Promises (14 page)

“You’re thinking too hard.” Aaron shook his head.  “You’re twisting what happened into something so much worse.”

“Of course I am,” Jason snapped.  “What if I lose control again?  I can’t promise anyone that I won’t, I can’t promise anyone-”

“It’s not anyone, it’s Izzy, a woman you care about in a remarkably small amount of time.  You’d go ape-shit if anyone hurt her, you’re already boiling mad that someone is harassing her and she didn’t come to you for help.  You’re worried sick that you forced her, you freaked out at the thought.  You, Jason, are no coward, I know you better than you think I do.  But you’re letting your fears rule your head and heart.”

Jason glared at him.  “Becoming an abusive bastard like my father?  Hell yeah, that frightens me and I’m not ashamed to admit it.”

Aaron regarded him calmly.  “You’re not your father.  You don’t think like him, you don’t act like him.  You know what he is, you know what you aren’t.  Are you going to lose a chance with the first girl who’s spiked your interest because of your fear?  Your father ruled you in Gully’s Fall until you pulled yourself and your mother out from under his heavy, abusive hand.  You drove your mother all those miles with busted ribs, you swallowed your pride when you walked into my Dad’s house, you were prepared to leave her in safety and go away if he wasn’t going to help her because of you.  You really think your Dad would have done that?”

“No,” Jason said.  “No, he wouldn’t.  But what if-”

“What if you hadn’t left, what if you had stayed in that town, what if?  That
what if
didn’t happen.  What you have is now.  You’ve grown up, you’ve taken your own realization and determination and made something of yourself.  You, Jason,” Aaron prodded him in the chest with a surprisingly strong finger that hurt just a little, “don’t give yourself any credit for what you’ve accomplished.  This is a new chapter in your life, embrace it, know what you’re doing, be sure Izzy knows what you want, and make sure you know what she wants.  That’s it.”

“You think it’s that easy?” Jason demanded.  “To just go ahead without a qualm?”

“No.  No, I don’t.  Going after what you want isn’t always easy, it takes work.  It just depends if you’re interested enough in Izzy to try and make it work.  Now, you’re not your father, you never will be with your conscious and expectations of yourself.  You have a pretty woman you’re interested in and you need to decide if you care enough about her to do something more than just kiss her and run.”

Not totally convinced, Jason shoved his hands into his pockets.

“Unless you’re okay with another man chasing her and you’re happy to step back and let her go.”

Jason’s gaze narrowed.  Another man?  That thought hadn’t even entered his head.  It certainly wasn’t a welcome one.

“I’m going back to the house.”  Aaron pushed away from the ute.  “Have a breather before you come back in.”

Thoughts in turmoil, wishing he could be just as confident, Jason watched his cousin stride away before turning to lean his forearms on the tray of the ute and look unseeingly out over it to the various tradesmen and labourers.

Shit, the thought of another man taking Izzy out, kissing those lush lips, cradling that curvy, warm body close - man, that did not sit well.  But regardless of what Aaron assured him, part of him still feared he might have inherited that violent side of his father.  The same blood coursed through his veins, coursed through his brother’s, and look how Brand had turned out - just like their father.  Same blood. 

And through your veins also courses your mother’s side, and that’s decent blood.

It was a long time before he went back inside the house.

Chapter 5

Pulling up in the driveway, Izzy deliberately didn’t look at the big old house next door.  If she saw Jason she’d die of embarrassment and shame, though she’d scolded herself so many times already.

She had nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to be embarrassed about.  So she wasn’t perfect, so she wasn’t slim and beautiful, so what?  She held her own in the world, she was independent, confident…well, kind of confident.  Now and again something would happen that made her stand on confidence waver, but she’d always managed to scramble back up, brace her legs apart, put her hands on her hips and lift her chin in renewed determination.

It was what had gotten her through that horrible time.  It was what had gotten her to where she stood now, and no man was going to make her feel worthless.

Sucking in a bracing breath, she shoved the car door open, got out, swung the strap of her small bag over her shoulder and slammed the door shut - and cringed just a little at the thought that Jason would hear.

Okay, might have to work on the confidence thing just a wee bit. 
It had certainly taken a battering the previous night.

Beeping the lock of the car door, she straightened her shoulders and strode across the yard to the veranda, climbed it with more outward assurance than she really felt, unlocked the door and entered the safety of her little home.

Immediately she suspected something was wrong.  No big-eared Siamese with big blue eyes was waiting for her demanding food because he was starving to death and all he had left were measly old cat biccies.  No cat prancing merrily down the hallway nattering away that he’d been alone all day and where had she been?  No cat on the hall side table grabbing for the car keys she dropped into the bowl.

“Arnie?”  Placing the bag down, she checked the kitchen.

Nope, no cat sleeping on the kitchen bench in direct violation of the long-defunct no-cat-on-the-kitchen-bench rule.  No cat snoozing on the sofa, no cat tucked up under the doona.  The spare room was empty.

Her heart fell as she called out again and again.  No use.  Arnie had escaped.  Somehow, he had escaped.

Rubbing her brow, she sighed.  So caught up in her problems plus the fact that he hadn’t escaped for a couple of nights now, she’d truly thought his escape route had been cut-off.  Looked like she was wrong.

Then she cringed.  Oh boy, even worse, he might have…
oh geez, no.  Please no.

Moving to the spare bedroom window, she peered through the curtains at the old house next door.  Nothing moved.  Her gaze slid to the kitchen window at the back of Jason’s house.  Empty.  Oh, thank God.  Maybe Arnie hadn’t gotten inside, maybe he’d just found a sunny spot in the backyard to snooze in, though it was getting darker.  She looked up at the open balcony door, her heart toppling to her feet at the sight of Arnie hanging off the flywire screen.  As she watched he was plucked off, the curtain falling over it blocking her vision.

Jason was inside.  Oh
God
.  She rested her head against the window pane, the lace curtain abrasive against her skin, unable to believe that her nosey cat had again gotten into the house of the man who’d been revolted at kissing her.  Was it a conspiracy?  A male bonding thing?  Was the universe out to get her?

Hoping Jason would toss Arnie out on his furry arse, she returned to the window.  Nothing happened.  No Arnie appeared over the fence.  Going out onto the veranda, she peeked over at Jason’s front yard.  No Arnie sitting on his steps or walking in his yard.

Nibbling on her bottom lip, she debated what to do.  Leave Arnie there and hope Jason turfed him out?  It was growing darker, night would descend soon, and no way did she want Arnie wandering the streets at night.  Night time was for fighting and hunting, and getting hit by a car a deadly possibility.  No, he had to be in very soon.  If Arnie got out now he’d hightail it for parts unknown and she’d be up all night trying to find him, waiting for the knock on the door from some passer-by who had either run over her cat or seen him on the side of the road.

Crap, her imagination was running wild but it could all come true, scarily enough.  No, she might be embarrassed at facing Jason again, but no way was she going to desert her furry pain-in-the-arse to the fates of the night.

“Be a grown-up,” she muttered, locking the door and clenching the keys in her fist.  “Just go over there and get your cat, hold your chin up, be icily polite, remember your neighbour is a jerk, and get back home.  Be a grown-up.”  Taking a deep breath, she lifted her chin and with purpose strode across to Jason’s home.  “Look at me, being the grown-up.  Yahoo.  Thanks, Arnie.”

The garage door was shut, no doubt his ute parked safely inside.  A light shone through a crack in the lounge room curtains.  The security screen was shut, the wooden door had a pane of coloured glass in the upper middle of it from which light showed, and a doorbell was situated at the side of the door.  She jammed her thumb on it and stood back, schooling her features to a calm politeness.

A full minute passed.  She jammed her thumb on the doorbell again. Still nothing.  Her lips tightened in annoyance.  She knew he was home, she’d seen him pull her cat off the flywire of the balcony door and she could hear the faint trickle of music.  Impatiently, she knocked loudly on the wall beside the door and folded her arms.

Second later the door opened, light spilling warmly out to bath her in its glow.  Silhouetted was the tall, lean, yet surprisingly strong man who’d just about burned her socks off the other night with a passionate kiss, then shattered her by shoving her away.

“Izzy.”  His voice rolled over her in soothing deepness.  “I’m glad to-”

“I believe Arnie is in here.” 
Jason’s an arsehole no matter how nice his voice
.  Izzy angled her jaw up.

“He is.”  The security screen was unlocked, the door swinging open as Jason stood to one side.  “Come in.”

“If you’ll just bring him out here to me, we’ll both get out of your hair.”  The last bit of the sentence came out with more of a bite than icy composure.

With the light behind him, Jason’s face was in shadows, but it was still enough to reveal his eyes gazing down at her, his delicious mouth softly closed.  It was all Izzy could do not to both stare at that mouth and turn tail and bolt away from that gaze.

Jason gestured with one hand.  “Step inside.”

“No, thanks.  Just bring me Arnie.”

“Izzy-”

“Arnie.”  Arms still folded, she glared up at him, looking him right in the eyes. 
Not my fault.  I didn’t do anything to warrant that disgust the other night.  Stand my ground.

He chose that moment to glance around into the house as Arnie flashed past to run madly up the stairs with something firmly clamped in his mouth.  “I think he just kidnapped my clean socks. He was supervising me folding laundry.”

With an inward groan, Izzy watched Arnie disappear from view.

Smiling, teeth flashing white in the gloom, Jason looked down at her.  “Guess we’ll have to hunt him down.”

“I’m not hunting him down,” she responded tightly.  “You get him.  I’ll wait here.”

Jason’s smile faded, the usual serious expression falling across his face.  “Izzy, I’m so sorry.”

“No idea what you’re talking about.  Can you please get my cat?”

“I’m apologizing for the other night.”

“And I’m not apologizing for being the source of your disgust!”  Oops.  Izzy hadn’t meant to say anything, but the damage was done.

Jason’s eyes actually widened.  “I beg your pardon?”

“Nothing.”  Embarrassed all over again, she hunched her shoulders a little, scowled.  “Will you
please
get my cat?”

As if to torture her for his own feline delight, Arnie chose that moment to appear, press his face against the banister, and stare down at her with a  happy, if not slightly grating, meow.

A frown pulled Jason’s brows together.  “Izzy, I-”

“
Jason!
  My cat!”  Recovering her composure took some doing.  She was sucking in so many deep breaths lately it was amazing there was any oxygen left in the atmosphere.  “Please, just get Arnie, okay?”

Oh shit
.  Her ears burned as she tucked her chin down.  That last bit wasn’t composure.  That last bit was a little wobbly. 
Stay angry.  Not angry enough to blubber.  Shit, I’m angry enough to blubber.  Oh crap.  For the love of all that is holy, do.  Not.  Cry!

“Ah man.”  In a move that caught her off guard, Jason wrapped one arm around her shoulders and dragged her up against him.  “Oh man, Iz.  I’m so sorry.”

Stunned, Izzy found herself pulled inside the house with him.  Flush against his body, she grabbed onto his upper arm, feeling the bulge of hard muscle beneath her palm.  The sleeve of his flannel shirt might hide the impressive bicep, but there was no denying the swell of it.

The click of the wooden door shutting yanked her from her astonishment.  Bracing her hands on his chest, she jerked back - or tried to.  His arm around her shoulders prevented her from moving far.

Looking up, she was struck by his expression.  Kind, regretful. 
Regretful.
 
Shoot me now! 
Humiliation accompanied by fury whipped through her as she shoved more forcefully against him.  “I said
let me go
!”

He released her so fast she almost fell backwards with the force she’d exerted against him.  She stumbled back, he reached for her, grabbed her arms, steadied her and then let go like she was a hot coal.

“Izzy-”

“Just get me my cat, damn it!”  Her eyes were bright with tears.

He looked torn, his mouth grim, his eyes unhappy.  “Okay.  Okay, I’ll get him.”  He swung around, started for the staircase, stopped and swung back.  “No.  No, I can’t let-”

“Jason!”  She barely refrained from hiccupping it.

“Goddamn it,” he muttered, swinging around once more and starting to climb the stairs.

Arnie, the furry traitor, spotted him and took off in the opposite direction.

Izzy swallowed the lump in her throat, used the sleeve of her cardigan to blot away the tear that threatened to escape.

Jason glanced over his shoulder, his gaze fell on her arm still suspended in the air, and his jaw clenched.  Turning, he strode down the staircase and right up to her.

Automatically she planted her hands on her hips.  “I don’t want to hear your false apology, all right?  I just want my cat and I’ll be out of your hair.”

“You’re not in my hair,” he replied tightly, the little muscle at the corner of his mouth ticing.

“Lucky you.  Arnie!”

“He’s not coming down anytime soon.”

“Then I’ll go up and get him.”  Izzy moved past him.

She hadn’t gone two feet before her upper arm was grabbed in a gentle but firm grip.  Jason pulled her to a halt, moving quickly to block her pathway to the staircase.

“Please don’t cry,” he said softly.  “I never meant to upset you.”

“I’m not upset.  I’m so mad I could kick you in the nuts and do a victory dance on what’s left of your scrotum.”  She sniffed.

He stared at her for a full five seconds, then those firm lips quirked at the corners.  “Vicious little thing, aren’t you?”

“I’m not little,” she lashed back.

“Okay.”

“And don’t patronise me.”  She looked up at the staircase to see Arnie sitting at the top watching them.  “Get down here, you little traitor.”

Arnie lifted his paw.  For one crazy second she wondered if he was giving her the equivalent of the bird, but he just licked his paw and started grooming one big seal-coloured ear.

Before she could go in pursuit, Jason laid a hand on her shoulder.  “Izzy, I need to talk to you.”

“You’re sorry, yadda yadda yadda.  I get the drift.  Don’t worry yourself over it.”

“You are really pissed,” he said.

She stared at him in disbelief.  “Are you for real?  You kissed me and then all but threw me away!”  Furious, she jabbed him in the chest with a stiff forefinger.  “I can take rejection, Jason, but if you were so revolted kissing me then you should have considered that before
you
did it!  Not to mention hiding it a little better!  Now I want my bloody cat and I want to go home!”  Trembling, she glared up at him through a haze.

Slowly, Jason reached out to brush his thumb under her eye, catching the tear that slipped free.

“I’m not crying.” She jerked her head back from his touch.  “I mean, I am, but only because I’m so bloody furious that I - that I -”  Words failed her.

“Want to kick me in the nuts and do a victory dance on what’s left of my scrotum?”

“I’m glad you find it funny.”  She started storming towards the staircase.  “I cry when I’m mad, okay?”

Arnie took one look at her, froze, and then darted off into one of the rooms.

“Izzy, I’m not laughing at you.”  Jason’s big hand suddenly engulfed her own, tugging her around to once again face him.

She tried to withdraw her hand but he didn’t release her, his hold a gentle but firm shackle, his skin so warm and dry around her smaller hand.