Present Perfect (27 page)

My head shot up and it felt as if all the blood had drained from my vital organs. Standing in front of me were Brad’s two friends, Jeremy and Spencer. I scrambled to grab the comforter and cover myself.

Jeremy took one step toward me then said to Brad, “Shit! I don’t believe it. You won again.” Brad and Spencer burst out laughing.

I was so shocked I wasn’t able to comprehend what was happening. I watched as Spencer reached in his front pocket, pulled out a wad of cash, and slapped it into Brad’s palm.

Looking up at Brad I asked, “What’s going on?” My voice was so shaky and weak, I didn’t recognize it.

Brad stepped forward, trying to stifle a laugh, and answered, “It’s just a little friendly bet between some of us on the team.”

“This is the third time in a row that this son of a bitch has won,” Jeremy said.

Brad shrugged his shoulders. “What can I say? I’m a natural.”

“Yeah, well, we almost didn’t get into see it with our own eyes, so this fuck was almost disqualified. Your mom had locked the front door. You better be glad we knew where the extra house key was hidden.”

My body started to shake uncontrollably as tears spilled down my cheeks. They were carrying on a conversation like I wasn’t even there, like I was a thing, not a person.

“Sorry about that. I wasn’t expecting her to come home,” Brad said.

“So on the cherry scale, how high does the sweet Amanda rate?” Spencer asked.

All three guys stood there watching me have a nervous breakdown, completely unaffected by what they had done to me.

A huge smile crossed Brad’s face. “Sweet Amanda was fucktastic. I’d give her a nine point seven five out of ten.”

“Bravo!” Jeremy and Spencer said in unison. All three started to slowly clap their hands.

The look on Brad’s face was disgusting. He looked as if he had done me a favor, like I should be honored that he rated me so high on his sleazy scale.

“We’ll give you some privacy so you can get dressed and leave,” he said.

Jeremy and Spencer left the room followed by Brad. He turned to face me, lingering in the doorway. I was trembling and tears drenched my cheeks, but no sounds of sobs came out of me. This felt like an out of body experience. Physically I knew what had happened to me, but my mind wasn’t ready to process it.

Looking up at Brad, I asked, “Why? I liked you. I thought we were friends.” My voice was weak, almost inaudible.

“It’s just sex, Amanda. It’s no big deal,” his voice was flat.

“It was to me,” I said, my voice gaining strength. “I don’t understand. Where’s the boy I’ve been spending so much time with who was sweet and made me laugh?”

Looking into his eyes I thought I saw a hint of remorse flash through them, but then he said, “Me and the guys want to go grab something to eat, so if you could hurry up, that’d be great.” Then he shut the door, ignoring my question completely.

The only sensation I felt now was the churning of my stomach. I slowly climbed out from under the comforter and looked for my clothes. When I looked down, I saw blood all over my legs and I got lightheaded. I didn’t care about wiping it off. I needed to get out of there. I put my clothes on and slipped into my shoes. I was such an idiot. How could I let something like this happen? I should have known he had ulterior motives. Noah warned me. I had a weird feeling the entire climb up the stairs and while we were in here, but I thought I was just being silly because his mom was home.

My god, his mom is still downstairs.

I never imagined anyone being capable of doing something this cruel. All the time we spent together was nothing more than him setting me up for the big payoff of winning a sick bet.

Thinking how much I needed Noah right now to put his arms around me and protect me, caused my sobs to escape.

I turned to leave and my stomach flipped. I grabbed the trashcan and held it for a minute. Maybe I could hold it together long enough to get home. My stomach started to settle down a bit. As I went to put the trashcan back I glanced down, spotted the used condom, and emptied my stomach all over it.

I crept downstairs as quietly as possible. The guys were in the kitchen talking and laughing. My body felt like it was starting to cave in on itself, ready to collapse at any minute. I grabbed my things and almost made it out the door when Brad’s words stopped me. I didn’t turn around.

“I don’t kiss and tell, so you don’t need to worry. Stewart won’t find out.”

I hugged my backpack tighter to my chest, flew out the door, and into my car.

I don’t know how long I aimlessly drove around town in a daze. I didn’t want to go home. I didn’t want to be around anyone. My first time being with a boy was nothing more than a sick contest, something to be joked about by Brad and his friends. How could I have wasted this first experience of something that should have been with someone who cared about me? Why didn’t I say something to those three douchebags? Why did I just slink out of there without uttering one word? Why didn’t I listen to my gut? I should have stopped things before they got so out of hand. I didn’t even love Brad. If Noah ever found out what happened I wouldn’t be able to look him in the eye again. He’d be completely disappointed and disgusted by me. I felt completely empty. I couldn’t think anymore. I just wanted to disappear.

Starting at the age of 10, I wished I was an adult. I was ready to be a grown-up. I couldn’t wait to make my own decisions, go places by myself, live where I wanted to, dress the way I wanted to, and eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.

I dreamed of the day when it would be my decision to eat cake and ice cream for breakfast, lunch, and dinner if I wanted to. Be careful what you wish for.

Growing up means situations and people change, problems are bigger, feelings are deeper and the hurt devastating.

Also, you really can’t eat cake and ice cream for all three meals. The fat content alone puts you at risk of heart disease, diabetes, and an enormous ass. Yeah, growing-up sucks.

High school was done and I made it through, graduating with honors. I finished number six in the class. As usual, falling short of the big prize, but I wasn’t surprised. Vincent had gotten Valedictorian. He earned it.

My senior year had been a mixture of extreme highs and lows. I learned two important things, though. One, Brad was a sleazy Smurffucker, who kept his word. Noah never did find out about what had happened. Two, I was very good at compartmentalizing. I let the Brad incident affect me for a few days. I stayed to myself as much as possible during that time, then I tucked it away into its own dark compartment, left it there, and moved on.

To celebrate all the graduates from my neighborhood, the parents put together a party at the neighborhood park. Younger brothers and sisters ran around playing as moms and dads congratulated each other on their graduate’s achievement. Sitting at “
our spot”
looking out toward the pond, I couldn’t help but flip through all the memories I had of this spot, both good and bad.

Remembering my dad pushing me and Emily on the swings, and him being at the bottom of the slide ready to catch me because he knew I was scared of falling off at the bottom. Of course, most of my memories were of Noah. Of how much fun we had on the playground and feeding the ducks as kids when my mom brought us here. I remember feeling so grown-up the first time we were allowed to walk here by ourselves, it was the first time Noah and I held hands. We had our first date and kiss here. I experienced my first heartbreak and healing here. Over the years, this became our spot to be alone with each other, to share dreams, talk about problems, to listen to each other, and on more than one occasion, eat cake.

“Earth to Tweet.” Noah waved his hand in front of my face bringing me back to the present.

“Sorry.”

He sat next to me. Both of us looked out over the pond.

“What do you have rattling around in that beautiful head?”

“Nothing much, I was just thinking about all the time we’ve spent here.”

“You’re not getting all sentimental and mushy on me, are you?”

“Maybe just a little.” I gave him a slight smile.

“It’s going be hard not having you around.” There was an undercurrent of sadness in his voice.

“It’s going to be hard not having
you
around. You’ll come visit me, right? Columbia isn’t far, only about an hour and a half.”

There was only one university in South Carolina that offered a degree in journalism, USC. Since receiving my acceptance letter, I had asked Noah everyday if he would come visit me while I was there.

“Nothing could keep me away from my girl. I’ll be up there so often you’ll get sick of me,” he said.

“Impossible.”

He picked my hand up and placed a sweet gentle kiss on the back of it. We sat, quietly enjoying our spot before the silence was cracked by the shrill sound of his name being called.

“Noah!”

He dropped my hand and stood as Brooke walked up to us. I was still on the fence about how I felt in regards to her. She had always been pleasant to me in a fake kind of way. I wanted Noah to move on and find someone, but that didn’t mean I had to like it or the person. Let’s face it, Brooke could have been Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny all rolled into one and I still wouldn’t like her dating my Noah. I tried not to show my petty ugly side when she was around. Noah seemed to like her and as long as he was happy, so was I.

“Hey, baby. I’ve been looking for you,” she said, wrapping her scrawny arms around Noah’s neck and giving him a kiss right on the lips. The kiss lasted an abnormal amount of time, I thought. We were after all in a public place with impressionable children running around. I cleared my throat reminding them that I was still sitting there.

Brooke released Noah’s neck. My eyes followed as she slid her arms down around his waist. “Sorry Amanda. I love kissing my fella. I just never want to stop.” I looked away to hide my eye roll. “Congrats on graduation,” she said.

Brooke had also graduated this year. She and Noah were staying in town and attending the College of Charleston for their undergraduate degrees. Noah would then attend the Medical University of South Carolina for his doctor’s degree in Sports Medicine. I didn’t know what Brooke’s educational plans were and I didn’t give a shit.

“Thanks. Back at ya.” I was monosyllabic when it came to Brooke. I couldn’t think of anything to say to her other than, “
get your slimy hands off my Noah”.
She probably wouldn’t want to hear that, so I kept it short and sweet.

“You hungry?” Noah asked Brooke.

She looked adoringly up at him and waggled her eyebrows. “I’m
always
hungry when you’re around, No-No.”

“Oh my god!! That’s your nickname?” It was out of my mouth before my brain had time to stop it. The laughter burst out of me with such force it caused me to jump back a little. “Oh man, that is rich.” I couldn’t seem to help myself. This was the most I had ever said to Brooke and it was all snarky.

She narrowed her eyes at me, her lips forming into a flat line. “I think it’s cute and Noah loves it when I call him that, especially followed by a moan.”

A cough flew out of Noah as if a bug had just flown into his mouth and down his throat. He rubbed the back of his neck and glanced over at me with a slight smile. Brooke giggled as she hugged his arm tighter.

“Did I give you the impression that I didn’t think it was cute? I’m sorry. It’s as cute as a Smurffucking button,” I said.

Now would be a good time to SHUT UP, Amanda.

An awkward pause fell over us. Somebody needed to leave. Noah glanced at me, as he put his arm around Brooke’s shoulder and said, “Well, let’s get you fed. See ya later, Tweet.”

As they started to walk away Brooke said over her shoulder, “See ya, Tweet.” Her sarcasm was evident. What a bitch.

Several yards away, they stopped. Noah whispered something into Brooke’s ear then jogged back to me. I couldn’t tell if he was mad or amused. Once he reached me, he leaned in close to my face.