Precious Embrace (Embrace Series) (19 page)

Chapter Twenty-Six

Ali started unpacking her things into the empty dresser drawers, placing Micah’s things into the top. She unfolded his sleeper—her favorite—and brought it to her nose, smiling. She was one lucky mother. How many mothers had been through what she’d been through and never seen their child again. She closed her eyes and suppressed a shudder.

When she opened her eyes, Johnny was standing in the doorway, watching her. She grinned, but when he didn’t return it. The smiled slipped from her face. She turned to place the folded sleeper in the drawer. “I wish you would stop brooding and just be happy he’s home.”

“Oh, I am very happy he’s home, and I’m ecstatic that we’re all here together and that y’all are safe.”

“You’re clamming up. Just tell me if you’re mad. Talk to me.”

“No…” He ran his fingers through his hair, closing his eyes. “No, I’m not clamming up. You’re the one with the secret. You should be the one talking.”

Ali threw her hands in the air and said, “I’m not keeping any secrets. I just don’t want to fight with you while we have an audience.”

“Why are you assuming we’re going to fight? Am I always that unreasonable?”

She glanced up at him through lowered lashes. “Carl wants to set up some visitation with Micah.”

“What?” He violently shook his head. “Hell no—absolutely not!”

“I have to consider it.”

He leaned forward and got right in her face. “No, you don’t!”

“He doesn’t want to take him anywhere, but he wants a few hours a week—supervised.”

“He’s fucking playing you like a piano, don’t you see that? He’s doing it to get close to you, not Micah.”

“No, that’s pointless. He knows I would never take him back.”

“You’re getting closer everyday aren’t you?”

She stepped back. “No! Don’t be ridiculous!”

“If you’re willing to let the scumbag around Micah then it’s true. You are getting closer to forgiving him every day.”

“Johnny, that’s not true. Don’t be like that.” She stepped closer to him, reaching out for him, wanting to feel his hands on her body. She didn’t like the distance growing between them. “You have no reason to be jealous. I don’t want Carl. I want to be with you.”

He glared at her. “Don’t change the subject.”

“I’m not. That’s what you said, Carl wants me not Micah. “Is this about you and me—or you and Micah?”

He gripped the belt loops of her jeans and pulled her to him. “Both, damn it! You, Micah and Jamie are a package deal. I know that, Ali.”

She lowered her eyes to his chest and said, “Carl threatened to file for joint custody if I don’t let him see Micah. He doesn’t want me, its Micah he cares about.”

Johnny gritted his teeth. “That doesn’t make me feel better! I don’t want him near the kids any more than I want him near you.”

“He won’t hurt Micah.”

Johnny tugged the belt loops harder. “Woman, are you blind? Don’t you see what he did?”

“Johnny, you can’t seriously believe Carl is the mastermind behind Micah’s kidnapping.”

“I have no doubt in my mind. Just like I have no doubt he is trying to use Micah to get close to you again.”

“You must really think I’m stupid and so easily manipulated.” She pushed on his chest to get out of his grip. “What—you associate blonde hair with stupid?”

He scoffed. “Of course not, don’t say that.”

“Then trust me a little. Have some faith in me. I know it’s a reach, but if you want this to work you’re going to have to be a little more flexible.”

His eyes grew dark and haunted. “Don’t threaten me, Ali. You know I have faith in you.”

A disappointing ache surged through her. She closed her eyes and turned away from him, unable to pretend she didn’t know what he was thinking. 

“Ali…do you believe me when I say that?”

She shook her head, unable to turn back to look at him. “No, Johnny. I don’t. Actions speak louder than words.”

He laid a hand on her shoulder and leaned against her, kissing the top of her head. “I’m sorry you don’t believe me…” He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and rested his cheek on her head. “What can I do?”

“Stop this and stop brooding. I want to be happy now with Micah back, but you’re making it seriously hard with your crappy attitude.” Ali turned in his arms and said, “Don’t let Carl ruin this for us. He’s not worth it.”

“It scares me that I don’t know what he is capable of…and it scares me even more to think about losing you.”

“You won’t lose me.” She brushed a tender kiss on his lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He was interrupted by a cry from the portable crib. Johnny let her go and they both walked over to look down at Micah.

“Hi, sweetpea.” She leaned down to pick him up.

Johnny rubbed his head. “Sorry, little man, I didn’t mean to wake you up.” 

Ali bounced him, trying to sooth him. “It’s time for him to get up anyway.” Micah stretched the sleep from his body, his little fist gripping Johnny’s index finger.

Johnny rubbed his thumb over the soft little knuckles and said, “It drives me crazy not knowing where he was for all those days.”

“I wish more than anything he could tell me. I hate to think of him alone and scared.”

“He’s hardly cried since he’s been home.”

“That’s because of you.” Ali smiled. “He’s always happy around you.”

Johnny watched him with a wistful expression and said, “…I wish…”

She placed a finger on his chin and turned him to her. “What do you wish for?”

Johnny didn’t say anything for a moment then he smiled at her. “Nothing, I don’t wish for anything. Everything I want is right here.”

On Thursday, Ali and Sarah were sitting in the kitchen when Mark came in from picking Jamie up from school. “Good News.” He smiled wide. “The camera crews are gone from in front of your house.

“Do you think it’s safe for me to go home tonight?” Ali asked him.

“Maybe tomorrow, it wouldn’t hurt to wait one more day.”

“We shouldn’t rush it,” Sarah said. “I wouldn’t want for them to get home just to be surrounded by the press again.”

“They’ve shifted to harassing the police about the case more than harassing Ali. Brian has asked them repeatedly to stop bothering the family. Maybe they finally got the hint.”

“Have they given you any significant updates on the case?” Ali asked.

“No, they haven’t shared anything new with me.” He frowned and said, “When do you go back to work?”

“I start at the District Attorney’s office on June first.”

“The DA’s office, I thought you worked in San Francisco?” Sarah said.

“Jeffery Kaiser offered me a job in his office. I jumped at the chance to work in town. I hate commuting.”

“What are you going to do about childcare?” Mark asked.

“Hire a nanny…” Ali’s heart accelerated at the thought. “I hate the idea of leaving Micah.”

“Maybe you need a little more security.”

“Why? Do you have any agent-slash-nannies for hire?” Ali snorted out a laugh. “Think Shane wants to change diapers and guard my infant son?”

Mark frowned. He could never take a joke when it came to safety, she knew that, but she snickered again anyway.

“I thought maybe a security agent and a nanny.”

“I’m going to have a hard enough time affording a nanny, much less paying for both.”

“Why can’t you afford a nanny? You make plenty of money.”

“I did—until I went out on maternity leave early knowing my wonderful husband could support me, and then I took several extras months off after Micah’s birth to deal with my divorce.” She rolled her eyes. “I don’t have Carl helping with the mortgage anymore and I won’t receive another paycheck until I go back to work…and the DA’s office doesn’t pay what I was making at a private firm.”

“Do you need help?” Mark asked.

“No, I can manage. I just won’t have much of a savings by the time I go back to work. Carl is paying child support, but that will only cover the nanny.”

“Why don’t you put the house on the market…look for something a little smaller? Prices are good right now. I can’t imagine you want to stay there now.” Mark said.

Ali felt a pang in her chest thinking about leaving Mark in their huge house alone after their divorce. He understood perfectly because he went through the same thing when she left him. She looked away from him so he wouldn’t see the guilt in her eyes.

“Having your house pictured on the news for two weeks has to have diminished your security. Everyone in town knows you’re a single mother living alone.”

She looked at him quickly. “I didn’t consider that. Do you think I should worry?”

“Not with Johnny around,” Sarah said.

“Johnny won’t always be around…he doesn’t live with me.”

“Maybe he should,” Mark said.

“I’m not moving Johnny in for security reasons.”

“Sorry.” He held up his hands. “Maybe I misunderstood the relationship. I thought you two were serious.”

“I’m trying to take things slow. I don’t want to rush into anything again.”

“You can’t compare Johnny with Carl,” Sarah said. “Johnny is a better man, and he’ll be a better father to Micah and a better…everything.”

“I agree. This isn’t a reflection on him at all, Sarah. I just keep going from one to another to another…I love Johnny, but I don’t want to make any mistakes.”

“What if while trying to avoid mistakes you’re actually making the biggest one by holding him back?” Mark said.

“Either way, I can’t rush into a deep involvement with Johnny. If he can’t give me a few months to get myself together then he doesn’t really want this.” Ali closed her eyes for a minute to take a ragged breath. “Just because you two found each other and came together in such a short time doesn’t mean it will work for me.” She gestured between the two do them. “This doesn’t just happen—especially not to me.”

“Wow! —Sounds familiar.” Sarah chuckled and looked at Mark.

“Ouch.” Mark rubbed a hand over his chest. “That brought back some awful memories.”

Ali stared at them a moment then said, “What?”

“That’s almost word for word what Sarah told me when we were ‘not getting together’.” His smile faded slightly. “Don’t be fooled, Ali, this wasn’t easy. We had to fight every day for it.”

Sarah smiled. “Nothing worth fighting for is ever easy.”

“I don’t believe you.” She shook her head, no way. They were so compatible. Ali couldn’t have found a better partner for Mark if she’d picked one out of a catalog. “You both make it look easy.”

“—not easy,” Mark said.

“Everyone has dark shadows they run from. You’re no different, Ali, and neither is Johnny,” Sarah said giving her a significant look.

“Just be careful, Ali. Johnny is a good man who doesn’t deserve to be hurt. Think things through before you do something stupid,” Mark said.

“That’s exactly what I’m trying to do.”

“In the meantime, consider moving. I don’t recommend staying there. It’ll forever be a reminder of what you’ve been through and you’ll always be a target to the press. Anytime there’s another Amber Alert they’ll bring up this story again and come knocking on your door.”

“You know, Ali, I’m not going back to work. Maybe I can keep Micah for you,” Sarah offered.

“Or maybe I can cover the cost of the agent…you only need it until the kidnapers have been caught.”

“I appreciate the offer—both offers,” she said looking from Sarah to Mark, “but you’ve already done enough.”

“Stop it, Ali. You’ll make me mad and that’ll raise my blood pressure then Mark will yell at me, and it’ll start this big fight and my blood pressure will go higher and endanger my baby and—”

“Okay.” Ali laughed. “I don’t need to worry about this until June first. Maybe they’ll have these people caught before I go back to work.”

“Let’s hope,” Mark said as Johnny stepped into the room.

“Hey, y’all, what’s doin’?”

“I get to go home tomorrow. The camera crews are gone.”

“Happy days.” Johnny said, clapping his hands together. “Mark and Sarah can have their house back.”

“Stop it, Johnny. We don’t mind having y’all here.”

Sarah’s eyes shot up when Ali and Mark started laughing.

She frowned. “What’s the joke?”

“Nothing, baby,” Mark said, fighting a grin. “We’re just admiring your accent.”

Sarah’s cheeks glowed red and her hands came up to block her face. “Shut up! I don’t have an accent.”

“She’s right, Johnny,” Mark teased. “Y’all are welcome to stay as long as you want, because I love hearing her talk like that—and you’re easier to put up with than her mama.”

“Oh my God. I’m going to punch you,” Sarah said.

“That’s our cue to leave, wouldn’t you say, darlin’,” Johnny asked taking Ali’s arm.

Ali nodded. “Yeah, out of the line of fire.”

Chapter Twenty-Seven

When Ali had her bags in the house, she hugged Mark goodbye.

“You sure I shouldn’t stay until Johnny gets back?” he said. “I don’t mind waiting.”

“No, of course not. I can handle being home alone.” When he started to argue, she held up her hand. “I promise to call if I need anything.”

He smiled on a heavy exhale. “Okay, I’ll stop hovering.” He reached down and hauled Jamie up into a big bear hug. “See you Monday, buddy. Behave for mom and stick to the backyard this weekend.”

“Arrgg,” Jamie cried as Mark tipped him upside down then dropped him on his feet. “That means I can play my game all day!”

“No,” Ali said. “That means you can play your game for a while then play in the backyard for a while.”

“That’s exactly what it means…and don’t forget to put these toys away so Mom doesn’t have to do it,” Mark said, handing him the full bag of Transformers.

Jamie reached out for his bag. “All right,” he said, turning toward the stairs, hauling the bag with him.

“See you Monday morning,” Mark called after him. He chuckled and grabbed the door handle. “Please lock this.”

Ali rolled her eyes. “Okay.”

After locking the door behind Mark, she sighed and looked around the house. It was a relief being home with her boys, although she missed Johnny.

He wanted her and Micah to come with him to his doctor’s appointment that afternoon, but she forced him to go alone. He finally agreed which had been a switch from Monday when he had adamantly refused to go without her. Johnny had trouble letting go, but he was finally relaxing and letting her and Micah out of his sight. Although, as soon as the appointment ended he’d be knocking at her door to check on them, she was sure of that. Tonight would be their first night apart and in different houses since before Micah had been taken, which would be a challenge for them both.

This of course also meant it had been a week since they’d made love. Ali smiled at the memory of Micah’s first night back. That night had been so intimate. She had never shared moments like that with another man. Not even with Mark when they’d first been married or after Jamie had been born.

Being with Johnny that night and sleeping with Micah safely tucked between them had been one of the best nights of sleep in her life. She remembered the sense of completeness surging through her as they cradled Micah together in a cocoon of safety and love. If a stranger had looked in, they wouldn’t have been able to guess Johnny wasn’t Micah’s biological father. Johnny loved Micah just as much; if not more than any man could love his own child. He’d proven that when he jumped in front of a speeding car to keep him from being taken…and again when he realized he hadn’t stopped them when he gained consciousness.

Johnny didn’t have any memory of the first few hours after Micah had been taken, but Ali would never forget it. Johnny had been just as devastated as her and completely inconsolable. They’d finally sedated him. It wasn’t until they’d strapped him into the ambulance and taken him away that they had to sedate her too. Having Micah taken from her and watching Johnny get tossed around by that car was too much for her to deal with at once. She was grateful not to have been awake for those first 24 hours of Micah’s disappearance. The ordeal was hard enough without holding onto those memories.

Ali looked down at Micah and sighed. It had been thirteen days since Micah had been taken and eight days since he’d been found. Counting the days would only make the fear linger, but she never wanted to be complacent. Losing her son had taught her a valuable lesson. She’d never let her guard down again, and she would never take a moment with him for granted. Ali still felt incredibly grateful every time she looked at Micah. In the eight days since she’d gotten him back, the only time she’d let Micah out of her sight had been when he was with Johnny.

She smiled thinking about it. Johnny had become a constant presence to them and she loved him more for it every day, but she needed to force herself back to independence. She couldn’t rely on Johnny or any other man. She needed to learn to be more self-sufficient and she needed to learn to be comfortable alone.

The transition would be hard for her and Johnny, but he accepted her need to reclaim her life. Ali had a sneaking suspicion Sarah had something to do with Johnny’s acceptance of this and she was thankful to her. After spending so much time with Sarah, Ali felt she understood her better. Sarah was the exact opposite of Ali. Sarah had been completely independent and unwilling to let a man into her life, much less take care of her. At least until Mark came into her life. That’s what Mark had meant by ‘it wasn’t easy’. Mark was such a caretaker by nature and Sarah repealed the idea completely.

Ali on the other hand had been spoiled by Mark. He’d always taken care of her, even in the divorce. He’d taken on the grunt of their debt and let her have what she wanted without a fight—with exception to Jamie. Although, they were able to agree on that, neither wanted to hurt Jamie with a heated custody battle.

After Mark, she had Carl to take care of her, and he did. Not like Mark, not as constant and sure, but he had still taken care of her…at least until she’d gotten pregnant. The doorbell interrupted Ali’s thoughts. She smiled knowing it was Johnny and rushed to get it. She punched in the code and swung the door open.

“Oh—Carl? What are you doing here?”

“You didn’t return my calls so I came to check on you.”

“You called me?”

“Yeah, I’ve been calling every day. Are you going to let me in?”

She shook her head, still trying to recover from the surprise. “You must have been calling the house phone. I’ve been staying somewhere else this week.”

“I assumed you’d be home, public doesn’t seem like the right place for you and the kids right now.”

She tilted her head, was he really contradicting her parenting skills. “Yeah, I know that. I was hiding from the media at Mark and Sarah’s.”

Carl tried to step inside but she blocked him. “Alison, are you going to leave me out here on the doorstep?”

“Now isn’t a good time, Carl. I told you I don’t want you visiting while Jamie is here.”

“So, what? I have to wait another week. I’d like to see Jamie too.”

“No, I don’t want you spending time with Jamie. It’ll only confuse him right now.”

“Then give me a time, Ali. I want to see my son.”

“Come back on Monday. Jamie will be back at Mark’s for the week.”

“Fine, Monday.”

“Mark picks Jamie up at eight to take him to school, come after that,” she said.

“How about breakfast?” he offered.

“No, I don’t want to go out.”

“I’ll bring it. You don’t have to go anywhere.”

“Fine,” she agreed, hoping to shut him up and get him out of sight before Johnny showed up. “See you Monday morning—after eight.” Ali glanced over his shoulder.

He smiled and his whole demeanor had changed. “Okay, honey, see you then.” He turned away and was gone before Ali could correct him on the pet name. She scowled then closed and locked the door before setting the alarm to stay mode.

Ten minutes later the doorbell rang again, but she was much more cautious before opening it. She swung it open after seeing Johnny through the peephole and the sight of his long, lean, and chiseled body on her porch nearly stole her senses.

“Hi,” she said a little breathless.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he said before stepping inside. He kicked the door closed and jerked her to him in an intense kiss that told Ali he’d missed her just as much as she’d missed him. Johnny didn’t release her until Micah let out an impatient cry between them. “Hey, little man.” Johnny crooned loosening his grip on them and looking down at Micah in her arms. “Darlin’, have you put him down at all since you’ve been home.”

“I did…once…to use the bathroom. I got a few things unpacked with one hand.”

“Give that boy to me,” Johnny said taking him from her. He lifted Micah up and nuzzled his neck making him squirm and laugh.

Ali smiled. “I love that sound.”

“Me too…” he said and did it again.

“Go unpack, I’ll keep him busy.”

“Come with me. I want to hear how the doctor’s appointment went,” she said bouncing up the stairs.

“I’ll be right up.” He looked toward the family room. “I’m gonna say hi to Jamie first.”

Ali ran upstairs and continued to sort the laundry, happy that she could use both hands. She smiled, knowing it was her own fault for not wanting to put Micah down.

Johnny came into her bedroom a few minutes later. “That boy Jamie has a one track mind when it comes to his video games.”

“I know, and it doesn’t help that I won’t let him play outside yet.—At least not out front and he can’t ride his bike in the backyard.”

“Are you ready for me to move the crib back yet?” he asked as he laid Micah in it with a set of plastic toy keys.

She tossed a dirty sock on the pile of white clothes on the floor. “Ah…no, I’m not ready for that yet.”

“Let me know when you’re ready and I’ll take care of it for you.”

“Am I being too paranoid?” she asked. “Not letting Jamie play outside and keeping the crib by my bed.”

“Nope, not by my book. I didn’t think you wanted the crib moved. I just thought I’d offer so you didn’t think you had to do it yourself.” He sat on her bed and leaned back on one elbow.

“I can do it myself…” She glanced up at him then had to look away knowing she couldn’t be annoyed with him when he looked so damn sexy on her bed. First Mark—now Johnny. Why couldn’t they believe she could do things on her own? “I am capable.”

“I know that,” he said. “I don’t doubt your ability, sweetheart.”

“Good, because I’ll be fine without you here tonight,” she said quickly.

“I know that too.”

“I don’t want you to worry,” she said.

“Well…you can want in one hand-and spit in the other and see which one fills up faster.”

“Huh? What does that mean?”

“It means—just because you don’t want me to worry doesn’t mean I won’t.”

She grabbed another stack of dirty clothes, and started tossing them in piles on the floor. “I bet you’ll be happy to be home. You haven’t been there in two weeks.”

“I don’t mind either way,” he said. “I reckon since I’ve spent more time here than there, it don’t feel much like home to me anyway.”

She stopped with a pair of jeans in her hand. “Are you trying to make me feel guilty?”

“No, sweetheart, that’s called honesty. You’re managing to feel guilty all by yourself,” he drawled.

“I don’t feel guilty…” But he was right, she felt guilty and it was her own doing. She softened at the caring look on his face. “I thought you understood.”

“I do understand, which is why I haven’t complained. You seemed to be the one who’s having separation issues.” He gave her a wide smile in response to her exasperated look.

“It’s nice to know you’re not going to miss me,” she muttered under her breath.

“Why are you trying to pick a fight with me?”

“I am not trying to pick a fight.” She lifted up from the laundry pile with her hands on her hips.

“C’mere, darlin’,” he said nodding his head back.

She looked away. “Can’t…”

“Why?”

“Because you and that bed only mean trouble,” she said.

Johnny stood up and ambled over to her, grabbing her waist and pulling her closer. He stared into her eyes for a full minute before whispering, “I am going miss you.”

He snaked his arms around her and locked them; holding her so close she could hardly breathe. Slowly he withdrew and locked eyes with her, leaning her back and pinning her against the wall. “And I don’t need a bed to make trouble.”

Being alone with him, his lips devouring hers was more than she could handle with Jamie in the house. Another minute and she was going to lock the bedroom door and forget why she hadn’t asked him to move in.

“Johnny…” she breathed unclenching her hands from his as he withdrew from the kiss. Their eyes met and she could’ve cried. “I already miss you…”

“I know…it’s been an awfully long week hasn’t it?” He moved his hands down to cup her hips. “And you can stop feeling bad. I do understand, Ali.”

“I’m sorry.” She dropped her head to his chest. “I guess it’s easier to be mad than sad.”

“Let’s make a date.”

She popped her head back up and smiled. “Okay, when and where.”

“Monday, after Jamie goes back to Mark’s.”

“Okay…” Right, she had almost forgotten about Carl. “So…Monday night?” she asked.

“How about you and Micah come over to my house Monday afternoon? I’ll make you whatever you want for dinner—and you both can spend the night with me.”

“Sounds perfect.”

Johnny kissed her again, but pulled away when little footsteps drifted up the stairs. He walked backward and sat back down on the bed watching her with a seductive smile. She tried to wipe the grin from her face, but couldn’t so she went back to the laundry and tried to ignore him. “This doesn’t mean I have to wait until Monday afternoon to see you again, does it?” Johnny asked.

“No…oh no,” she said shaking her head. “I was thinking you could come over and watch a movie with us tomorrow night.”

“Yeah,” Jamie said coming into the room. “Do you like Transformers, Johnny?”

“You like Transformers too? It’s one of my favorites,” Johnny said.

“Right on—Mom, can we watch it?”

She sighed and shot Johnny a thankful smile over Jamie’s head, then said, “Okay…I guess we’re watching Transformers…again. What am I going to do with all you boys?”

“I guess you’re gonna have to have a girl next time,” Johnny said with a wink.

“Haaaaaha… yeah.” she said. “Cause I need another kid.”

“Well, I’m already getting a sister at dad’s house, so that’s okay, Mom.”

She gave him a crooked smile. “Thanks for letting me off the hook, Jay.”

Jamie bounced on the bed next to Johnny. “Can I have dinner now?”

“Sure…” Ali said. “What do you want?”

“Pizza,” Johnny said.

“Yeah, can we have pizza, Mom?”

“Thank you.” She mouthed sarcastically to Johnny as he chuckled at her.

“Fine…go get my phone and I’ll order it.”

“Cool,” Jamie said before rushing out of the room.