Promised Land (3 page)

‘If he doesn’t get in tonight I’ll leave word for
Father
Tom to come up to the ward in the morning,’ the staff nurse added gently, squeezing her patient’s hand.

‘Come home and stay the night with us, Ella?’ her aunt had offered.

‘No! No thanks! I’d prefer to go home.’

She was adamant about going back to Fintra, not wanting to leave the farmhouse empty. Sean was waiting to drive her. Understanding her need to be in her own place, Aunt Nance had wrapped her plump arms round her and held her close, while Ella forced herself not to break down and cry.

Sean was quiet on the drive home along the dark country roads, both of them enveloped in silence. She was in no mood for kissing and courting and was glad that he didn’t attempt to pull off down towards the lake shore. Outside the house he turned off the engine; she was exhausted and in no humour for chatting.

‘Thank you for driving me, Sean.’

‘Are you all right, Ella?’ he asked, concerned.

She shook her head, not trusting herself to speak as tears began to stream down her face. Sean pulled her towards him, cradling her against his chest. ‘It’s all right Ella, I’m here. You’re not alone.’

Strange, but there in his arms she felt safe and secure and not at all embarrassed. She relaxed against him, sniffling as he stroked her hair and the side of her face.

‘Ella, you are so beautiful.’

She sniffed, knowing that her eyes were red and scalded and her nose running and Sean was the only one who would still consider her beautiful.

‘You and I have known each other a long time and you know I’ll do anything for you. Should anything happen to your father, you can count on me. What I mean is that I’m here for you, Ella, I always have been.’

Ella studied his broad strong face in the darkness. He was as kind and as good a man as a girl could ever expect to meet. She’d known him all her life and knew in her heart he’d make a good match, a good husband, a good father and a good farmer. Was he offering to marry her? She didn’t want to think that far ahead, not with her father lying so ill in his hospital bed.

‘Thank you, Sean.’ Her breath shuddered as she opened the car door. ‘But Daddy’s going to get better. He’s as strong as an ox. Daddy will be fine again, you just wait and see!’

She sat at the kitchen table waiting for the kettle to boil. She’d boiled an egg for herself and out of habit had put on two; she’d have the other hard-boiled later. Two slices of her aunt’s soda bread lay buttered on her plate. She had no appetite but knew she must eat. The warm April sunshine filled the room as the birds sang outside in the trees, oblivious to her distress. A car pulled up out in the yard and, fearful, she jumped to her feet and ran to
the
door. She didn’t recognize the black Ford Anglia. A man and woman were getting out of it, and looking up at the house. She was in no mood for visitors. Most likely they were trying to sell the latest vacuum cleaners, or other household appliances. She’d be polite but firm, and get rid of them. She opened the door as they came towards her. Something about the man was familiar.

‘Ella! Ella!’

Immediately she recognized him and flew across the yard to meet him. It was Liam, her brother Liam. He’d come back!

‘Liam! Liam! I can’t believe it!’ She found herself screeching with excitement like a little girl as her older brother scooped her up in his arms and hugged her.

‘You’re all grown up Ella, a real young lady! I just can’t believe my eyes. When I left home, why, you were just a skinny schoolgirl in pigtails and now you are as pretty as a picture.’

She punched him gently in the chest, and tried to get a good look at him. He’d filled out and there were fine lines round his eyes; his hair was now tightly cropped. He was still handsome, like she remembered, but had a look of someone who had experienced much in life with a repressed sense of anger and disappointment.

‘Oh, I’m forgetting my manners,’ laughed Liam, pulling the young woman standing behind him forward. ‘This is Carmel, my wife. We got married last year. I know that the two of you will be friends.’

Ella couldn’t believe it. He was married and hadn’t even bothered telling them. She looked at the rather plain-looking girl who only seemed a few years older than herself. Her fair hair was cut to just below her chin, and her rather pale broad face was covered with a smattering of light freckles. A gold wedding band shone on her finger. The two girls hugged each other awkwardly, both unsure of what to say.

‘Come inside. You must be jaded! I’ll make a fresh pot of tea and would you like some breakfast, I’ve a few back rashers and a bit of pudding?’ she offered.

The three of them stepped into the kitchen and she noticed her brother’s eyes hungrily devouring every corner of the place: the tiled stone floor; the wooden dresser laden with plates and cups and saucers and all sorts of knick-knacks; a plaster cast statue of Our Lady in the centre of it all; the white Belfast sink, and the draining board; the range which filled the kitchen with heat; the two chairs pulled up to one side of it; the dog’s bed in the corner, and the wide pine kitchen table where they sat down.

‘It hasn’t changed a bit,’ said her brother, ‘not one blooming bit!’

Ella thought he sounded almost relieved.

‘Can I show Carmel about the place?’ Grabbing his wife’s hand, he disappeared, and she could hear the two of them racing all over the house as she melted a bit of lard in the pan and set
to
frying the bacon and setting the table.

‘I’ll fetch in the luggage,’ said her brother matter-of-factly, when they returned to the kitchen.

‘Is there anything I can do to help?’ offered her sister-in-law kindly.

‘No, you sit and relax. The breakfast will be ready in a few minutes.’

She could see the other girl run her eyes over the kitchen and cursed herself silently for not having the place a bit cleaner. The dresser was dusty and crumbs littered the floor. She lifted a bowl of sour-smelling milk off the floor; sometimes Monty liked a lick of a bowl of milk, and she should have remembered to empty it.

Liam returned with two heavy brown cases, which he deposited in the hallway.

The three of them sat around the table eating breakfast, her brother relishing the thick slices of white and black pudding that she had fried. They had always been a favourite of his. She was pouring the cups of tea and thought it strange that Liam had still made no mention of their father.

‘You got my letter about Daddy?’

‘Aye, that’s what brought us home, Ella. How is the old man? What do the doctors really think?’

She told him as much as she knew, her eyes welling with the relief of having her brother back home sitting across the table from her and sharing what was going on.

‘Daddy’s bad, real sick. Seeing you will be the best thing ever Liam, I know it will.’

‘Do you think so? We parted on bad terms, Ella. I was a selfish young pup then, and he was such an old bastard, he wanted me to slave for him and I just couldn’t take it any more. I told him what I thought of him.’

Ella studied the blue and white willow pattern on her plate. ‘That doesn’t matter any more, Liam. He’s sick and old. All that matters is that you are here now; you came back to Ireland, back to see him.’

‘Aye, I suppose so.’

‘Honest Liam, seeing you will be like a tonic. It’s just what Daddy needs. He kept all your letters by his bedside, in the drawer. Promise there’ll be no more fighting between the two of you.’

‘Of course! I’d better go to see him. Will you come to the hospital with me, Ella? I don’t want to face him on my own.’

‘Sure, I will,’ she agreed. ‘There’s visiting time this afternoon.’

It felt good the three of them sitting at the table and Ella felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude that her lost brother had finally returned to Fintra.

‘Will we sleep in my old room?’ Liam asked, draining his mug of tea and standing up to move the cases.

Ella blushed, embarrassed. She hadn’t even thought of the sleeping arrangements now that her brother had a wife. There was only a single bed in
the
room, which had been used for storing things for the past few years, once her father had given up any hope of Liam’s return. There were her father’s fishing rods and tackle box, as well as the old sewing machine of her mother’s, a jumble of old clothes and shoes, piles of
Ireland’s Own
, and annuals and books that she had read, along with broken household objects that might be used some day in the far future. On top of all that the room was musty and needed a good airing.

‘The room’s been empty for years, Liam; Daddy used it to store things. It’s a right old mess and will take a day or two to clear out.’

‘I see! What about the big room?’

‘Well you know that’s empty, with Daddy in hospital.’

‘That should do us fine, then, Ella. It’ll only be while he’s there.’

She hesitated, for a minue unsure if she was doing the right thing or not, then making a decision, sorted fresh sheets and pillowcases from the hot press and carried them in to the large double bed in her father’s room.

‘Listen, I’ll make the bed and unpack,’ her sister-in-law offered in that strange half-Irish, half-English accent of hers.

‘No! I won’t hear of it, Carmel,’ insisted Ella. ‘I’m delighted to have you both home and will make up the room for you.’

‘Maybe I’ll show Carmel the farm while you’re getting things sorted,’ suggested her brother.

Carmel shot her an apologetic glance and Ella watched from the window as the two of them walked down the driveway and set off across the fields. She still couldn’t get used to the fact of her brother having a wife, and them having no idea about it.

She had soup and sandwiches ready when they returned.

‘It’s huge,’ murmured Carmel. ‘I wasn’t expecting the place to be so big. Liam always told me he grew up on a small farm in Ireland.’

‘How do you think the place looks?’ Ella asked, wondering what her brother thought of the low field which had been drained about five years before and all the other work she and her father had done on the place since he went away.

‘Aye, ’tis grand!’

She noticed her brother avoided discussing all the changes that had happened since his absence. Why, he hadn’t even mentioned all their ewes and lambs and their increased headage of cattle.

‘Why don’t you two go to the hospital and I’ll clean and wash up here,’ offered Carmel. ‘Liam, you father’s probably much too ill to take in the shock of a new daughter-in-law. I think it would be better for just the pair of you to go.’

‘Are you sure you’ll be all right here, love?’

‘Aye.’ She nodded, kissing his cheek.

Ella followed him out to the car, slipping into the passenger seat. To be honest she was glad to
have
some time on her own with him before they reached St Joseph’s.

She could feel the tension and strain between them, knowing that this stranger who called himself her brother had made no effort to keep in touch with her at all. He’d walked out of her life just as surely as he’d abandoned their father and Fintra. He drove along the narrow roads that cross-crossed the countryside, barely looking at their land or making mention of the farm.

‘Why did you go away, Liam?’

‘I told you already,’ he replied, barely lifting his eyes off the roadway.

‘No honestly, tell me why?’

She had waited more than ten years to hear the full reason why her brother had taken himself off to England, disappeared out of their lives. She could remember bawling her eyes out, curled up in her winceyette nightdress wondering why her brother had left her, and her father stroking her hair and drying her eyes, and telling her that they’d be grand the two of them on their own. She was inconsolable, still grieving for her dead mother and then her lost brother. At the time it had seemed to her that everyone she loved had left her, and her father remained the only constant presence in her life.

‘I had to get away Ella; I just had to get away from this place and from him. You were too small; you don’t remember what he was like. He had me
working
that bloody land since I was a lad of about seven. I wanted to stay on at school but he wouldn’t hear of it, oh no, he had to drag me out of the Christian Brothers after Mammy died and make me stay home and help with the farm. I’d him arguing and shouting and bullying me day in, day out. What kind of life was that! I couldn’t stick another minute of it. In the end I warned him, tried to get him to cut me a bit of slack, like the Flanagans and the other farmers did with their lads. He’d have none of it, I was his slave and by God was I going to work for every shilling he threw me! I packed my bag and left, Ella. All I could think of at the time was getting away from him and this bloody place. That’s all he cares about you know, that bloody land of his.’

Ella stared out the car windows as the landscape spun wildly by. Liam was still angry with their father. Nothing had really changed.

‘I got a job in London straight away, and when the war ended there was massive reconstruction going on. I’d a job on a building site as a brickie and found a nice digs for myself.’

‘Didn’t you miss home?’

He shrugged his shoulders. ‘There were thousands of other Paddies over there. We had a bit of a laugh on the building sites and the money was good. One good thing was that the old man had got me used to hard work. After about two years I signed on for the merchant navy because I’d decided it was high time I got to see a bit of the world.’

‘Where did you sail to?’ she asked, full of curiosity.

‘Spain, Italy, Germany, Egypt and Morocco. You name it Ella; I probably got to see them. I saw the pyramids, and rode a camel in the desert.’

‘Like the sheik of Arabia.’ She giggled, picturing her brother like Rudolph Valentino or one of the other film stars.

‘Something like that.’

‘Go on!’ she pleaded.

‘Well, Greece was another of our regular stops, and Naples too.’

‘Did you go to Rome?’

‘Aye, I did that too. Saw the old Roman Empire temples and the Colosseum and the like and the fountains. ’Tis a beautiful city, I had a week’s leave there.’