Praetorian Series [3] A Hunter and His Legion (70 page)

My mind sharpened at the name.  “What happened?”

“Don’t know!  Wang radioed.  Told us to find you.  Just go!”

I hesitated but felt my legs
already carrying me toward the trench’s inner wall.  My head was a storm of confusion as I listed toward it, trying to grope for the lip of the wall to pull myself up, but my hands slipped on the snowy bank and I stumbled to the ground.  Not a second later, a pair of strong hands gripped me under my armpits and lifted me as easily as one would pick up a kitten.  The hands deposited me on the ground above the trench and I turned and saw Bordeaux standing there, his eyes just as concerned as Santino’s.

“Go to her, Jacob,” He said.  “We’ll take care of this.  I promise.”

I struggled to my feet, stumbled, fell, but kept on trying.  Finally, I found a rhythm and got to my feet, nodding vigorously as I started to run.  My eyes only left Bordeaux’s when I was so far gone that I could barely even see him, and it was only then that he ducked away and ran to catch up with the others.  I turned forward and quickened my pace, each step a struggle and a source of pain, but I pushed and pushed, step after step, knowing that I would sprint into Death’s cold embrace to reach Helena if I had to.

***

I burst into Helena’s hospital room an unbearably long ten minutes later, pushing the flaps that barred outsiders so forcefully that I was surprised the whole tent didn’t collapsed.  But I wished it had, because it would have saved me from the sight before me, a sight that I encapsulated in one single look.

A
sight that told me I was already too late.

Helena lay motionless on her table,
her head lolled to the right and away from me.  At first glance she seemed dead, but then her chest rose just slightly and fell, and I breathed a deep sigh of relief.  But then her chest didn’t rise again, and my heart sank, but then it finally did only to fall far later than it had the first time.  It was then that I realized that while she was alive, her breathing was not normal.

My eyes were torn from her body when I noticed a slight movement beside her.  A dark shape in the form of a man stood there, and as it rotated, I realized that it was Wang.  He looked
up at me in surprise, and went still.  As he turned, I noticed his right arm moving in a circular pattern, but now it too stopped.  I glanced down and saw a scalpel in one hand and a bloody sanitation cloth in the other.

We stood there, eyes locked
for nearly a minute, when I finally found the will to fall to Helena’s side, my mind unable to register and understand all the clues within the room to deduce what had happened.  I reached out and placed a hand on her forehead, which was slick with perspiration, and carefully moved my other hand over her stomach and slowly lowered it, but I hesitated in confusion when it didn’t immediately meet resistance.  I twisted my head to look at my hovering hand, noticing that there was still a half dozen inches between it and Helena’s stomach.  Confused, I finally lowered it all the way, taking note that her stomach, while larger than before she was pregnant, didn’t seem nearly as large as it had been just hours ago.

I kn
elt there, my weak and fractured mind too tired or stupid to come to grips with the situation.  I didn’t know what to do or how to react, but then I felt a hand fall on my shoulder.  I craned my head up and saw Wang looking down at me with a frown on his face.  He looked just as speechless as I was, just as hurt, just as pained, just as saddened.

“What… what happened?”  I asked, surprised when I realized that I’d asked for no other reason than to help make him feel better.

Wang jerked his hand away and raised it to cover his mouth.  “I…” he said, muffled through his hand.  He must have realized his fault and lowered it.  “I… I’m so sorry, Jacob, but Helena’s vitals spiked.  She was experiencing intense abdominal pain and there was… blood…” he trailed off, but despite my lack of clarity, I didn’t need him to elaborate.  “I… I had to perform an emergency C-section.  It was all I could do.”

“But,” I said, my jaw quivering.  “It’s too early.  He’s still pre…”

Wang nodded and slowly reached out his hands to help me stand.  I let him, allowing him to turn me around, and saw a small bundle of cloth, alone and miniscule atop a table large enough to feast a dozen men.  I took a step forward, reaching out a hand toward it, and slowly placed it atop the bundle.

“I’m
so sorry, Jacob.”

I closed my eyes and dipped my head, surprised
that although I now knew what had happened, there were no tears and I felt no overt sadness. I barely felt anything.  Just a deep and bottomless nothing.  All I felt was empty inside.

“It’s not your fault, James,” I said, my eyes still closed, knowing such words were
just as empty as my soul.  Wang wouldn’t accept them either, but I’d felt the need to say them just so I could hang on to the last visage of my humanity.

To
his credit, he didn’t answer.  Upset and distraught at having failed his patient and friend, saddened that he’d just lost a nephew of his own, he still knew this was my time to grieve, not his.  I would have turned around and hugged him were I able to raise my hand off the bundle that contained my son, but it wouldn’t move.  It was glued there, fastened there for all eternity by an unknown force I couldn’t control… even if I wanted it to.

“Jacob…”

My name hadn’t been spoken by Wang this time, but by Helena.  I twisted my head around and saw that she’d brought herself to face the interior of the tent now instead of the wall.  Wang rushed over to her and checked her, using his few remaining machines to detect what they could and asked her a few questions in a low voice.

I knew I should go to her so that I could
offer her comfort, but I couldn’t pull away from my son.  I looked back down at him again, half tempted to open the rags and look at him, but I couldn’t bring myself to do that either.  I couldn’t bring myself to do anything.

“Jacob…”

This time my name was spoken by Wang, but still I didn’t move.  I remained, my eyes locked on my boy, still too empty to allow tears to form, let alone fall.  I felt a presence behind me and the weight of the same hand as earlier fall on my shoulder.

“
Jacob,” Wang whispered again.  “She needs you.”

I n
odded slowly and he let go.  I sensed him move away, but it wasn’t until I heard the slight rustle of the tent that I knew that he had left.  Even with him gone, I still couldn’t move.

I ground my teeth and let out a growl, willing the emptiness inside me to fill up again.  To force myself to feel something.  And that’s when I let the anger in, anger at Galba and Agrippina and Wang and Merlin
–
him
most of all for keeping me in his lair so long that it had weakened Helena.  My outstretched hand started shaking and I had to force it into a fist to keep it from tearing free from my arm.  I lifted it to my forehead despite its relentless trembling, but a deathly cough from behind me completely snapped me from my indecision, and I whirled around and finally moved to Helena’s side.

She looked at me, paler than ever, her eyes barely open.

“Is…” she started weakly, “…is he okay?”

My eyes widened.  She didn’t know?  How could Wang not have told her?

Because she’s been unconscious until just now, Hunter.  You know that.

She didn’t know.

“I…”  Should I lie?  “I… I think so, Helena.  Just rest and get better, that’s what’s important now.”

“I don’t think I can
, Jacob,” she said, her voice soft and distant, her eyes closed.  “It feels… worse this time.”

“Don’t say that, Helena.  Everything will be fine.  Just like…”

She collapsed, and seemed out cold.

“Wang!”  I yelled, and he rushed back in without hesitation.  I stepped aside and he checked her, something I knew I could have done, but wasn’t sure I
could have
actually
done because… because it was
her
.

After a second, he looked back up at me.  “She’s unconscious.  Damn, she’s a fighter.”

“Will she be all right?”

Wang stood, reaching out to grip my arm.  “I won’t lie to you, Hunter.  I don’t know.  It’s possible, but
I’m low on supplies and equipment, and I have to get out there and help the wounded.  She…”

He was cut off when Helena started convulsing behind him
, perhaps one last pain attack that would send her crashing through the gates of Hades.  He swore and turned to help her, but I stood in shock and terror at what I saw, flashbacks running through my mind of images seen five years ago.  Wang leaned over her and held her head in his hands, trying to keep her from shaking herself to death. 

He
twisted his head around and stared at me.  “Help me, Jacob!”

But instead of stepping forward, I stepped
backward.

Help me
, Wang had demanded, but there was nothing I could do. 

I wasn’t a nurse.  I wasn’t a medic.  I wasn’t a doctor.  I was just a warrior.  I wasn’t a shaman or
a cleric or a druid.  I was an operator.  I wasn’t a magician.  I was a killer.  I wasn’t a wizard.  I was…

I wasn’t a wizard.

But I knew a wizard!

I turned and sprinted from the tent, Wang yelling after me.  Adrenaline surged through me, puls
ating its rejuvenating elixir through my veins so steadily but forcibly that Bordeaux couldn’t have stopped me right now.  I leapt through the tent and looked around frantically, finding exactly what I was looking for almost immediately.

A pair of legionnaires that looked familiar were running past me to enter the battle.

“Hold!”  I shouted, and the pair stopped to look at me, confused.

“Legate?”

They remembered me.

I pointed at one
, thoughts that I could barely understand wheeling through my mind at an uncontrollable pace.  “Find Minicius and bring him here.  Tell him to wait until I return.”  I pointed at the other.  “Take me to my horse.”

“Legate?”  They both asked again in unison.

“
Now!
”  I shouted, and they finally reacted. 

They split up
as they ran and I stumbled after one toward our stables.  It was a short run and I picked Felix out of a crowd of maybe fifty instantaneously.  I ran to his side and he bucked and reared back on his legs at the sight of me, as though he knew what had befallen Helena and that he was the only one who could help.

“It’s good to see you too, my friend,” I said,
as he immediately calmed down and seemed to lower himself so that I could more easily mount him.  I patted his mane quickly, finally almost ready to cry as the situation unraveled around me, but I placed a foot against the wooden railing that kept the horses penned, and pushed off it awkwardly to land atop Felix.

I didn’t even need to kick his sides before he took off running, leaping the high railing and straight
toward the nearest exit.  The gates parted as we approached and Felix took off, not a care in the world or a thought toward the encasing trench system or the attackers beyond it.  Felix seemed to know exactly where I wanted him to go, and I clung to him, somehow knowing he would stop at nothing to get me there.

***

Twenty minutes later, Felix galloped right into the clearing where Merlin’s cottage once resided.  Only an empty field now, the lingering mist from before was still evident even in the early morning darkness.  I pulled back on Felix’s reins and he planted his forelegs into the ground and skidded to a stop.  I leapt from his back and ran to the very center of the clearing where nothing existed besides snow, the mist, and a log.

I spun
in circles, searching, trying to bring myself back to Merlin and wherever he had taken me before.

“Where are you, Merlin??”  I shouted with my arms wide.  “I know you ca
n hear me! I know you know what’s happened!  So show yourself!”

I continued to t
wirl, feeling myself grow dizzy, the adrenaline threatening to overload my body.  It was surging so frantically within me that I knew I was running the risk of a stroke or a heart attack or something, but I didn’t care.

I needed Merlin and I needed him now.

“Help me, Merlin!  You told me all of this is your fault, not mine!  You caused all of this, not me!  You knew how long you were keeping me from her, and you know you’re responsible for the death of my son!!  You said we could be happy!  That we could have children!  Well you were fucking wrong, Merlin!  And now it’s time to starting owning up to some of that responsibility!”

I pleaded into the wind and trees around me, hearing nothing in return but their near silent wheeze and rustle.  No answer came.  No apparition revealed itself.  No help arrived.

I threw my fists in the air.

“Fuck you, Merlin!  Why help me at all if you won’t help me now??  Do you think I’ll do right by you when I find the orbs now??  Do you??”