Pretty Instinct (44 page)

Ergo, the joke we hear most often is usually some varied form of “
when
did you find time to get pregnant?”

I can tell them the minute it happened, not that I ever will, but it was at approximately 2:15 am last September 16
^th
. No one was in the house but us, a mild thunderstorm woke me up, and I figured, what better birthday present for my husband??

We made our daughters on his birthday, to the rhythm of a warm, gentle storm outside our window, and today, June 7
^th
, they turn one.

I’m working feverishly trying to ensure
Yo Gabba Gabba
covers every available space in the kitchen and back deck while the girls get their nap, so they’ll be party perky instead of gabba grumpy. Daddy’s run to pick up the cakes—something about they each get to explore and/or demolish their own—and I’m praying I’ll have enough time for a quick shower before the doting masses show up.

Or Conner.

Thinking he’s so sly.

“Hi, Sister!” Okay, even for Conner, usually at about a 15, he’s rocking every decibel of 25. “Where are my babies?” This time he leans toward the hall, where he
screams
it.

“Conner!” I aim narrowed eyes at him and point a raw hot dog his way, not set on the cooking platter yet. “Be quiet. The girls will be grumpy if they don’t have a nap, and I
know
you’re trying to wake them up!” I hiss quietly. “I mean it, mister!”

“Oh, did you hear that?” He cups his ear, wide-eyed. “I heard I think my babies.”

Did I mention Conner thinks his nieces are better than all the fish in all the world?

“No, Bubs, I didn’t hear—” I knew better than that! Turn my back for one second and he’s off! I quickly wash my hands, heading for their room, but I stop, listening over the monitor.

“Good morning, birthday Sophia,” he coos at her, and she makes soft, happy gurgle in response.

Did I mention the girls think their uncle is the best person in the whole wide world?

I mean, they love me, and are
very
partial to their Daddy, but Conner? You’d just have to see it to understand.

“Tell your mean Bethy mom you were already awake, okay, Sophia? You are a very, very cute baby, my baby. Your mom and dad got brown eyes, ‘cept yours are blue. That’s how I know you’re my baby. Sophia Conner Carmichael, queen of the wild babies.”

Her middle name is Anna, and
obviously
her last name is Blackwell…tomay-toe, tomato.

“Bethy mom said I can change your diaper, long as I do it on the floor, so come on.” She babbles at him as I listen. No thump, meaning he laid her down gently, tabs ripping open, raspberries on belly, one-year-old giggle, lid on wipes popping open…sounds good from here. He’s watched me a hundred times, wanting nothing more than to perfect taking care of them.

“Daddy’s home!” Cannon walks in precariously and I rush over to save one of the wobbling cakes.

I kiss him soundly. “Hey, you.”

“Girls still asleep?” He waggles his eyebrows.

“You tell me.” I lay a finger over my lips to shush him.

“That was a very good job, Sophia. Now, let’s go try not to wake up your sister,” Conner conspires over the monitor. “It would be very bad if we tickled her feet, Sophia, so we cannot do that. And we should not blow in her face or shake her bed.”

“Be right back.” He sets the cake on the counter and takes off down the hall. “Hey, Con, whatcha doin?” He chuckles. “Hello, sweet Sophia, come see your daddy, you big birthday girl.”

“Cannon, I want Stella to wake up right this minute.”

“Really? Huh, well, wake her up, Bubs, soft and quietly. Don’t startle her, okay?”

“Stella Conner Carmichael!” he yells, at about a 9. Oh, and her middle name is Elizabeth, not named after me, but rather Cannon’s mom- her full name. And since she’s Sophia’s twin…
also
a Blackwell.

Potay-toe, potato.

“Con, why don’t you help Soph into her pink party dress and I’ll get Stella up?” Cannon offers to save his daughter a startling wake up call, and I lean against the counter, listening to it all over the monitor with a smile you couldn’t beat off my face.

“No, Sophia wears the blue dress like mine and hers eyes. Stella gets pink because hers are brown like you guys.”

“My bad,” Cannon laughs, “you’re right. So Stella’s our baby then?”

“Psshh.” Conner’s abhorred. “Her chubby cheeks is mine
and
she always looks at the fish. She is mine too.”

“What’d you get them for their birthday?”

“I got Sophia a snail and Stella a toad. I found them both on my sidewalk.”

Oh dear God, tell me I’m hearing things.

“Cool! They can see them every time they come to your house, right?”

Adore
my husband.

With the first knock on the door, I turn off the monitor, mentally say goodbye to my shower and go greet our guests with a smile. Of course Libby’s here first and that
may
be Marshall behind her, or the FAO Schwartz delivery man, completely buried. Walking right up behind them is my dad and family…
are those Power Wheels Barbie jeeps?

They’re. One.

Everyone else arrives within minutes of each other. Bruce mans the grill, Jarrett tackles Vaughn and Bryson in the yard, and Hope sits enraptured as Sommerlyn braids her hair.

I search around for Rhett, I know I saw him come in, finally spotting him out back. Ahh, of course—he’s assembling a playhouse. I mean, they’re one after all.

And then, I hear them, a babbling chorus of “Ma” and baby claps and I turn to see my girls.

Stella Elizabeth and Sophia Anna Blackwell, my twin angels, one in pink, one in blue, one in Daddy’s arms and one in Uncle Conner’s, both the absolutely most perfect little people I’ve ever helped create.

“Ma!” Stella dives for me, the only chance I stand, since Sophia leans toward all the wonderful men in her life like glue.

“Happy Birthday, my beauty.” I kiss her cheek as I take her and sniff her head—which never gets old. “Are you one?” I hold up a finger and she mimics me. “Good girl! Yes, you are one!”

“I hear them!” Libby comes flying in the room, Laura standing to the side, politely waiting her turn. “Where’s Nana’s babies?”

“You gotta share, Nana!” Conner frowns at her.

As I watch them all showering love over my children, I simply smile, basking in all my little family is blessed with…so much
more
family, all of them fawning over the girls constantly. I feel those familiar, strong arms come around my waist from behind and I sigh, letting my head fall back on his shoulder. “Already one,” I say a little nasally, “can you believe it?”

“Love, I look around my life every day and never believe any of it. At the center of it all is you, my Siren. All of this, you gave me freely. I love you so damn much, Lizzie.”

“I love you too.” I peer back and up at him and pucker.

“Oh yeah, Imma need a nibble.” He winks and takes it.

These are in no particular order…and until you’ve had to decide who goes where…oh, and made sure not to forget anyone while your stomach churns since you KNOW you’re going to do just that…don’t judge me. Xo

IF I forgot you- I’m sorry.

First and foremost, I thank God, for giving me the inner strength to keep going, my own mind to use as hard and well as I can and the beautiful people who surround me and bless me every day.

My husband Jeff- could NOT function, let alone write books, without you babe. In a few days, it will be 18 years, and they’ve been the best of my life. You were MADE for me, the only person I’d go through this crazy maze called life with and come out on the other side with only a few scratches.

My girls- thank you for being the independent, understanding, patient young ladies that you are! I’m so damn proud of every single one of you. Lyndsey- you go girl, proved em all wrong- you WILL persevere, grow stronger, do great things; and I cannot wait to watch you float across that stage like the princess you are! Brookie- just do you baby, find your way a lil more every day and keep that kind heart and warm smile! You’re a sweet baby girl! And Shelby Jo- well, you rock kid, kicking ass on every forum you grace!

Mom- I love you. I have you to thank for my “keep going til they kill ya” spirit and love of words (yes, I remember practicing for the spelling bees walking up and down U of A campus.) For my humor, that I think is funny at least…and for the way you adore my girls. Thanks Mom xo

To my family- all of you- we are my favorite kind of crazy!!! I have the best fam in the whole world, always there when I need you, for a laugh or support, to remind me what I’m made of, how far I’ve come and that I can still go further! The women in my family taught me strength, independence and humor…the men, how to demand myself be treated…how to write romance basically.

Erin Roth- With me since Emerge, you’re an amazing editor! I love your lil comments when I hit your funny and insight when I don’t. I’m so thrilled with how our relationship has blossomed and I couldn’t do it without your professionally stubborn, keen eye. Love you!

Toski Covey- Not only for all my beautiful cover photos, or the phone calls and texts, or amazapimping, or beta reads…but for being my friend; my true friend, who cares about me, as a person, and helps me see what really matters and what doesn’t and reminds me some friendships are meant to be…outside of book world.

Carrie “Cookie” Horton Richardson- For picking up Emerge, and starting a trail of fire that changed my life, a room that brought me to people now my friends, staying with me all this time, supporting me endlessly and trusting me with your kind heart.

Cyndi Lane- YOU have changed my life, made it easier. You take care of my worries before I know they’re there. You lift me up, think ahead of me and just basically ROCK!!! I am SO lucky to have you, never leave me…I will find you.

Sommer Stein- Girly Swirly, you are da bomb!!!!!! I love you so much, I might name a character after you …oh wait, I did that! ;) In all seriousness, I can’t ever repay you for your generosity, eye for detail and love of me and my books. Xo

Nessie Wallace- Woman, you will never know what your support and actual caring, about me as a person, means to me. You have gone above and beyond to become my friend. If I never wrote another book, I know I’d still talk to you every day. I love you. For the typing, the teasers, the muse search, the shot glasses, the texts, the love…..everything you do that makes you you and restores my faith in the good of people…thank you!

Angela Graham- to more just like Stirred Up, it was so much fun taking our CP relationship that started at Emerge to a co-writing level! Thanks for the ear and great ideas! We always “bounce back,” and I’m thankful for that. xo

Ashley Suzanne- For all the times you’ve made me feel loved, respected, appreciated and the time you’ve put into me, my work and my heart- thank you boo! Here’s to many years of bitching each other out, to call tearfully making up…to finish that scene (while eating Fruit Loops or some other delicious “snack”)

Erin Noelle- I love you. You’re genuine, kind, honest, reciprocating and a good person!!!! I pray we are always friends! You ARE my lady crush.

Sam Stettner- I won’t ever not love you. To this day, you continue to help me with all sorts of things and you are my friend, now and forever.

Ena Burnette- To the lady who has rocked out all my cover reveals and blog tours, and somehow, does them better and better every time…..I owe you girl, you’re fabulous!

Bethany Castaneda- THANK YOU sweet girl for all your help and support xo

Lisa Marie Kreinheder- THANK YOU so much for all your help xo

Shayne McClendon, Harper Sloan, Shantel Tessier and Hilary Storm- for the above and beyond! Xoxox

Michelle Grad- one of my originals, you kinda spin my world girlie! Much love xo

Tera Chastain and Amber Warne- Girls, you GO HAM on the teasers and the pic posts of “congrats” and “welcome!” Yes, I notice, and appreciate it, my lil slutmonkey and sweetpea xo

Renee Entress- You’re too good to me woman, luv ya xoxoxo

Whitney Lynn- for the swag and extra help xoxoxo

Sean Smith- Thank you for being my Cannon Blackwell muse and all the support! https://www.facebook.com/SeanSmithFitness

Book Geek Boutique- Thank you for the awesome, timely, affordable swag! Xoxoxo

Mom by Design- your shot glasses and hand-work are amazing!!!!!

Book trailer makers- Kara, Jasmine and Kasey- THANK YOU- I love them!!!!

Brenda Wright- coming in like the clutch beast formatter, THANK YOU!!!!! Here’s to a long relationship together xo

To S.E. Elite- I tried to thank as many of you in sneaky ways in PI as I could, and will get the rest of you next book, but THANK YOU ALL so very much for all you do. I truly would put my ST up against any on the planet, you’re amazing, you’re family!!!!!!!

Evolve Crew Cuties- Thank you so much for all the love and support, it means the world to me!

Beautiful Betas of PI- Thank you for all the love and feedback, you helped so much and I appreciate it beyond words!!!

Bloggers- Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for taking a chance on this lil ole’ Indie and giving her work voice! I hope I say thank you enough, if not, THANK YOU!!!!!!!

Kellie Montgomery and all the ECB girls- all 5 picks for 2013???? Your blog truly has been perhaps my biggest supporter, never even have to ask…..THANK YOU! You changed the game for me and I will never be able to repay you!

To the readers…..each and every one of you- THANK YOU. For reading, loving, recommending, blogging, tweeting, sending me a message of support…..it’s all for you!