Profiler (Fang Mu Eastern Crimes Series Book 1) (35 page)

Looking into Meng Fanzhe's dull eyes, Fang Mu did his best to understand what he had just said.

"What do you mean, 'rely on him'?" He shook Meng Fanzhe's shoulders. "Come on, speak!"

Fang Mu's actions caused Meng Fanzhe's body to sway violently, and he seemed to become much more lucid.

"I don't know, I don't know!" he cried, roughly wiping his mouth. When he saw that his hand was covered in blood and cat hair, he grew so frightened that he immediately tried to rub his face clean, but all he did was smear himself with blood.

"What exactly is going on?" asked Fang Mu in a low voice. He caught Meng Fanzhe's hand and held it tightly.

Only then did Meng Fanzhe seem to realize that it was Fang Mu standing before him. "Is that you, Fang Mu?" His body went limp at once. Tears streamed from his eyes and mucus dripped from his nose. "Help me, help me, please. I don't know what I've done; it's like I was dreaming…"

Fang Mu put his hands under Meng Fanzhe's armpits for support and did his best to hold him up.

"I will, I will help you. Now tell me, what is going on?"

Meng Fanzhe's gaze went to the sink. At once his senses seemed to return. Shaking with fear, he pointed at Tom's remains. "I didn't do it, I didn't do it…it wasn't intentional…"

He leapt at Fang Mu and grabbed at his collar, his eyes full of fear and desperation. "Don't tell anyone," he entreated. "Please don't tell anyone. I'm not crazy... I didn't mean to do it. I didn't mean to. I'm not crazy…"

He pushed Fang Mu away, shot toward the sink and picked up the bloody flesh and fur. He looked all around, his mouth still moving nonstop. "Gotta take care of this now. Can't let anyone else see…gotta take care of this now, now, now!" He spun around in place, looking wildly for somewhere to put his cat's remains.

Fang Mu was so disturbed by all this that for a moment he had no idea what to do. At last he picked up the big plastic trash can from the doorway – normally used for throwing out leftover food – and signaled for Meng Fanzhe to put the remains in there.

Meng Fanzhe forced Tom's skeleton into the dirty water at the bottom of the trash can. He then ran into one of the stalls, grabbed the wastepaper bucket and dumped its contents in on top. Next he hurried to the sink, turned on the tap, and let the water wash away the bloodstains. When it wasn't rinsing fast enough, he used his bare hands to scrub the sink clean.

After the last cat hair disappeared down the drain, Meng Fanzhe grabbed a mop from behind the door and vigorously scrubbed the blood from the bathroom floor.

At a loss, Fang Mu could only watch as Meng Fanzhe rushed to clean every inch of the bathroom. A million thoughts were going through his mind at once.

At last Meng Fanzhe stopped and leaned exhaustedly against the wall, panting heavily.

Cautiously, Fang Mu asked, "What happened? Can you tell me?"

Meng Fanzhe shook his head weakly. "I don't know. But recently I've been feeling so strange. I'm constantly forgetting what I've been doing, and there are all these things in my room that I don't remember having brought there."

Fang Mu thought for a moment. "Do you want to go see a doctor?"

Meng Fanzhe shook his head repeatedly. "No, no, no, that's not necessary." Then as if thinking aloud, he said, "I will get better, yes, I will definitely get better. I don't need to rely on anyone else…"

He muttered this over and over again, as if he had no faith in himself.

Fang Mu watched him silently. He had no idea what he should say.

Suddenly Meng Fanzhe stood up straight. Forcing a smile, he looked at Fang Mu and said, "I…I'm gonna go back to my room. Will you…" he dropped his eyes, "keep this a secret for me?"

"All right. However, I still recommend that you see a doctor."

"Okay, I understand. If I think it's necessary, I'll go. See you later."      Then he walked unsteadily out of the bathroom and back down the hall toward his room.

The bathroom was quiet once more. The only sounds were the gurgle of water rushing through the pipes and the hum of the fluorescent light overhead. For a long time Fang Mu just stood there, barely moving a muscle. He looked at the spotless sink, and then at the trash can. What the hell was going on with Meng Fanzhe tonight? His behavior made no sense at all, was just utterly strange.

Even stranger than that first day in class.

CHAPTER
21
3+1+3

E
arly the next morning, Fang Mu knocked on Meng Fanzhe's door. There was no answer. He knocked again and again, almost 20 times, but there was still no response. He looked through the small window in the door. No lights seemed to be on inside. He didn't know whether Meng Fanzhe had already gone out or just didn't want to answer.

All that day Fang Mu could think of nothing but Meng Fanzhe. The fellow student's pale face and cavernous eyes seemed to always be hovering in front of him.

A behavioral scientist for the FBI once proposed a related theory. If an individual manifested at least two distinct traits while young, the likelihood of him committing crimes later in life would be fairly high. Among those traits were continuing to wet the bed past a certain age, starting fires, and torturing animals or smaller children. These types of behaviors were caused by weak self-control coupled with strong anti-social impulses. And, from the perspective of behavioral science, the need to torture animals often came from anxiety caused by feelings of powerlessness and loss of control in daily life.

So what was making Meng Fanzhe feel powerless and out of control?

And the other important question: What would he do next?

Meng Fanzhe had a weak personality, but he was kind and sweet-natured. Tearing a living cat apart and then eating it was not something a person like him would do. And it had been obvious to Fang Mu that last night, while Meng Fanzhe was mutilating Tom, he was in a very confused state.

What had caused Meng Fanzhe to begin acting this way?

"
Tom… They all hate him…so I can't…rely on him…any longer…
"

Rely on him?

If Meng Fanzhe had been relying on Tom, what had the cat been protecting him from?

Rats?

Fang Mu knew Meng Fanzhe was afraid of roll call. Perhaps he was scared of rats as well.

Keeping a cat would give him a subconscious feeling of protection and would cause his fear of rats to disappear, at least to a certain extent.

The problem was that this would make him reliant on this source of protection, and should it ever go away, not only would his fear of rats resurface, it would probably be even stronger than before.

If Fang Mu was right, then by killing his treasured Tom – whom he most likely saw as his protector – Meng Fanzhe was essentially burning all his bridges, or rather, destroying the basket in which all his eggs had been placed.

A person who could do something like
that
was dangerous.

Fang Mu was just as lost in thought that night while studying for class.

After being ignored by him for half the evening, Deng Linyue finally spoke. "What's on your mind?"

"Oh, nothing really." Realizing that he had been acting a little cold, he turned to her and smiled apologetically.

She didn't smile back, just looked down and continued reading. After a while, she said quietly:

"Are you thinking about a certain someone?"

"Who are you talking about?" For a moment he didn't know how to react. He had no idea when she could have met Meng Fanzhe.

"You know…the girl who's always on your mind."

He stared blankly for a moment, and then shook his head helplessly. "I'm not. Don't get so carried away."

She looked searchingly into his eyes, obviously not believing him. "Will you tell me about her?"

"No!" He stopped the conversation in its tracks.

Deng Linyue didn't say another word to Fang Mu for the rest of their time together. When he walked her back to her dorm, she didn't ask him for a hug or a kiss like usual. She just said, "I'll see you later," and walked to the door, leaving him alone on the sidewalk.

With no other choice, Fang Mu turned to go. After walking only a few dozen feet, he turned and looked back. Deng Linyue was still standing in the doorway of the women's dormitory, looking in his direction.

He started to walk towards her, but before he had gone more than a few steps, she spun and hurried upstairs.

He hesitated for a moment and then walked over to the dorm. He waited for fifteen minutes before deciding that Deng Linyue wasn't coming back out. He shook his head, turned, and left.

Is this what love looks like?

After returning to his dorm, Fang Mu first went to Meng Fanzhe's room. Even though he could see from the doorway window that no lights were on, he knocked anyway.

No response, just as he had expected.

He had already talked to Zou Tuanjie, who said that Meng Fanzhe still hadn't come to class that day, and no one had seen him all day.

Where had he gone?

When Fang Mu returned to his room Du Yu was already there, but much to his surprise, he wasn't playing Counter-Strike. Instead he was sitting at his desk with a serious look on his face.

"What are you doing?" asked Fang Mu. Having grown accustomed to Du Yu always having a smile on his face, Fang Mu found his current expression to be a little amusing.

"Do you have a moment?" Du Yu asked, turning an unhappy look on him. "I wanted to talk to you."

"About what?" Fang Mu couldn't help but feel a little baffled.

"About you and Deng Linyue."

He stared at Du Yu for several seconds. "Are you just curious? Or is it something else?"

"It's not that." Du Yu paused for a moment. "I just wanted to talk to you as a friend."

Fang Mu pulled his chair over and sat down, and lit a cigarette. "What do you want to know?"

"Are you and Deng Linyue…really a couple?"

Fang Mu hesitated for a moment. "I…suppose we are."

"What do you mean 'you suppose?'" Du Yu brought his chair closer to Fang Mu. "Do you love her?"

For a moment Fang Mu was silent. He took several drags from his cigarette. "To be honest, I don't know."

He really didn't know. Several days ago, the name Deng Linyue had meant only
victim
to him. Now, however, she was his
girlfriend.
The whole process had been like an unrealistic dream that he had fallen into without realizing it.

It wasn't the first time this problem had occurred to Fang Mu. In fact, he had been trying to avoid thinking about it for the past several days.

He had avoided it because he had grown accustomed to his new life.

Accustomed to a girl's warm eyes looking at him adoringly.

Accustomed to someone caring deeply about his daily life.

Accustomed to having a soft, sweet-scented body beside him.

And accustomed to those hugs and kisses that made him tremble inside.

Du Yu was watching him, waiting for more of Fang Mu's reply. He sighed. "Actually," he said, speaking slowly, "as your friend I really support you and Deng Linyue being together. And Yaoyao and I both feel that you two are very good for each other. It's just that you became a couple so fast that, especially right now, it really surprised everyone." He paused. "You know what everyone's saying about it, right?"

Fang Mu suddenly realized exactly why Du Yu had been so serious about wanting to discuss the subject with him. It was because of Liu Jianjun.

Seeing that Fang Mu wasn't going to say anything, Du Yu answered the question himself. "They're saying that you took advantage of Liu Jianjun's injury to steal his girlfriend."

Fang Mu laughed hollowly. This was hardly the first time others had misunderstood him. Wasn't he called a freak all the way back to the beginning of school? Well, he still didn't give a damn.

"Is that what you think, too?" Fang Mu asked at last.

"Of course not! I know you too well to think that." Du Yu paused, and then quickly added, "However, I'm still not totally clear about what exactly happened."

Fang Mu had no desire whatsoever to keep discussing this topic with Du Yu, but when he saw the firm and trusting look in his roommate's eyes, he thought for a moment longer and then told him everything that Deng Linyue had said about her relationship with Liu Jianjun.

After listening, Du Yu was quiet for some time. But when Fang Mu lit his fifth cigarette, Du Yu suddenly seemed to come to some internal conclusion and jumped up and placed his hand firmly on Fang Mu's shoulder.

"I support you, brother," he said rather loudly. "You did nothing wrong, and neither did Deng Linyue. Next time I hear someone criticize you, I'll tell them what really happened!"

Fang Mu was about to tell him he really didn't need to do anything like that, but when he saw the self-sacrificing look on Du Yu's face, he just laughed and nodded.

With this weight lifted from his mind, Du Yu slept soundly that night. Fang Mu, however, couldn't get to sleep. To his roommate, his explanation had probably seemed perfectly reasonable, but it did nothing to relieve Fang Mu's self-doubts.

Do I really love Deng Linyue?

He had always known that he had the power to see into other people's hearts, and there was no doubt in his mind that Deng Linyue loved him. But could he say the same?

It is difficult for a doctor to treat himself.

At that moment, Fang Mu understood what the old saying meant. He felt like a flashlight – able to illuminate the darkest corners, but unable to shine a light on himself.

Perhaps this was how it had to be.

Everyone had a road they must walk. Some were smooth, others bumpy.

Mine
, thought Fang Mu,
is covered in thorns and beset by danger on all sides. There will be blood and monsters and regret and sadness, and my only company will be nightmares and the spirits of the dead.
  

I've already walked so far. And I'm so tired

His thoughts drifting, Fang Mu gradually fell asleep. His doubts had not been answered, but he had already begun to wonder whether that even mattered.

All he knew was that when Deng Linyue held him, he felt so warm.

The next day Tai Wei came to see him.

As soon as he walked inside, he tilted his head and looked at Fang Mu. He chuckled. "Well, you're looking pretty good."

He knew Tai Wei was trying to make fun of him about Deng Linyue. He ignored him.

Tai Wei had grown a lot thinner lately and looked a little green around the eyes. He appeared not to have slept well in some time. "Why didn't you go with Ms. Deng to the study room today?"

"Her parents came to visit her today and took her out to dinner." In fact, all day she had been hinting that Fang Mu should go with them, saying she really wanted her parents to meet him, but he never agreed to go. Perhaps it was because he still had such a bad impression of her mother from that day in the hospital. Also, he knew that if he did go, it would give the unmistakable impression of a future son-in-law paying his respects to his girlfriend's parents – and that was something he didn't want to do at all.

"So how's it going?" he asked Tai Wei. "Any discoveries?"

"None. We haven't made any progress whatsoever." Then without asking for permission, Tai Wei flopped onto Fang Mu's bed. "Right now all we can do is wait around helplessly. Fuck, man, when is all this going to end?"

The previous afternoon Tai Wei had returned to the city bureau to report to the director. Just as he had walked into the office he happened to pass the deputy mayor and the Jiangbin City American consul coming out. The director hadn't looked too pleased, but he had held his temper and listened to Tai Wei give his report. When Tai Wei finished, the director didn't give any specific comments, just told him to stay vigilant and crack the case as soon as possible. Tai Wei knew that after the fat American was killed, the bureau had been under an enormous amount of pressure. He decided not to wait around and returned directly to
Jiangbin
City
University
.