Pretend (7 page)

             
I remained silent.

             
"Right?"
She repeated, now looking more confused.

             
"April look-"

             
"No! Please, just stop. I can't do this. I just need to go," I said as I headed towards the front door.

             
"Go?
Where?"

             
"Home,
I just need to get out of here.”

             
"What, just because of what Rachel said. Who cares, she doesn't even know what she is talking about half of the time," she tried to reassure me.

             
"No, you'
re wrong because she does know. Half of the things that she said were
true. I am pathetic and I'm lonely. It may be crazy and stupid but I do still love Kyle, I don't want to but I do. I was just stupid enough to believe that for one minute he may have loved me too but who could love me Crystal, I'm a mess," I said as
the
tears began to roll down my cheeks.

             
I looked over at Crystal and to my surprise she too was crying.

             
"Don't you dare say
that.
You're beautiful, kind and wonderful. You're the best friend that anyone could ever ask for and I love you. You've got me,
Jinnie, Jess, Erica and Aiden.”

             
"It's not enough Crystal, it's not enough," I said as I continued to walk down her path.

             
"Wait,
 
you can't go h
ome alone, it's after midnight
. I'll get Aiden, just hang on," she shouted behind me.

             
"I'll be fine," I replied. It wasn't loud enough for her to hear but I didn't care anymore.
 

             
I continued to walk down the road towards my house. It was dark and cold. Great, I'd left my jacket inside of Aiden's car. Tonight just seemed like one mistake after another. I felt so stupid, pretending that Aiden was my boyfriend just to get at Kyle. I must have been crazy to
even
believe that he could ever care. I wasn't crying anymore, it was too cold and even if it wasn't
,
I had no more tears left to cry. I just felt angry and betrayed. Everything was just such a mess.

             
I suddenly heard the sound of a car engine driving beside me. I started to reg
ret
 
not carrying around the pepper
spray that Bob always tried to convince me to use. Maybe
 
they
will drive past, I told myself.
I was wrong.

             
"Hey, you look cold," a voice said.

As I turned around to face the car
I saw my jacket hanging out
of
the window of a silver mustang.

             
"Thought
that
you could use this," Aiden said as he continued to dangle my jacket from the window with a smile on his face.

             
"I'm fine," I grumbled as I continued to walk faster.

             
"Ok, suit yourself," he replied as I caught him placing the jacket back in
side of
the car out of the corner of my eye.

             
"I told Crystal that I'd be fine," I said without looking in his direction.

             
"Yeah and I told her that I would make sure that you got home safely," he said with a smile on his face.

             
His stupid, smiling face sent a rush of anger through me.

             
"Well I'm not getting in the car," I shot back at him.

             
"That's ok I'll just quietly drive next to you," he replied, still with a smile on his face.

             
"Great," I mumbled to myself as I continued to walk along the road.

             
As I tried to allow the air to clear my mind I was distracted by a low vibrating sound. When I turned to face the sound, I realised that Aiden was singing.

             
"Really?"
I said as I stared into the car.

             
"Hey
,
it's not that bad," he said as he continued to sing.

             
"Can
you stop?" I demanded.

             
"Are you going to get in the car?" He asked.

             
"No," I replied.

             
He continued to sing. I tried to ignore him but
 
it was becoming increasingly annoying. I threw him a look and growled
 
at him.

             
"Ok there?" He asked as he threw another smile in my direction.

             
"If I get in the car will you shut up?"

             
"Yeah, I suppose
 
I
 
can do that," he said as a smirk spread across his lips yet again.

             
I walked over to the car, opened the door, got in and slammed it behind me.

             
"Hey, door slamming hurts Sally's feelings," he said as he stared at me.

             
I couldn't help but allow a smile to spread across my lips. Somehow Aiden was very good at lightening even the darkest of moods.

             
"Just drive," I said as I
 
began to stare out of the
 
window
in a bid to hide the smile on my face
.
 

             
"Yes
maam
," he replied in a southern accent as he started the car back up and headed towards my house.

             
Part of me
was glad that I had gotten inside of
the car, I was freezing
but I wasn’t about to admit that anytime soon
.

             
“Are you warm enough?” He asked.

             
“Yeah I’m fine thanks,” I replied as I tried to disguise the fact that I was still shivering.

             
“Oh is that why you’re shivering, because you’re fine?” He asked with a smirk on his face.

             
“I am not shivering,” I lied.

             
“You know, you weren’t a good liar when I first met you and I can assure you that nothing has changed,” he said as he
chuckled to himself
.

             
“And you were a jerk when I first met you and I can assure you that nothing has changed,” I said, sarcastically.

             
“Wow, who let mean April out to
play
?” He asked as he raised his eyebrows at me.

             
“Sorry, I’m just not in a great mood
,” I said in a guilty tone.

             
“Yeah, I gathered. Look you can tell me to mind my own business-“

             
“Mind your own business,” I interrupted as we both burst out laughing.

             
It felt good to laugh.

             
“Like I was saying, you can tell me to mind my own business but I’ll still ignore you and mind your business anyway,” he said as he threw me a smile.

             
“Yeah, I thought as much.”

             
“No but seriously
,
I don’t know
exactly
what went on tonight
but
I do know that
the April that I know never gives up. You can knock her down a thousand times but she
’ll always come back fighting. Just d
on’t forget that she
still
exists, ok?” He asked in a serious tone.

             
I sat in silence, thinking before finally answering him.

             
“I won’t,” I said as I gave him a weak smile.

             
It sounds crazy but he had n
o idea how much I needed to hear
those words. I felt so weak and so alone lately. I felt as though I wasn’t
even
me anymore and perhaps it was time to change that, time to move forward.

             
"Home, sweet, home," Aiden said
, breaking me out of my thoughts.

             
I t
ook a deep breath and just star
ed out of the window. It was like I was
 
glued to the seat.

             
"You, ok?" He asked.

             
"Yeah, I've been so stupid tonight, thinking that things could change
between me and Kyle
," I said as I turned to meet his gaze.

             
"Believe me, you are not the stupid one. Some people just don't realise what they have," he replied in a more serious tone.

             
"I'm really grateful for what you did for me by the way," I said.

             
"Anytime, it was no problem at all. I was happy to see Kyle gett
ing a taste of his own medicine.  I
t was as
much for you as it was for me.”

             
"Yeah, well I'm
still
grateful, even if Rachel probably worked it
all
out and told Kyle everything. It was nice to feel wanted
again even if it was
just for one
 
night," I said as a feeling of sadness swept over me.

             
"It was nothing," he said as he threw me a smile.

             
"Well I guess I better be off. T
hanks for making sure
that
I got in safe
ly
," I said as I stepped out of the car. I turned to Aiden one last time before closing the door.

             
"Night," I whispered before
finally
closing the car door.

             
"Night," he replied
as he smiled at me through the window
.

             
I walked up
 
the path and opened the door
with my key. I waved at Aiden
one last time and then slipped inside
of my house. I tried
not to make t
oo much noise
as everyone seemed to be asleep.

             
I crept up the stairs quietly, trying not to be heard.

             
"April, is that you?"

             
"Yes M
om, it's me," I whispered through the crack of her
bedroom
door.

             
"Did you have a nice evening?" She asked, sounding half asleep.

             
I suddenly had to take a deep breath and stop my voice from shaking.

             
"Yes, it was great," I lied.

             
"Ok, that'
s lovely. Goodnight sweetheart.”

             
"Night
M
om," I said before finally entering my room.

             
I closed the door behind me, put my things down and began to get changed into my pyjamas. As I stared at my reflection, I heard a vi
brating sound coming from my purse
. I walked over to my draw
er
s where I had placed it and gently took it out of my bag. It was a text message from Kyle. After tonight's events, I couldn't handle hearing anything else to do with him. I placed the phone face down on my chest of draw
er
s, turned off the light and slipped into my bed.

             
I lay curled up in a ball under my duvet and cried myself to sleep...