion.”

“What do you mean, blow it out of proportion? My own sister thinks I’m such a judgmental perfectionist that she refused to see me for years.”

“You aren’t that. You’re just harder on yourself than anyone else.”

“Jade called me Perfect Paige. Ian said I was unforgiving.”

“Ian Chandler?”

“Yes. He...I...I’ve just started to...I don’t know...”

Nora studied her. “I’ve watched Ian with you. He’d be good for you.”

Shaking her head, Paige’s eyes narrowed. “It would be a mistake to let him in.”

“Were you letting him in?”

Paige looked away.

Nora reached over and tilted her chin. “Paige, were you?”

Slowly Paige nodded.

Tonight she was so much the child she’d been when she’d come here fifteen years ago. She even looked young, with no makeup and her hair pulled back in a ponytail. Well, Nora had made some progress with Paige and had supported her during her pregnancy. But after the birth of her baby, Paige had closed down. “Then don’t back away, Paige,” she said. “Ian’s a good man.”