Pretend (13 page)

             
I paused as I wondered what I should say next. I hadn't really thought this through before I opened my big mouth. Luckily I didn't need to.

             
"But
,
I know what I wanted to happen," he said as he glanced at me.

             
"What was that?" I whispered. I
don't know why I was whispering.
I guess I was scared of the answer tha
t I knew was coming. Hearing it
would make it real.

             
 
Suddenly, he pulled up next to the sidewalk.

             
"What are you doing? We're like two minutes from my house," I said, feeling rather confused.

             
"I know," he said as he turned to look at me.

             
There was that butterfly feeling again. The new silence, that had consumed the car sent feelings through me that I had never felt before. Aiden made my body go crazy, without even touching me and that was so new to me. As he stared into my eyes, I knew what he was saying. He gently unbuckled his seatbelt without taking his eyes of
f of mine. I couldn't look away. I
t was as if we were connected by an invisible force that I couldn't break. I could hear every breath that he took as he drew nearer to me. My heart was beating so hard in my chest as the air between us slowly disappeared. My body shuddered as the touch of his finger tips, slowly traced my arm. I didn't care that he was my best friend's brother anymore, I want
ed him. If I had to risk it all
just to feel like this even once, then it wa
s worth it. As his hand made it
s way to my cheek, I watched as he stared at me.
His face was more serious now
as though he was taking in every angle of me. He gently moved my hair behind my ear and brought his face towards mine. I closed my eyes in anticipation of what was to come next. I wanted this. His hand slipped around my slender waist and pulled me towards him, closing that last inch that stood between us.

             
Suddenly my phone began to vibrate, snapping me back to a harsh reality.

             
I felt his warm breath on my lips as he let out a deep sigh. As I looked at the clock in Aiden's car I decided
that it must have been my mom,
wondering where I was. I pulled away from him gently and slipped my
cell from my purse
.

             
"Sorry," I whisper
ed, regretting the interruption
just as much as he did.

             
I let out a frustrated sigh as I looked at the number on my phone.

             
"Let me guess," Aiden said as he repositioned himself in his seat.

             
"Let me just hear what he's got to say," I said as I stare
d at him
in the hope of receiving some sympathy. All I got was silence.

             
"What?" I snapped as I answered the phone.

             
"April, I've been calling you all day, why didn't you pick up? Did you get my message?" Kyle answered in a rather strange voice.

             
"No, look I'm busy so-"

             
"I'm outside of your house," he interrupted.

             
"What!" I screamed as I hung up th
e phone and threw it into my purse
.

             
How dare he?

             
This was the last time that
he was going to do this to me.
H
e needed to know that we
were over once and for all. He chose Rachel so why
doesn't he just leave me alone?

             
"What?" Aiden asked in an uninterested tone.

             
"He's outside of my house," I replied, angrily.

             
"Great," he said as he started the engine back up and began to drive.

             
We didn't speak for the two minute journey. As I pulled up outside of my house and saw Kyle's face
,
my cheeks started to burn with anger.

             
"Stay here," I told Aiden as I stared at him.

He didn't say anything and so I put my hand on top of his and waited for him to look at me.

             
"Please?" I pleaded.

             
"Ok,"
he finally answered in a calm
voice.

             
"Thank you, I'll be two minutes," I said as I stepped out of the car and walked towards Kyle.

             
"What the hell are you doing?" I demanded as I approached him.

             
"I told you that I needed to talk to you," he replied as he stared down at the ground.

             
I looked into his puffy, red eyes that he was trying to hide from me.

             
"Have you been smoking?" I asked in disgust.

             
"No," he snapped back at me.

             
"Look, Kyle you can't do this! You can't text me and tell me to move on and then say that you want to meet up
with me in the next. I
s this some sort of game?"

             
"No, I didn't text you saying that," he said in a confused tone.

             
"Look
,
I am so fed up of you and your lies! You can't keep doing this Kyle, you have-"

             
"Mimi's in hospital!" He shouted over me.

             
I stopped dead in my tracks and stood frozen. As the words played in my mind, I felt sick. I didn't understand. All of my feelings of anger suddenly disappeared.

             
"I don't understand," I stuttered as my eyes began to fill up with tears.

             
"Sh
e was hit by a car last night
,
a
f
ter
the party, I wanted to call you but I left my phone at Rachel's. I text you as soon as I got it back. I don't know what to do," he said as a tear rolled down his red cheek.

             
Everything
started
to make perfect sense. Rachel sent the text that I read this morning but more importantly Mimi was hurt.

             
"Is she ok?" I whispered as the shock
almost
took my voice away.

             
"She
hit her head quite bad and hasn’t woken up yet
. I'm scared, I didn't know where else to go," he said as streams of tears fell down his face.

             
My hands
were shaking as I pictured her body
lying in the road. I couldn't move. Just as I felt like I was going to drop
,
Kyle's arms wrapped around me. I held him
as
tight as I
could and
buried my head into his shoulder and cried my heart out.

             
As I heard the sound of an engine rev and a car drive away, I suddenly remembered that Aiden was watching. It was too late,
he was gone. All I could think about was my beautiful Mimi right now, Aiden would have to wait.

             
"Come on," I said as I slid my hand into Kyle's and lead him towards my front door. I gently slipped the key into the lock and opened it up.

             
As I walked in, I was greeted by the shocked look on my mom's face.

             
"Kyle's sister was in an accident, she's in hospital," I said before she got the chance to say a word.

             
"Oh no, I'm so sorry Kyle. You two come in, I'll just go upstairs," she replied in a gentle tone, before smiling at me and disappearing up the stairs. She understood how much this would hurt us both.

             
We sat on the chair in silence as we consumed ourselves in our own painful thoughts. My heart ached as Kyle's words played over and over again in my mind.

             
How could this happen?

             
Why her?

             
Why m
y Mimi?

             
She didn't deserve this. S
he still had so much to do, so much to see. I couldn't accept it. I couldn't get the image of her feeble, ten year old body lying there hooked up to machines and wires
,
out of my mind.

I gently slipped my hand on top of Kyle's and squeezed it gently. It was crazy
to think
that I had just been so mad at him and then with one sentence, it had all disappeared. Right now we had something in common and that was our love for Mimi, our need for her to live.

             
"Are you ok?" I finally asked.

             
He shook his head and then began crying hysterically into his hands.

             
I pulled him towards me and held him tight, trying to hold back my own tears and be strong.

             
"I know, I know," I said as I stroked his hair and tightened my grip.

             
I loosened my grip as I f
elt him slowly lifting his head.
As his bloodshot eyes met with mine, I could literally feel the pain as though we were completely connected. I could feel everything that he was feeling. He slid his hand up and stroked my face,
wiping away the tears that were now pouring uncontrollably down my cheeks. I closed my eyes as I took in the familiar touch of his warm hand and before I knew it his lips had met mine. As he lifted himself on top of me I felt his warm tears falling onto my cheeks as he continued to kiss my lips. My fingers slipped into his soft hair as the weight of his body lay on top of mine. I missed his touch so much. I wanted to be free of pain, I didn't want to cry anymore, I wanted to forget everything and I knew tha
t he did too.
As I felt his hand slip underneath my pink top, I gently pulled away.

             
"No," I whispered, quietly.

             
He collapsed into my chest and cried without
saying a word. As he lay there
,
I stroked his hair and stared at the blank wall ahead of me.

             
How could this be happening?

             
"I'm sorry, I just wanted to forget," he finally replied after a few moments of silence.

             
"I know," I said.

             
We lay in silence for hours until we finally drifted off into a sleep.

* * *

             
The noise from the kitchen caused my eyes to snap open. As I looked down at Kyle,
sleeping peacefully on my chest
the sad reality came flooding back. I gently slid myself from underneath him and headed, quietly towards the kitchen.

             
"Hey
," my mom said as I opened the door and walked in.

             
"Hey, what are you doing up?" I asked.

             
"I just needed a drink. How is he?" She asked, pointing towards the wall that separated the kitchen from the living room.

             
"Not great, he's sleeping," I said as my heart began to ache once again.

             
"Poor boy.
What about you?" She asked
,
staring deep into my eyes.

             
"Heartbroken," I muttered.

             
"Oh, baby," she said as she pulled me into a warm embrace and kissed my forehead.

             
"She'll be just fine sweetheart, God's angel will be watching over her," she replied.

             
When I was younger and I would get upset, she would always tell me that God's angel were watching over us and that everything would be ok. To date she hadn't been wrong.

             
"Should I wake him?" I asked, looking up at my mom's face.

             
"No, let him sleep, he's probably exhausted. You get some rest too, ok?"

             
"Yeah.”

             
"Ok
, I'm going back up now, night.”