Privilege 5 - Pure Sin (12 page)

Ariana slipped her arm around Lexa's and shuffled her toward her room. Tahira went down the hall to Lexa's room and let herself in. As soon as the she was gone, Ariana quickened her steps, got to her room, and closed the door behind her and Lexa.

"Lex, I'm going to give you something to help you sleep," she said. She walked to her desk and extracted the small, orange bottle from the very back. Shaking out a couple of Valiums, she fumbled inside her mini-fridge for a bottle of water. "Here."

"What is it?" Lexa asked, narrowing her eyes as she gazed at the small pills in Ariana's palm.

"Just a little Valium so you can rest," Ariana told her, dumping the pills into Lexa's hand. "Y need your sleep, right? Y mother said so, you

ou our said so. This is going to make you feel so much better."

"Okay," Lexa said. "I could really use some sleep."

Then she popped the pills into her mouth and reached for the bottle of water. After a few quick slugs, she slumped a bit, her eyes closing halfway.

"See? You're so tired," Ariana said. "Why don't you lie down?"

Lexa nodded twice, slowly. She started to sit down on Kaitlynn's bed, but halfway there, her eyes flew open, and she popped up again, as if zapped by an electric shock.

"That's her bed. I can't sleep in her bed. I can't. I can't, Ana. I can't!"

Ariana gritted her teeth and said a quick prayer for patience. "Okay! It's okay!" she said to Lexa, gently taking her arm. "Y don't have to. Y

ou ou can sleep in my bed."

The moment the words were out of her mouth, Lexa calmed down again. Ariana led her across the small room to the bed on the opposite side. Lexa lay down, resting her head on Ariana's custom pillow. In about two seconds her eyes were closed, and ten seconds after that, she was snoring. Ariana knew that the Valium hadn't had time to kick in, but she was sure that Lexa was exhausted. Maybe she'd just needed a little prodding to get to sleep. And once the Valium did kick in, it would keep her asleep. Maybe it would even make her feel more rested--more like herself--in the morning.

At least Ariana hoped it would. Because she wasn't sure how much more of this particular Lexa she could take. What am I going to do? What am I going to do?

Ariana glanced over at her bed, where Lexa snored deeply. Then her eyes trailed to her desk drawer. Inside were her many bankbooks. The keys to several safety deposit boxes that held untold millions' worth of jewels. And the copy of her birth certificate. Her Emma Walsh birth certificate, the original of which was already in the mail to the passport agency with her rush order for a new passport. Ariana didn't want to run. She'd created a life for herself here. A life she treasured.

But she would run. If she had to.

Taking a deep breath, Ariana turned and looked up at the ceiling again. She tried to imagine up a new life for herself. A life as Emma Walsh. Where would she go? If Lexa broke her silence and compromised her Briana Leigh identity, Ariana wouldn't be able to flee to any of Briana Leigh's homes. But if she was able to get back to Texas and grab the jewels, she could sell them for enough cash to open a significant account under her new name and then . . . then she could choose her country, choose her new home.

Ariana's heart thumped. She clasped her chenille blanket--the one that was usually tossed at the bottom of her bed for decoration and did not lend much warmth--closer to her chest. Suddenly she felt overwhelmed by a yawning sense of loneliness. The great, wide world spread out before her, full of strangers, void of friends. After all she'd been through, would she really have to start all over again? Would she really have to say good- bye to everything--and everyone--she'd come to love?

There was a creak, and Ariana's head popped up off the pillow. Her door slowly opened, and a booted foot stepped into the room. Ariana's chest constricted, and she sat up straight, lunging for the lamp on Kaitlynn's desk. Her fingers had just closed around the cold brass stand when Jasper's blond hair came into view.

He looked at Ariana's bed in confusion, then his eyes darted across the room and fell on her. Suddenly Ariana realized she must look pretty ridiculous sitting in an almost bare bed, her toes exposed, as she clutched a blanket and a lamp like a crazy paranoid person.

"What are you doing?" they both whispered in unison.

Ariana rolled her eyes, replaced the lamp, and flung her blanket aside. Lexa gave a loud snort and rolled over onto her side. For a split second, both Ariana and Jasper froze. Then the cadence of Lexa's breath returned to normal. Ariana tiptoed across the room, grabbed Jasper by the wrist, and pulled him out into the hall. His skin was cold, and his breath was shallow and ragged, as if he'd just run up the stairs and was trying to hide the effects.

"Why is Lexa sleeping in your bed?" Jasper asked.

"Why are you sneaking into my room?" Ariana demanded.

Her own heartbeat was still normalizing after the fright he'd given her. She looked up and down the hall, which, since it was three in the morning, was blissfully quiet.

Jasper smirked and leaned back against the wall. He wore dark blue jeans and a gray crewneck sweater, and his cheeks were ruddy, as if he'd just come in from outside. No wonder his skin was frigid to the touch. What was he doing outside in the middle of the night? He looked her flannel pajamas up and down, and her face burned as he took in the colorful polka dots.

"Nice jammies."

Ariana crossed her arms over her chest self-consciously. "Jasper--"

"I wanted to see how your date went," he said matter-of-factly.

Ariana's eyes darted to the floor, as the irritation, humiliation, and boredom of the night washed over her anew. She still couldn't believe how narrow-minded Palmer was.

"It went fine, thanks," she replied.

"That good, huh?" he joked.

Ariana had had just about enough of this. All this flirting. This coyness. This childishness. It might have been cute a week ago, but now things had changed. Now, with the potential end of this world looming, she didn't have time for such things. She looked up again, looked Jasper in the eye, and felt suddenly desperate. Desperate for some honest, straightforward truth.

"Jasper," she said firmly, "what are you really doing here?"

The smile fell from his face. His eyes grew serious.

"Seizing the moment," Jasper said. He reached up and touched her lips with his thumb, cupping his other fingers around her chin. Ariana froze, feeling his touch in every inch of her body. Her heart pounded in her ears.

"Jasper," she whispered harshly.

"Just shut up," he said.

And then he kissed her. "Lexa, where are you going?"

Everyone at the lunch table looked at Ariana, who realized with an embarrassed pang that she had maybe blurted that question a tad too loudly. Lexa paused, half out of her chair at the head of the table.

"To the bathroom," she said flatly.

Ariana shoved her chair back. "I'll come with you."

She dropped her sandwich, placed her napkin alongside her plate, and got up. She hadn't let Lexa out of her sight for a second all day. She just couldn't risk it. Not until she made sure the girl was stable. Or decided what, exactly, to do if she wasn't.

As Ariana followed Lexa to the end of the table and out into the aisle, all she could think about was the fact that the crazy behavior had to stop. She didn't want to forge a new life for herself. She wanted to live this one.

Even if it didn't come to that--even if Lexa never mentioned a word about Kaitlynn, even if her ramblings continued to be nonspecific, they had to stop. Because one more nonspecific public rambling was going to get her ousted as president of Stone and Grave. And Ariana couldn't have that. She wasn't sure what she wanted to use Lexa's power for yet, but she knew it was going to come in handy one day. It would be nice if she had some time to figure out how.

"So, you had Ferren for English last year, right?" Ariana asked as the two girls made their way around chair legs and tossed backpacks.

"God. Don't remind me," Lexa replied, rolling her eyes.

"I know! She really likes to have a lot of grades in before the end of the term."

"Seriously," Lexa said, hugging herself. "It's like the first half of the semester there's barely any work, and then she suddenly starts piling it on."

"At least she assigns good books," Ariana said. Small talk was so very normal. So very not crazy. "There's not one I haven't enjoyed reading."

Lexa shoved open the swinging door that led to the lobby and the bathrooms beyond. She held it so that Ariana could walk through first "Right. But it doesn't matter if you like them or not. What matters is whether or not you can remember every character and their motivation."

"Is that what the test will be about?" Ariana asked, following Lexa over to the bathroom.

"Y Trust me. Make a character list, and write down exactly why each one of them did what they did. It's the best way to study." She started into

ep. the bathroom, but paused. "Oh, and make sure you get the spellings right. She'll dock you points for misspellings."

"Noted," Ariana said.

At that moment, the side door to the building swung open, and Jasper walked in. Ariana's heart skipped an excited, anticipatory beat, but it was quickly extinguished by guilt. The kissing the night before . . . it had been amazing. But it had also been wrong. Very wrong. She was with Palmer. And Ariana was a lot of things, but she'd never been a cheater.

Ariana glanced at Lexa, who waited just inside the bathroom. Part of her hesitated, not wanting to leave Lexa alone for even a second. But the bathroom appeared empty, and Jasper was sauntering toward her.

Lexa couldn't spontaneously confess to anyone in the bathroom if there was no one to spontaneously confess to, right?

"I'll be in in a sec," she told Lexa.

"Okay." Lexa let the door close, and Ariana turned to face Jasper.

"Hey," he said, pausing in front of her with a smile. This time it wasn't sly, but comfortable. As if he was settling in because he now knew where he stood. Which just made her feel even guiltier, this time over what she was about to do to him.

"Hey," she said tentatively.

"So listen, I've been thinking about your double date last night," Jasper said.

Ariana blinked. That was unexpected.

"And you know what I think?" He tilted his head, one hand in the pocket of his slacks.

"Um, what?" Ariana asked, taken off guard.

He took a step, closing the gap between them, reached out, and fingered the lapel on her APH blazer, rubbing the fabric between his fingertips. Ariana suddenly found herself breathless. "I think that tonight you should meet up with me. Because I . . . will show you a good time. Unlike some people."

Ariana glanced toward the heavy wooden doors that separated her and Jasper from the dozens of people in the dining hall. If that door opened, someone would see. Someone would catch her and Jasper standing so close together their breath was mingling. And just like that, her relationship with Palmer would be over.

For one terrifying moment, a piece of her actually wished it would just happen. Wished the doors would open and the end result would be out of her hands.

And the fact that she wished it would happen--the fact that she wished, in that moment, for a lack of control--was what scared her. Jasper brought that out in her. Just as Thomas had. She couldn't do that to herself again. And she couldn't do it to Palmer either.

"I can't," she said, taking a step backward. "I have a study date with Palmer."

Jasper's face fell ever so briefly, and then he smiled. "Okay," he said. "If that's how you really want to spend your time. But just so you know, I don't have a date with anyone. And if you want me, I'll be waiting." Ariana knew that she had to keep an eye on Lexa, but she drew the line at inviting her along on her study date with Palmer. A foursome had been fine, but a threesome would be nothing but awkward. Which meant there was only one thing for her to do.

She needed to find a babysitter.

Which was why she left her government class five minutes early, had Quinn meet her with a latte and a coffee with sugar, and positioned herself outside Conrad's calculus classroom two seconds before the bell rang. Lexa seemed to be herself around Conrad, for the most part, as long as they were one on one and not surrounded by a crowd. Ariana wasn't sure if Conrad's presence calmed the girl or if she was working hard to impress him, but it didn't matter. She knew she would feel safe if Lexa spent the night alone with her boyfriend.

"Hey, Connie!"

Ariana stepped forward the moment his broad shoulders filled the doorway. He paused and gave her a confused smile. "Hey, Ana. What're you doing here?"

"I left class early for a caffeine fix because I was falling asleep, but the guy at the Hill gave me the wrong cup and I had to reorder," Ariana lied smoothly. "He was going to dump it out, but then I remembered you like black coffee with light sugar, right?"

She held the cup out to him with a beatific smile.

"Wow," he said, accepting it. "Good memory. Thanks."

Ariana lifted a shoulder and kept her eyes on him as she sipped her latte. "I pay attention to details."

The rest of the class was parting around the two of them as they stood right in front of the door. Ariana caught a couple of curious glances from April and Christian, but they kept walking.

"So, got any plans for tonight?" Ariana asked. She turned and started slowly down the hallway, and Connie fell into step with her.

"Not really," Connie said with a shrug. "Probably just studying. Why?"

"Oh, nothing, it's just . . . I think Lexa could use some quality boyfriend time," Ariana said. "If you're not doing anything, maybe you guys could go out."

Conrad paused at the top of the stairs, stepping aside to let a couple of teachers pass them by.

"Did she say something to you?" Conrad asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

"No, just . . . like I said, I pay attention to details," Ariana replied. "She's been down lately, and I just know that being with you makes her happy."