Promised Land (22 page)

‘She’s talking about going to London and getting rid of it!’ worried Gretta. ‘We can’t let her do anything like that.’

‘What about Bill?’

Ella had got to know Bill and had always considered him the type that wouldn’t let a girl down. He’d always seemed decent enough and had no children, so surely he’d want this child.

‘What did Bill say, Terri?’

‘I haven’t told him yet.’

‘But why?’

‘He’s got a wife in England already!’ she sobbed, crying afresh. ‘As God is my judge, Ella, I only found out long after I got involved with him. They got married during the war and split up not long after when she went off with some other fellah. They never got round to getting a divorce so I can’t marry Bill!’

‘But you’ve got to tell him!’ all three of them insisted. ‘Not in a pub, not in a restaurant but somewhere quiet where the two of you can sit down properly and discuss it, Terri.’

‘You’ve got to glam yourself up and look absolutely amazing,’ urged Kitty, ‘before you drop the bomb and tell him!’

Ella was nervous for Terri. The country was full of homes and institutions for unwed mothers, forced to give their children up, and orphanages full of illegitimate offspring that nobody wanted.
She
couldn’t imagine Terri in one of those places.

Filled with trepidation the three of them disappeared off to the pictures leaving Terri in a sexy button-through dress with an off-the-shoulder neckline and a neat waist and full skirt, immaculately groomed, with the flat as clean as they could get it in a few hours, ready to break the news. They were all too terrified to go back and dillied and dallied deliberately in O’Connell Street, buying chips and window-shopping as they walked home.

‘We’re getting married!’ Terri announced, hugging them all on their return. Tears of relief streamed down her face. ‘Bill’s got to organize a few things first and sort out his legal situation, but I’m going to be Mrs Bill Brady. They’ve already started divorce proceedings.’

Kitty poured them all a gin to celebrate and Terri sat on the couch with her mascara smudged and her eyes red, crying with happiness and relief that her child would have a father.

Terri and Bill got married in early October. Their wedding was a small affair held in Donnybrook church in town, with only a handful of guests. The priest had been in school with Bill and was glad to be of service in their dilemma. Terri hadn’t wanted to get married down home where all the O’Mearas’ neighbours would notice and remark on her condition. Her parents had been invited to the ceremony and small reception but had chosen
to
stay away; a brother who lived in Clontarf was the only one there to support her. Terri looked blond and radiant, despite being six and a half months along. The priest was kind and made no mention of her obvious condition during the ceremony. Ella, Kitty and Gretta were all on tenterhooks until Bill and Terri had both said the words ‘I do’.

‘Thank God they’re married!’ sighed Kitty.

Ten of them had lunch in the Shelbourne afterwards, and Ella thought she had never seen a prettier bride. Bill’s brother and his wife had joined them and they all toasted the happy couple with champagne. Only when Bill and Terri had waved goodbye and set off for their honeymoon in Killarney did it dawn on her that she had no idea of how Mac would react if she found herself in a similar situation.

Chapter Twenty-seven

MAC HAD OFFERED
to drive her the whole way down to the sanatorium in Wicklow to visit her sister-in-law.

‘Are you sure you don’t mind, Mac?’

‘I wouldn’t offer Ella, if I didn’t mean it.’

She loved the way Mac said what he meant and did what he wanted and didn’t play games the way a lot of people did, pretending one thing and doing another; also there weren’t that many men prepared to give up a day off for an act of kindness. She knew from Carmel’s letters that she was bored and fed up. Only next of kin were allowed to see her and since all her family were in Liverpool that meant that Liam and her uncle and aunt had been her only visitors. She had asked Ella to come down to the sanatorium as she wanted to talk to her.

‘We’ll stop off somewhere along the way for something to eat and if we get a chance have a bit of a
walk
,’ suggested Mac, putting her coat and her basket of small gifts for Carmel on the back seat of the car. She loved the way he took charge of things and organized her and was actually looking forward to the day’s outing with him. He was a good driver and she relaxed totally in the car with him as they drove along the country roads, empty on a Sunday morning. Visiting time in the hospital wasn’t until the afternoon so they’d driven up to Enniskerry and walked hand in hand all along its winding country lanes. Ella savoured the autumn day and collected pine cones and chestnuts.

They discovered a small hotel in the centre of the old-fashioned village, overlooking the square, and joined the crowd of people there having Sunday lunch of roast lamb and mint sauce with potatoes and baby peas, followed by a large helping of the chef’s delicious bread and butter pudding. Then they’d got back in the car and set off for Wicklow. Ella felt nervous, unsure of what to expect once they got there.

Oldcastle Sanatorium was visible from the main road surrounded by a beautiful grey stone wall that gave it a sense of enclosure and peace, separated as it was from the rest of the world. Mac turned into the driveway and drove up the wide avenue, flanked on either side by lush shrubs and neatly clipped hedges. The gardens and grounds were well cared for and they noticed a number of patients walking around them, exercising slowly. The main building itself was low with glass-sided
corridors
and wards that seemed to stretch in all directions; an older building had been converted into offices and a laboratory. Ella couldn’t believe the size of the place and remembered how Carmel had said all the wards were full. Tuberculosis remained a scourge, with many people and families affected by the devastating diagnosis of consumption and the isolating treatment needed to clear it.

‘I’ll stay in the car while you visit her,’ Mac said. ‘You take your time, I’ve got the Sunday newspapers and a book to read, so you just take as long as you want with her, Ella.’

She kissed him, thinking how good and kind he really was, tempted to stay in the car park with him all afternoon.

‘Go on!’ he teased.

She asked at the front desk and the porter there directed her to the room where her sister-in-law was. Along the way she tried to avoid staring at the gaunt-faced, bright-eyed patients who walked past her in the corridor or who rambled outside on the rich green lawn.

Carmel was sitting up in bed, looking prettier than before, alone in a small room looking out over the grounds, a glimpse of blue sea far in the distance.

‘Oh Ella, I’m so glad to see you! I’m that happy that you could come down from Dublin to visit.’

Carmel’s voice was light and wispy as if she found it hard to breathe or raise her voice, and without thinking Ella hugged her.

‘Ow! Ow! be careful. I had an operation a few weeks ago on my side and it’s still sore.’

‘Operation!’

‘Aye, they took away a bit of my lung and a few of my ribs.’

Carmel felt all bones, and Ella was shocked by the change in her. ‘Carmel, I should have come down to see you earlier. I didn’t realize how sick you were.’

‘It makes no matter, Ella. I wasn’t allowed visitors then. I’m feeling much better now, honest I am. A bit sore where they cut out my ribs, but otherwise not too bad, and the doctors say I’m improving now that they’re trying out the fancy new medicine on me.’

Ella pulled up a metal chair and sat down near the bed. She busied herself unpacking the few treats she’d brought down. Carmel loved the rich pink nightdress Ella and Kitty had spotted in Clery’s and appreciated their thoughtfulness. There was a coffee cake, a few bars of chocolate, some fruit, two bottles of red lemonade, a small bottle of freesia-scented cologne and some magazines.

‘You’ve brought me far too much Ella, far too much!’

Despite her protestations, Ella could see the other girl was not used to being made a fuss of, and was pink-cheeked with surprise.

Ella told her all about Mac, and that he was sitting outside waiting for her.

‘I’d like to meet him, Ella. He sounds a real dreamboat. Tell him thank you for driving you down to see me.’

‘You will once you’re better, I promise.’

Ella looked around the spartan room, wondering how her sister-in-law could possibly occupy herself and keep her sanity. ‘Carmel, what do you do all day?’

‘Sleep mostly. I’m right tired a lot of the time. Some days I walk a little bit or the physiotherapist comes in and I have to do some exercises with her. Mostly I listen to the radio and think about home.’

Ella was filled with pity for her sister-in-law and didn’t know how she stuck being confined in such a small place, away from everything.

‘In a few weeks’ time when I’m a bit stronger I’ll move into one of the wards. The women there are great fun and then, God willing, another month or two and I’ll be going home.’

‘Of course you will.’

A pretty nurse with red hair came in and took Carmel’s temperature and pulse, discreetly removing the sputum-filled jars on the bedside locker.

‘Catherine, this is my sister-in-law Ella.’

‘Ah, the girl you were telling me about who works in Dublin.’

Ella smiled politely.

‘Carmel and I have long chats, don’t we, Carmel.’

‘I’d be lost without Catherine,’ admitted Carmel, squeezing the nurse’s hand.

‘Go on out of that! I’d better go and see to a few of my more troublesome patients. Would they were all as good as you!’

Ella studied the drawing on the wall behind the bed. It showed a house and trees and three figures, drawn crudely in coloured wax crayons, one tall elongated figure with a cap on and two other smaller ones, standing in front of it all.

‘Mary did that. It’s Liam and herself and baby Sally.’

She could see that, recognizing the porch and windows of Fintra.

‘I’m not in it,’ whispered Carmel, drawing in a shuddering breath. ‘She’s left me out of it.’

‘She’s just drawing now, what’s happening to her now!’ exclaimed Ella, trying to reassure her. ‘Look, there’s her picture of you in the hospital, lying in a big bed!’

Carmel bit her lip, trying not to cry. Ella did not know what to say.

‘You’ll be back home before you know it, Carmel, honest you will, you and Liam and the children will be back to being a family again.’

She had to laugh. Here was she, a spinster with no husband or child of her own, advising a settled married woman what to do.

‘That’s why I wrote to you, Ella. I wanted to see you, wanted to talk to you.’

Carmel was overwrought, worried and afraid.
Ella
could see it her eyes and anxious state. Maybe she should go out and find that nurse again, the one Carmel liked.

‘Ella, if anything happens to me, I want you to promise to help look after my children.’

Promise, how could she promise that? ‘Liam would look after them, Carmel. Anyway this is daft talk. You were saying yourself that in a few months you’ll be going home. You shouldn’t be upsetting yourself like this, Carmel. Honest you shouldn’t!’

‘You lost your mother when you were young, Ella. You know what it’s like! I just want my girls to have someone there to care for them and love them if anything should happen to me.’

‘Liam would take care of them, Carmel, you know that. He’s their father!’

‘I know, Ella, but Liam told me what happened to his father when your mother died. I don’t know how he’d cope on his own Ella, honest I don’t. You’re his sister.’

Ella sighed. She hated hospitals, hated them. She remembered the day her father brought her to the County Hospital. They’d said her mother would only be in for a day or two, and not to worry, she’d get better. A nurse in the corridor had asked her name and hearing she was Helena Kennedy’s daughter told her to run as fast as she could up to the ward as her mother was dying. She’d barely recognized her beautiful mother, the poison from the septicaemia raging through her body following
her
appendix bursting. She’d held her hand till the very end. Her father, ravaged with grief, cursed the doctors and nurses.

‘This is crazy talk, Carmel, crazy. You’re in one of the best hospitals in Ireland, with good doctors and nurses, and you’re getting better. Nothing’s going to happen to you. Don’t even dream of thinking of it!’

No matter what she said, or how much she reassured the patient in the bed, she could see that Carmel was fretting and utterly refused to be placated.

‘Please Ella, please!’

She hated being pushed into a corner but couldn’t let the sick girl get herself into such a state. ‘Oh, all right then. I promise to help with the girls and Liam should anything happen to you. But it won’t!’

Carmel leaned back against the pillows, her eyes closed. ‘Thanks Ella! Thank you. I can rest easy now.’

Ella couldn’t believe what she’d let herself be persuaded to do. Already Carmel looked more relaxed and Ella, anxious to change the subject, began to chat about the shop and Leo and Neil and the new play at the Abbey Theatre that Leo had a small part in. She could see that Carmel’s eyes were closing and she was beginning to drift off to sleep.

‘I’d better go.’

‘No, don’t go, Ella. Liam will be in to visit in a
while
if Nance or one of the girls are able to mind the children.’

Ella had no intention of meeting her brother and having any sort of a discussion with him and pulled on her coat. ‘No, Carmel, I have to go. Poor Mac is waiting ages outside.’

‘I’m sorry, Ella. Listen, thank you for coming, and for everything.’

Ella stood awkwardly at the door.

‘Take care of yourself!’

She hated leaving Carmel there on her own, and walked quickly along the corridor and out of the hospital, not wanting to be there if Liam came.

She could see Mac in the distance in the car park. He had his head thrown back, dozing, and jumped up the minute she pulled the car door open.