Prayers and Lies (11 page)

She fell silent for a moment, her eyes staring at nothing. I reached over to hold her hand. “What did Bobby Lee say?” I asked.

“He kept trying to ease her, telling her it was all right, that they’d make another baby. And then, finally, she did quiet down. But then Daddy asked her where Caleb had gone to, and she started hollerin’ again. Said she didn’t rightly care where he’d gone to, that probably he’d gone back to hell where he came from. And then Daddy started getting mad at her. You know, Daddy and Caleb get along real good ’cause they’re brothers. And Daddy said she’d better stop talking like that. He said she sounded crazy. And she did, Bethany,” she said, turning to stare at me. “She sounded flat-out crazy.”

She fell silent again, chewing the bits of fingernail left on her fingers.

“So that’s when Bobby went to look for Caleb?” I asked.

“Not that day. He got Mama quiet again and then he made us some soup. And I went to bed that night and I thought it would be all right. But then in the morning he went and talked to Granpa. I don’t know what Granpa told him, but Daddy came back looking mad. I ain’t never seen him look like that, Bethany. I seen Mama mad before lots, but not Daddy.

“He looked like someone else, not like Daddy at all. He came in and slammed the door and told me to go on outside. So I came out here and sat with Bo. But I could hear him yelling at her. He said she was the wicked one, that she never gave Caleb a chance in hell. He said if she hadn’t been so mean to Caleb, she wouldn’t be in this mess. And then Mama started screaming again that it was Caleb that was wicked. And they both screamed at each other so much, even Bo was scared.

“Then he hit her. He smacked her real hard. I heard it. And she stopped screaming. He told her he was gonna go find his little brother and bring him home. Mama said if Caleb came back, she wouldn’t stay here. And he said she could leave, then.”

I was still holding Reana Mae’s hand. Her face was sickly white, her dirty hair limp. She looked much older than nine—like she’d lived a whole lifetime since Thanksgiving.

“He left that very morning,” she continued softly. “That was almost a week ago, right after I wrote to you, and he ain’t come home yet.” She sighed. “Mama don’t get out of bed at all, and she won’t let nobody come in to help us. And I don’t know when Daddy will get back, or if he’ll find Caleb. And I don’t know what Mama will do if he brings Caleb back.”

I sat awkwardly holding her hand. I couldn’t think of a thing to say.

She leaned against me heavily. “I’m glad you’re here, Bethany. I been praying every night that you and Aunt Helen would come. Mama will listen to her. I know she will. Aunt Helen will make it all right.”

I nodded, putting my arm around her thin shoulders. But I wondered how Mother could ever make things all right for Jolene and Bobby Lee.

Mother opened the door then. She stepped out onto the porch and began shaking a rug over the rail. “You two will freeze sitting out here. Come inside now, there’s work to be done.”

“Yes, ma’am,” we said in unison.

The room looked brighter already. Mother had started a fire in the woodstove, opened all the curtains, and turned on the little radio in the kitchen. I could hear the washing machine chugging away on the back porch. The curtain was still drawn closed across the doorway to Jolene’s room, and the blue plastic still flapped above the gaping hole in the corner of the roof, but the cabin felt more alive than before.

I dusted, Reana Mae swept, and Mother washed the dishes that were stacked all around the kitchen, while Bo scratched and scratched at the front door. When we’d finished cleaning, Mother made a list, gave us a five-dollar bill, and sent us up the road to Ray’s store. “You can each have a dime to get a treat,” she said as we left.

Reana Mae fairly danced down the stairs. “You see?” she said, grinning. “I told you Aunt Helen would make it all right.”

I nodded again, hoping she was right.

Mother fried pork chops and potatoes and baked corn bread in Jolene’s tiny kitchen. She carried a tray to Jolene, then joined Reana Mae and me at the table. Reana ate like a half-starved orphan—two pork chops, two helpings of potatoes with ketchup, and three pieces of corn bread with syrup. “Thank you, Aunt Helen,” she said when she was finally full. “We been living on cereal and tomato soup.”

“Well, I know your mama appreciates all the hard work you’ve been doing since her accident, Reana Mae,” Mother said as she carried dishes to the sink. “Tomorrow, it’s back to school for you.”

I looked up forlornly. “What’ll I do while Reana’s in school?”

“You can help me with chores, Bethy. There’s a lot to be done.”

Reana and I washed dishes while Mother folded and put away laundry. Then we sat down to watch the news on the little black-and-white television Ray and Loreen had given Jolene for Christmas. At the first commercial break, we looked up to see Jolene standing in the doorway. I started in surprise. She didn’t look like herself at all. I recognized her short pink robe, but her face looked years older than it had at Thanksgiving. Her skin was blotchy, and dark bags hung beneath her puffy eyes. Her beautiful red hair hung in limp, dirty ringlets. She leaned heavily against the door frame.

Reana Mae jumped up and ran to support her as Mother rose, saying, “Jolene, honey, I’m so glad you’re up. Here, sit on the couch and I’ll get you some tea.”

Jolene smiled wanly at Mother as she draped her arm over Reana Mae’s shoulders. She walked slowly to the couch, then sank down beside where I sat. “Hey, Bethany,” she said to me. “How you doing?” She leaned over and kissed my cheek.

“Fine, Jolene. I’m just fine.”

She patted my cheek, but her eyes were on the television. “What’re they saying today?” she asked Mother, who returned from the kitchen with a mug of steaming water, a tea bag dangling down its side.

“More war news, I’m sorry to say,” Mother replied.

“I still can’t understand what it’s all about,” Jolene said, “but I’m surely glad Bobby Lee ain’t over there.”

We sat silently until the news was done. Then Jolene returned to bed, leaning on Reana Mae again. Soon after, Mother and I walked back to Aunt Belle’s.

“What’s wrong with her, Mama?” I asked. “Is she gonna be okay?”

“Yes, honey, she’ll be okay.”

“She looks so sickly.”

“Well, Jolene’s had a big loss, and she took a mighty hard fall, too. I think her body has mostly recovered, but her spirit hasn’t. That’s going to take a while. She’ll be all right once Bobby Lee comes home.”

I stared down at the road. “Reana Mae said they fought about Caleb before he left.”

“Yes, Jolene told me. But I’m sure that will pass, too.” She paused a moment, then squeezed my hand. “People say all kinds of things they don’t mean when they’re grieving, Bethy. Bobby Lee and Jolene are both grieving hard. But they need each other to get past the grieving. Once they realize that, they’ll be okay.”

By that time, we were at Aunt Belle’s front steps. “You just be an extra-good friend to Reana Mae, okay? She really needs a friend right now.”

I nodded, and we went inside to a barrage of questions and solicitude from Belle.

I lay awake that night watching clouds drift across the night sky, now hiding the moon, now sweeping away. The river below was as black as the coal it hid. When the clouds cleared, the river seemed to come alive—shiny black currents sweeping southward in a never-ending, always-changing pattern. Then the moon would disappear and the water’s surface became matte black again, the patterns disappearing in the night. It was mesmerizing and a little scary. I’d never slept alone in the attic room before. The shadows seemed longer and darker than I remembered. The light from the hallway far below barely edged into the corner of the room by the stairway.

I stared longingly at the empty bed—the despised road-facing window bed—its neatly made covers hanging down, concealing … what? Had the rocker moved? I rubbed my eyes, staring into the darkness. Wind creaked in the eaves. I was afraid to move, afraid to call out for Mother. Was that a thump on the roof?

I crept from the bed and padded down the curved stairway, toward light and Mother and safety. I ran down the long hallway, and then down the steps toward the entry hall. I stopped on the landing, hearing Mother and Aunt Belle in the front room. Would they be upset with me for getting out of bed? I hesitated on the landing, listening.

“But why would Ray tell Bobby Lee something like that?” I heard Mother ask.

“Because it’s true,” Belle said. “It’s true, and Bobby had a right to know.”

“Oh, Belle, not really,” Mother protested. “Jolene wouldn’t do something like that.”

Belle laughed. “Helen, you never will get used to other folks’ wicked ways.”

“But why would she? Why would Jolene … take an interest in her husband’s brother? And while she’s pregnant! No, Belle, I just cannot believe that.”

“Well,” Belle said, “I figure it’s like this. Now Jolene, she never had much going for her except her looks. No, I’m not attacking her, Helen, just stating God’s plain truth. Jolene hooked Bobby Lee because she was sexy—everyone knows that. That’s how she’s gotten everything—it’s the only way she knows how to get anything. And now Bobby’s gone most all the time, and folks are whispering he’s got a fancy girl up in St. Albans, so she gets herself pregnant, thinking she’ll keep him home with a son.”

“Oh, Belle, don’t say that. She’s lost the baby. At least give her credit for wanting it.”

“Oh, she wanted it. Because it was a boy, that’s why. Look here, Helen. I know what it’s like to lose a baby. I been there. But Jolene just ain’t the mothering kind, you know that as well as I do. Hell, look at how she treats the child she’s already got. She treats Reana Mae like hired help—and you know that’s the truth.”

“But still …”

“Still nothing. She wanted a boy to keep hold of Bobby, because she’s getting older now. Not ancient, like us, of course.” She laughed. “But not eighteen no more, either. The bloom is off that rose, Helen, and we all know it, and so does she.”

I listened, transfixed at this bit of adult lore.

“So now here she’s pregnant, and Bobby Lee’s still gone, and folks are still whispering, and she’s getting fat—not just a little pouch like she got herself with Reana Mae. I mean she’s getting
fat
. So she has to prove to herself she’s still got it, you know? And who is there around here to prove it with but the boy? And Lord knows, Caleb’s all boy. And he used to have it mighty bad for Jolene, back when he was a little one.”

“But, Belle, what did she … I mean, how …?” Mother’s voice trailed away. I could feel her embarrassment wafting up the stairwell.

“You’re blushing now, Helen, but you’d have died to see how she carried on. The fatter she got, the shorter her dresses got. She took to wearing halter tops and shorts around the house, even when it was freezing outside. And she’d lean herself over in front of the boy when he was sitting at the table—you could see everything she had then. She was always touching him or brushing up against him. It was purely revolting.”

“What did he do?” Mother whispered.

“Caleb?” Belle laughed again. “Lord, Helen, he was so embarrassed he like to died. He ignored her mostly. Then later, he got snappish with her. Started making little digs at her, about how fat she was. I heard him one time tell her she looked like a trailer park queen—only he said trailer pork queen. And then he laughed.”

“Poor Jolene,” Mother said.

“Well, now, I don’t rightly know about ‘poor Jolene.’ She has reaped what she has sowed, Helen, flaunting herself in front of a sixteen-year-old boy … her husband’s own brother, at that.”

“I know it’s shameful, Arabella. But think how awful it must be for her.”

“Think how awful it was for poor Caleb, once she caught on he wasn’t interested. She tore into that boy like a hound on a rabbit. Everywhere he went, she dogged him. Everything he did, she was after him for it. I seen her take a switch and whip that boy’s back till it bled, just because he left the screen door open. It wasn’t right, Helen. She was acting like she had that bad blood.”

There was a pause. I could hear a spoon stirring in a teacup. What, I wondered, was bad blood? Before I could think much about it, Belle was talking again.

“That last day, when Ida Louise came to the house looking for him, she said Jolene was in a devil’s fury. She grabbed a cane and lit out down them steps to beat the tar out of him, and she wasn’t paying attention to where she was stepping, and she fell. I heard her screaming all the way up here, and I ran down to see what hap-pened—everyone on the road was running. I got to the top of them steps and seen her lying at the bottom. Ida was trying to help her up, but she wouldn’t get up. She was screaming like a banshee, swinging that cane at Caleb. He kept trying to help her, and she just kept swinging at him, screaming that he was the devil hisself. It was awful, Helen, just awful.

“Then, when we finally got her up to the house and she was bleeding and we knew she was going to lose the baby, she made Loreen bring her Bobby Lee’s shotgun. And don’t you know that girl got herself up out of her bed and dragged herself onto the porch, where Caleb was sitting. That poor boy was crying, and trying real hard not to show it. And Jolene pointed that gun straight at his head and told him to clear off—that it was his fault she was losing the baby, and if he ever showed his face at her door again, she’d blow his head off. I’m telling you, Helen, it was like she was crazy.”

“Dear Lord,” Mother whispered. “What will she do now?”

“If she’s got the sense the good Lord gave a coonhound, she’ll tuck her tail between her legs and beg Bobby Lee’s forgiveness when he comes back.
If
he comes back.”

“Do you suppose he’ll find Caleb?”

“I don’t know, Helen. I just don’t know.”

I crept back up the stairs then, to think things over. But I didn’t go back to the attic room. Instead, I climbed into Mother’s bed, grateful for the pool of light from the hallway. When she came in a little while later, I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep.

Mother changed into her nightgown and kneeled beside the big bed for a long time, saying her evening prayers. I squeezed my eyes tight and prayed, too. I prayed hard for Reana Mae and for the baby that was dead and gone away to Heaven. I prayed for Jolene and for Bobby Lee. I even prayed for Caleb.