Promise to Keep (3 page)

CHAPTE
R THREE

Present Day

Thirty Years Old

JACKSON

I saw her before she’d spotted me. My chest instantly tightened at the sight of her and the competing feelings I felt for her fought for their control inside me. 

She stopped in her tracks the moment she saw me. Then she started walking toward me, causing me to draw in a deep breath. I was surprised that even after everything I’d said to her and how cold I’d treated her, she still wanted to talk to me and even approached me with a smile on her face. 

“Hi,” she said in a low, breathy voice when she stopped in front of me. “Thank you for getting me to the hospital last night.”

“Yeah. No problem.” My voice was flat and distant. 

Her smile fell slightly. “Are those...?” She didn’t finish her question as she looked tentatively between me and the flowers in my hand. 

“They’re for Aunt Betty,” I explained.

“Oh.” Her expression changed for a moment, but her smile remained curled on her lips. “They’re beautiful tulips. She will love those.”

I couldn’t help feeling bad when I remembered that tulips were Chloe’s favorite flowers and wondered if she had thought that I was here to see her and these tulips were for her. A dull ache that I’d ignored for so long ran through me as I saw the look in her eyes. In that instant I felt a longing for her. I missed her. 

“Yeah, I wanted to stop by to see that she’s okay. She was always there to care for me when we were growing up.” I felt compelled to explain myself. “It’s the least I can do to thank her for all the lunch money she’d saved me by packing me those school lunches.” I gave a light chuckle, hoping to lighten the tension I felt between us. 

“That’s sweet of you. I know that’ll mean a lot to her.” Her voice was friendly, but in that overly polite way.

A part of me wanted to say something that would make her feel better, but I didn’t. As I looked at her, I realized that I wasn’t ready to forgive her. Even though I missed her, I still couldn’t understand how she had done something so unforgivable years ago. How could I forgive her when I couldn’t understand her? Or when I felt like I didn’t know her at all?

“Well, I should go see her, then,” I ended up saying instead. “Bye.” I felt my stomach clench in guilt as I forced my legs to move and walk past her. 

“Wait.” She turned and took a step toward me. 

I stopped but didn’t turn around to meet her gaze. 

“Can we talk?” There was a crack in her voice that tore at my insides. 

We stood there in silence for what seemed like forever before I finally spoke. “I’m not sure I’m ready for that,” I said honestly. 

“I’m sorry for what I did to you. I…”

“It’s all in the past. Let’s just leave it all in the past and not dwell on it.” My jaws tightened as I tried to work through my feelings. 

“I called you a few months ago,” she blurted out. “I…I wanted to talk to you and tell you everything…I still do.”

Emotions whirled inside me, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear about the feelings she had for my father or details about their relationship or why it was all okay. I’d heard enough of those reasons from my father the few times we’d spoken to each other after the incident. I didn’t need to hear them repeated by the woman who’d broken my heart as well.

“I know you called,” I said flatly. I remembered that night clearly. It was around three in the morning when she’d called. In my half-asleep state, I hadn’t looked at the caller ID when I’d picked up. But when I didn’t hear anything on the other end of the line, I hung up. It wasn’t until then that I realized who had just called.

“You did?” I heard the surprise in her voice. “How come you hadn’t mentioned that?”

I didn’t turn to look at her. I wasn’t sure I could. “You called in the middle of the night and you didn’t say anything when I had answered. So I knew you must have called me by mistake. I didn’t think it was anything I needed to mention again.”

“Oh.” 

“I should go see your aunt now. My train back to New York leaves in a few hours.” 

“You’re leaving already?” I could hear the surprise and disappointment in her voice. “I thought maybe we could…”

There was a part of me that wanted to stay and talk to her, but there was a bigger, and stronger, part of me that wasn’t ready to face her. “Yeah. I need to head back. The wedding’s over so there’s nothing here that I need to stay for.” I felt awful the second I heard the words come out of my mouth. 

“Right.” Her voice was strained and then she paused before continuing quickly. “Well, enjoy your visit. I gotta go.” 

I turned around toward her, immediately regretting my words. But when I did, she was already running halfway down the corridor toward the parking garage. 

I thought about chasing after her, but I stopped myself. What would I say? What would it accomplish? So instead, I turned back around and headed to Aunt Betty’s hospital room. I tried to push away the feeling, but a heaviness took residence inside my chest as I imagined Chloe running away from me with tears streaming down her face.

***

“Jackson, it’s great to see you again.” Aunt Betty beamed at me as I walked in to her hospital room. 

“Hi, Aunt Betty. How are you feeling?” I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.

“Not bad. They gave me something for the hip, so I’m feeling better. Luckily I didn’t fracture anything so I won’t need any surgery, but they want to keep me here for the next day or so to run some more tests.”

“That’s good to hear.” I felt relieved by the news. Aunt Betty was such a kind person, and she’d gone through so much since I’d known her. I didn’t want to see her in pain. “Oh, and this is for you. I hope it’ll brighten up your day a bit.” I handed her the bouquet of tulips.

“Oh, you’re such a sweet child, Jackson. They’re beautiful.” She took the flowers and smiled at them. “But are you sure you got these for me?” she asked as she looked up at me with a curious smile on her face. 

“What do you mean?” I asked, feeling a sense of unease by her question. 

She grinned at me. “You know that tulips are Chloe’s favorite. You used to get them for her when she needed cheering up.”

“I actually forgot about that when I’d gotten these,” I admitted as a wave of guilt washed over me. I wasn’t sure why I’d picked up the bouquet of tulips among the various flowers that’d been available that morning at the floral shop. But when I saw the tulips, I’d smiled and gravitated toward them.
Was I thinking about her without even knowing it?

Aunt Betty didn’t respond for a moment, but simply studied me. “Jackson, can I be frank?”

“Sure. Of course.” I felt my body stiffen and braced myself for whatever she planned on saying.

“Is everything okay between you and Chloe?”

I swallowed uncomfortably when I heard her unexpected and direct question, and I wasn’t sure how to respond.

“Why do you ask that?” I finally asked, trying to stall for time.

There was a brief moment of silence and I could tell she was considering something. When she finally spoke, I noticed her voice changed and became more serious. “Jackson, Chloe told me that you guys aren’t friends anymore.”

“She did?” I felt the blood drain from my face. I wasn’t sure why, but I’d never told anyone about what happened between me and Chloe nine years ago. I’d never once admitted to anyone, but Chloe, that we were no longer friends and that I hated her. But now hearing Aunt Betty say those words, it felt like a punch in the stomach. In a way, it made what happened that night years ago more of a reality.

Aunt Betty nodded. “She told me everything.” She paused. “I can’t imagine how you must have felt that day when you found out, and I know you might not want to hear this, but believe me when I say that Chloe didn’t want you to find out that way. I think she felt so ashamed by what was going on that it got to a point where she didn’t want you to know at all.”

Shock flooded through my system as I took in her words. I didn’t know if I wanted to talk about what had happened with Aunt Betty, but seeing her calm demeanor as she tried to justify Chloe’s actions caused me to question what she knew.
How could she not be upset by the fact that Chloe had a relationship with my father? 

“I’m not sure what to say.” I felt the need to defend myself. “If you want me to forgive her, I’m not sure I can do that. I think that’s asking a bit too much.”

She gave a solemn nod of her head. “I know. I understand. I’m not asking you to forgive her, Jackson. I know it’s none of my business and this is something between you and Chloe. All I am asking is for you to try to hear her out and maybe keep an open mind.”

“An open mind? What do you mean by that?” I searched her face for answers. “What do you know that I don’t?”

She frowned and I noticed how sad she was at that moment. “I shouldn’t be the one to tell you everything that she went through. I think you should hear it directly from her. But I have a feeling that if I don’t say anything, you will continue to be mad at her without wanting to knowing why.”

I wanted to tell her that she was wrong, that I knew the reason I was mad at her. I wanted to tell her that Chloe made it clear to me that night that she had feelings for my father. I wanted to tell her that that Chloe had picked him over me, that Chloe had been romantically involved with my father without ever thinking to tell me, without ever considering my feelings. But something stopped me from voicing my thoughts, as if saying them out loud would bring back all the pain I’d felt the day I’d found out about their relationship. So instead of voicing my disagreement, I decided to listen to what Aunt Betty had to say.

“So what I will tell you is this: she wasn’t an escort for herself, or because she wanted to. It was the opposite. It was the most selfless thing anyone could do, and she did it to help me and Tom.” Her words ended in a whisper as tears fell down her face.

I stared at her in complete silence, unable to comprehend what she’d just said. 

“Escort? What? Did you just say she was an escort?” I finally managed to ask. My mind whirled with a million thoughts but I couldn’t seem to grasp onto anything specific to focus on.
I must have misunderstood what she’d just said.

“You didn’t know that?” She looked at me in surprise. “Oh my, I…”

I shook my head. “No. She didn’t tell me. She just said she needed money—” I paused, feeling another pang of guilt wash over me. “—but then I stopped listening to her.” I felt a lump develop in my throat. “How come she didn’t ask me for help though? I could have given her the money. Why did she have to turn to something as debasing as selling her own body?” Then another thought flashed through my mind. “Was my father a
client
?” I asked incredulously, unable to believe that any of this could be even remotely true. 

Aunt Betty looked away. “You should really talk to her about this. I feel like I’ve already said too much.” She paused. “But to answer one of your questions, I will say that she needed a lot of money at that time—more than you could have helped her out with.”

“But that’s still not a good reason to turn to something like escorting!” I heard my voice rise as a mixture of anger, confusion, and guilt consumed me. “Why didn’t she at least ask for help?”

She sighed. “You’ve known Chloe for most of your life. You know she has a lot of pride and doesn’t want to ask for help. Before she lived with us, she’d learned to take care of herself and face her problems alone. I don’t think that instinct ever left her, even when she moved in with us and we were there to help her. She’s always wanted to be independent and be able to solve her problems on her own. Even with me and Tom, she always resisted our help and didn’t want to depend on us. I think one of her biggest fears is to be a burden on someone else.” She let out a deep sigh. “I think with the way her mother left her, she was always scared that she’d become a burden to us and make our lives harder, and she didn’t want to live with the guilt if something bad were to happen to us as a result.”

Everything Aunt Betty had said was true. I’d noticed this about Chloe as well. But it still didn’t take away the hatred I’d felt for Chloe for hurting me. “But I’m—I
was
her best friend. She should have at least told me she was about to become an escort! Why did she keep it from me? And why had she been sleeping with my father of all people?” An image of that night flashed before my eyes, and I felt all the anger and pain return. “How can I forgive her for something like that? How can you ask me to have an open mind when she had been sleeping with my own father?”

She nodded as if she understood my frustration and anger. “I know, Jackson. She should have told you about what we were going through after the car accident and why she decided to become an escort. She should have told you about your father. I don’t think it was a matter of her not wanting to tell you. I think she had wanted to tell you. And she had planned on telling you as soon as things had happened.”

“So why didn’t she tell me? She apparently had at least a whole year to do so.” I cut her off, frustrated by what I was hearing. How could Aunt Betty possibly believe that Chloe had wanted to tell me everything when she clearly kept it from me for over a year?