Private Indiscretions (4 page)

“I wasn't expecting anything of you tonight,” she said. “Just to share a glass of wine and some conversation. Work consumes me. I wanted a little time away from it with an old friend. I didn't mean to put you on the spot.”

She sounded lonely. He understood loneliness. And because he was only human, he brushed his fingertips down her cheek, although whether for him or for her, he wasn't sure. A little sound came from her, sexier than any he'd ever heard in bed.

He walked away. She followed.

“You don't have to walk me to my car,” he muttered over his shoulder, frustrated now.

He heard her stop walking for a second, then continue at a more leisurely pace.

“I'm getting my mail,” she said, a little lilt to her voice.

“You get your own mail?”

“My housekeeper was off today.”

He liked the self-protective arrogance in her voice. He pushed the remote unlock button for the car. “Nice house, by the way.”

“Nice car. Is it yours?”

“Yes.”

“You don't have to sound so defensive. You don't live in San Francisco and you're flying back to L.A. tonight. Logic says it's a rental.”

“A Mercedes?” He climbed inside knowing he'd spend the rest of the night analyzing their conversation. “See you, Senator.”

Moving closer to the car, she continued to eye it spec
ulatively. “Were you… Is this what you were driving at the reunion?”

“Yes.”

“You—” She stopped. “Did you guard my parents' house after the reunion, Sam?”

Distracted by the breast-level view, he hesitated a few seconds before answering. “Why would I do that?”

“Answering a question with a question doesn't work with me.” She turned those dark eyes on him then, not with humor this time. “If you're leaving your car at the airport, you're coming back to the city.”

“I have business here.”

“When will you be back?”

“Tomorrow night.” He started the car, ending the conversation, ending what might have become a relationship that mattered.

I can't be seen with you and you can't be seen with me. It's that simple.

He watched her in his rearview mirror as he pulled away. She didn't move except to cross her arms. He'd bet she was giving him hell. And damned if he didn't deserve it.

 

“Well,” Dana said as the gate closed. “That was fun.”

She heard the sarcasm in her voice, felt her face heat up and her pulse thunder.

It
had
been fun, she realized. More fun than she'd had in a long time.

People rarely argued with her anymore. Debated, yes, but nothing with fire behind it, at least not personal fire. There'd been heat between her and Sam. Lots of it. She welcomed the warmth as it settled in parts of her body she'd thought frozen.

Dana walked down the driveway to the mailbox, wondering why she bothered, except that she'd told Sam she was going to. She rarely got personal mail at home. Almost everything came to the office or was transmitted by e-mail or fax. Few people knew this address.

So how did Sam know?

Dana retrieved her Occupant mail from the box that was mounted to the iron fence and headed back to the house, resignation settling in. He'd planned his visit tonight to be short. He'd taken advantage of his flight to L.A. to stop by with a narrow time frame. If he'd wanted to spend time with her, he could have made plans to see her when he got back instead of tonight. What difference would a day or two make?

She locked the house, set the alarm, blew out the candles in the living room and grabbed the bottle of Chardonnay to return to the refrigerator.

The house seemed quieter than usual as she climbed the staircase. She no longer missed Randall's presence the way she had when he first died. She'd gotten used to coming home by herself. She hated it, but she was used to it.

She stopped in her bedroom doorway and stared at the briefcase she'd flung onto the bed, the same bed she'd shared with Randall. She hadn't changed anything, hadn't had time or interest. She felt a sudden need to redecorate, to make it hers, a lighter, airier look instead of the heavy masculine style.

She tossed the mail on top of the bed as she headed for her closet, where she changed into cotton pajamas, then climbed into bed and dragged her briefcase into her lap. Everything inside her churned.

The phone rang. She hated the hope that rose before she could tamp it down. It couldn't be Sam, and she knew it.

“Hello?”

“Hey, pal. How're you doing?”

She hid her disappointment. “Lilith, hi. I'm worn out but the worst is over. I'm pretty sure that every network and wire service has a quote by now. How are you feeling?”

“Fat.”

Dana laughed, as she was supposed to, but she envied Lilith her pregnancy, her happy and full life with a husband
who adored her and work that satisfied her. “This too shall pass.”

“I'm an elephant. I'm sure this is month twenty-two of my pregnancy.”

“You look beautiful. Jonathan undoubtedly tells you every day.”

“I also look in the mirror every day. Listen, Jonathan and I would like you to come to dinner tomorrow night. Just a small group, six or eight, depending on who's available on such short notice.”

“Any single men?”

“One, but it's not a setup,” she rushed to add. “He's—”

“It's okay, Lilith. Really. I'm ready.” She had to do something with her newly resurrected feelings, and Sam wasn't interested. A little flirtation might be a good thing.

“That's a change.”

“I know. It'll be two and a half years next week. I can't survive on work alone, as much as I love it.”

“Does that mean I can officially start sending men your way?”

“You mean you were telling the truth when you said tomorrow night wasn't an unofficial date?”

“Well, not exactly. But there are other men besides this one, Dana. Interesting, intelligent, emotionally secure men.”

More interesting than Sam? “Okay.”

“It's going to take a while for me to get used to hearing you say that. Um, I take it you didn't listen to the show today.”

“I didn't have time, why?”

“Harley called in to the program.”

Dana let that news sink in. Lilith hosted a Monday-through-Friday, commute-time, radio-advice show,
Dr. Lilith.
Her Ph.D. in psychology qualified her; her warm but no-nonsense personality made her a success, even though she was an ultraconservative living in a predominantly liberal city.

“Something tells me he wasn't looking for advice on his sex life,” Dana said. “Although he probably needs it.”

“Meow.”

Dana smiled. “Did he identify himself?”

“Of course not. Coward that he is, he got on the air by telling my producer he had a question about how to help a woman lose her frigidity.”

“He said that?”

“Those words exactly. I started to ask him for more specifics, when he said that surely I knew who he was talking about—the princess of Prospector High School. Anyway, I'll send over a tape to your office so you can hear it. He didn't name you, but your bio says you graduated from there.”

“How'd you shut him down?”

“You'll hear the tape. Dana, I don't think he's done. His ego is black and blue, and he's an eye-for-an-eye man. Usually his money and power get him what he wants. You weren't impressed. He doesn't like that.”

Lilith wasn't aware of what had happened between Dana and Harley years ago, only that they'd had a confrontation. Sam knew because he'd been involved, but Dana hadn't told anyone else except her parents, not even Randall. Like Sam, she buried bad memories.

“Thanks for the warning,” Dana said. “I'll think about how to handle it.”

“Good. Can you be at our house by seven tomorrow night?”

“If I can't get away that early, I'll let you know. As of now, it looks okay.”

They said their goodbyes.

Dana tried to work. She needed to review two reports her staff had put together before her meetings tomorrow but her eyes kept closing. Useless, she decided. Better to get some sleep and get up an hour earlier in the morning.

She set her alarm for 4:00 a.m. then shoved her briefcase and paperwork to the other side of the bed. She would have
turned out the light except that her gaze landed on an envelope sandwiched between an L.L.Bean catalog and a supermarket ad.

She slid it free. The envelope had weight and texture much like a wedding invitation, yet no return address, just her name and address, typed in a calligraphy-style font, fancy and hard to read. A San Francisco postmark. Most people addressed her mail as Senator or The Honorable. On this envelope her name bore no title of any kind, not even Ms. She opened the flap, unfolded the single sheet of cream-colored vellum.

If you run for reelection, I'll make public everything I know about your
saintly
late husband.

I
t was 3:00 a.m. before Sam arrived at his Santa Monica home, his mood as black as the sky. First, he'd forgotten about the valedictorian medal in his pocket until he set off the airport metal detector. Then the flight was delayed over an hour because of mechanical problems. After that, the car service didn't show to pick him up and he had to take a cab home.

As he paid the driver, he counted four newspapers scattered in his driveway, even though his neighbor had promised to pick them up daily. He dragged a hand down his face. One more thing to do before he flew back to San Francisco tomorrow night—cancel the paper. He was on the road too much now, anyway.

He punched his code into the keyless entry panel then felt the cool welcome of home, his first real home, a 1920s Craftsman that suited his needs perfectly. Newly renovated and true to the original architectural style, the house had tugged at him from the first moment he saw it. The fact he
could afford it still made him shake his head in wonder. The simple mission-style furniture was complemented by soothing Asian undertones and accent pieces he'd picked up in his travels. It would do until he could build the house of his dreams. He'd already designed it.

Sam detoured into his office on the way to the bedroom. The message light on his answering machine flashed. He pressed the Playback button.

“Hello, Sam, dear, it's Rosa Giannini. I'm sorry to tell you that Ernie passed away this evening. One minute he was talking to me, then he closed his eyes and he was gone…. I'm trying to convince myself he's in a better place, free of pain, but it's…hard.”

Sam squeezed his eyes shut at the catch in her voice and the grief-filled pause that followed.

“The services will be on Saturday,” Rosa continued. “I understand if you can't make it, though. He was so glad you came to see him last weekend. He loved you so much, Sam.” She was quiet a moment, then, “You probably think he was the one doing you favors through the years, but he needed you as much as you needed him. You were a blessing in his life, in our lives. I hope you know you'll always be welcome here.”

Again a pause. Sam stared at the ceiling and swallowed hard against the ache in his throat.

“Don't send flowers, dear. Do something that would make Ernie smile. You already made him proud. Stay in touch.”

The scent of cherry pipe tobacco seemed to fill the room. Sam closed his eyes and saw his friend. Sweater vests and bow ties and shirts that lost their starch before the lunch bell. A fringe of salt-and-pepper hair that gave him an impish-monk look, especially when added to the Santa Claus belly. Sam heard his mentor's dry chuckle, felt a grip on his shoulder, a squeeze of encouragement.

How could he attend the funeral of the man he'd wished a thousand times was his father? How could he wear his
grief openly for the person who'd made him believe in himself?

He would send flowers, though, because he'd learned that simple things helped those left behind. And for himself as well as Rosa he would do something that would make his old friend smile.

After another minute Sam's bed beckoned, singing its siren song to his weary body and soul. His training wouldn't let him go to bed without hanging up his suit and putting the rest of his clothes in the hamper. He slid under the sheets finally, closed his eyes and lay there for a few seconds before tossing the bedding aside and going to the closet. When he returned it was with his medal in hand.

He'd earned it because of Ernest Giannini, then had turned his back on the honor, which was like turning his back on his teacher, diminishing, if not discounting, its—and his—importance.

The medal meant something, Sam realized. He'd told Dana otherwise, but now he knew differently.

He gripped it hard, felt it heat his hand and the edge dig into his palm.

He needed to thank Dana for keeping the medal for him, for making him take it back. He'd not only been ungrateful but rude.

He returned to his closet and came out with a small wooden chest, which he placed on his bed. He hesitated before opening the lid, as if the contents of Pandora's box would fly out. Finally he pushed the lid up. Inside were ragged pieces of lined notebook paper torn into squares with words penciled on them, front and back. A question from him on one side, an answer from Dana on the other.

He sifted through them, remembering. Their competition to be class valedictorian had started in ninth grade when teachers began to notice how often they asked and answered questions in class. Soon they were competing for the top scores on tests and papers, encouraged by their teachers. They ran neck and neck for all four years. It had
come down to the last semester. He'd gotten an A in math; she'd gotten an A minus. That was difference. The only difference.

Sam pulled a piece of paper from the box. Outside the classroom they would write questions down and slip them into each other's locker. He'd kept them all. Not just academic questions like, “What does Moby Dick represent?” but life questions and riddles and puzzles.

He looked at the one he'd grabbed.

Question: “Why did the punk rocker cross the road?”

Answer: “He was stapled to the chicken.”

Sam smiled, then he remembered the one that had changed the tone of their questions. “Do you think Marsha Crandall is sexy?” she'd asked, referring to a classmate. It was the first time she'd asked a provocative question. “I told her as much just the other night,” he answered, teasing, lying.

Dana had snubbed him for three days after that, but eventually it led to many more provocative questions, a flirtation on paper, although they still didn't talk outside of class much, and usually only about a project or paper. But she always looked at him expectantly, as if waiting for him to make some kind of move. He didn't have any moves to make. He wouldn't have known a move if it stood naked in front of him and waved its arms.

And now he needed to write her a note, thanking her for keeping the medal. Thank-you notes weren't his forte. He offered thanks in person, or he sent flowers or wine or something else appropriate for the favor.

What does one give the woman who has everything?

 

The next night Dana pulled in to her driveway after dinner at Lilith's. She'd made it through the day and evening without showing the letter to anyone. Threats were nothing new, although she'd never gotten one quite like this.

If you run for reelection, I'll make public everything I know about your
saintly
late husband.

Randall had been in the public eye all his life. What was there to tell? Why the emphasis on “saintly”?

She should turn the note over to her chief of staff, who would make a decision about whether to take it seriously, but something stopped her. If it had been a threat to expose
her
for past deeds, she would have let the blackmailer dig. There was nothing to find, nothing shocking or newsworthy, anyway.

But this was Randall's reputation. She would guard it with her life—and her political career. Still, did one letter necessitate an investigation?

Dana felt a brush of fabric against her calves as she walked from her garage into the house. She'd gone straight from work to Lilith's after changing into something feminine and flattering at the office. The evening turned out to be lovely, her “date” a patent attorney, newly divorced and attentive, and entirely too agreeable. Lilith was known for throwing parties that inspired great debates long into the evening. She and her husband may be conservative, but they knew the value of cultivating people of varying convictions.

Tonight hadn't been any different, and yet it had been. The mix of people wasn't as diverse. Dana could also see that Lilith wasn't feeling well. They'd gone into her office to look at the birth announcements she'd already started designing on her computer, which was the only excuse Dana could think of for getting Lilith alone for a few minutes.

“You crafty person,” Dana said, admiring the design. “I don't know how you find the time.”

“When it's fun, you make the time.”

Dana settled a hand on her friend's shoulder and looked closely at her. “You don't seem yourself tonight. Are you doing too much?”

Lilith laid a protective hand on her belly. “Braxton Hicks,” she said, as if Dana was supposed to know what
that meant. Lilith explained that they were contractions, but not the kind indicating imminent birth, just discomfort.

Because Lilith wasn't up to par everyone agreed to make it an early evening, which was fine with Dana. The patent attorney asked if he could call her, and she'd given him her office number then headed home.

When she heard the television on in her housekeeper's room, she knocked on the door and waited. Hilda would never call out for her to enter but would come to the door, wearing her pristine white chenille robe like a suit of armor. She'd been with Randall's family forever and was in no hurry to stop working, even though she was eligible for social security and Medicare. She also believed in a strict employer/employee relationship, much to Dana's disappointment. She could have used a friendly face around the house in the months after Randall died.

“Good evening, ma'am,” Hilda said.

“Hi. How were your days off with your daughter and grandchildren?”

“Fine, thank you. How was your evening at the Pauls'?”

“Very nice.”
Invite me in. Let's open a bottle of wine, and talk.
“Any messages?”
Did Randall have secrets?

“I heard your private line ring, but no one called otherwise.”

Her tone wasn't hostile or condescending, but efficient. Dana stifled a sigh. “Thank you, Hilda. Good night.”

Mission not accomplished, but she would keep trying. One day she'd get past Hilda's reserve.

In the foyer Dana touched the small stack of mail, hesitated, then flipped through it. Nothing but ads. She blew out a little breath before climbing the stairs. She plopped onto her bed, pushed the message button on her answering machine and began unbuttoning her dress.

“Hello, dear.” Her mother. “Dad and I are having too much fun. We're staying an extra week in Orlando before we hit the road. Talk to you soon. We love you.”

“Senator, it's Amanda.” Her press secretary. “I need a
meeting with you first thing in the morning, if that's possible. If not, please let me know. Otherwise I'll be there at eight. Thanks.”

“Hi, Dana, this is Candi. I'm sorry to leave this on your machine but Mr. G. passed away. I knew you'd want to know. The funeral's on Saturday. Mrs. Giannini would like you to say a few words, if you plan to come. Let me know, okay?”

Dana recalled Mr. G. fondly but more as her father's friend than as a teacher. She wondered if her parents would alter their plans to be home in time for the funeral. They would have to drive their motor home straight through.

“Dana, it's Sam Remington.”

She'd just slipped her dress off her shoulders, exposing one of the new bras she'd spent her lunch hour purchasing in a rare moment of indulgence—sexy bras, panties and a couple of negligees—even though Sam had made it clear he wasn't going to contact her again.

“It's 8:10,” he continued, his voice alone causing her body to react. Oh, she had it bad for him. “I'm at LAX, headed back to San Francisco. If you could give me a call sometime, I'd appreciate it. Thanks.”

He wanted her to call? After the way he'd left the other night? Shock fought with hope in her mind. She looked at the clock—ten-fifteen. He was probably en route, which meant she had to wait until morning to return the call.

Or, if she waited half an hour, she might catch him before he went to bed.

She got ready for bed expectantly, even looking forward to filling the time with a budget analysis for a meeting the next day. A half hour later she dragged the phone into her lap then dialed his cell number. Her skin felt prickly, her breath short.

“Sam Remington.”

“Hi, it's Dana.”

“I didn't mean you had to call tonight, Senator.”

“I'm still up working. Where are you?”

“In my car. Not far from my hotel.”

“Would you rather call me back when you get there?”

“Why?”

“So that you don't have to drive and talk at the same time.”

“I find that mildly insulting,” he said, a smile in his voice.

She wedged her shoulders into her pillows and relaxed. “Do you know how many accidents are caused by people on cell phones?”

“How many?”

She grinned at the ceiling. “I don't remember exactly, Brainiac, but a lot.”

“Get back to me with the statistics and we'll talk about it.”

“I'll do that.” A promise was a promise. “How was your trip?”

“Quick.”

She wished he would elaborate. “Candi left a message tonight that Mr. G. died.”

A beat of silence, then, “I heard.”

That surprised her. “The services are on Saturday. Are you going?”

“I'm not sure.”

“Oh.” She'd thought they could go together. She wrapped the phone cord around her finger, wishing he would tell her why he wanted to see her, but he said nothing. “So, what was your message about? Why do you want to meet with me?”

“I have something to give you. If tomorrow after work suits you, I can stop by.”

“Sure. Should I call you when I'm leaving my office? It'll be after six, I imagine, and before eight.”

“That'll work.”

“Sam?” she said in a hurry, afraid he would hang up. “Why did you come to the reunion?”

“To see you.”

Her heart lurched.
To see me? Just to see me?
“How did you know I would be there?”

“Have you missed a reunion yet?”

His tone of voice indicated it was a rhetorical question, but she answered anyway. “No.”