Promise Them (The Callahan Series Book 6) (26 page)

It was after five when Nellie pulled her car behind the homestead and into the lean-to in back. It wasn’t a garage, but it was large. It had a roof with three sides and a gate. Horses had been kept there at one time, but now she pulled her car inside, locked the door, stepped through the kitchen, and went straight to the bathroom. She’d take a quick shower before Beau got here. Her skin held the scent of cinnamon and sugar as well as burgers and fries. Not the combination she wanted to wear as perfume.

The closer the clocked ticked toward seven-thirty, the tighter her nerves became—the more she doubted herself. Why had she suggested he come here anyway? He would kiss her and there would be no family around to stop him. Not that she couldn’t. Except whenever his lips touched hers she didn’t want to stop. She wanted more.

It took a while to decide what to wear, finally deciding on an old, but comfortable A-line green dress that almost reached her ankles. Sliding her feet into a pair of white slides, she went to sit on the porch. She tried to relax, but found herself watching the lane leading to the homestead for Beau’s truck. At seven-thirty, she stood to go back inside. She shouldn’t be outside looking eager. Besides, he was late. Or maybe he wasn’t coming. Disappointment and a thread of frustrated anger replaced eager anticipation

Before she could shut the door, she heard horse’s hooves. Was it Jimmy again? Or a stranger? She’d been too busy to ask about him today.

Since the sun set late, horse and rider were outlined against the setting sun. The rider took off his Stetson and waved. Laughter bubbled up inside.

Beau!

When he reached the porch, he slid out of the saddle, walked around to the lean-to, and tied Taro to a post. In seconds he was back with a smile on his face.

“Hi!” he said taking off his Stetson as he stepped onto the porch.

He looked delicious. His jeans were creased, his western shirt a blue that matched his eyes.

“Hi yourself,” she said. “I didn’t expect you to ride over.”

He chuckled. “You’re closer now. No need to drive around when I can cut through the pasture.”

“I guess not.” Suddenly, she didn’t know what to do or say.

“You look lovely.”

From the look in his eyes, he meant every word. She flushed at the male appreciation. She’d forgotten how thrilling it felt to have a man she cared about look at her that way. Yes. She cared about Beau. There! She admitted it.

“Did you mention wine?”

“Of course. Sit. I’ll have it out here in less than a minute.”

“I’ll do that.” He sat down tiredly.

She was back as promised. “Rough day?”

“You could say that.” He stood, took the bottle of wine from her hands and poured. “Now.” He handed her a glass. “Here’s to us.”

She swallowed hard. “Us?”

His grin widened. “Yeah. Us.” He took a sip.

They sat across from one another.

“Tell me about your day,” she began.

“Work and worry. That’s about it.”

“Worry won’t help. Nolan Murdock may be right. The rustlers could have moved out of the county.”

“We should be so lucky.”

“Does that mean you don’t think they have?”

He reached over, picked up a cracker topped with cheese, popped it in his mouth, and took a sip of wine. “I don’t know. Wish I did. Wondering from one morning to the next if your herd’s going to be where you left them is getting old.”

“What does Murdock say?”

She had been too busy to talk to Donovan or seek out Dugan to ask any questions.

“Nothing so far. He’ll patrol a couple more nights just to be sure.”

“What about the hand you fired, Gordon? I know he’s a suspect.”

“Right now the only one, but Murdock tells us there has to be proof.”

They sat in comfortable silence. Nellie gently rocking back and forth, while Beau sat in the lawn chair. A gentle breeze blew over them. For a quick moment, the thought hit her how domestic it felt. Almost like an old married couple talking about their day and sharing their problems.

She cleared her throat. “Beau, maybe we shouldn’t see each other like this.”

His brows lifted. “Really? Why did you move here then?”

A flash of anger whipped through her. Fists clenched, she stood to face him. “Do you think I moved here because of
you
?” Just as she feared.

Her voice was several octaves higher than normal, but she didn’t care. If Beau thought that, no wonder the children thought the same.

Her face flushed. They couldn’t. He couldn’t.

Seeing the anger, he stood. “I didn’t mean…”

“You didn’t mean what? That I’d do something this drastic to be alone with you just so we could have wine and cheese?”

A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, making her angrier than ever.

“Then why
did
you move?”

****

Nell paced up and down the porch, her eyes blazing. Wow! All this time, calm, patient Nell wasn’t so calm and patient. He’d sensed the fire beneath the surface. Now he felt the blast.

She came up to him to glare into his eyes. “I moved to give the kids the space they needed. It was past time for them to have their privacy. Do you think I’m the kind of woman…?” She turned away, a glint of tears in her eyes.

Anger was one thing, but he wouldn’t hurt her. He tried to reach for her, but she stepped away. “I think Phyl’s pregnant again,” she said softly. “She hasn’t said anything to me or to Donovan or he would have told the world by now. He’s so proud to be a dad. They’ll need space for their family. It’s that simple.” She glared at him again. “My move had nothing to do with you. Why would it?”

He had hoped. He was a man, after all. When she’d told him she’d moved here, his heart had told him she felt the same as he did. Now those hopes were dashed. “I just thought…” He gathered his thoughts, doing his best to make her understand. “I misunderstood, Nell. I’m sorry. For one blessed moment, I thought maybe you loved me the same as I love you.”

She put a hand to her mouth. He was surprised she didn’t put both hands over her ears as well. It was evident Nell didn’t want to hear a word about love. Yet, the words made her softer. She sank back into the rocker. “I’m sorry, Beau. So many years and still their words tear at me.”

Cheap! Tramp! Easy!

“Whose words? What are you talking about?”

She spoke so low he could barely hear.

“The Fraziers. My foster family.”

“I’m sorry. I told you I wouldn’t rush you. Yet here I am, jumping to all kinds of conclusions.” He was silent, locked in confusion. “I heard what you said. But I don’t know what you mean.”

“Nothing,” she said. Looking at the empty bottle, she asked, “More wine?”

He nodded and followed her inside, desperate to change the subject.

“You’ve made a lovely home here, Nell.”

“The kids spent all day yesterday helping me move.”

“They’re good kids.”

“Yes, they are.”

He went to the library table, picked up one picture after another.

She came over, bringing two glasses of wine. He looked at her, then back at the picture in his hands. “Was this your husband?”

“It was.”

“He seems like a nice guy.”

“The best.”

“Three of the boys favor him.”

“Donovan doesn’t.”

He put the picture down, moved toward her. He wanted to kiss her so badly he ached. “Nell?”

“Sit down, Beau. I have some things to tell you that will change your mind about me.” Her voice hitched a little and he saw the glint of tears again.

He shook his head in denial. “Nothing will change my mind. I love you. Period.”

“That’s what you think now, but once you know the truth…” Her voice cracked and her face was so somber, her eyes so bright with pain, he wanted to hold her and never let go.

“I don’t have to know anything but now. Today is what matters.”

“You
have
to know. It’s only fair.”

Chapter Twenty-Six

“Okay. Say what you will. I’m right here, and I’ll be here when you finish.” Beau settled on the sofa, put his glass on the end table, and waited.

Nellie didn’t know where to begin. She was convinced if he knew her history, they might be friends, but he would get over this fixation he had that he was in love.

“My parents were killed in a freak accident when my brother and I were very young,” she began.

“Wait!” He held up his hand. “I didn’t know you had a brother.”

“We were separated after the accident and put in foster homes. We weren’t close. Still aren’t. But he
is
my brother and we keep in touch. He moved to San Antonio for a while after he retired from the Air Force. He met a woman soon after and they moved to California, of all places. I talk to him on occasion.”

Beau nodded. She told him about the Fraziers. “I grew up thinking I couldn’t do anything right. Only while I was in school did I feel the least bit confident. But as soon as I got back to the house, they would tear me down, slice me up in little pieces. I remember one day coming home from school so proud of the fact that I’d been the only one in class to make a perfect score in math. They sneered. Asked me what I was doing for the teacher to make him give me such a good grade. They made it sound nasty.”

“Did you know you were being psychologically and emotionally abused?”

“Not for a long time.”

“When you realized what they’d done, did you get professional help?”

“Not until recently.”

He shook his head, as if he couldn’t believe she’d waited so long. She couldn’t either. But the years had passed, the children had grown, and her life had settled into a routine.

One that Beau Chandler threw off course.

She glanced at him and saw the distress in his eyes. She wanted to stop now. Leave out the rest and knew she couldn’t. “The Fraziers wouldn’t allow me to date. When I turned eighteen and left home to start college I dated the first boy who asked me out. Rebellion, I guess. Only the boy wasn’t the person I thought he was so I broke it off. After a long while I started dating Duncan.”

Beau was sitting on the edge of the sofa, his drink forgotten. Nellie took a silent breath and continued. When she told him of the rape, Beau lunged to his feet. “Is the bastard in jail? He’d better be.”

She shook her head. “Sit down, Beau. You have to hear the rest.”

He hesitated before doing as she asked.

“Before it happened, Duncan had asked me to marry him and I’d said yes. Then I found out I was pregnant.”

“Donovan.”

“Yes, Donovan. But Duncan and I had vowed to wait until marriage. The father was the boy who raped me.”

“Shit!” Beau said, dropping his face in his hands. “What you must have gone through.”

“I broke off my engagement with Duncan. What else could I do? I thought the Fraziers were right. I was unmarried and pregnant, just like they’d always said.” She paused to take a sip of wine.

“Duncan didn’t believe that or he would have let you go,” Beau said.

“He insisted we get married immediately. It took a while for him to convince me he could love another man’s child, but he did. We came here, lived in this very house with his parents until we built our own place. I vowed to make myself the perfect wife, the perfect mother. It was what he deserved.”

“But…” Beau began.

“It was my shame, you see. I blamed myself for the rape. I had dated the jerk, even allowed him to kiss me once, maybe twice. I led him on.”

“Bullshit! You broke it off. You can’t seriously believe that?” He sat there fuming. “So you spent twenty years worshiping the man who saved you? Did you love him?”

“Of course I loved him. I loved him before it happened. I loved him more after. Duncan was a wonderful man, a good father. Donovan never knew Duncan wasn’t his biological father until a few years ago.”

She told him Donovan’s story, how in his shock he went to find the man who had raped his mother to punish him, only to find the man was already dead. How Phyl and Mark saved him.

Beau took her hand, pulled her to her feet. “You’re a totally different person from that frightened girl who found herself pregnant and unmarried.” He looked around. “After all you went through, have you ever considered what you’ve made of yourself in spite of what happened in your childhood and after? What made you the woman you are?”

“I’m a mess,” she said. Though her mouth smiled, her eyes leaked tears.

He rubbed a tear away with his thumb. Now he understood why she’d turned so silent after that conversation weeks ago when he’d told her how his personal space had been violated. Hers had been more so.

“You’re a wonderful mess—an amazing mess. You raised your children with love and understanding. Two things the Fraziers didn’t give you. Look at your children. They have stable and secure lives of their own. The Fraziers didn’t give you those traits. Those traits were here.” He kissed her forehead. “Do you ever really look at your children? They’re a tribute to who you are! You deserve a gold crown for what you’ve accomplished. You, Nell!”

“And their father,” she added.

“Yes. And him.”

He pulled her close. Held her. For a moment she held herself back, unwilling to give in to the sweet warmth his arms promised. Then, taking a deep breath, she sighed and leaned into him.

“I love you, Nell. Like I told you before, nothing you tell me can change that. I know who you are. I see evidence every day of your generosity and your patience.”

He put his hands on her buttocks and lifted her. Unable to stop herself, she hiked her skirt and wrapped her legs around his waist. “I want you, Nell. More than I’ve ever wanted a woman.”

She held on tight, kissed him fully, openly.

“Bed?” he asked, hope in his voice.

Yes
, her heart sang, but her answer was a kiss.

As they passed each light switch, she reached over and flipped it off. By the time he reached the bed, the only light in the room drifted in from the window where the moon gleamed like a golden ball.

She thought she’d be shy or embarrassed. After all, Duncan had been the only man in her life, and she hadn’t made love in over twenty years. But loving Beau was nothing less than one fiery sensation after another.