Promise Renewed (21 page)

“Maddy.”

She was trembling, her hands shaking so badly she held them in a death grip. He’d never seen anyone so upset. It
was
his fault. He wanted to kick himself for not thinking this through. But no, he’d acted first. The gun episode this morning should have warned him. Except, Gina had been into the kiss. He was sure of it.

He stood, hurried to the bathroom and came back with a damp washcloth. “This will help.” He set a box of tissues beside her in case the waterworks started again.

She wiped her face, leaned back, and huddled in the corner of the couch.

“You’re a good man, Darin. What I just did was uncalled for.”

“I’m sorry I put you in an uncalled for position.” Though the statement was true, he wanted to know the reason for the outburst. Whatever it was had to be serious.

He sat back in the chair to give her time to get her emotions under control.

“Tell me what happened to you and Maddy.” Only one thing he could think of would cause such distress. “Were the two of you molested as children?”

Tears gathered again in blue-green eyes. Okay. They were getting somewhere.

“Worse.”

“You can tell me.”

She shook her head. Her throat worked, either to keep the sobs down or to find her voice.

“No one else knows?”

“Only our therapists.”

“Then, pretend I’m your therapist. I promise I won’t reveal what you tell me without your permission.”

****

She looked deep into his eyes and saw the truth in his statement. Darin would keep his word. But she’d never voiced the pain and distress of that time with anyone other than Maddy and the therapist for so many years she didn’t know if she could.

Darin’s very green eyes bored into hers with an intensity she couldn’t define. Everything, from the way he looked at her, to the way he leaned her way, spelled he meant what he said.

She
did
want him to know. Hadn’t she told Maddy just the other day if she found someone she cared about to tell him their story and see what their reaction would be?

She cared for Darin. Taking a deep breath, she began, “It started when Maddy and I reached puberty. Up until then, our stepfather pretty much left us alone. I was thirteen, Maddy twelve when the groping started. I told Mom, but she didn’t believe me. I earned a little money baby-sitting, so I bought a lock for our door and put it on.”

“You were just a kid. How…?”

“I read the instructions.”

He nodded.

“Maddy and I spent more time in our room than any other kids in the world. Or so we thought. But the lock kept us relatively safe until my mother died soon after I graduated high school. Maddy still had a year to go. Both of us wanted to go to college, but knew it would be impossible with the situation at home. So I got a job, told Maddy to get home from school and ball practice as fast as she could. When she had early practice, she’d go to the library until she knew I had to be home.” She paused, let out a deep breath. “Elton was clever. He would take off work early some days. He told us it was to work on the computer. We didn’t believe him. If he could get his hands on Maddy, he would.”

Tears started to flow again. She hated being like this. Hated Darin seeing it. Hated the words to come. Would she ever be normal? Ever be able to make love with a good man like Darin Callahan without scaring him to death with her hysteria? Her breath hitched.

“You didn’t have anywhere else to go?”

“No. We were trapped. I saved every penny I could. We planned to run away as soon as Maddy graduated.

“Maddy was only weeks away from graduating when it happened. We thought we were going to make it. Elton would grab at our breasts or our crotch, feel us up if he could. Most of the time we made it to our room and safety before it got too far.

“One day, the bus had an accident and I was later than usual getting home. I heard Maddy scream as soon as I walked into the apartment. Our greatest fear had always been he would trap one of us and…” She couldn’t continue. It was too painful. The horror of that day lived with her still.

“It’s okay, Gina. Finish the story.”

Another breath. “We were afraid he would rape one of us. When I walked in, he was on top of Maddy, a hand to her throat. It didn’t stop her from screaming. Since Maddy played baseball her bat was right there. I didn’t think twice. I picked it up and slammed it onto Elton’s head. At the time, I didn’t care if I killed him. He’d raped Maddy.”

Sobs shook her shoulders. Darin waved caution aside to sit beside her and take her hand in his. She didn’t resist. When she finished sobbing he handed her a tissue. “Then what did you do? Call the cops?”

“No. We were too scared of Elton. We packed a bag. I took every penny Elton had on him and every cent I had saved. I thought I had killed him so I called 911 and told the operator an injured man was in the apartment and gave the address. We lived in San Antonio at the time. When we left we never returned.

“We read the papers daily to see if his death was mentioned. It never was. After a year in Austin and no one questioned us, Maddy called the school and talked them into sending her diploma. We entered the University of Texas in Austin at the same time, worked at the same restaurant to earn money for a dinky apartment that for a while had nothing in it. By the time we graduated we were educated in our fields, but we were still those same two traumatized kids we had been.” She looked up at him. “Sometimes, like today, I think we still are. Maddy has never had a date until Hank. I had one in college. It ended up pretty much like what happened just now. Then when I was in the Police Academy I dated a guy who lied to me. It was bad.

“Much later I found out Elton had no death certificate, so he had to be alive somewhere, but I could never find him. I search the police files, look him up in every outlet I can find, and still can’t find him. It’s as if he disappeared that day.”

She took a deep breath. “That’s it. Both Maddy and I are a mess. We made a pact after it happened. We’d never tell anyone. We’d never get involved with a man or get married. Until just recently, we both kept our promise.”

“What changed?”

Could she tell him the truth? That her feelings for him had led her to this moment? Could she tell him she felt desire, but was too frightened to do anything about it?

“I’m attracted to you, Darin. I wish I wasn’t. It’s too confusing. I pulled a gun on you this morning. Didn’t that tell you there’s something wrong with me? That was bad enough, but tonight proves I’m not ready for a relationship. Though I’ve had years of therapy it’s evident I need more.”

“Do you trust me?”

She’d trust him with her life. She couldn’t think beyond that.

“After Maddy, I trust you more than anyone.”

****

Son of a bitch. Just knowing there were men like Elton Griffin in the world made Darin’s stomach lurch. To know the guy had all but ruined the lives of two beautiful young girls made him furious.

He twisted a strand of her hair in his fingers, felt the softness, and inhaled her scent. His heart moved. Was there any way he could help her? “You know I wouldn’t hurt you?”

“Not intentionally.”

Not ever if he could help it. “Fine. We’ll just sit and watch TV. But I want you to know how sorry I am that men like your stepfather even exist.”

“Thank you,” she breathed so low he could barely hear.

He put an arm across the couch in back of her. “You like old movies?”

“I do.”

“Let’s see if we can find one.” He took the remote, flipped.

“There,” she said. “Titanic. One of my favorites.”

“What do you like about it?” he asked, as they watched. “The romance? The scenery? The disaster?”

“Umm. It’s a toss up. I’m a real history buff so I like books and movies that cover a certain time period. Titanic shows the disaster of the ship sinking and the many lives lost. What I found interesting after reading up on the incident was the loss of confidence in technology around the world following the sinking.” She paused a minute. “I liked the romance, too. I cry every time I see it.”

He chuckled. Shifted his arm down to touch her shoulder, squeezed. She looked up at him with those glorious eyes, and his heart hitched up another notch.

They watched in silence for a while. But Darin’s head was spinning. He had a near-virgin sitting next to him. It scared him to death. He didn’t dare touch her in a sexual way or she might scream again. His head swirled with a mixture of desire and fear.

Desire for a beautiful woman was normal. Desire for a partner unacceptable. He was afraid for both of them. Gina carried childhood scars. Scars that right this minute had her at breaking point. If they didn’t keep this professional, they may have to call this sting off. He couldn’t let that happen on so many levels.

Sitting there with his arm around Gina’s shoulder, Darin didn’t see or hear a thing coming from the box across from them. For a few minutes they just sat there. He realized he was in way over his head. Finally, he felt her relax, lean into him just a little. He drew her a little closer.

How traumatized the two sisters must have been. Young, unable to handle a child predator who was determined to have his way with them. It was a miracle they had the guts to do what they did and the determination to make something of their lives despite their experience.

His heart went out to both the child who endured such punishment and the woman who couldn’t put it behind her.

“Is that why you became a cop?”

She gave a low chuckle. “Yeah. I wanted to put Elton and all those like him behind bars. Maddy wanted to protect the children. In our own way we’re trying to undo what happened to us.”

“Did you ever report your stepfather to the cops or tell anyone else who might help you?”

“Once. After mom died and he’d grabbed us again, I got really mad. When he went to bed, I called CPS and pretended I was a neighbor. Although we didn’t have neighbors we knew, I thought they’d buy my story. The next day they came and talked to Elton. You had to know him to know how clever he was. He smooth-talked the woman into believing him. She questioned us in front of him. I’ll never forget those dark eyes daring me to say anything. I was a kid. And I was afraid.”

He could see it clearly. “How did you make it when you moved out? Like you said, you were only kids.”

“I had the money I’d taken off Elton, plus the money I’d saved. It was enough to rent a low-budget efficiency. We got jobs almost immediately at a restaurant. The manager let us eat one meal a day at no charge. It was almost all we ate during that time.

“The first year was tough, but we saved every dime we could. UT wasn’t as expensive as some colleges so we started by taking a couple of courses a semester, working the rest of the time. Financial aid was a huge help. We took longer than most, but we finally graduated.”

Unable to stop himself, he kissed her forehead. They’d had a helluva life. But ended up making something of it. His admiration for this wonderful woman kicked up several notches.

“How did you end up in Dallas and your sister in Houston?”

“After we graduated, I applied immediately for the police academy and was accepted. Maddy wanted to work with children and for a while worked with Austin’s Children’s Protective Bureau. A couple of years after I got my badge I applied for an opening in Dallas and got it. I begged Maddy to come with me, but an opening in Houston sent her here.”

“It was hard for the two of you.”

“It was. And we should be way past our trauma. You’re a good man, Darin. I’m so sorry I went ballistic on you.”

“You had good reason.”

“I’m a grown woman. I’ve had years of therapy. Why can’t I get over the events of my childhood and get on with my life?”

It was a good question. Since Darin wasn’t into psychology he couldn’t give a viable answer. “I don’t know, honey. But you will.”

She looked up at him. He melted. He wanted to take those luscious lips and kiss her senseless. Any other woman he would.

“How can you be so sure?”

He grinned. “Because you’re a beautiful woman who wants a family. It
will
happen.”

****

Gina felt safe. Sitting here with Darin, talking about things she never expected to share with anyone besides her sister was amazing. He didn’t shy away as she thought he might.

When his arms tightened around her the feel of his hard body didn’t frighten her. Yes, it made her tingly, gave her an urgency she’d never had before, but frightened…no. Besides, she did like his kisses.

“Darin?” she asked.

“What?”

“Would you kiss me again?”

“No.”

She sat up straight to look at him. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. It was stupid of me.”

“You don’t understand, Gina. I would like nothing more than to kiss you. More even. But you know as well as I do we can’t. Not now. Not while we’re partners and not with this sting going down.”

She fell back against the couch. “You’re right. I wasn’t thinking.”

He chuckled. “I find it hard to think around you.”

“I feel the same around you. It’s a new and strange experience.” She paused, wondered if she could explain. “I like your kisses, Darin, and I trust you. I’ve never felt like this with anyone before. I think that’s why I fell apart.” She touched his arm. “You’re right though, we can’t kiss again.” The thought pained her. Even though she knew it was wrong, his kisses left her wanting more. She was totally messed up.

“Will you promise me something?”

“If I can.”

“I care deeply for you. Every time I look at you, I want to kiss you. When we kiss, I want to make love.”

“That—that’s what frightens me,” she whispered.

“But I promise not to do anything if you promise to relax. Don’t think of anything except staying in the moment.”

Could she?

“I’ll try.”

She shut her eyes—waited.

His finger traced her face, then her lips. She felt it all the way to her toes.

Her eyes popped open.

He grinned. “Are we okay?”

“Better than.”

Gina couldn’t think, couldn’t reason, but deep down she heard his words and believed them. Darin wouldn’t hurt her. For the first time in her adult life, she trusted a man.