Prank Wars (9 page)

My mouth dropped. “Excuse me?” He glanced back at me as if he were shocked that I had eavesdropped on his conversation. “I…,” but I wasn’t sure how to respond. “I do too.” My cheeks flamed at Byron’s sudden laugh. Great. Now I was vain.

Carrie tired of watching us and started pawing through the toys. She threw them through the air like they were fireworks on the Fourth of July. We were both supposed to keep an eye on her, but I felt Byron’s eyes on me instead. I finally turned to him and wished I hadn’t. He had a serious expression on his face. “Then why don’t you work it?” He tilted his head at me. “Does it hurt to feel, Mad? C’mon, you can tell me. What happened to you?”

How dare he throw this psychological warfare at me? “What happened to
you
!” I sputtered back.

“I asked first. Who left you at the altar?”

I went rigid. He thought he was being sarcastic, but he hit it dead on. Next month was the date Cameron and I had set for the temple, June 6th to be exact—in two weeks. “No one you need be concerned with.” I was proud of how smooth I sounded.

“Fine, nothing happened to you, but hypothetically speaking, let’s say it did? Let’s discuss this bubble you have.” He made this huge sweeping motion about two feet in front of me. Byron was obsessed with my personal space.

“I’d rather not.”

“Okay, we’ll just test it.” Byron stepped into my bubble. I steeled myself, but forced myself to stay put. I wasn’t about to let Byron prove his point. He tapped my arm experimentally like he was some kind of doctor testing my reflexes. “So?” he asked.

“Pretty annoying, but you’re not popping my bubble or anyth—” He tapped me on the top of my head, and I laughed. I tried to stop it by wrinkling my nose. This was ridiculous. “Nope. My bubble isn’t as bad as you think.”

His eyes took on a mischievous glint and he glanced over at Carrie. “Hey Carrie, watch this. I have the force.” Byron licked his hand and brought it towards my face.

I scrambled backwards without him having to touch me. “Not cute and not funny,” I shouted out.

“What? I wasn’t going to do anything. Where’s your trust? Do you really hate men that much?”

“What gave you that impression? I just hate
you
.” It came out before I could stop it. And of course he leaned closer to me, flashing an infectious grin. I wondered how many women it worked on.

“You aren’t hurting me, you know. You’re only hurting the Beta Unit.”

I snickered. “You are such a nerd and you are so dead. Your place is so dead.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

I glanced over at Carrie. “Would anyone like to volunteer their neighbor to pray? Maybe they can ask for forgiveness—perhaps some protection. They’re going to need it when someone trashes their place this week.”

Byron had that devilish look. He opened his mouth, but the door opened, saving us all. Carrie brightened when she saw her mother. I brightened too. Her mother had curly blonde hair and a maternal way about her. She held her arms open and Carrie ran into the pink cashmere depths. I stopped myself from following Carrie’s example. Where was
my
mother when I needed her? “How was she?” the bishop’s wife asked.

“She was really—” Byron stopped, looking at something behind her head.

“—good,” I finished without thinking. I avoided Byron’s eyes.

Carrie’s mom began gathering her things. “Did you have fun, Carrie?” She clucked over her, smoothing down the little girl’s hair. “I’m so glad you have such great teachers. I bet you just love them, don’t you?”

At her mother’s bidding, Carrie waved goodbye. We both waved back like we were the happiest, most untroubled couple in the world. “You know why you finish my sentences?” Byron asked me under his breath.

I tried to ignore him. I really didn’t know myself, so how was I supposed to give a satisfactory answer? The door shut behind the mother and daughter and they left us alone together. Byron was still looking at me. I looked everywhere but at him. Finally, I took a deep breath. “Why?” What’s your amazing theory?”

“Because maybe,” Byron paused for dramatic effect, “we know each other so well that we’re actually friends.”

I turned slowly to him, shocked. A dimple showed briefly in his cheek before he gathered his pinstriped jacket and walked out of the room.

Day 104

1604 hours

“
In case you read this, all’s fair in love and war. The only way to fight fire with fire is to play with fire. It would be the perfect ending to this thing.”

—Madeleine’s War Journal Entry (Sunday, May 27th).

What was Byron thinking anyway, throwing words like friendship at me? He took playing dirty to a new level. After leaving the nursery room without so much as a backwards glance, I shoved my way through the hordes of student churchgoers. The 73
^rd
ward went to church in the testing center. Many had done it before me and many would after me. It was the least of my concerns. No, I was trying to escape before I saw
him.
And this time, I’m not talking Lord Byron.

The crowd parted just in time to see
him
flirting up a storm with no other than AmyLee, and of course Erika and Johanna and Mickaela. Even Kali! Before I could bolt, I hesitated. My little roommate threw back her blonde hair in a joyous belly laugh.

Everything
he
said was absolutely hilarious…uh,
he
being my ex-fiancé. Cameron even looked hilarious in a mint colored shirt. And yes, I am just being mean, but he started it. What made Cameron think it would be a great idea to move into my ward after the break-up? We had the cheapest housing in Provo, but who does that? It only proved he was a lowdown and mean.

Kali hit Cameron, and he playfully hit her back. Then she hit him, and then he hit her. Her peasant skirt fluttered sassily. I sighed, excusing her. There is an unwritten rule for roommates not to flirt with their roommate’s significant ex, especially when that roommate was in the same room, but Kali was too in denial to know it referred to her. She wasn’t flirting, she was being his
friend
.

Cameron, on the other hand, was an entirely different story. He knew exactly what he was doing to me. His eyes slanted my direction then quickly darted away when he noted I was in the room. His flirtatious teasing got louder. Ever since he broke up with me, he had been adding new girls to his Facebook daily. And these were the kinds that put glamor shots on their profiles. AmyLee tugged Cameron forward by his burnt-orange fat tie, chattering like a chipmunk.

I turned on the heel of my boots, trying to escape—and got caught by President Wilkes. He always tried to make sure I knew how wonderful I was. Probably because he saw how successful Cameron was at the flirting game and how unsuccessful I was. He grabbed my hand to shake it. “How is my favorite girl? You are so great. Do you know that?” Yes, yes, I had heard it already, but I knew the truth and just wanted to escape the room. I nodded, so he wouldn’t know I was falling apart. Kali twisted the big turquoise ring on her hand while she listened intently to Cameron. I tried to block them out, but when I couldn’t see him, he just made himself louder. So did the girls around him.

I thought I had been a good girlfriend. In fact, I had been nicer than I had ever been in my entire life. Talk about exhausting. And this is how the guy repaid me? He was through with me, so be through with me already. The glass doors were so close, within spitting distance, but I was stuck here by my hand. The stake president shook it meaningfully, peering into my eyes. I hoped he wouldn’t find anything too disturbing there. “It’s so nice to see you. You seem to be holding up well.”

Yes, after the incident.
I grimaced. President Wilkes had my back, which normally I could appreciate if I hadn’t been stuck in the middle of this flirt fest. If Tory were around, she would create a diversion to help me slip by unnoticed, but I didn’t see her agitated red head anywhere. I caught a glimpse of Lizzie. She had kicked off her Mary-Janes and was dutifully cleaning up after the Relief Society in the side room.

“Now I suppose you heard about our program to help you kids start meeting new people?” President Wilkes asked.

I nodded. “Yeah, boyfriend for a week. Sounds a little…uh…interesting.”

“Now, don’t worry. It’s nothing too serious. We just want the guys to take the girls out, show the girls around town, be gentlemen. And if the girls could show them that they’re not…all that scary,” he laughed, “we could establish some good dating habits in this stake. I would really appreciate your support in this.”

I gulped. If I asked, ‘in what way,’ I’d be signed up for boyfriend-for-a-week before we could unclasp hands. If I just nodded and said, ‘Yes, of course,’ which was my plan then he’d never know
exactly
how I planned to support this and I’d be home free. “Yes, of course,” I said.

President Wilkes let me go. He patted me on the back for good measure. “I sure do appreciate you. Whether you know it or not, you’re a leader in this ward. The others really look up to you. You’re a good example.”

“Thanks.” I turned, feeling a little guilty, and resolved to sign up for the next service project…just not this one. Judging by the sounds of laughter, Cameron was to my left. I took the safest route to the door through the crowd of guys who didn’t know I existed, past the chattering girls. I waved goodbye to Lizzie who didn’t see me and stopped short, not believing who stood in front of the door. Nope. Eric. The beautiful blond from the night before.

I was in a lot of guys’ black books lately, but I had
really
made a fool of myself in front of this one. How did I not notice Eric was in my ward? He was beautiful. He wore a sweater vest, looking like a hot Mr. Rogers. He seemed taller than last night, but that was probably because that leering scary Dune guy wasn’t around. A quick sweeping glance assured me Dune guy wasn’t in our ward too.

I tried to retreat, but too late, Eric saw me. I changed directions almost like a dance, heading for him again so he wouldn’t guess I was a baby. Eric’s face took on a wary expression. I hadn’t been the sanest person last night. Braving a smile, I tried to scrape past him through the door. “Hey Eric.” I was proud of how casual I sounded. “Uh, sorry about accusing you of stealing.” He didn’t answer back and I met his eyes. “It’s just that it wouldn’t be the first time that…our uh friend, Byron sent others to do his dirty work. One time these girls told us they saw something creepy outside.” Now I knew I was babbling. “They were just trying to get us to leave our apartment, so—”

“Wait.” He was smiling faintly. “So you’re saying that these girls like this Byron jerk, so they help him flirt with you?”

My forehead wrinkled at Eric. Fascinating. He was actually very perceptive. Sort of. “Um, no.
He’s
not flirting,” I corrected. No, that was the one thing I liked about Byron. We understood each other. I stepped outside into the overcast world, and Eric followed me. “I’m not flirting either,” I said. “You can catch a man that way, you know.”

Eric surprised me by laughing. “You look so dark and mysterious, and then you open your mouth and it’s gone.”

Was that an insult or…? I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, since I accused him of being a spy last night. “Thank you.”

His eyes danced. “No, it’s just that you’re very unexpected.” I frowned and he grabbed my arm reassuringly. His warmth sent happy shivers through me. “Actually, I think you’re perfect. It’s like watching a movie.”

I wasn’t sure how to take that, but I felt I owed him a second chance, a million chances actually, since I had misjudged him—or maybe because I felt some strange attraction to him. It meant I should probably end this conversation before I looked even stupider. “Well, until the next exciting adventure.” I pulled away and bounded down the stairs.

“When will that be?”

“You never know.” I realized I was moon walking in my attempt not to look like I was running away. “The craziest things happen around here.”

He smiled, a real nice guy smile, and it threw me off. “I’ll remember that the next time I visit.”

“Sandra would like that,” I shouted out to him. It was important to put some distance between us. Naming the competition always did that. His eyes didn’t leave mine, and I twisted away to break the contact.

“What about you?” he asked suddenly.

My mouth flopped open. Treat a guy like he had the plague and…and...was he actually being nice to me? The glass door next to Eric opened and Cameron piled through with a few women on each arm. No exaggeration. Cameron sidestepped me like I was a pebble on the ground, not even dignifying my presence with a nod. I couldn’t help but see the difference. Treat a guy like an all-star and he kicked you to the gutter.

Eric followed my gaze to Cameron. Maybe he
was
a spy. He was certainly observant. Eric’s mouth curled up as if guessing my dilemma. If I left him now, I would be trailing Cameron down the hill. I took a step towards Eric, not sure if it was the right decision.

Tory came out of nowhere, a bright spot in a colorful retro dress. “I thought I’d never catch you.” She pushed the threatening letter into my hand from the night before. Her face was flushed from running. “No luck, Captain. I did a thorough handwriting analysis. I checked every guy’s signature in the ward. No one matched up.”