Praefatio: A Novel (35 page)

“My God, you’re beautiful.” Gavin smiled as he walked toward me from somewhere out of nowhere. He was clean shaven and dressed in a crisp, white button-down shirt and dark trousers.

I wanted to curl up in his arms, eat, and sleep. I started to wobble a little.

Gavin raced over and caught me as I fell into his waiting arms. “So beautiful, so human.” Gavin leaned forward to kiss my mouth.

I had just enough strength to kiss him back before the dizziness set in. “I need to eat something.” My voice came out in a breathless whisper.

Gavin released me slowly. He pulled a cell phone from his right pocket. “Cerin, please bring Grace’s dinner.”

Before I could blink three times, Cerin and two other Lesser Angels appeared carrying a covered tray, a vase of tulips, a pitcher of tea, a blanket, and something in a covered box. They lowered everything onto the blanket that had already been laid out beneath us, and then left.

Gavin took my hand and helped me to the floor before pouring me a glass of iced tea. What else could I do but smile? He’d thought of everything, including a vase of my favorite flowers: white tulips, thirty-two of them.

Gavin watched as I filled up on steak with mushrooms and red wine sauce, broccoli, couscous, and salad. I knew when certain things pleased him by the way he smiled, played with his hair, or touched his lips. I allowed myself to relax for the first time since this had all started, and just enjoyed the sound of his voice, the pleasure of his company, the tastes and textures of my food. When my mind wandered to thoughts of after dinner, I allowed it, despite knowing Gavin was probably listening.

“How was your dinner?” Gavin asked, staring at me as if it were his turn to eat.

“Wonderful. Thank you.” I pulled him into a deep kiss. It had felt like forever since we’d been alone. He rubbed his nose against mine, then tilted his head and kissed me as if he’d been waiting to do so for a long time. It was like drowning. My ears began to clog and I felt as if I couldn’t breathe. The pressure of being
me
had returned, along with all that stood between us. I pulled away.

My encounter with Lucifer had not gone as planned. Besides that, I needed to explain about Tyler, and I wanted to understand what had happened with Gavin and Michael. I wanted to discuss our future, to thank Gavin for my gift even if I had no idea what it was for, to ask for help with Remi, to talk to him about Emeria, and to ask him not to cut his hair.

“Your father, Lucifer. I don’t understand.” I didn’t think I needed to say much else, and I was certain that wasn’t the first time someone had ever said that to him.

Gavin’s twisted eyebrows were no match for his heaving chest.

“It wasn’t supposed to be this way,” he said, as if remembering a happier time. He leaned back on his elbows and closed his eyes.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” I reached for him, but my hand only touched his side, and it seemed to startle him. He sat up.

“When my father was thrown out, it nearly killed Tyler and me. We were alone. We couldn’t go with him. The elders wouldn’t let us, even if we’d wanted to. We didn’t belong out there, so we stayed. Dad felt betrayed. Who could blame him?” That last part was nearly a whisper. “And then my idiot brother made things infinitely worse. He’s got the same pigheaded, stubborn streak as my dad.”

“But you were just kids then.” I saw the whole thing in my head while he spoke. I was sure it was a memory. Tears pooled, then fell from my swelling eyes. I reached for him. In that moment, I realized that Lucifer had what he’d wanted from the start: two Fallen and by his side. Only problem was they never wanted any of it. “I’m so sorry, Gavin.” And then something occurred to me. Perhaps Lucifer was the one who had orchestrated the entire thing.

It became clear why Lucifer despised me so. Gavin chose to Fall because of me and not him. And it also became clear that I could never measure up to Gavin’s love or Lucifer’s hatred.

Gavin sat forward and leaned close enough that I felt his breath on my neck. He let his lips brush my skin once, then again slightly harder. My breaths came in uneven bursts, forcing themselves from my thumping chest. Placing a hand on my neck, and letting his palm come to rest on my collar bone, Gavin took my trembling lips in his in a kiss that began softly. Seconds passed, and the kiss became all-consuming, as if we had been kissing with our entire bodies, minds, and souls. I let the fire between us melt away all that I had wanted to ask him.

Gavin turned his attention to my neck for what seemed like a sweet eternity before moving to just behind my ear. “You feel so good.” He pulled me in closer, slipping his hand under my sweater right below my ribs, causing a sigh to escape my lips and an arch in my back. Gavin’s response was not as subtle.

I felt like one of his string instruments beneath him, his hands caressing the skin just under my bra. He watched me as he did. Watching him watch me was as intoxicating as it was beautiful. His hair glistened against the twinkling lights above. Even though he was Fallen, he emitted light. And there was something about him that left me speechless when I looked at him.

He steadied my head and returned his mouth to mine. I hadn’t realized how much I hungered for him, to feel his lips on mine.

***

I lost my train of thought. I became flustered, realizing I had been sharing intimate details of my time with Gavin with complete strangers who wanted to see him imprisoned. They would stop at nothing to make sure that he spent the rest of this life behind bars. And then, they would come for me, after they forced me to testify, to make false statements, they would lock me away forever so no one would know what they did.

But Seargent Mullane would never do that. He was Dad’s best friend. He was like my uncle. He would never do that to me. He would never allow Gavin to be railroaded. I don’t think. I continued my statement despite my reservations.

***

Always the gentlemen, he did not allow me to meet his kiss by raising my head off the floor. I listened to his intentions in his mind while he slid himself on top of me with a sudden sense of urgency and longing. It felt as if he was pulling me into his aura, to become one with him.

Gavin removed my sweater. “God, you’re beautiful.” Gavin’s eyes held a wildness in them that frightened me.

I touched his face, and immediately, I felt as if something was pulling me away from him, as if I was falling. He seemed to be getting farther out of my reach.

He placed my sweater on the floor next to me. “Are you okay, Grace?”

I wasn’t okay. My head was hurting; a little at first, then almost unbearably in just a few seconds. But Gavin had moved on, to my ear, planting short breathy kisses there.

“Gavin.”

He looked down at me, from way up there. “I’ve waited my entire life for you. Do you have any idea how much I love you, how
long
I have loved you?” He was nearly out of breath.

I shook my head back and forth. “No!” I blinked my eyes to try to make the pain stop. I reached for Gavin, to keep him with me. It felt like I was being pulled, no, sucked, into a black hole at a horribly fast speed, faster than my body could stand. It was crushing my head from the sides. Fighting was futile. My ears clogged completely, and Gavin’s words came out muffled and garbled. Thoughts and voices invaded my head from miles around. They were like someone swiftly changing stations on the radio. In between stations was loud, white noise. Parts of my consciousness, my awareness about who I was, was being shut down like a machine, one switch at a time.

“Grace!”

Gavin pulled me to him, but I pulled away. I didn’t want them to take me. The pain in my head worsened. It felt like my personality, my essence, was being drained. Something was sucking thoughts, visions, sensations, and emotions out of me. I tried to get Gavin’s attention, to get his help. He misunderstood.

She was staring at me like I was some kind of freak. What am I doing here? The kids outside are protesting. I stand, but I can’t move like I want to. Shackles? They don’t believe me! Gavin? I’ll tell them everything. They have to let you go. They’ve reached a verdict.

Gavin tried pulling me to him again, but I stood up and screamed, “No!”

With only my bra, jeans, and boots on, I ran out of the stable. The sound of my own screaming and my boots crunching the snow beneath my feet filled the air, echoing back at me like a sick taunt. I ran in the dark, unable to see more than a few inches in front of myself. Someone was chasing me. My head exploded in ripples of pain, and I fell to the ground. All I could do was hope whoever was chasing me wouldn’t be able to find me in the pitch-darkness.

“Help! Somebody help me, please.” After a few minutes of being out in the December snow, nearly naked, I thought I might die out there.

“Grace! Grace!”

I stumbled to my now-frozen feet and began running, albeit slower this time.

I ran, not away from him, but toward relief from the pain.

Blinding lights fell upon me. Dogs, five of them, surrounded me, barking incessantly at me, as if they’d found what they had been searching for.

“It’s her. Good Lord. Somebody cover her up! Put the cuffs on Vault.”

I didn’t hear anything after that.

For My Own Good

The room was different, brighter. Was it daytime? Had I been talking all night?

I pushed the microphone away as I leaned forward, placing my head in my hands. The aching in my head was gone. Gone too was the fly I’d made friends with. After stretching, I stood and sighed a long sigh. It felt good to move around. I had no problems moving now, and walked toward the camera and looked directly into the lens.

“Hello? Anyone there?” I tapped on the two-way mirror. “Officer Bladen? Mom?”

“All right, Grace, this is how it’s gonna go,” Sergeant Mullane instructed as he entered the room. I turned to face him. His abruptness was foreign to me. He had always been so nice, kind, and supportive. Now? He was kind of annoying.

“We are going to remand you into the custody of Phelps County Psychiatric. They’ll do a complete evaluation within the next thirty days.”

“What? You’re kidding, right? Where’s my mom? She’ll confirm everything I’ve said. I’m not crazy.”

He couldn’t look me in the eyes. “Grace, you can’t just come in here after being missing for weeks and claim it was all a ruse because you needed to hide from demons and dark spirits. And do you remember how we found you? Half-dressed, screaming for help, and running from Gavin Vault? Then you come in here telling this story—and what a story. I owe it to a … to your father to take care of you. He’s no longer here to do it, and now that responsibility falls to me.” He tried to explain himself, but I sensed something more in his voice.

“I saw you talking to Tyler Belial. I know you set Gavin up.” My tone was way more obnoxious than it needed to be. It probably bought me a few more days at PCP.

His eyes bulged as he took two steps back. He scribbled something onto his little notepad. When he looked up, he seemed scared. I knew that he knew that there was no way I could have known about his little exchange with Tyler. I moved closer to him.

“Grace, it breaks my heart to see you like this, protecting that animal. I want to see you get the help you need, and maybe one day put this behind you. You may even be able to go to college like you planned. Don’t you think we should put this behind us?” Sergeant Mullane reached out to take my hand, then pulled it back abruptly as if I had burned him.

“I’ll never turn my back on Gavin! And as for Remi and Jenny, I just saw them two days ago. They’re bound to show up.” I walked over to the chair and sat down.

He shook his head, making no attempt to move toward me. “Remi and Jenny are right outside. They’ve been waiting to see you.” He mumbled garbled police mumbo-jumbo into his radio and left the room.

I was grateful he hadn’t noticed the shock his declaration had ignited. He had to be calling my bluff. There was no way Remi and Jenny were outside.

“Hey, sis.” A refreshed and handsome Remi greeted me as he blew into the room, taking my breath away. He was not the broken boy I’d seen last. Smiling and with open arms, he pulled me off the chair into a hug. “Now it’s my turn to take care of you,” he whispered in my ear.

“But how?” I asked in disbelief. I staggered away unintentionally, falling back against the chair.

Suddenly cold, I pulled my sweater sleeves down over my hands. Remi crouched down next to me. For a moment he looked almost like my Remi.

“There’s nothing you can do,” he summarized. “It’s done.” He stood up, and I realized what he meant.

I raised my head slightly to see Jenny enter the room. My mouth fell to the floor as I remembered Jenny was dead and I’d given her body to Emeria. The coldness in her eyes confirmed it. Emeria in Jenny’s body circled Remi, her icy smile chilling me further as she ran her hand across his back.

“My God
.
” The realization of what I had done threatened to undo me.

“I’ll get you out of here, but you have to cooperate. No more of this angel nonsense. Just do what they tell you, okay?” Remi sounded sincere; something in his tone shook me with fear. “Just tell them you’ve been distraught over Dad’s death, and they’ll call it post-traumatic stress. Tell them you made everything up. Tell them you found Gavin’s address online. You’re good at computers, so they’ll believe you. Say you managed to make it onto his property, and he tried to have his way with you. Or better yet, tell them he invited you, after the two of you talked online about the Rock-N-Writing contest. Tell them that Gavin contacted you and you went there and things got out of hand and you lost your nerve and he got mad.” Remi seemed to gain more momentum as he compounded the fabrication.

“What? Remi are you insane? Are you listening to yourself? You want me to tell them that I stalked Gavin online and he tried to rape me? Don’t you know they’re listening to every lie that comes out of your mouth?” My head began to hurt again.

“You’ll go back home with me, Jenny, and the Larsons, finish school. Everything will be okay. You’ll see,” Remi surmised, convinced, reeking like he was spiked with extra Fallen juice.