Pride & Princesses (30 page)

    
Mouche continued to talk whilst I flexed my ankles and pretended to look serious, ‘before we start on the topic of...Teegan’s discovery...(Teegan beamed with pride) I’d like to thank everyone for arriving promptly...’

The meeting continued and everyone’s face lit up after grievances about school, boys and clothes had been aired:

‘I would now like to officially ask you all to join our Plan for
The Year of Dating Dangerously
. Please take the time to read it well and hide it even better. The meeting place is here; the guide book (Teegan presented a large blank faux-leather bound pink diary – empty – our original one was hidden safely). This diary will be kept at all times, in a common place; a group locker ostensibly used for sports and other sundry items but which shall now be referred to as ‘the secret locker’ – spoilage (i.e. treasured gifts) from the dates can be kept there (we weren’t too worried because we didn’t think a new plan would bring any but of course, we’d underestimated the resolve of the overindulged, who would make it their mission to outdo us and especially each other...)

The girls in ‘our group’ took the paper in silence and read it wistfully. This is what it said:

RULES FOR THE YEAR OF DATING DANGEROUSLY

1.
    
A kiss is meaningless, remember the higher prize and use what you can to get it. Let everyone know you’ve staked your claim, including the object of your affection.

2.
    
Romance is so yesterday, a date today is so different from a date in the sixties. Pre-men expect a casual hook up. So why should we care? Act like a guy and care as little as they do.

3.
    
For the secret rules of this game ‘a date/ hook up’ must consist of a beginning middle and end and all details have to be written up in the
Boy-Rating
diary which is kept in a mutually hidden place. All secrets must be revealed in this guide. All secrets to all of us, all the time. At the end of the school year, if we all agree to go public with an
edited
version, it can be uploaded onto a shared blog.

4.
    
Proof:
 
there needs to be proof of the date in the form of photographs for our treasure chest, gifts, love tokens (and especially red roses) as these are indicative of true love.

5.
    
The girl needs to make every effort to impress the boy; after all, around here, any decent guy is a wanted commodity.

6.
    
The ultimate love token comes in the form of a love letter. Whoever gets the most love letters and gets Mark Knightly to take her to the prom, wins the competition.

7.
    
All details must be shared; contributions to be made by all parties, with an overview and progress report due on the last Friday of every month; meeting to re-convene here.

8.
    
Any previously dated man must not enter our mutual place of work.

9.
    
All resources have to be combined in our secret box (AKA ‘the Treasure Chest’) to be bestowed upon the winner.

10.
 
The Game shall remain a SECRET between the ex HSYLs even if and when we decide to involve other people in our game.

    
Brooke was the first to look up in awe.

   
‘Uh, I’m not sure whether or not I agree with Rule One.’

   
‘Each to their own,’ Mouche replied. ‘Now, can we leave the discussion of the
Rules
for later. This second sheet is vital...’

   
At that point we gave them a list of the original boyzamples but subverted the descriptions. So, for example, we said a boy without integrity (eg. Alex Miller) actually had loads of it and other boys who were total man sluts (eg. Ethan Mandel) were actually extremely gentlemanly on a date. You can imagine the rest.

  
The jaws of the Princesses dropped open when we handed them the list of collectible treasure hunt items
(we’d made some more refined and others more general to account for the extra size of the ‘new’ group).

  
‘Isn’t this a bit morally dubious?’ Brooke asked. She’d given up on her contacts and had begun cleaning her glasses with a napkin.

  
‘Yes, isn’t this like,
Diary of a Teenage Callgirl
?’ Freya responded, her mouth twisting slightly in anticipation.

   
‘Only if you think prostitution is wrong,’ Tory replied, her pretty but vacant face searching for the up side.

   
‘I think it’s definitely wrong...unless you love them,’ Teegan said, hinting at hidden depths previously unrevealed. ‘But I guess, shared knowledge of all these boy dates would really enhance our romantic futures...’

   
‘
Diary of a Teenage Callgirl
...mmm...that’s a really good title for a blog,’ Freya added with more creativity than I’d given her credit for.
 

    
‘Listen up, girls. Here are the lists of items we want to gather in our treasure chest,’ Mouche handed out the sheets of printed paper with a sweet smile.

Treasure Hunt Items

A pen (for writing up the guide)

Designer clothing

Designer perfume

The Perfect interview Shoes or boots in two sizes since we are all one of two sizes (convenient)

A golden bracelet (preferably eighteen carat or over)

A pair of Chanel sunglasses

A cashmere coat

A winter scarf

A diamond ring

   
‘How are we supposed to get all of this?’ Brooke asked.

   
‘That’s the game,’ I said, ‘for those of us who don’t have objections.’

    
‘Well, I think it’s materialistic and wrong,’ Brooke added.

    
‘Then don’t play,’ Teegan said.

    
Brooke looked crushed until Mouche relented. After all Brooke now knew a version of the Plan so it seemed sensible to include her or she might spill the beans to the rest of the school and ruin everything.
 

    
‘Okay, Brooke, you can still play just leave out the kissing and gathering of items...’ Mouche said.

 
  
Teegan rolled her eyes, ‘geez Brooke, you’ve become so uptight. Like that’s going to be any fun.’

   
Brooke simply shrugged, ‘well, it’s nice to be included.’
 

   
‘Fine. You work it out,’ Mouche replied.

   
‘Since you’re so smart, why don’t you just tell us,’ Teegan suggested.

   
‘It’s all in there, read the fine print...we need to rely on our personal attributes to become self-made women.’ Tory added.

   
We also handed them a list of ‘helpful’ dating quotes from discarded guides...

   
‘It’s all in the list,’ Freya replied, ‘....wow...you guys are
way
knowledgeable.’

‘Meeting to re-convene at the end of next month. Be here or... be somewhere else,’ Mouche said in her offhand, jokey way; as if she was saying
be here or beware...

   
Teegan, Freya, Brooke and Tory were delegated Adam, Alex, Tobias and Scott. They didn’t seem too happy about it but each was prepared to try for specific research, love letters and possible items. We all decided after we’d had one more date a piece, to share items gained and lessons learned, then all bets were off to date Mark and bring him to the prom. Because both Mouche and I had decided he was a pretty disagreeable sort of fellow, we had no emotional investment in the dating process whatsoever; everything to win and nothing to lose. The Princesses, being even more materialistic (save perhaps Brooke) than ourselves, were sure to be better at scamming gifts from our prospective boyzamples and then we could just swoop in, and divvy up the spoils.

  
‘Mmm...I have a question,’ Tory asked. ‘Would it be possible to change the bracelet to a charm bracelet? It might be easier to gather charms...’

  
The Princesses were already thinking on an entrepreneurial level. Perhaps their business minds were even keener than ours. We hadn’t really planned on that. It seemed obvious that we would outsmart them, having access as it were, to prior information.

  
‘Good idea,’ Teegan said.
 
I must admit Mouche and I agreed. Our designated ‘dates’ were Ethan and Josh, then all the boys on the list would have been ‘dated’ and ‘rated’. We could (in theory) swap them around and consolidate ‘items’ and ‘love letters’.

   
By the end of the school year we would announce the ‘winner.’ The winner, being in possession of better rules and extensive guides to dating, would of course be Mouche or myself (we could also halve the gifts – but the Princesses weren’t aware of that fact. They thought we were all in it for ourselves after the initial date and rate).

Chapter 18

Dating and Rating

   
We had never seen such previously non-studious girls open a guide to algebra, let alone a guide to dating. Suddenly they dispersed, armed with a list of personal targets and one defective (in my opinion) dating guide to source and memorize in the hope that greater knowledge could also lead to an embarrassment of riches for one very smart girl.

   
In the weeks that followed, Mouche and I and the Princesses conspired to date all the guys on the list. We consolidated pages of notes about those dates, and the Princesses were compelled to write ‘truthful stuff’ (including updates and asides at the end of each chapter).
  
Some of their ideas really needed to be shared and could only be more helpful than not. We modified our ideas to form, as well as the
Boy Rating Diary
, a box of ‘items useful in New York,’ which we called our ‘treasure chest.’ We also decided to form an online site for teenage girls that could well open us up to litigation (according to Mouche); but in the interests of free-speech would become known as the anonymous ‘buyer beware site’ – how and what to avoid dating pre, post and during teen world – using our Sunrise High pre-men as prototypes. This final version of the jointly authored diary would be titled, ‘The Boy-Rating Blog.’