Princess Ces'alena (40 page)

While they loved and honored Manny, they finally came to understand the extent of his limitations. He was only a man…
one
man, at that.

Manny nodded, too choked up to say anymore…he still had Lena to face. They knew this, and began departing so that he could face her. “Don’t forget what I say. What we do, we do to protect you…and yours. Don’t forget that.” Jordan squeezed Manny in one more hug, then turned and walked out of the barn. Charles for the first time was privy to emotions that were usually displayed among Manny and his slaves…now he saw it first hand. It was quite an awakening. “Go on to the house. If you’d like to go to bed, just chose whichever room for your comfort. I have to ummm-…”

“I know. I’ll be fine.” After Charles left, Manny stood outside the barn unable to move. How could he face her? Their son was gone.

His wife, his
“legal”
wife - had sold him. He closed his eyes; the tears would not stop – he wanted to drop to his knees and weep until he was unconscious. Ever playing in his mind, was his every return that he, Mike was there to meet him, challenging him to a race. With every return home, he would be stabbed with the fact, that his son was gone! He took a deep breath, and forced his feet to move toward her cabin. Again he stopped, his stomach ached...he was afraid to face her. He turned and went to Jordan’s cabin. Jordan was sitting out on the porch when he walked up. Jean, was sitting there as well, she and Jordan had been together for some time. She stood, hugged him without a word, and then turned entering their home.

“What’s wrong?” Jordan asked. Manny stood on the steps looking at him. Besides Charles, Jordan was his closest friend…and in many ways, closer than he and Charles had ever been. Charles knew a lot about him, but as for Jordan, he knew it all – everything – to the deepest secret part of him, to his very soul. Both men matched in size, even as young boys. Jordan had been at Webster Fields since he was a boy of eight, and Manny ten. He had originally belonged to the O’Brien’s; named after Jordan Lee himself. But he had been such a rascal. Often in the company of Josephine and Manny, taking part in trouble that landed him close to a beating, so often his mama asked for him to be sent home with Manny to keep him out of Jordan Lee O’Brien’s hair. Morris had readily agreed…and brought him home with him, to Manny’s joy – to be his child-hood playmate - companion. From that moment on, he and Manny did all together…until Manny grew of age to attend college. Now Manny stood at his cabin porch, with his guts tied in a knot.

“I’m scared to death of facing her …how do I face her?” Manny finally blurted.

“The only way you can. She know you here, she know too, Mikey ain’t wit’cha. She bout waitin’ on you.”

Manny nodded, taking several breaths to calm his insides…but they were working him something awful. He looked up at Jordan one last time, took another breath and strode off. Jordan shook his head, leaning forward with his face in hands. “Jesus — why life got’ta be such hell?”

Manny stood at Lena’s door, nervous with dread; he raised his hand and knocked. A second later, Kayleen opened it - seeing her right then, was his undoing…his face crumpled. She grabbed him to her and stepped outside closing the door behind her.

“Hush darlin’ — hush.”

“Kay-leen…I can’t take it…I can’t.” He sobbed holding her. “You got to take it chile. You got to… ain’t nothing can be done, to undo it.”

“I should have never married her - why did I marry her?”

Kayleen grabbed him by the shoulders and backed him to a chair on the porch; sitting him into it. “Listen here boy. You done picked…a hard road to travel. This my fault … just as much yours…if not more. I ain’t have no business helping you to love that girl in there. You should have had her, like you did the rest…then this day, wouldn’t be.”

“Kayleen…what are you saying?”

“I’m saying… you a white man chile. You belong in the white world. Stop this mixing in our world. Stop it.”

“For a while, I sho’ thought what we had was different and real… and all our own, to do our own will. That’s just crazy nonsense. That kinda thinkin’ done brought about too much heartache and pain. Enough now…it’s enough.”

“I don’t understand?”

“Sho’ you do. You do…and after you heal, you start going the way you suppose to go. But this…this ain’t it no more…it just ain’t.”

With lost confused eyes, he stared up at her with his mind in a whirl.

“I love you boy…always will. But it’s time now to wake up…and realize, we can’t keep the world, from coming in on us. We can’t…we just can’t.” She pulled his head to her, and kissed his brow, then hugged him to her breast. She let go and walked away with squared shoulders to her cabin. There, in the privacy of it…she would face her conscience for taking part in breaking him.

Lena had been listening at the window and heard. She looked up toward the new room at the end of her cabin…where her son once slept. Her guts twisted and turned as her heart hammered. “I don’t wanna do this. Please, I don’t wanna do this. Please Lord, God – give him strength, give me strength.” She whimpered low. The tap on her door came. Both hands flew to her face trying to prepare herself. The door opened, “Lena? It’s me…” Manny warned at the door looking in carefully to locate her. She was sitting there at the table; now facing him.

Neither knew what to do, how to make the next move to get through what they had to. Gulping back moisture gathering in his mouth, Manny fought back more tears and entered. Moving slow and careful as if afraid to shift the stillness they were in, he leaned back against the closed door, and waited for himself to speak, not yet knowing what he’d say.

Lena looked down at her folded hands. Her palms were sweaty as her head spun from the over abundance of stress they were both under. The tension in the room built. She had to break the silence before she threw herself into his arms and ruined everything that was planned. All she wanted to do was wrap her arms around him and hold him, comfort him, offer him the support he so badly needed. She wanted him to know, that she loved him more now, than she ever did. Instead, she must pretend otherwise.

Manny clenched his fist behind him. “I - I won’t give up Lena. I’ll find him, God as my witness I will!” He declared passionately. Moving from the door and dropping to his knees before her, he took her hands in his.

Lena snatched them back quickly and stood, walking around him and away. She crossed the room to the partition. She couldn’t let him touch her. It was vital to her resolve to go through with it to protect their newborn daughter…their Hope.

Her actions shocked him; then scared him. “Lena?” He called to her softly, and turned to stand by the table, looking at her back. “Please, talk to me. Don’t shut me out.”

“What is there to say? My son is gone…chained and shackled like an…echmm, like an animal. Being sold…and - less valued than a steer or a horse. What is there to say? He’s a slave - born of a slave. What more is there to say…absolutely nothing, there’s nothing left for-…”

“My God?! Please, don’t say that! Why are you saying these things to me?! Why are you being so cold?!”

She gripped one of the partition posts so tightly it hurt.
‘Think about Hope Lena! Think about Hope! You wanna lose her too!? See her being snatched away as well?! Don’t you give in! Don’t you dare give in!’
Over and over she focused on those words; she could feel herself choking up. Out of fear of weakening, she rushed herself. “Cold Manny? If only that were true! Then this ache in my heart would not be! I hurt Manny…for so many reasons. I hurt because now, well - there’s nothing left for us…nothing-…”

“I said let go of me! Nooow!” She twisted herself out of his hands. “Look! Don’t you understand?! This happened for a reason?! To wake me up! I’m getting only what I deserve for believing – for – it was to show me, we can never be happy together!”

She turned away, unable to look at him.
‘Oh my God…help me to do this! I have to do this!’
Her heart banged so hard in her chest it hurt. “I need you to leave now. Please, just leave me.”

“No! Hell no, I’m not going anywhere until we talk this out. Look at me!” He begged. She turned to him, using his anger to fuel her, and coldly stated. “Don’t you understand, there’s nothing for us to work-out! What’s happening between us now was going to happen anyway, Mikey here or not!”

That sent him back, a look of confusion and incredulity etched on his face. “What are you talking about?”

Tears gathered in her eyes and she looked away from him. “When you and Katherine married, you let me go. Remember what you told me that night?”

He was frozen, unable to move.

“Well - well,
-(‘Hurry Lena, hurry before you lose your nerve.’
)- you - you told me I was free…to find someone else. Well I did - at first it was because I was so lonely and we just spent time together talking. But then, one thing led to another.” She lied. “Annnd - things happened. I tried to break it off with him but I couldn’t hurt him that way, so - so we continued on. The last time was right after you - you returned.”

Manny felt his heart squeezing in his chest. His ears were ringing as sweat covered his body instantly. “I don’t believe you. You wouldn’t-…” He shook his head in denial. “I didn’t want to…but you were gone, married and I was so alone.”

“No…no - after all we’ve been through? You wouldn’t…I know you wouldn’t!” He argued. “You’re wrong. I wish it weren’t so…but there’s no way now for me to deny it, nor ignore it. And as you’ll see, neither will you - be able to deny it.”

“What in hell does that mean!?”

“If things had turned out differently there might have been a chance for us. I didn’t -
want
to hurt you. It’s something I would have taken to my grave, only…”

“What!?”

“Why must you make me say it?! Can you not see how hard this is for me?!!” Lena shouted, feeling as though her chest would collapse from the pain.

Manny stood still unable to say another word. Looking at her nervous movements, things began to dawn on him. She was no longer with child. And not once had she mentioned the child. His eyes widened in shock, he looked towards the new rooms, then back to her. She covered her mouth and began sobbing. He charged past her towards the baby’s room. “Manny wait!!” She screamed, wishing she could take it all back. Everything…the look on his face was going to be her undoing.

He stood over the cradle in the dim light from the lamp almost afraid to look. Slowly he reached down and pulled the blanket back. Lena had come to the door still trying to hold back the pain, trying to fight down the threat of hysteria. She felt as if she were being stabbed repeatedly by a dull knife, having to hurt him as she was. Her entire world was crumbling down around her.

“Manny…I’m sorry…so sorry.”

He would not understand the double meaning of those words. He was too busy struggling for his next breath; his vision blurring from the flood of tears spilling over onto his cheeks. He felt as if someone had caught him by surprise and punched him square in the stomach. His fingers parted and the blanket fell back to the sleeping babe.

He couldn’t breathe, suddenly he felt he was being suffocated, as if drowning in a sea of events which would kill him. He turned and barreled through the door knocking Lena aside as she stumbled back falling over the chaise lounge to the floor. He flew through the cabin snatching her door wide and ran blindly into the night.

Lena pulled her legs up and curled them under her as she leaned on the chaise lounge, bawling her eyes to swelling. Her body shook hard as she sobbed afraid she’d never catch her breath.

Kayleen’s plan worked. Mazie’s son was swapped for Lena’s and Manny’s child. Mazie had been hard to convince afraid that her child could get hurt in the plot but Kayleen and Ma’ Nicey talked her into it with the help of Ruby, re-assuring her, that Manny would never hurt the child. She gave in after they pleaded with her. Now it was over and Hope remained unknown to all who might be the cause of her being harmed or taken away.

Her father included…they all did what they had to do.

Charles was standing on the front porch considering riding back into town. He figured Manny would probably be with Lena the rest of the night. A second later he heard the sound of a horses hooves pounding up the lane, and then saw Manny ride past at breakneck speed. He stood confused.

“What the hell?!”

He came down off the porch, but Manny was quickly out of sight. He sprinted around the mansion with his eyebrows drawn through bafflement, running for Lena’s cabin. He leapt onto her porch to find the door wide open; her sobs loud and heart breaking. Stepping through the cabin he couldn’t help notice the rich décor.

Coming to the chaise, he stood over her. “What has happened here? Why did Manny leave the way he did?”

She looked up at him unable to answer. He helped her up from the floor onto the chaise, and then turned hearing the wailing baby in the other room. He entered there going to the basinet, checking to make sure it was alright and then backed away shocked by what he saw. With his heart pounding he backed away horrified, turning he stepped back through the door and looked down at her. Fury shot through him to almost choking. “My God!! What have you done to him!?!” He ran up to her, pulled her up by the upper arms and began shaking her.